by Abby Tyson
Once again he held back, pulling away enough to meet her gaze. She could see the question in his eyes, but before he could ask, she pulled his mouth hungrily back onto hers. If he didn't ask, she wouldn't have to answer.
Marley's hand, unexpectedly on her ankle, made her jump. His tongue massaged hers as his hand slipped beneath her skirt, gliding up past her knee.
A small voice whispered that this wasn't what Dave had been talking about, that getting close to someone didn't have to mean this, but she did her best to ignore it.
This is what I'm supposed to do. I should want to do this. Normal teenage girls want to do this.
Besides, who was she to say no to a guy as perfect as Marley?
The sound of his zipper was like an alarm going off. It rang in her ears, silencing everything else, even the ongoing argument in her head. Savi's body stiffened, the faint noise echoing across the room, across her memory to that night senior year. When his hand reached her thigh, she clapped her own hand over it, seizing his wrist through her dress that suddenly felt far too thin.
"It's okay," he whispered, brushing his lips against hers. "You're okay."
"I know, I --"
He cut her off with a kiss, his hand sliding almost between her thighs.
Panic welled up inside of her. Shaking her head, she freed her lips and pushed at his unyielding hand. "Marley, I don't --"
"Relax," he said, his lips on her ear. "Stop thinking, just feel."
"I don't..." She gasped for air as her body trembled with more fear than desire. She raised her voice, as much for her own benefit as for Marley's. "But I don't think I want to."
"Don't be afraid of me," he said, nibbling on her collarbone and bringing a hand up to her chest.
His body, which had been so warm and tantalizing above her moments ago, now felt like an immovable slab of stone, trapping her against the bed. "I want to go home," she said as firmly as she could, pressing up against his shoulders.
Marley finally stilled, staring at her as a whirlwind of emotions -- desire, sadness, frustration -- all fought for prominence. He shut his eyes, wincing, as if seeing her were too painful, and in one swift motion flung himself off of her to sit on the edge of the other bed, his head in his hands.
Afraid to speak, Savi pulled her dress back down and retied the loose halter top. She started to move toward him when he asked, "What the hell is really going on?"
Taken aback by his anger, Savi stayed where she was. "What do you mean?"
"You're not stupid, so don't act like it."
"Excuse me?"
Marley got up and started pacing the room. "I thought we'd moved past all this. Why don't you trust me?"
"It's not about trusting you, it's about moving too fast."
He scoffed. "So that's the latest reason?" His face was screwed up in fury and disgust, as close to ugly as it was probably possible for him to be.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"First it was the notebook, then it was that you'd never had a boyfriend before, then you said that we needed to get to know each other. Now we're moving too fast? Well you didn't think it was too fast a few minutes ago. I tried twice to stop and both times you made me keep going."
"I don't need a reason to say no," she shouted. "I can say it whenever the hell I want, whether it's about freaking whipped cream or sex!"
Marley chewed his lips as he gave her a long, dark look. Without a word he strode across the room and threw her back on the bed, landing on top of her and pinning her arms above her head.
Tears stung her eyes as she struggled beneath him. "What are you doing?"
"Is this about Ren?" he demanded, his voice low and cold.
The question was so out of left field that Savi briefly ceased her efforts to free herself.
"The first words out of your mouth yesterday and today when you came over were asking for him."
"I won't talk to you like this," she said, again trying to wrest her arms free, but Marley didn't listen.
The louder she cried, the quieter his voice became. "And when I brought up how you two were getting close at the lab, you didn't deny it."
"Let me go!" she yelled, but he gripped her tighter.
"You saw him naked and decided to switch brothers?"
"Marley! Stop!"
"Just tell me!" he growled. "I'll know if you're lying!"
The front door burst open, the pounding of rain on cement filling the dim room. Ren took one look at them, his face turned up in disbelief, and said, "Brother?"
