“Of course,” she said.
That was his Kasey, the woman whose picture he’d carried all over the world, the one who’d birthed three children for him and who loved him even when his mind was gone. He could always depend on her and trust her with his whole heart.
“Have I told you how much I appreciate all you did while we were still in the army? Medals should be given to wives like you,” he said.
“I had a lot of support.” She smiled. “The other wives were there on base and we took care of each other. Sometimes I miss that.”
“So you’d like for us to be back in the military?”
“I’m not so sure.” She dipped a chip in the salsa and popped it into her mouth. “A ranch is an excellent place to raise kids, and military life isn’t nearly as stable, but we’ve got a year to make that decision.”
“You got recent pictures of the kids? I looked in my wallet and couldn’t find any, which is strange, because when we were in Afghanistan I had a whole string of them. The guys used to tease me about flipping them out so often.”
Her smile was so sweet when she locked gazes with him. “Nash, you’ve probably changed billfolds three times since those days. What do you remember about being over there in the sand pit as you guys called it?”
“Spoken like a true army wife. Anyone who hadn’t been close to someone who had to be there wouldn’t use that terminology. I remember the sand everywhere. In our socks. In our beds. In our hair and our ears. I couldn’t wait to get home to the bayou. Fish don’t grow in sand and I love to go fishin’. What I missed most was grass.”
She cocked her head to the side, and a strange expression crossed her face. “Grass, huh?”
“Yep. On that last mission we were there only a week, but the one before that when we deployed for six months, you were a genius when you sent that box of dirt from the yard and grass seed,” he told her.
“Well, you did say that you missed walking out across the yard in your bare feet.” A cold chill ran up her spine, because she’d sent that to Adam when he was deployed right after Emma was born.
“I let all the guys put their feet in the box of grass I cultivated. And I told them I had the smartest wife in the world.” He leaned across the table and kissed her on the cheek.
“Who were the guys on your team?” Kasey asked.
Nash wanted to answer, but no names would come to mind. “Nothing!” He touched his forehead. “Not a blessed thing.”
“Where was your team stationed?” she asked.
He frowned as he tried to remember and then his face lit up. “I know! We weren’t at the same base. When they needed us for a job, they usually flew us to a central location, and we left from there. It was cold the night we boarded the plane for the last mission I was on, so it might’ve been winter.”
A cold band of steel wrapped itself around Kasey’s heart. Adam had left on the mission that had gotten him killed in the winter. Could it be possible that Nash had worked with him or known him?
The waitress brought their food. “I’ll be back to refill your tea glasses in a few minutes.”
“Thank you. This looks and smells wonderful.” Kasey shot a long sideways glance at Nash. He couldn’t have been in the same unit as Adam. If he had been he would have told her when they had to sit out the dirt storm in the barn, and his name was different enough that if Adam had mentioned him, she would have remembered.
“Yes, it does.” Nash checked his watch. “What time do we need to be at the school?”
“Three fifteen, but we can go to Mama’s and get Silas and Emma before that. Then we can pick up Rustin and go straight to Hope Springs. They’re already dragging down the boxes of decoration, I’m sure. We’ll be putting up trees or having some kind of Christmas fun for the next couple of nights. That should put us all in the mood for the holidays,” she said.
“And then the church program. It’s going to be the best holiday ever,” he said.
The only thing that could make it better was if something would throw the switch in his brain and make everything right. Other than that, nothing could possibly go wrong with his world.
*
It was one thirty when they reached Prairie Rose, Kasey’s mother’s ranch. Nash shut his eyes tightly, pinched the bridge of his nose, and then let go and opened them in a flash. But he still didn’t recognize the place. He had to have been there dozens upon dozens of times when he and Kasey dated.
He tried to bring back the first time he met her. He had to have been visiting Uncle Henry and his great-grandmother. That was the only plausible explanation, since he’d lived on the opposite side of the state. But not a single thing came to mind.
