by Abby Tyson
"We've been searching for you, veru malar," she said, her voice scarcely louder than the sounds of the forest. She looked down at Rudy and put a hand on his shoulder. He met her gaze, and though neither said anything, he nodded. Walking to the base of a gigantic tree close to the boulder, he began undressing.
"What are you doing?" Savi called after him.
"Getting the young'n," he said, pulling his undershirt off. He started unbuckling his belt.
Naked?
At the sight of Rudy taking off his shorts, Savi riveted her eye on the proud face of the woman standing before her and asked, "Who are you?"
The woman bowed her head slightly, touched the back of her fingers to her forehead, and said, "Tumo."
Tumo continued to hold the pose, and Savi realized she was expected to reciprocate. Copying the gesture, she said, "Savannah."
Movement behind Tumo caught her attention, and before she could stop herself, she glanced at Rudy. A fraction of a second later she remembered she wasn't supposed to be looking there and started to cover her eyes, but she did a double take when she saw that the figure climbing up the tree wasn't Rudy, it was a bear.
Despite the tree having no branches that far down, the huge black bear was making its way easily up the trunk, practically running on its four legs up the vertical floor. The bear climbed all the way to a point just above the boulder, then the black shape seemed to shrink. When the figure jumped from the tree to the top of the rock beside Nissa, it was unmistakably human.
"The bear," Savi murmured, thinking of the bear that had chased Amber. "But --" She looked back at Tumo. "What are you?"
The old woman cocked her head a bit to the side, a stiff, quick motion that reminded Savi of the animal she had been. "The child hasn't told you?"
"No," Savi said.
"We are what she was," said Tumo, gesturing toward Nissa, who was now climbing precariously onto Rudy's back.
"Torra?" asked Savi, bewildered. "I thought they were wolves."
"Now you know otherwise," Tumo said gently.
Savi watched Rudy leap back onto the tree, which shivered and rocked from his weight. Once again the shadow changed, growing and darkening, until Nissa was a pale strip on the bear's back.
"She won't join you," Nissa called as they reached the ground. She slid off the bear and ran to them. "You must help me first."
"What do you mean, join them?" Savi asked. "Become an origin?"
"That is not what she means," Tumo said. Addressing Nissa, she said, "I was unable to help you when you were one of us. Nothing has changed, save you."
"Even if it means giving up the veru malar?" Nissa sounded older, her voice grave, in imitation of Tumo's steady, omniscient tone.
The owl-woman's slim eyes fell back on Savi. "You act only upon the child's orders?"
"What? No."
"She won't help you unless you help me," said Nissa, struggling to maintain her cool demeanor.
"Is this true?" asked Tumo.
"What are you talking about?" Savi cried. "Help you do what?"
"Does it matter?" Tumo answered.
"What kind of a question is that?" scoffed Savi. "Am I helping you make a sandwich? Climb Mount Everest? Of course it matters."
Rudy -- human, and fully dressed -- joined them, standing slightly behind Tumo, and wincing at Savi's irreverence.
"There is an emptiness in the world that only you can fill," Tumo said, her voice calm and soft. "We've cleared most of the path for you, but only you can find its end."
"They need the veru malar," Nissa explained, "to resurrect Anwi."
"Anwi? As in Anwi's Eye?" Savi asked. "The moon goddess, Anwi?"
"There are six --" Nissa started.
"Enough," Tumo said, raising her hand to stop Nissa. "She knows the aim, and will know more if she joins us. Restoring Anwi will restore the world's balance, but only the veru malar can do it."
"Is it dangerous?" asked Savi.
"An unbalanced world is inherently dangerous."
"Will you do it?" Rudy asked, taking a small step forward.
"She'll only help you if you help me rescue Karis," said Nissa. "Right, Savi?"
Savi could hear the plea in her tone, and the instinct to wipe the fear from that child's voice was strong. But Nissa wasn't a regular child. She'd already lived longer than Savi's grandparents had. Besides, it was obvious that this was why Nissa had wanted her to come -- to use her as leverage with these people, and Savi resented being used like that.