Marley looked back down at Savi, as if seeing her streaming tears for the first time. But then his expression hardened and he stood up. Savi scrambled away from him and huddled against the wall.
"Why are you here?" he growled.
Ren's face remained set in shock. "I was coming back from my walk. I was going to go in their room, but I heard her screaming. If you hadn't sent the others away for the afternoon I'm sure they would have come in sooner. I almost didn't come in. I couldn't believe..."
Still standing in the rain, Ren's hair was stuck to his face, rivulets coursing down his cheek and dripping from his chin onto his already soaked t-shirt. "She's already been through that before," he said gently. "Don't you think you should take it slow?"
Whipping his head around at Savi, Marley asked, "What does he mean?" His eyes searched her for the answer, and she could see him finding it, his anger melting into horror. "Were you...? Did someone...?"
"He doesn't know?" Ren asked.
Marley's face caved in on itself in anger and embarrassment. "How does he know that about you?" he demanded. "Why didn't you tell me?"
He scoffed. "Oh right, you don't tell me anything. I ask you about what happened with the ona and Marcia, and all you say is you want to forget about it. Fine, I try to respect that. But Nissa can know that your dad was a werewolf?" He pointed at Ren. "He can know that you were assaulted?"
Savi cringed at his raised voice, then straightened up. "I didn't tell either of them, and I don't have to tell you anything. I never want to see you again!"
At her harsh tone, Marley's face collapsed. "Savi, I'm so sorry." He started walking towards her.
"Stay away from me," she said, but he kept walking.
"I wanted this to be our perfect night," he said. "After all these years --"
"Stay the hell away from me!" she screamed.
"Brother." There was no anger in Ren's voice. It wasn't an admonishment, or a warning -- just a tender plea, but it made Marley furious.
"Get out of here!" he shouted.
Savi ran at him, slapping him as hard across the face as she could. He hardly flinched.
"No, you get out!" she screamed, her hand stinging as she slapped him again.
"Please, Savi, I... I've been trying to tell you all night..." Not bothering to wipe the tears that were falling, he gave a weak laugh that couldn't make him smile. "I love you."
Savi covered her ears and shook her head.
"I love you," he said again, reaching for her.
She jerked away. "No," she said, bumping against the bed as she recoiled from him. "No you don't. You can't."
"I do. I love you," he repeated. "I've loved you since I first saw you on the playground."
"Stop saying that!" she cried. "That's not real! Stay away from me!"
Ren had moved behind Marley and put a hand on his shoulder. Marley's face instantly darkened, and he swung around, punching his brother. Savi flinched at the loud crack that sounded from Ren's jaw.
"Stay away from her!" Marley shouted, going for him again. "She's mine!"
Although he was still too surprised to avoid the second punch, Ren quickly got his own in, and soon the two brothers were wrestling on the floor. Savi ran across the room and grabbed the keys to the rental car, escaping into the driving rain.
Chapter Thirty-One
The wipers kept the windshield clear, but Savi barely saw the road through the storm that was raging within her. Unable to go back
to the cottage in the state she was in, she pulled into the parking lot of a convenience store very much like the Ready4U mart back home. Turning the car off and listening to the rain, Savi stared at the distorted world in front of her. It occurred to her that she should be crying, but she could only sit there, one thought racing around and around in her mind: What the hell just happened?
Even though she was profoundly disappointed in Marley for getting so absurdly jealous, she found that she was more stunned by what he had said afterward.
He loves me?
He said he'd loved her since they were kids. That made it even less possible. Seven-year-olds didn't fall in love.
After all these years, he'd said. If he'd been thinking about her since he was seven, then was his explanation of that notebook and the photograph of her a lie?
She's mine, he'd said to Ren. Is that how he thought of her? As some object to be owned? Is that what he thought love was -- possession?
