by Hunter Rose
If nothing else, we did look cute and raked in a huge haul of candy. It took battling our way through one too many prom night jokes that in retrospect, were wildly inappropriate for adults to say to us, but we didn’t know at the time. Looking back at that picture, it feels like that moment started a chain of events that all led up to today. Even then, our parents looked at us and saw a unit. They saw a future where we would go to our senior prom together, graduate alongside each other, and head out into the world, still as a unit.
I stand at the top of the stairs and look down to where Isaiah stands in his tux, waiting for me. His tie and pocket square perfectly match the soft pink of my dress. In his hands, he holds a corsage of pink rosebuds.
I wish this moment could last. I wish I could crystallize it, keeping it exactly as it is. I know the second I start down the stairs; time is going to start rushing by again. More changes, more decisions, more… everything. But right now is perfect. He gazes at me with tenderness in his eye, and I can’t help but smile back. The last couple of weeks since we got back together has felt at the same time new and exactly as it’s always been.
Things are slightly shaky, a little tenuous with every word we say and action we make. As if both of us are wondering which one is going to be the one that sets off another explosion between us. Even with that tension and hesitation, I wonder if arguing the way we did and even our breakup was one of the best things that ever could happen to us. Just breaking up with him took so much. It was like tearing a piece of my life away from the rest of it and having to decide if I could live with what was left.
It left me feeling like I was sitting out on a limb completely by myself, aimless and unsure. By the time he came to me to apologize again, I’d had enough. Having him back in my life feels settled. These are the moments of my senior year I’m supposed to be having. My mother’s camera clicks frantically as I take that first step and head down to my prom date.
“When is the limo with the others supposed to get here?” my father asks.
The question is no more out of his mouth, and we hear a horn beeping outside. I smile at him.
“Right about now,” I tell him.
He grins and comes up to give me a hug. “You look beautiful tonight, honey. Have a wonderful time.”
“Thank you, Daddy.” I will.
I take Isaiah’s arm, and we make our grand exit out onto the porch. The limo sits in front of the house, the back door opens, and Samantha and Angela standing right outside. I glance up at Isaiah, and he knows what I’m thinking.
“I invited her to come with us,” he explains. “The two of you have been friends for much too long to let something petty come between you and take away the memories of senior prom together. I know you haven’t really been talking much in the last few months, but I really think you would regret it if you didn’t bury the hatchet, at least for tonight.”
I nod and smile at him. “You’re right.”
We start to walk down off the porch when another figure climbs out of the back of the limo. I stop, feeling caught by the sapphire blue stare. He looks impossibly gorgeous in his sleek black tux, reminding me of the night he came over for dinner and made me tremble with just the feeling of his breath running along the side of my neck.
Isaiah shifts his arm, so he takes my hand, intertwining our fingers.
“I had no idea he was coming,” he tells me. “We can go in my car.”
I look up at him and smile, shaking my head.
“No,” I say. “I don’t want to go in your car. This is senior prom, and I want to go in a limo with my friends.” I tug him down for a quick kiss. “And my boyfriend. It doesn’t matter. I promise. In fact, I hope the two of them are very happy. I know I am.”
“Really?” he asks.
I squeeze his hand. “Really.”
That’s still what I’m telling myself after spending the evening stealing glances at him across the table at the restaurant and then sitting in the back of the limo, extremely aware of his leg touching mine. Even though we’re positioned on benches at an angle from one another, everyone’s legs mingle in the middle of the surprisingly tight space, and I can feel his occasionally press into mine. I refuse to make eye contact with him. I won’t acknowledge the feeling or press back. But I know he’s there.
It’s still what I’m telling myself as Isaiah holds me in his arms and dances with me in a glittering spotlight after we are declared king and queen of the prom. I stare into his eyes, reminding myself how many years of my life I’ve spent with him as my boyfriend. It’s part of my identity. Part of everything I know about myself. It took time to figure that out, but it’s how I feel safe. I’ve never been one to take risks or close my eyes and toss myself into anything. Isaiah keeps me grounded.
The night drags on, and the dance hall becomes stuffy and hot. We’ve been dancing non-stop for over an hour, and I need a minute to catch my breath. Isaiah leans down and kisses me on my cheek, promising to stay in the same area so I can find him when I get back. I walk out of the ballroom and into the hotel lobby.
It feels so glamorous to be here for our prom. Usually, dances are just held in the gym at the high school, but prom takes everyone to the next town over and a hotel with a dramatic ballroom and cavernous, marble detailed lobby. It’s the closest thing to feeling elegant and sophisticated as I ever have. But my shoes are making my feet ache, and sweating makes my dress feel sticky and uncomfortable.
I step behind one of the marble pillars and lean against it to let the cool stone bring down the heat on my face.
“Good evening, Your Majesty.”