He hoped that when they were inside he’d get a vision of something that would set off a jolt of electricity in his mind. Maybe they’d made out on the sofa or cuddled up and watched a movie. Or they must have slept in her bedroom when they came home for visits.
“Mama, Mama!” Emma rushed outside in her bare feet. She was the image of Kasey with curly red hair and gorgeous green eyes. She jumped from the porch into Kasey’s arms and immediately started to tattle.
“Silas has been all whiny-hiney and he won’t play dolls with me,” she said, pouting.
“Well, let’s go inside and talk to him about that. We can’t have a whiny-hiney boy on the day that we decorate Hope Springs, now can we?”
“Do we gots presents yet?” Emma cocked her head to the side and stared at Nash. “You came to Aunt Lila’s weddin’.”
“Yes, I did.” He flashed on the little redheaded girl dancing on Jace’s feet at the wedding. Kasey was sitting beside him in the loft and they were eating barbecue together.
He opened the door for Kasey, and Silas came out of the kitchen, slung himself around his mother’s knees, and pointed at Emma.
“Mean sissy,” he said.
His blond curls reached the collar of his little red flannel shirt and his crystal clear blue eyes looked right at Nash with no recognition. Cold chills dug deep into Nash’s spine. That child was the image of Adam McKay, one of his team members who hadn’t come home from that last mission—the very one who’d saved Nash’s life.
“Adam McKay,” he whispered.
Everything tumbled into place.
Kasey was Adam’s wife. He’d been the one with the string of pictures that he showed anyone who’d stand still and look at them. Nash felt his whole world evaporate in that single second.
“I’m so sorry, Kasey,” he whispered.
“For what?” She turned toward him.
“All of it.” He reached down, took the truck keys from her hand, and walked out. His first thought when he reached the ranch was to curl up on the sofa and sink down into the familiar black hole of depression, letting both the embarrassment of the past two days plus all the old memories of Adam and the team flood over him like icy cold water.
But he couldn’t let himself slip back into that mode of living, not when he’d known such happiness the past couple of days. He bypassed the house and went straight to the barn, where he grabbed a set of hay hooks and started restacking the small bales to make room for the tractor. It needed a tune-up before spring, and that would be his next job as soon as he cleaned out a spot for it.
The memories flashed through his mind so fast that he had trouble keeping up, so he didn’t even hear the barn door slide open. It wasn’t until Kasey was three feet from him and he felt her presence that he whipped around.
There she stood with Silas on one hip, Emma standing on one side, and Rustin on the other. “What do you mean, runnin’ away like that? We’ve got to put up decorations at Hope Springs this evening.”
“Good God, Kasey, I thought…I mean.” He jerked off his cowboy hat and raked his fingers through his dark hair. “You know what happened. You should be in here yelling at me and throwing a hissy, not fussin’ at me for leavin’ you.”
Emma crossed the distance between them and put her hand in Nash’s. “I like tall cowbo
ys. My uncle Brody and my uncle Jace are tall cowboys, and I like them, too.”
He stooped down to look at the tiny replica of Kasey. “I’m glad, Miz Emma.”
“Good, now let’s go put up our Christmas tree,” she said.
“She talks so plain,” he said.
“Always has. Don’t avoid the issue here,” Kasey said bluntly.
“And when we get done,” Rustin broke in, “Mama says that we get to come over here and stay for three whole weeks, and that we’re goin’ to help you put up a tree and I can help with chores. I can’t wait to work with sheep. I ain’t never got to be around them except for mutton ridin’ at the bull ridin’. Someday I’m goin’ to be a bull rider like my uncle Brody. Did you ever ride bulls, Nash?”
“No, I didn’t.” He stood up. “Kasey, a word?”
“Whatever you’ve got to say, just spit it out. I told that doctor I would drive you and stay with you until your next appointment, and a Dawson does not go back on her word. Jace and Brody have brought over some of the kids’ things so they’d feel at home. We are going to live in that house until the doctor clears you for everything. So suck it up, cowboy. You’re stuck with us. Now put down those hay hooks and get in the van. We’ve got a Christmas tree to decorate at Hope Springs.”
