by Laura Wylde
As we arrived at the tunnel and we started to see people coming back all injured and covered in bruises and blood, my hope sunk low. There was no way that all my guys could have survived this. Not a chance. I didn’t want to think about losing any of them. They all made up what was perfect for me and I couldn’t stand any of the puzzle not being complete.
“Jabari,” I gushed out, some relief flooding me as I saw the leader of my pack. He gave me a grim look which didn’t fill me with any confidence, but that was hardly surprising since between him, Jakar, and Javier, they were carrying two bodies. Men I didn’t recognize, but that was irrelevant, it was still an incredibly sobering sight. To lose anyone’s life was horrible.
They walked past towards the middle of the city center and lay the bodies down. Others followed and I couldn’t stop my eyes from desperately scanning the crowd.
“Tony,” I whispered. I couldn’t believe that he was back too. As soon as he saw me, he raced over to me, breaking free from the crowd to wrap me up in his arms. He hugged me so tight that I just crumbled in his arms. All the emotion came flooding back. “Thank God you’re here.”
“Thank God you are here,” he hissed back. “I thought you might have left me.”
“Never,” I insisted, fiercely. “I would never leave you.”
He pulled back to give me a look. “Does that mean what I think it does? You’re staying?”
I smiled and nodded, loving the relief crossing his face. He really did want me here. Knowing that just made my decision feel even more right. I was wanted, this was my home.
“Ramon and Seth,” I gasped as I glanced over Tony’s shoulder. “They are here too.”
“Of course, they are.” Tony nudged me, playfully. “You didn’t think that any of us wouldn’t make it back, did you? I promised you that we would all be okay, and we are.”
“Not everyone is though, are they?” I said, sadly. “Some people didn’t make it.”
“No, I know.” Tony’s face darkened. “I am unimpressed about that. It’s very sad.”
“What about the jaguars? Did any of them die? What happened?”
Tony didn’t give me a number, which admittedly worried me, but I suppose there was nothing I could do about it now. As long as the war was over for the time being.
“We buried them. The jaguars ran away and left us with them all, so we buried them to show our respect because it was never our intention for the jaguars to die. We wanted to end this peacefully, but they wouldn’t let it happen. They tricked us and tried to pull the wool over our eyes. They attempted it, it was a sneak attack and we didn’t have a choice.”
I held on to his arm and gave him an understanding look. This wasn’t his fault, and I knew it. I couldn’t be there so I would never be certain, but it seemed clear to me that the panthers were backed into a corner and had to do what they needed to, just to survive.
“It’s over now, isn’t it?” I whispered reassuringly to him. “We’re all okay.”
“I think it will be a very long time, if ever, before they attack again.”
So, the threat was over for now. I suppose it couldn’t be forever unless all the jaguars were dead and since there was supposed to be millions of them all over the world, no one wanted that to happen. I just had to hope that they would be bored of us all now and we could get on with the rest of our lives just being happy in Panthera forever.
“What happens now?” I asked. “Why is everyone gathering in the city center?”
“We have our own rituals for the dead. We will now have our funeral ceremony for the two who didn’t make it which includes burning them on the pyre and speaking about them.”
“Oh wow...” I wasn’t expecting that. “I see. That will be something new.”
Tony held me to him, making me feel all safe and calm once more. Ramon locked eyes with me and he gave me a sharp nod, but I could see that he was in pain. Physically and emotionally. Just like Tony, he hated what had happened. They weren’t a spiteful race. That was what I adored so much about them, that was why I connected with them so well. They wanted a peaceful life with happiness, looking after the world, just like I did.
“Don’t you all need to tend to your injuries first?” I asked. “You all look hurt.”
“That’s something we can do afterwards. We heal well, you have seen that by now.”
“Yes, I have, but it’s still very worrying. I don’t want anyone to get worse.”
“We’re better than we were by the sight of the fight. Be rest assured of that.”
Well, that sure as hell didn’t make me feel any better, but I suppose that was what I had for now. To know that they were at least on the way to getting better.
Tony pulled me then to the center of the city alongside him to witness the funeral ceremony. We stood beside Ramon and Seth, and Jabari in the center of the crowd with his cousins, helping to lift the bodies. He wasn’t looking at anyone, I could tell that he didn’t like this situation at all. I wanted to hug him so badly, to make this all go away for him. I wanted to be the rock for him to lean on, to take any of his pain from him, but I couldn’t. All I could do was watch.
Javier said some words that I didn’t quite understand before he lit a fire underneath the pyre. I had to close my eyes as the flames flickered upwards, reaching towards the sky. The sounds of crackling were soothing, but the smell of the burning bodies was too much. I knew that this was the way of the panthers, but it would take a little while to get used to.