She thought about what Tumo had said. Did she believe it? Resurrecting a goddess sounded as crazy as... well... people who could shift into animals. Even though her sense of rationality fought against it, Savi had to admit that she had no right to doubt what this owl-woman said was possible. In which case, was she willing to risk her life to bring balance to the world? What did that even mean? Did she have a right to say no, if she was the only one who could do it?
Back at the barn, Marcia had said Savi was special, too. She'd said fate brought Savi to the Alters, and that she was the only one who could help them reach their goal of restoring humanity's relationship with nature. Of course, Marcia had been a murderous zealot, but what did Savi really know about these torra anyway? Was Tumo willing to kill to achieve what she thought was the best outcome? Who gave her the right to decide the fate of the world anyway?
A sense of frustration arose as she thought of all the people trying to pull her onto their path: Nissa, using her as bait for the torra; Tumo, forcing the weight of the world on her shoulders; and, if she was honest, Marley, pushing her into a serious relationship.
Find your own path.
The police officer's words from the previous day echoed in her ears, giving her the strength to speak her true feelings.
"I'm sorry, Nissa," she said, "but I'm not here to save the world, or your soulmate, and I'm too screwed up to be the only answer to the world's problems anyway. I've barely lived my own life, and I need to figure out how to do that without other people dictating what I should do and where I should go. So... no, I won't help you."
Nissa let out a pained cry and ran back to the rock, banging her fists against it. Tumo said nothing, her solemn eyes and slight frown the only indications of her disappointment. But it was Rudy -- kind, comforting Rudy -- with his drooped shoulders and lowered head, that filled Savi with guilt. There was no judgment coming from him, only sadness.
"Her mother is in Tallahassee," Nissa shouted between wet sniffles. "She's veru --"
"You leave my mom out of this!" Savi cried. "She's had a hard enough life already. She is not getting dragged deeper into this crazy, dangerous world!"
"She's a stupid human," Nissa pleaded, running up to Tumo and falling to her knees. "She'll change her mind. Please help me bring back my soulmate, please!" Racked with sobs, Nissa put her head by Tumo's feet. "I need her! I have nothing left -- only her!"
Pity stabbed Savi's heart. Was she being selfish?
Tumo's voice rose above Nissa's cries. "You and Karis made the choice to leave your nest, though you knew the consequences. You have no one to blame but yourselves for what you've become."
"It was a mistake!" sobbed Nissa. "A mistake for which I've paid the ultimate price. I've already lost half of my body. Must I be forever without half of my soul as well?"
Tumo gestured to the child at her feet. "Does this sway you?" she asked Savi.
Savi's heart ached for Nissa, but what would Berto do to her mom and Dave if he found out she was the reason his torra was taken? She was already taking a big risk by even being on this road trip. She couldn't put her mom in further danger.
"I'm sorry, Nissa," said Savi. "I can't."
Nissa moaned, curling into the fetal position.
"I cannot force the veru malar to fulfill her destiny. However, more than a single child's happiness depends on your decision." Though Tumo's voice was still soft, the gentleness and patience that had been present were gone.
Tumo turned to Rud
y, who dropped to one knee. She lifted her hands, but instead of placing her fingers to her own forehead, she brought them to Rudy's. He did the same to her, then they both stepped away from each other.
With her back to them, she said, "You will always be welcome here, veru malar." Then she crouched close to the ground, her body shrinking as silently as it had grown. Within moments, an owl was flapping its wings and taking to the sky.
Rudy stood, and Savi wondered how he would act towards her. Would he turn cold like Tumo had?
"What now?" she asked.
Keeping his eyes on Nissa, who was crying into her hands, Rudy said, "Time to go." He sounded tired, his voice flat. Nissa refused to move, so he lifted her and began walking back to the boat. Savi picked up the flashlight and followed, yearning for Rudy's comforting kindness, his understanding, but knowing she'd probably never be on the receiving end of that warmth again.