“It’s my house and…” He hesitated when Emma squeezed his hand.
“We want to have a ’venture in your house? My mama said we could.” She stuck out her lower lip in a pout.
“Yes, you can, sweet baby girl.” His stooped back down to her eye level, and his heart melted when her little chin quivered. “If you want to have an adventure, you’re welcome to stay at my house.”
“Okay, then.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Grandma said we can stay with you until Christmas. Santa will bring presents to your house. Do you gots a fireplace?”
“Well, then I guess we better not confuse Santa, and since I don’t have a fireplace, we’ll have to leave the front door open for him.” He looked up at Kasey. “No hard feelin’s about…well, you know?” He straightened up, hung the hooks on the wall, and removed his work gloves.
“Not a single one.”
“Is your brain all fixed now?” Rustin asked.
“It’s workin’ on it,” Nash said.
“Here, you can carry Silas to the van. He’s gettin’ heavy.” Kasey put the child in his arms.
Immediately the little guy laid his head on Nash’s shoulder and said, “Mean sissy.”
“What did he say?”
“He’s tattling on Emma. They’ve been at cross horns all day, according to Mama.”
Silas smelled like a little boy who’d been running and playing all day and it was pure heaven to Nash. “I’m surprised that he came right to me. I usually have to be around kids awhile.”
“My three never know a stranger. It scares me sometimes.” She started out of the barn toward her van. “I got to admit I was wonderin’ how in the devil I was going to explain to you that these three kids didn’t know you or call you Daddy, and explain to them why we were moving to Texas Star. I’m real glad that something jerked you back into the real world.”
“So what are we now, Kasey?” he asked as he put Silas into the car seat.
“We’re neighbors and hopefully friends by Christmas,” she said.
Chapter Seven
Wiping her hands on her apron, Hope came out of the kitchen when she heard the children and hugged Nash. “I hear things cleared up in your head. That’s a great sign. Welcome to Hope Springs. The guys have gone out to the tack room to get the tree and bring in all the decorations. Make yourself at home. We’ll have some soup and sandwiches soon as they all get back, and then we’ll put you busy helping.”
“Hey, somebody hold the door for us,” Jace called out from the back porch.
“I’ll do it if you’ll point me in the right direction,” Nash said.
Rustin grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the kitchen. “I’ll show you.”
“Your mama is not happy with you. She wanted you to come home as soon as he got his mind right. Says you can drive him but you can’t live there,” Hope whispered as soon as Nash was out of the area.
“I know, but I gave my word, and he’s not supposed to drive or be alone until the doctor checks him just before Christmas. What if he had a seizure or a relapse and couldn’t remember how to even dial my phone. You going to gripe at me, too?” Kasey asked.
“Nope,” Hope answered. “You’re a big girl. I trust you, and besides I’ve been talking to Nash’s grandmother this afternoon. She says this might be the very thing that cures him.”
“Of what?” A cold chill ran down Kasey’s backbone.
Hope threw up her hands. “Whatever the hell it is that ails him. That PSDD stuff.”
“PTSD. Post-traumatic stress disorder. Lots of veterans suffer from it. I don’t know that there is a cure,” Kasey said.
“Comin’ through,” Jace yelled.
Emma and Silas squealed and ran ahead of them into the living room.
Hope stepped into the hallway.
Kasey plastered herself to the wall, but Nash’s forearm still brushed against her as he helped carry in the long box holding the Christmas tree. The electricity that bounced around the room proved that there was still chemistry between them—even after he’d recovered all his memories.
They set the box on the floor and headed right back out.
“Nash is going with me to help get more stuff. Brody is on his way with a pickup load. I’m thinkin’ that we can get it all in one more trip,” Jace said as they went right back outside.