I opened my eyes as one of the other panthers began to speak with a whole lot of emotion. I quickly picked up that he was the leader of the pack of one of the deceased, and the death was crushing him. Hearing his loving words for one of his fellow panthers brought tears to my eyes too. Everyone was weeping, you would have to have a heart of stone not to fall apart. His words showed me just how much they all meant to one another. It was a true, real family. They all really meant the world to one another. I was used to a world where a lot of people were only out for themselves. Who had their selfish needs at heart and wouldn’t glance at their neighbor even if they were on fire. Who didn’t give a shit about the environment. Whereas here, everyone really cared about one another. It was the family that I had never had before.
I rubbed my eyes and clung to my chest, trying to calm myself down. It was okay to get consumed by emotion, but I was supposed to be the tower of strength for my men. That was my role today and I would do everything that I could to uphold it for them.
I will be okay. We all will, I reassured myself. This, we will survive. We will grow stronger.
Once the funeral was done and the bodies burned, we returned to the house where I could finally tend to the wounds of my men. As I did what I could to calm the inflammation down and to clean up the blood, I tried to find out what had happened at the fight, but no one seemed too willing to talk. I guess they didn’t want to bring back up the horrible memories.
Instead, I chose to say something else. “I got rid of the evidence.”
“What do you mean?” Jabari asked with a wince. “What evidence?”
“You know, the photos and video. That evidence. It’s gone. I deleted it all.”
“Why?” Ramon asked. “The war is over now. It doesn’t matter so much anymore.”
“Because…” A giant grin spread across my face. I was so thrilled to get this news out. “I want to stay, that’s why, and I don’t ever want our secret to get out.”
Everyone stood in silence for a moment, aside from Tony who clapped his hands together a few times, gleefully. Of course, he wasn’t shocked which only confirmed to the others that this was really happening. Seth’s expression was the first to turn to one of happiness.
“That’s amazing,” he said, joyfully. “Panthera is so much better with you in it.”
“This is the best news that I have had all day,” Ramon agreed.
“We would be overjoyed to have you here,” Jabari finished. “You make this place so much better.
If this has taught me anything, it’s that family is the most important thing.”
I nodded and agreed with him. Family was the most important thing. Not necessarily the family that a person was born into but the one that they chose. And this was for sure the one I wanted.
“Are all of you feeling better?” I asked as I took them in one by one. “Is there anything else that I can do for you? And more wounds need cleaning up? Food? Drink? Anything like that?”
“Oh, we won’t need to eat here,” Jabari said. “The feast will happen soon.”
“Feast? What are you talking about?”
“The feast and party to celebrate winning. And also, to celebrate the lives of those who we lost. We don’t want it to be a sad affair. We always need to recall the good times, you know?”
Personally, I wasn’t too sure if that was the best idea. I didn’t know if there was anyone who would be in the mood, but it wasn’t my place to question it. If this was what they thought was right, then I would go along with them. I would feel bad for celebrating all of my men coming back when not everyone did, but I was happy about it.
“That sounds nice. I’m sure it will be fun.”
“Do you have anything to wear?” Jabari asked. “It can be a posh event.”
“Uh oh. I don’t have anything like that. I don’t travel with posh dresses.”
“I’m sure Reese and Kayla will help you out. If you want them to…”
I shrugged and smiled. I guess it was a day of trying out new things. And why shouldn’t I wear a nice dress to look good for my guys? This would be the closest thing to a date that I would get, so why not make the most of it? I was actually pretty excited to see where it would lead…
“Are you sure this looks okay?” I asked Reese for what felt like the hundredth time as I tugged the dress down. “I don’t know if it fits me right. I feel all weird in it.”
“You look beautiful. Better than I ever did in it. Especially with your hair all curled like that. The purple looks incredible. You messaged your friends, didn’t you? They liked it?”
Maz and Darla sure did. They both said that they hadn’t ever seen me looking so good, but that didn’t stop the nerves from zig zagging through me. I wasn’t sure why because I knew all of the men liked me just as I was, but it felt like there was some serious pressure on me. I was probably just putting it on myself though, wanting this night to be perfect. It felt like the first day of the rest of my life, and I really did want to make the best of it.
“They did.” I breathed in deep a couple of times. “I just need to get used to it.”
“Well, I can hear music, so I think that it might be time to get going. Are you okay?”
“Yes… at least, I think so. It’s all just a bit…”
“I know that feeling,” she told me, reassuringly. “It’s the dizziness that comes from falling in love. I felt exactly the same way when I first realized that I was staying here forever. It’s a nerve wracking but amazing feeling that you will get used to. Once this is your life, it’s perfect.”
“You have hit the nail on the head. That’s exactly how I feel!”
“Then you are one lucky lady because I can assure you that it only gets better from here.”
Reese held out her arm to me in the way that a true friend would, and we walked down the stairs together. Having her by my side did help me to make it out. As soon as we got outside and I spotted the jaws of my men dropping hard to the ground, all the anxiety simply melted away. It was more the anticipation of getting back to them than anything else.
“Wow,” Jabari gushed. “Tara, you look incredible.”
“There aren’t any words to describe you,” Tony agreed. “Stunning.”
