by D. S. Elstad
“You doing ok, Wils?” he mumbled, staring at the floor.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied. We sat there without a word for a long time, each of us wrestling with the bizarre series of events that had come our way on this trip to Dad’s homeland.
My cell phone began vibrating in my pocket, startling both of us. I quickly opened it and read the message from Kelleigh. I’d totally forgotten that we were going to get together. Dad glanced over and saw the message and suggested I keep my date with them and try to put my grandparents out of my mind, at least for a while. It sounded like a great idea; only thing was that my mind was in overload, not just with everything regarding Grandma but with all the other unfathomable happenings of the last week. Putting any of it “out of my mind” was close to impossible. But I agreed, anxious to see Kelleigh and Quinn again and hopefully find some answers to the multitude of questions that were piling up.
When my second cousins showed up at the hotel, they were curious about what had transpired since the last time I saw them. I shared everything I knew about Grandma and Grandpa, then mulled over just how much I should confide in them.
Kelleigh sped through town and jolted us into a parking space at a coffee shop. We found a quiet little table in the corner where I hoped I could share some of the latest. Just as I was beginning to tell them about the car and the thing that jumped on the hood and dented it, Quinn stood up, waving both arms. I quickly spun around and felt happy at the sight of Bram heading towards us, his eyes completely focused on mine, a trace of a smile on his lips. He reached his hands out and held onto my shoulders, lowering his head to kiss my cheek. I smiled at the raised-eyebrow exchange between Quinn and Kelleigh.
“Well, well, we’re certainly very familiar now, aren’t we?” Kelleigh winked.
I shrugged while watching Quinn interpret for Bram. Bram just grinned as he pulled out a chair and sat beside me.
The first few minutes of our reunion found us all laughing and being entertained by Quinn as he shared stories of his day at school. The happiness was soon replaced by a quiet seriousness. Kelleigh was the first to put on a somber face. She began to grill me on the transformation. Had there been any more dreams, had I felt different in any way, were there any residual effects of the shifting? I looked over at Bram.
“I know that he knows what’s happening, Willow; he called Quinn, he was concerned.”
I glared at Quinn. “Remind me to never tell you a secret. You told Bram after you promised me you wouldn’t tell anyone but Kelleigh.”
“He asked about you, said he had a feeling something was going on, and before I knew it, I spilled the beans.” Quinn blushed and pursed his lips, “Sorry,” he said in a little-boy voice. “But I swear I didn’t tell anyone else.”
I wondered how much they knew about Bram, if they were aware of his ability to shift. I decided they probably weren’t. It would have come up when Quinn first saw my transformation. Bram’s hand was squeezing my shoulder as he read Quinn, as if he was telling me to keep his secret. I’d planned on it. The only way that bit of information was coming out was if Bram himself decided to share it.
“I haven’t shifted anymore, but some other strange things have happened,” I said, reaching for my steaming cup of tea. I poured a small amount of honey in it, raised it to my lips, and welcomed the warmth moving down my throat.
“Oh?” Kelleigh replied.
I began my story with my first recollection of the dark movement I’d seen at the hotel. Then I explained that it showed up several more times, once with Bram. Kelleigh shot Bram an inquisitive glare to which he replied, “It was a shadow, a dark form that moved quickly; we weren’t able to focus on it. I tried to catch up to it but lost it in the woods near the castle.”
Kelleigh’s face pinched up in an expression of deep thought. She began to speak but stopped herself, biting her lower lip, nodding her head for me to continue.
“But the strangest thing that happened was at Grandfather’s house. I was alone in our rental car while Dad and Uncle Eagan went inside to talk to Grandpa.” I relayed the whole story, emphasizing the fierceness of whatever it was that’d been trying to get to me and that it had made another appearance in the hotel hallway. I watched Quinn’s and Kelleigh’s expressions intensify as I replayed the happenings of the afternoon. When I told them about finding the claw, Kelleigh quickly grabbed her phone and began clicking away, searching the net.