Nash waved but he didn’t smile. His dark eyes had a long way to go before they got back to that place of happiness and contentment he’d had before reality set in.
Lila pushed her way into the kitchen right after the guys left. Static made her dark hair fly out to the sides when she removed her stocking hat and coat. “I just got off the phone with Valerie. Kasey, you are at the top of Santa’s naughty list.”
“Yep, but she’ll get over it.” Kasey hung her jacket up and went to the living room to make sure the kids’ coats weren’t thrown on the floor. “Nash needs someone to look after him until Christmas.”
“I agree with Kasey.” Hope headed back toward the kitchen. “You girls can come in here and help me get things on the table. The soup is ready, we just need to get the meat and cheese platter fixed up. I hear tires crunching on the gravel. That’s either Brody bringin’ in more boxes or Valerie arriving with a head of steam and a bushel of advice.”
“Neither your mama nor Brody thinks what you’re doing is smart,” Lila said.
“Brody?” Kasey frowned.
Hope handed her a platter and pointed toward several packages of cold cuts. “Take this to the table. You’ve got to remember, you were only fourteen when your dad passed away, Kasey. Brody thought he had to be your father as well as your big brother. Don’t matter how old you get, he probably won’t ever change, so keep in mind that he’s protecting you.”
“I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself,” Kasey said.
“Evidently not.” Valerie caught the sentence as she made her way to the kitchen. “I brought a platter of pimento cheese sandwiches. And I’m going on record as sayin’ this is not a good idea now that Nash is okay.”
“But it was fine when he thought I was his wife and wanted to kiss me about fifty times a day?” Kasey argued.
Valerie whipped around. Her eyes bugged out like a cartoon character, and her head tilted off to the right. Kasey hadn’t seen that expression in years, not since she was a teenager and came home late for curfew with beer on her breath.
Hope stepped between them with her arms outstretched like a referee in a boxing ring. “We’re all going to have to agree to disagree. Cut your daughter some slack, Valerie. She’s a responsible adult, and we’re all close by if she needs us.”
“What did you do when he kissed you?” Valerie asked.
“I kissed him back,” Kasey said.
“You don’t know that man. He could be…”
Hope held up a hand. “No, he isn’t. I’ve been talkin’ to his grandmother and I know a little about Nash and he’s not a bad person. Stuff happened to him in the army—things he can’t talk about and other things he won’t talk about, but he’s a good man.”
“Just because you were friends with her brother and his mama was your neighbor, don’t mean anything. And Adelaide isn’t going to say anything bad about him. He’s her grandson, for God’s sake.” Valerie was barely keeping her voice below a bellow.
“Trust me.” Hope smiled. “I know that Nash is a good person.”
Emma ran into the room with Silas right behind her. “Rustin says I’m too little, but how come he gets to help Mr. Nash?”
Silas pursed his lips together. “Me helps, too.”
Emma’s hands went to her hips in a stance that looked exactly like her mother. “Mama?”
“Yes, you can both help.” Kasey relaxed.
“Cookies?” Silas beamed when he noticed the food table.
“Desserts are at Grandma’s house,” Kasey told him and then hugged Valerie. “He’s our neighbor and I told the doctor that I’d be there until he can drive. That’s the way it is, Mama.”
Rustin strutted into the room, full of oldest child authority. “I’m hungry. Where’s the cookies that Emma said y’all made?”
“At my house. Work and real food first. Cookies later,” Valerie told him.
“Aww, shucks. I wanted one of them cookies with the icin’ on it.” He kicked at imaginary dirt with his boots. “Nash said he likes cookies, too.”
“He’s my cowboy. I got him first,” Emma argued.
“Mine!” Silas said loudly.
“He can be a friend to you all. Rustin, you take this bowl of chips to the dining room table. Emma, you can carry these napkins, and Silas, you can show Brody where to sit the boxes that he’s bringing in the back door in about…right now,” Hope said.
Long, Tall Cowboy Christmas (Happy, Texas Book 2) Page 9