“Beautiful,” chimed in Ramon.
“Like an angel.” I was most shocked and pleased to hear Seth talk. That was the nicest treat for me. “I have never seen someone as gorgeous as you before.”
A heat raced up through my body. It was a little embarrassing and overwhelming, but lovely too. Every single thing that happened here just made my life that much better.
“Why thank you,” I teased. “None of you look too bad yourself. I don’t often see you in suits.”
“Well, it’s a special day,” Tony declared with a chuckle. “We thought it best to make an effort.”
Everyone had, it wasn’t just us. They were all dressed to the nines and trying to celebrate the victory now. The sadness was still there a little in the air, but mostly we were surrounded by joy. Glee that at least for the time being, things were good. The instant future was a given.
“We eat soon,” Ramon said, while holding his hand out to me. “But for now, should we dance?”
Other couples were dancing, but it was still a shock to be asked. “I don’t know if I can dance well,” I admitted. “But if you’re okay to be patient with me then I will give it a try.”
“I can be patient, especially with someone that I love so much.”
“You love me?” To hear him say it aloud was incredible. It made my heart absolutely race.
“Of course, I do. We all do. You did know that, didn’t you?”
“Well, I do now! And I love you all too, okay? I think I’ve loved you for ages.”
“Now you tell us!” Tony teased. “Thank goodness, we were losing our minds over here.”
Ramon kissed me before I could make some smart ass remark back as the others cheered. My heart unlocked and I felt free as a bird as the feelings were fully out there now. I loved them, and they loved me. That was all I needed.
I shared an intense look with each of them, really feeling the powerful emotion swirling around us. If this was the first day of the rest of my life, then it couldn’t get better than this. My life really was just about to begin, and it promised to be phenomenal.
Jabari
Finally, it was my turn to dance with Tara. As always, I was prepared to wait for her because I knew that she was worth it. But I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to get my hands on her soon before I fell apart. Knowing that she was staying here forever changed everything. Finally, I could be open and honest with my emotions, which felt incredible. I was over the moon.
“So,” I said with a smile once I had my hands on her waist. “The felinologist is about to take her next research step into a new direction, am I right? By preserving the race.”
She giggled and blushed brightly. “It seems that way, doesn’t it?”
“That takes a very dedicated researcher, doesn’t it? To go that far.” All of a sudden, I realized that there was serious edge to my teasing. “You know, we are grateful to you for everything that you have done. Not just for looking out for us all the time and taking care of us, but for helping to preserve the race. It really does take special people to come here and do this.”
“Well, I’m just glad to have found the cause that I know is worth fighting for, that’s all.” She shrugged as if she wasn’t mostly turning her back on her old life for us. “I think that’s what I have been searching for my whole life. Something that I truly believe in and that I want to throw myself into for life. With all my other causes, I did my bit and I was happy, but here I want to stay. With you…” She rubbed her hand delicately down my arm. “And the others. I really do love you all. You have made my life amazing. I wouldn’t be without you now.”
Hearing those words made my heart race at the speed of light. She truly meant it. I couldn’t believe how afraid I was that Panthera wouldn’t suit her. She was one of us now, one of my pack. I cared about her as much as I did the other guys. She was the perfect woman to carry our child.
“It isn’t just you,” Tara continued. “It’s everyone. You have all made me feel welcome. Even with the friends that I had before, I never felt the same closeness I have with Reese and Kayla. I know that they were friends before, but they haven’t made me feel left out at all.”
“Good. I’m glad.” I nodded, sharply. “It is a wonderful place to live, but I want everyone to
make you feel welcome. I want them all to accept you as much as I do.”
“Maybe not quite as much as you do,” she giggled while squeezing my side. “I think I have enough on my hands with the four of you. I don’t want to add more on.”
“Mmm, that’s true. But I have a jealous side that you don’t want to come out.”
She giggled and leaned her head against my chest so we could sway to the music for a little while. It was the calmest, most peaceful moment I’d had in a very long time. My eyes slid closed and I absolutely loved it. It was blissful and wonderous. I never wanted it to end.
“So, where are we going to live now?” Tara asked me. “Here, or in the city.”
“Hmm, well we don’t have to live in the city anymore, if you don’t want to. But we can also keep the townhouse if you want to go there as well. The choice is yours.”
She paused for a while, presumably thinking this through. I never thought that I would want to leave Panthera permanently, it wasn’t supposed to be a long term thing, but now that love was in the picture I would do anything to keep this woman happy. I knew the guys felt the same way. They adored her and would want her life to be a good one.
“Why don’t we split our time between the two?” She finally replied. “I would prefer to be mostly here, but I think we should keep the townhouse just in case. You never know when we might need a break.” She shot me a wink. “A time for just the five of us.”
I nodded in instant agreement. Now that was something I could get on board with…
“Well, well, well…” Javier said loudly, grabbing both mine and Tara’s attention. “I hear there is more good news today. Am I right about that?”