She sat back looking at Bram, nudged Quinn and said, “Ask him if his dad might recall ever finding anything like that.”
Quinn’s hands spoke while Bram shook his head. “There are claws around here, especially near the park, you know that, Kelleigh.”
“I know, but I’m wondering if he’s ever heard of one that can be linked to the shadowy creature that’s been after Willow.”
He shook his head no again. “My da may be an expert on local legend and folklore, but he’s also a realist. There are plenty of animals roaming about that may have lost that claw.”
Kelleigh frowned. She wasn’t buying Bram’s explanation. “I don’t suppose you brought it here with you, did you, Willow?”
Just then I realized that, no, I didn’t have it, but also that I’d left it laying on the dresser in the hotel room. A quick jolt of panic shot through me with the realization that Dad might find it. Just as fast I relaxed, reminding myself that it really wasn’t that unusual a claw unless you knew the circumstances behind how I got. Most probably Dad wouldn’t even notice it; he had so much on his mind.
“No, I don’t have it.” I eased back into my seat.
Once the waitress delivered our food we again returned to more cheerful topics. After we were done Kelleigh suggested we go back to Killarney Park. Both Bram and Quinn were against the idea but I felt excited and curious. While Kelleigh urged her brother on I quickly shot Bram a text and told him how much I wanted to go. He said he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, but if I wanted to, he felt he needed to be there as well. With that we split up, with Quinn and Kelleigh in one car; I joined Bram in his.
The last car pulled out of its parking place at the park and left us alone. We stood alongside our respective vehicles pulling on jackets and scarves and gloves, readying ourselves for the chill that was sure to come with the setting sun.
“What time does the park close?” I asked, taking note of the empty parking lot.
“It’s open twenty-four hours to pedestrians,” Bram answered without waiting for Quinn to interpret for him.
Once we were all bundled up we headed off to the trailhead at the end of the parking lot. My eyes scoped the surroundings, rapidly trying to take in as much as I could while there was still some light. The rich tones of the setting sun brought the forest’s shadows to life. They danced along with the changing depths of light and dark, reflective of the suns final hold on the day. The echoes of the woodland inhabitants filled the air as they all scurried about, getting ready for a night’s rest.
I looked up at Bram, feeling sad at his inability to hear the sounds of the woods – the birds, frogs, crickets, sounds that were as much a part of the forest as the creatures themselves. But as we walked, I studied his face. The way he looked around, his expression, the complete and total connection to the forest, somehow surpassed his sense of hearing. I was unable to put my finger on it; it was almost as though he was in possession of another sense.
Walking behind him I observed how he periodically stopped and touched the trees, his eyes scanning the area as if he were photographing it. He’d close his eyes and breathe in the air deeply, then hold his hand up, like he was touching any little molecule floating in the breeze. He still responded to sounds deep within the forest, a branch breaking or an animal scurrying. He’d look in the direction of the sound…or maybe it was the direction of the vibration, I couldn’t be sure. He was so in tune to his surroundings that at one time I found myself wondering if he really was deaf. I quickly pushed that thought out of my head realizing how ludicrous it was.
His reception of sounds left me totally confused, until I remembered my own connection to the forest and how it felt like I knew every inch of it when I had shifted. Maybe Bram had that ability outside of shifting.
After hiking for about twenty minutes we decided to stop. Kelleigh and Quinn were trying to get back to the spot where I’d shifted but were arguing about where that was. I felt like I could find the place myself but decided to let them figure it out.
Bram interrupted their bickering. “We’re close,” he said, leaning over to tie his shoe.
“Are you sure?” Kelleigh questioned, looking all around. “This doesn’t look familiar.”
Bram stood up and reached his hand out to me. “We’re close,” he said once more, ignoring her questions. He grabbed my hand as we made our way over a fallen pine, a small creek, and some huge boulders, finally stepping into the familiar clearing. Moments later, Quinn and Kelleigh joined us, still arguing.