The walk was interminable. It hadn't possibly been this long before, had it? Savi could hardly keep her eyes open, the past 24 hours catching up with her. She stumbled over roots, nearly lost her sandals in patches of wet mud she didn't see, dropped the flashlight multiple times, and even walked into Rudy when he came to an abrupt halt.
"What's the matter?" she asked groggily.
"My boat's on fire," he said.
Savi peered in the same direction Rudy was looking. She thought she saw a pale orange glow, but they were too far to be sure she wasn't imagining it. The only cause her exhausted brain could come up with was, "Lightning?"
"Doubt it."
Savi tried to think of another explanation. Fire... lighter... Her hand went to her hair, now shorter on one side.
"Amber," she whispered. "I thought you apprehended her."
"Yup," he said.
Rudy tried to hand Nissa, now asleep, to Savi, but she stepped back, saying, "I can barely hold myself up."
He looked to the woods, and a black shape that Savi had taken for a bush started moving towards them. Savi cried out, but Rudy put a comforting hand on her back and said, "Keep quiet and don't move. She knows you're a friend, but if you startle her, instinct can take over. She's more likely to run than attack, but neither will help us right now."
The bear lumbered up to Rudy and sniffed Nissa's sleeping body. Then it turned to Savi and stood erect. Staring at its thick, furry neck, Savi forced herself to stay motionless. The bear hunched over and brought its nose right up to hers. Its hot breath misted and condensed on her face, but Savi kept her hands at her sides, petrified of scaring the enormous animal.
Once the bear had its fill of her scent, it fell back to its feet and plopped on the ground, flat on its stomach. Careful not to wake her, Rudy gently placed Nissa face down on the bear's back, quickly removing his button-down shirt and slipping her tiny arms through the sleeves.
"Stay here," he said, and ran towards the water before Savi could say anything.
Nissa looked so cozy on her bear bed, that Savi wished she could curl up beside her in the soft fur. Fairly certain the bear wouldn't interpret that kindly, she instead moved -- as quietly and slowly as her weary body could -- to a nearby tree and sat against it.
The next thing Savi knew, Rudy was kneeling in front her, whispering her name.
"Amber wasn't there," he said. "I had to sink my boat so it wouldn't set the whole marsh on fire. We'll sleep in the woods tonight. I'll call for a boat first thing tomorrow."
"Sleep in the woods?" Savi whined.
Rudy hushed her, and she remembered Nissa, and the bear, though there was no sign of either on the ground where they had been. "Where's Nissa?"
A sour stench reached her nose. Savi grimaced. "Why do I smell fish?"
"I'm hungry," he said, shying from her reaction. "I don't have more cereal bars, so I thought..."
Savi rubbed her eyes, trying to keep them open. "I'm sorry, Rudy. I'm really tired -- too tired to even think of eating."
He nodded. "Nissa and Way -- the bear -- they're on their way to a den. I can take you to another one. They're more comfortable than you think."
Eyeing the moss and grass around her, she said, "I might regret it in the morning, but I'll sleep here. There's no way I can walk anymore tonight." She started to make a space for herself on the ground.
"Will I be hollowed if I touch you?" he asked.
"What? No." Savi instantly regretted snapping at him. "Sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that." She rubbed her eyes again and met his worried gaze. "You'll only be unaltered if you bite me."
"I heard the veru malar hollows by touching."
"I've touched werewolves and coywolves, and the only one who unaltered was the werewolf that bit me."
"Coywolves?"
Savi's heart stopped. "I meant werewolves... I don't know what I'm saying," she cried, hiding her face and falling onto her bed of grass. "I'm so tired."
At the jingling of his belt buckle, Savi ventured a peek through her fingers. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"After I alter, can you pick up my clothes? I'll get the fish."
"Can't we stay here?" she asked. "I'm telling you, I'll pass out if I walk anymore."
"I'll do the walking," he said.
"What do you mean?" Her brain was trying hard to shut down. The deep grunts of a bear were her only answer.
Rudy picked up the fish in his mouth, then turned and shoved his clothes toward her with his paw. With a long moan, Savi rolled herself up and gathered his clothing, tucking everything into one of the legs of his shorts. On all fours, the bear bumped against her hip with its side, then lay on its stomach as the first bear had.