The voice immediately brings the heat back. I don’t want to turn around. If I turn around, I have to look at him. I have to see his eyes and look at his lips. I have to remember the way he’s been holding Samantha and dancing all night. But I can’t just stand here. There’s no reason to. I can’t avoid him forever, and now is as good a time as any to make the first break. I turn around and face Talon.
“I thought you don’t do dates,” I say. I can’t believe that’s the first thing that comes out of my mouth, but I refuse to let myself cringe. His lips twitch in a smile.
“This isn’t really a date,” he points out.
“It’s prom. It’s the biggest date of high school,” I shoot back.
“It’s just a dance. I’m here because my aunt wanted to make sure I got the most out of my senior year, and according to her, that includes going to prom. Besides, Samantha asked me. It would have been rude to turn her down,” he says.
“I’m surprised she’s speaking to you,” I say.
“She apologized. I figured she’s as good a person as I need to come with tonight. You probably understand exactly how that feels.”
Familiar tension rolls through my body. I draw in a breath and let it out slowly.
“I didn’t settle by coming with Isaiah, if that’s what you mean,” I say.
“Of course you didn’t,” he says.
“Don’t do that,” I say. “Don’t mock me.”
He steps up closer to me. I move around to the other side of the pillar, concealing us from anyone who might walk into the lobby.
“What are you doing here with him?” he asks.
“Going to my senior prom,” I tell him.
“Now you’re the one mocking,” he says.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Talon.”
“Tell me why you got back with him.”
“It’s just what’s right for me. I have to accept that. He’s good to me. He loves me and was willing to forgive me.”
“He didn’t have any room to forgive you for anything.”
I squeeze my eyes closed, trying to keep my emotions under control.
“He and I are very similar people. The life I’ve always envisioned is the same one he does. College, marriage, home, family, a career. All those things I’ve been looking forward to and preparing for my whole life. He sees the same.”
“You’re ju
st afraid. You’re afraid to try anything new or take a single risk, even if it could be the best thing you ever did. But you’re not fooling anyone. You can smile and hold his hand, wear your fucking crowns, but it doesn’t change anything. You can’t pretend you aren’t thinking about me,” he says.
My breath shakes. “I’m not.”
Talon leans forward and brushes a kiss to the center of my chest.
“Yes, you are. You always will.”
25
Wren
First semester…
“Is this right? This doesn’t look right. Are you sure it’s right?”
My mother has been frantically checking to make sure we’re going in the right direction ever since we arrived on campus. The fact that my acceptance letter came with a map and we were here not a month ago for orientation, during which I got a further detailed map with a big old star on my dorm, doesn’t seem to provide any comfort. She’s absolutely confident I’m going to get lost in the city, and she’s never going to hear from me again. It’s supposed to be my parents setting me off on my own as I start college, reassuring me I can do this, and I have the skills and emotional stability to handle everything to come.
Not so much.
Instead, I’m the one trying to keep them calm and let them know I won’t end up on a statistic they’ve been frantically studying all summer. I don’t know what happened to them. They were always so calm and put together. But as soon as it sank in that I was moving out of the house and starting college, that all went out the window. Suddenly the reality of me growing up, at least a little, sent them into panic mode. They suddenly began trying to stuff as much of nurturing and wholesome family time together into every second of the day as they possibly could. That meant my summer after senior year of high school was largely spent on family road trips and a rotating schedule of family movie nights, game nights, and outings.
We’ve always been a family who spends a lot of time together and enjoy our activities, but this got to a touch extreme. I think I’ve played more games of Monopoly in the last three months than I have in my entire eighteen years of living combined. All those family experiences have become a little more interesting, though, now that Uncle Anthony is officially dating Bree. Not that anyone didn’t know that was coming. They’ve been enamored with each other since the first night they met. The relationship announcement just made things official.
Whenever she comes over, we go about whatever we’re doing like there’s nothing hanging over our heads. They act like I never knew Talon like he hasn’t been gone from my life since prom night. That’s how I prefer it. The last time I saw him, he was walking toward the elevator in the hotel, Samantha wriggling along behind him. He didn’t show up for the last week of school and didn’t walk for graduation. As far as I’m concerned, I never did know him.
“Is this the right building? It doesn’t look like the right building. Can you see the sign on it?” Mom asks.
“Mom, it’s the same building it was when we came for orientation. The sign is in the same place as it was then.” I point up toward the name of the dorm carved into the stone along the side of the building. “I promise we are doing the right thing. You aren’t just going to drop me off somewhere and abandon me like a baby in a basket.”
“I feel like that’s what I’m doing,” she says with a sniffle.
“She’s eighteen years old. Almost nineteen. She’s not a baby. And we’re bringing her to college, not tossing her out on the streets,” my father says, acting for all the world like he hasn’t been crying every night for the last week as we packed and repacked my stuff to bring to move-in today.