I became oblivious to the sound of their voices and even to their presence. I immediately felt a sense of being at home as I stood in the center of the clearing, which seemed to be the very spot where I had experienced shapeshifting. Looking down at the ground I found myself transfixed on the patterns made by pieces of twig and pine needles and dirt. The ground had never appeared so alive to me before, almost map-like. I felt that if I studied the patterns enough I’d be able to find my way around the whole forest…just by examining the earth.
My eyes climbed the landscape from the ground to the tree-lined horizon to the sky overhead. The connection to this place was unmistakable, almost ancient. I began walking straight ahead and instinctively knew I was heading due north – a task unbelievable in its own right since I hadn’t been blessed with a sense of direction, up until that moment. In my mind’s eye I could see a small creek within a few feet and, sure enough, I discovered the very creek as I walked. A large rock formation would be another ten feet straight ahead, and just as I imagined, there it was. I felt invigorated, and more in control than I had ever felt in my life.
My head swam with the intensity of this place. Thoughts were no longer verbal but visual; images of various landmarks played across my mind. And they all were familiar to me, not only recognized, but known, memorized. I was completely capable of finding each landmark as soon as I viewed it. One after another flashed and I ran to it: a small cave hidden in a rock formation jutting out of the earth, a waterfall trickling down the side of a huge boulder and then feeding into a crystal pool, a lake surrounded by tall pines. Each place I knew and ran to, and quickly ran to the next. As I stood at the lake and stared across its rippling waters I felt the presence of my friends drawing near. I lowered my head to the ground to sip the cool water and caught sight of my own reflection. I was the wolf. I stared deep into my eyes reflecting back at me and saw my friend’s images dancing on the water. I quickly spun round, frightening Quinn and Kelleigh, who immediately stepped back. Bram stayed his ground and lowered himself to look into my eyes. My heightened senses began to relax as he lifted his hand and stroked the back of my neck. He spoke softly and in an ancient language. I closed my eyes and grew weak and blacked out.
When I woke up I was sitting in Bram’s car. He stood directly in front of the car along with Quinn and Kelleigh. They were having a heated discussion. My ears began to tune into the conversation and I made out Kelleigh’s excited voice urging Bram to allow me back into the forest. He refused, saying it wasn’t the right time and that they were lucky to have found me this time.
I opened the door and stepped out to join them. Three pairs of eyes instantly shot at me, studying me intently and making me really uncomfortable. “What’s going on?” I mumbled, still holding onto the door, feeling a little lightheaded.
Bram joined me and put his arm around my waist, “You feeling ok?”
“I’m fine, a little dizzy, but ok.”
“Willow, that was awesome!” shrilled Kelleigh as she raced over to hug me. Quinn drew closer with a gigantic smile on his face.
“You rock, Willow,” he bellowed, hands dancing for Bram’s benefit. “That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Ok, so I did shift then, huh?” I rubbed the back of my neck, easing the tension that had built up.
“Most definitely,” Kelleigh replied still holding onto me. “Don’t you remember?”
“Yeah, I remember, but it felt different this time.”
“How?” Kelleigh loosened her grip and turned to face me.
“It’s weird, I wasn’t even aware that I’d shifted. It felt completely natural. I still felt like me…only better, stronger. I became conscious of a connection to the forest and felt like I knew where everything was; that I could find my way around and knew what to look for. I was drawn to certain spots, not sure why though.” I felt Bram rub the back of my neck, much like he’d done while I was changed. I looked over to Quinn, “Did you sign that for him?”
“Aye,” Quinn answered, still communicating to Bram.
“This is incredible, Willow. I’m trying to convince Bram that you should go into the woods again. Obviously you need to discover something there, don’t you think?” Kelleigh’s cheeks were flaming red with excitement as she spoke.
“Yeah, I only wish I knew what that was.” I leaned back against the car.
“Kelleigh, be reasonable,” Bram began, “it’s dark, it’s cold, and we’re lucky we found her this time. There’s no telling what would happen if she got away from us.”