Finally Savi understood what Rudy had been suggesting. Taking hold of his shoulders, she put her leg over the bear's broad back and pulled herself up. Her hands disappeared in the long, soft, and miraculously dry fur. Using his bundle of clothes as a pillow, she did what she'd been yearning to do since he'd given Nissa to the other bear: she lay forward, closed her eyes, and let go of the day.
Rudy began walking through the woods. The movement was smooth and gentle, and Savi barely managed to get out a whispered, "Thank you," before being rocked to sleep.
Chapter Sixteen
Savi awoke the next morning in a hole under a tree. As she dredged up a vague recollection of being placed there, she heard Rudy calling to her. She looked up to see him crouching beside the wide den opening, telling her their boat was on its way. Crawling out of her surprisingly dry and soft burrow, she stretched the ache from her neck and legs, and began following Rudy to the den where Nissa had spent the night.
"Why did you bring me to the rock last night?" Savi asked on the way. "Did Nissa tell you I was the hollow one?"
Rudy was walking in front of her, and she had to lean in to understand his mumbled reply. "No. Not exactly. Not really, no."
"What does that mean?" she asked with a laugh.
He scratched the back of his head. It was an odd, stiff movement that used his whole arm -- more like how a dog or cat scratches an itch, but it made Savi smile.
"At the center she told me she had what we need. I asked her if it was you, and she said no."
"But you knew she was lying?"
"Yup." Rudy held some thorny branches out of her way. "That's when I told her I couldn't take her to the Crown, but I wouldn't stop her from going neither."
Wincing internally at his bad grammar, Savi walked through the path he'd cleared. "Why couldn't you take her there?"
"Humans ain't supposed to go there," he said, retaking the lead.
"Even though Nissa used to be torra?"
"That's the rule," he said, though he didn't sound all that convinced himself.
"So is Tumo your leader?" asked Savi.
"She's the oldest in the wise."
"Wise?"
Rudy scratched his head again. "Our group of leaders."
"For all torra?"
"Yup."
"How many different kinds of torra are there?" asked Savi.
Using both ha
nds this time, Rudy scratched the back of his head for several seconds before saying, "People ain't supposed to know about us. I think you can only know more if you help. You know too much already."
His voice was tight and thin, as if he were out of breath, but if Savi wasn't worn out from their walk, there was no way Rudy could be. She realized she was making him uncomfortable by asking questions he wasn't supposed to answer. He seemed like he wanted to tell her, and maybe he would if she pried, but Savi let it go, unwilling to be further trouble for him.
The woods were far more welcoming in the morning than they had been at night. Wide bands of orange sun shone between the trees, their warmth only hinting at the oppressive heat that was yet to come. Birds hopped and dove among the branches, singing songs that were foreign, but charming nonetheless. Without the dulling blanket of night, the intricate web of tree roots that rose out of the wet ground was impressive and fascinating, rather than an omnipresent trip hazard. In the daytime, Savi could also now see the beauty of the marsh. While New England plants were shedding their color in preparation for winter, there was no evidence of that here. Swallowtail butterflies flitted among purple, yellow, and orange flowers that broke up the incessant greens and browns of the wetland landscape. There were also berries dangling from the trees, pops of red, white, and even bunches of pinkish purple berries that Savi had never seen before.
The black bear stood guard outside the den where Nissa was sleeping. Rudy gave the bear's back a good long scratch before sending it on its way, then he softly coaxed Nissa awake. As soon as she saw Savi, Nissa turned her back and wouldn't acknowledge her, blatantly ignoring Savi's attempts to smooth things over.
They all walked back to the water, the trek taking longer than it should have due to Nissa's small and slow gait. Nissa refused to let Rudy carry her again, and, despite Rudy's assurances, Savi worried the boat wouldn't wait for them. When she did finally see the motorboat labeled "USFWS-2," Savi raised her arms and let out a cry of joy, earning a wordless shoulder check from behind, courtesy of Nissa.