Catching a glimpse of her blotchy face and red eyes in the rearview mirror, she went into the convenience store to wash up. On her way out, she caught the scent of beer and looked behind the counter to see the back wall covered with alcoholic beverages. The parrot on the white bottle, and the escape he promised, beckoned, her mouth suddenly feeling dry and leathery. She caught the eye of the cashier, but he frowned and motioned for her to keep walking, and she skittered out the door.
It's for the best, she thought, although she was really sick of the nightmares. Even though she left the light on, they'd been getting worse. Last night's had been really bad, with Marley morphing into Jameson. And the darkness. It was always so dark.
Dashing back to the car, she put her head on the steering wheel, the tears she had been repressing threatening to break forth. A rustling sound behind her -- separate from the white noise of the hammering rain -- made her glance in the rearview mirror. She screamed.
Someone was in her back seat.
"Gotcha!" Baxter shouted, too loudly for the small space.
"What the hell! You scared the crap out of me. Get out of my car!"
"Oh, come on, kid," he said, between breaths of hysterical laughter, "aren't we past all that? I'm on your side, remember?"
"Yeah, right."
Even though finding Baxter in her car was not something she would classify as pleasant, his shabby Red Sox t-shirt and his rough voice reminded her of home. Through good and bad -- well, make that bad and terrible -- he had been a constant through her life for the past year. Seeing him now, when she was so far from home, when she was so alone, was almost a comfort.
"What are you doing here?" she asked with a sigh. "How did you find me?"
"After you kicked me out --" He paused to give her a disapproving glare with his bloodshot eyes. "-- I decided to come on down to the Golden State and watch out for your ma. When you showed up, I started watching you too."
"Florida's the Sunshine State," corrected Savi.
"Nah, that's Hawaii."
"That's the Aloha State."
Giving her a skeptical look, he asked, "Then what's the Golden State?"
"I don't know." Savi rubbed her temples. "What do you mean watching us? For Berto?"
Rolling his eyes, he scooted forward and put his elbows on the front seats. "How many times do I have to tell you? Read my lips: I am NOT an Alter anymore." In his efforts to over enunciate, a string of spit dribbled from his lips. His forehead went crimson as he wiped it on his hairy arm.
"And how many times do I have to tell you," said Savi, "I don't believe you."
"Yeah, well." He fell back against the seat. "It doesn't matter. I was kiddin' myself if I was thinkin' there's anything I can do about all this, kid. Mama was all heart -- sure she got loopy at the end there," he added at Savi's scowl, "but Berto? He's got no heart, and he's got this whole city -- hell, the whole world -- in his pocket. Even Top was scared of Berto."
"Well after the full moon my mom and I will be out of here, and I won't have to deal with him or any of this Alters crap again."
"I hate to break it to ya kid, but once Berto's got his hooks in you, he's not ever throwin' you back."
Savi started to protest, to tell him he was wrong, that Berto had given them his word that they could leave. But the truth of Baxter's words stung, worming their way into her heart and gnawing at her dream of leaving this world behind. With all of his talk about her and her mom having a choice, Berto would never risk letting a veru malar fall into the hands of the Zuun again. It was a wonder Omar hadn't already ripped the Den apart to get her back.
Berto would never let them leave.
She turned back towards the steering wheel and put her hand on the keys. "I've got to get going. My mom --" The unmistakable sound of a bottle being opened stopped her cold. In the rearview mirror she saw Baxter take a drink from a brown paper bag. When he noticed her staring, he pulled the bottle from his lips and sneered at it.
"Haven't touched this stuff in years. Not since..." Baxter hid his face in his hands. He sat like that until Savi started worrying he was going to pass out and spill alcohol all over the rental car. But then he sniffed, and she realized he was crying.
Keeping his head down, he said, "I thought they were the answer -- not only for my problems, but the whole world's problems." He lifted his head and looked out the window, rubbing away the tears on his cheeks. "I thought, I'll finally be doin' somethin' right, for a change -- make my ma proud."