Kelleigh ignored Bram and kept urging me on to take another trip into the forest while Quinn and Bram started up their own conversation. Watching Bram I could see his expression grow dark and almost angry, his arms and hands flailing while he tried desperately to get his point across to Quinn. All the while Quinn remained calm but reserved, trying to convince Bram to see things his and Kelleigh’s way.
My eyes danced from Bram to Quinn then to Kelleigh and back again. All of them were adamant about what I should be doing…none of them even considering asking me what I thought. That realization stirred up a fire deep inside of me and before I knew it I was yelling.
“Just stop it, all of you! This is my decision, not yours, Kelleigh; or yours, Bram; or yours, Quinn,” my voice screeched with each name. “You act like I’m unable to decide what I should be doing! I’m the one going through this, not you.” After I said it I shot Bram a threatening glance, reminding him that I knew his secret and would spill it if he kept treating me like some kind of child. “I appreciate you all wanting to help me but I’m the one who needs to decide what to do next. And what I’m going to do next is to go back to the hotel, check in with my dad and think about what just happened. I’m sorry if this bothers any of you but that’s my decision.”
I watched Quinn interpret my fiery words to Bram, ready to meet his stare when he realized what I’d just said. A calm, almost serene look took over his face. He nodded slightly, reached into his pocket and pulled out his car keys, “Let’s go, then. Bye, you two.” He was in the car revving the engine while Quinn, Kelleigh and I looked on.
Kelleigh shrugged and pulled me in for a hug, “All right, Willow, as you wish; call me later though, ok?”
“I will, thanks, Kelleigh,” I whispered tightening our hug and then letting go.
Quinn stood in front of the car, signing to Bram. He threw a look my way; I guess in reference to whatever it was he was saying. Catching my stare he grinned and ended their conversation, then made his way over to me. “Way to speak up, lass,” he said, cocking his head to one side. With a punch on my arm he winked, then ran to catch up to Kelleigh.
The drive back to the hotel was as quiet as a church at midnight. Bram looked over at me a few times but I decided not to return his stare. I just needed to think. When we did arrive at the hotel, he turned off the ignition but remained in his seat, looking out the front window.
“I’m glad you wanted to come back and really, I’m not trying to control you or anything like that. It’s just that
I know how it feels… to shift, it can be frightening. I only wanted to help you through it as much as I could. Sorry if I came off like some kind of domineering oaf.” He kept looking out the window with the most serious expression I’d ever seen on his face. I felt bad for taking my frustrations out on him. I knew he only was trying to help.
I reached my hand over to his, still clutching the steering wheel, and stroked it softly. He looked my way, his dark eyes focused and intent. At that moment I could feel the depth of his caring, just by looking into his eyes. Words failed me, and even seemed unnecessary for those moments when our eyes were locked. If it weren’t for the vibration of my phone in my pocket, who knows how long we’d have sat there, lost in each other’s gaze. I looked down at the phone and quickly answered my father’s call.
“Hey Dad, everything ok?”
“Eh, just wondering when you thought you’d be back,” he answered, his voice sounding much farther away than the few feet that separated us.
“I’m here now, just thanking Bram for the ride.”
“Ok, see you when you get up here.”
“My dad,” I said to Bram then quickly shot him a text:
“I didn’t mean to get angry at you, sorry. There’s so much I wanted to talk to you about but with Quinn and Kelleigh there I didn’t think I better. I have tons of questions.”
“I know, that’s why I wanted to get you out of there. Do you have time now to come and meet Da?” Bram asked, holding onto my hand.
I shook my head no and texted, “Dad wondered when I’d be back. I’d better make sure he’s ok. I’ll text you when I find out how he is, ok?”
Bram smiled. “Sounds good.” He took both of my hands in his and then kissed the back of each one. He leaned in as if he were about to kiss me. I quickly turned and opened the door and slid out of the car. I stood there with the door still open. He sat back in the seat. The corners of his mouth turned down and his eyes narrowed.