I might tease them, but in all honesty, I appreciate him being strong. If he wasn’t, I might not be as steady as I am now. I’m excited. This is the day I’ve been looking forward to for so long. But it’s also so strange, so completely out of the realm of everything I’ve ever known. It’s the biggest risk I’ve ever taken, and every second makes it more real.
“And you’re sure about this? You’re sure this is the school you want to go to?” Mom asks. “It’s just so far away, and you’ve never lived in a city.”
“I think it’s a little late to change schools now,” I tell her. “My name is already on professors’ rosters. You wouldn’t want to disappoint them on the first day of classes, would you?”
She laughs and gives me a playful nudge. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I know,” I tell her with a grin. “But honestly, Mom. I’m going to be fine. It’s going to be wonderful. It’s going to be all the things I need to say that will help you not be worried about me.”
“Well, that’s not going to happen,” she says. “But I trust you. I know you can do this.”
“And it’s really not that far away. Just a couple of hours,” I reassure her.
“You could come home on the weekends,” Dad suggests.
Now it’s my mother’s turn to be the steady one. She rubs his back. “Or she can be a college student.”
“Or that.”
We walk into the building, and I give the guy at the sign-in desk my name. He hands me a key to my room and a series of directions for how to get there. Considering the rooms are numbered with the floor number first, followed by the order where the room is along the hallway, I’m confident we could have figured it out. But I thank him and drag my suitcase behind me to the elevator. Mom and Dad follow me with the rest of the first round of my luggage, and I juggle the duffel over my shoulder so I can press the up button.
“Look at me. First elevator ride as a college student,” I say over my shoulder.
“You’re so grown up.”
The voice sends a shiver along my spine. I turn around slowly and see him.
Black hair.
Blue eyes.
Leather jacket, safety pins.
He’s standing in the elevator, staring back at me.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
Talon looks at me without answering until the door starts to close. His hand stops it with a sudden sharp movement, pushing it back open so he can walk out of the elevator and leave the dorm.
I walk up to my room with the chill of the encounter with Talon still on the back of my neck. My parents haven’t said anything, and I don’t intend on starting that conversation. I don’t know if they were ever able to tell of something going on between us. If something was going on between us. But no matter how they feel about it, I’d rather leave it alone. That’s something I need to handle by myself.
We walk into my room and find my new roommate already there. She turns a bright smile to us.
“Hi! My name is Christina. You must be Wren.”
I nod. “Yes. These are my parents.”
“It’s nice to meet you. Is there anything I can do to help you move in?”
At least I seem to be off to a good start with my roommate. That’s encouraging, considering we’ll be sharing a room barely bigger than a hotel room for the foreseeable future. We make three more trips to carry in everything, and I walk outside to say my final goodbyes. I don’t want it to be drawn out. It’s not like I won’t see them again anytime soon. I hug each, accept kisses, and wave as they climb into the car and head back home. When I turn around, Talon is sitting in one of the wrought iron chairs on the patio in front of the dorm.
I consider walking right past him and going inside, but that won’t solve anything. He tilts his head slightly to the side as I walk up to him. My arms cross over my chest, and I wait for an explanation. But he says nothing.
“What are you doing here?” I ask again.
“I’m assuming the same thing you are. Starting college.”
“Here?” I ask, incredulously. “This is where you decided to come to school?”
“Why do you find that so difficult to believe? It was the school you chose, too.”
“And your family has all the money in the world. You could go anywhere. Why would you choose this school?”
“If you
’re implying something, I didn’t even know you were coming here. If you fail to remember properly, you never told me what schools you were accepted into or which one you chose. We never got around to knowing each other that well. I came here because I wanted to. The school has an amazing history department, and the significance of the city is too much to pass up,” Talon explains.
“And what are you doing at the dorm? You’re not living here, are you?”
“No. You’re off the hook on that. I have an apartment off-campus. I’m just here visiting a friend,” he says.
“Wren?”
Talon looks over my shoulder and rolls his eyes so hard he’s at risk of toppling out of the chair.
“You have got to be kidding me,” he mutters as Isaiah walks up beside me. “Your master is here.”
“What’s going on here?” Isaiah asks.
I reach down and take his hand. “Nothing. Apparently, Talon goes here, too.”
“What happened to Harvard, Isaiah?” he asks. “Couldn’t stand not being able to keep Wren under your thumb for that long?”
“Don’t start, Talon,” I warn.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I decided to switch schools and come here for at least the first year so I can be close to Wren. We talked about it and decided I can do my general education courses anywhere. So, I’ll study here until it’s time to take my more advanced classes. It’s called a compromise,” Isaiah says.
“It’s called manipulation,” Talon fires back.
“Come on,” I say to Isaiah. “I’m hungry. Let’s get something to eat.”
“See you around campus,” Talon calls after us.