With a wet snort, he took another drink. "Never in all my years with Mama Marcia did she get so nasty as she did with you," he said. "The kids were always scared, and she was always so good to 'em. Everybody loved her by the end of the first day -- everybody."
He stopped talking, and Savi realized she had been watching the bag the whole time. He noticed too, and he held it out to her. "Want some?"
No. No, no, NO. "What is it?"
He pulled the bag down to reveal a bottle of beer.
She cringed. "That stuff's awful."
"I saw your favorite in there," he said, gesturing to the store. "Want me to buy you some?"
Ignoring her parched mouth, Savi shook her head. "My mom's expecting me home soon. Thanks to you she knows about my drinking from before. She's bound to smell it."
Nodding, Baxter said, "That's good your ma cares so much. She's a good one, you can tell." He took another swig. "Good lookin', too."
"Eew," said Savi, "that's my mother, you're talking about."
Baxter shrugged.
"Besides, she's engaged."
"To that Indian guy?"
With a groan Savi sat back and closed her eyes. "Dave."
"He no good?"
Savi heard the hope in his voice. "No," she said. "He's really nice. He's just..." She covered her face, her chin trembling with emotion, until finally the dam broke, and she sobbed, "He's not my dad."
Soft titters of laughter seeped into Marley's dreams. Someone whispered for him to get up, but whether the voice was in his unconscious or from the cold world creeping against his skin, he wasn't sure. He fought against the morning, not wanting to leave the peaceful emptiness of sleep.
"Sorry, girls, show's over," a woman said.
His eyes snapped open at the same time that a sheet landed on him. He stayed on the hard, gritty ground, wondering how long the three young teenage girls had been watching him.
"I'll take it from here," said a woman in a baggy t-shirt and pajama shorts.
Marley surveyed his surroundings. The storm had passed, and bright orange sunlight was setting the tops of the beach cottages around him aglow. Behind him was a wide brick road -- a road he recognized.
Dropping his head back down, he cursed loudly. He was at the Den.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" asked one of the girls, although she seemed less concerned for the woman's safety than with catching another glimpse of the naked boy.
Giving Marley a warm smile, the woman said, "He looks harmless enough. Now get going, or you'll miss out on sneaking some f
reshly baked cinnamon rolls on your breakfast shift."
The girls giggled as they left, their heads snapping back to peer over their shoulders until they disappeared around the nearest cottage. The woman squatted beside him, strands of her caramel colored hair hanging loose in her face.
"You're Second, aren't you?" he asked, his voice heavy with defeat.
"Correct," she said. Even though she appeared calm, she was close enough for Marley to hear her heart racing, and to smell her fear. "And you are Mr. Marley Bolden, I presume?"
With another tired swear, he closed his eyes, feeling no desire to escape. Savi hated him. She was afraid of him. He'd ruined his chances of ever being with her. Whatever happened to him now couldn't possibly be as bad as living with that.
A sharp pain stabbed into his neck, but he still didn't move. Second jumped back, as if expecting him to charge. When he didn't, she cocked her head and said, "You might be able to get to the street, if you want to run for it."
"I'd get farther than that," he said, welcoming the numbness that was slowly spreading up to his ear and down into his shoulder.
"Good to know," said Second.
He traced the toxins as they swam through his bloodstream, the blissful emptiness reaching his toes and lips. As the darkness overtook him, Second said, "She had a rough night too, you know."
Marley managed to open his eyes enough to see Second staring down at him with pity. His deadening brain tried to grasp the implication of this statement, but the best he could do was that it wasn't good. A moment later it shut down completely, returning him to his dreams.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Savi stayed in bed all day Sunday with an excruciating hangover.
After she'd begun sobbing, she begged Baxter to buy her rum and pineapple juice. He had been happy to oblige, and they cried and drank their way through the thunderstorm in the convenience store parking lot. She told him about her nightmares, and how drinking was the only way to stop them, and he'd wept and apologized until she accepted that he had truly left the Alters.