by Abby Tyson
There was a wariness in his eyes, but he gave her a gentle smile and shrugged, saying, "It's a good look for me."
Savi laughed at his unexpected joke, and he seemed equally surprised that she found it amusing. She went to the van to clean herself up, and when she came back out, Ren was back on the fence, hunched over so his elbows were on his knees. Lifting his forehead from his hands, he asked, "Want to walk?" Before she could answer he hopped off and started towards a nearby trail that led into the woods.
"Sure," said Savi, following him. When she caught up with him, she gave a weak laugh. "I guess you want to know what that was all about, huh?"
"Only if you want to tell me."
Savi stared at him in surprise. "You and Marley are way different," she said. "He would be all over me to talk to him."
"You have a different kind of relationship with him," he said.
Whether it was his intent or not, Savi was chastened by his statement. Perhaps he sensed that, because he added, "Words are very important to Marley."
"I'm guessing you haven't heard from him?"
"No." He looked up at the tops of the trees and said, "I have the feeling he's in trouble, wherever he is."
A chill passed through Savi as she had to admit that her hope that he had simply run off from embarrassment was becoming less likely with every passing day.
"Amber and Pearl found us again," she said, giving him a condensed version of the previous night's events.
"Nissa called the center and told Rudy," said Ren when she was finished. "She doesn't think they'll do anything about it other than put everyone on alert. Apparently origins are bound by some sort of code to remain in their woods, as some sort of protection for the rest of the animals."
"I always wondered why they wanted the receipts," said Savi, explaining that the first time she'd met Amber and Pearl was when they robbed the Beanie Beanie. "They must make some of their money from identity theft."
The trail crossed a road, and they waited for a car to pass before moving on. "I take it you haven't seen your dad, even though he's down here?" she asked.
Ren shook his head.
"He said he was heading back up before the Eye," said Savi, "but was vague about where he was staying, and when exactly he was leaving."
Ren kept his eyes on the trail, and although Savi was hoping he would tell her the source of the rift between him and his dad, she didn't want to push, since Ren had been so patient with her.
"Baxter made it to Virginia," she said, changing the subject. "He drove through the night, and called this morning to say he'll start checking out the sites we marked after he gets some sleep." When Ren still said nothing, Savi stopped trying to make him talk and left him to his thoughts.
The sky overhead was a bright, sunny blue, making the leaves of the trees sparkle overhead. Savi tried to push her unpleasant thoughts away and enjoy the sunlight-dappled path, the songs of the birds, the sweet smell of the grass, but specters kept rising up before her -- Amber, Jameson, Omar, Berto -- like ghouls poisoning her luminous surroundings.
"When I was sixteen," said Ren, his voice scattering the shadows around Savi, "I wanted to leave Pittsfield and go hike the Appalachian Trail. My dad told me I was being selfish, that I needed to help Marley find the silver wolf. I told him I needed to leave, to be on my own in the woods -- not forever, just for a while. He ordered me to stay."
He kicked a small rock down the path. "I went anyway. I tried to convince Marley to come with me, but he took Dad's side, asking me to stay, saying he wouldn't be able to find the silver wolf on his own."
Going out of his way to kick the rock again, he said, "I was sick of living my dad's life -- I wanted to live my life. Everything was about finding the silver wolf. We spent every day planning our next trip. We combed hunting websites, camping blogs, and wildlife sightings, searching for hints of the silver wolf."
Every time Ren said silver wolf, he became angrier. Savi tried to imagine what it was like searching for something for so long, all the while knowing it was most likely futile. And then a thought struck her so hard and fast that she almost stumbled: I did that, with Monty.
"I'd never gone anywhere unless it was hunting for the wolf," Ren continued. "I wanted to be able to enjoy the woods, instead of always seeing them as an obstacle, hiding what we needed."
"So that's why you and Warren are estranged?" asked Savi, though her mind was still occupied by the years she had wasted waiting for her dad to come home.
"The first full moon after I left, my dad's wife, Farida, ended up going with Marley. They didn't find the silver wolf, but they did come across a werewolf. Farida was hurt and almost bitten."
Ren paused briefly to search the brush for his rock, then moved on without it. "It was only a sprained wrist, but when Marley called and told me what had happened, I went home right away. She didn't blame me, but Dad and Marley did. Marley got over it eventually, but Dad didn't, and he kept getting more depressed about what was happening to him, talking about death all the time. I moved into the woods soon after I got back, and Farida left him a year later."
"Why?"
"Dad said it was my fault," he said, his voice flat. "He said it was because of what happened when I was gone, that she'd been scared off by almost becoming a werewolf herself. I think he'd become so morbid and mean that she didn't want to be around him anymore. I don't know how Marley lived with him, although he's always been Dad's favorite."
"Does this have to do with what you were telling me in Roanoke?" asked Savi. "Before the Zuun got us?"
Ren scratched his head, then curled his fingers into his hair, tugging a little. A touch of pink colored his ears. "I was trying to tell you that what you did -- not letting the origins tell you how to live your life -- was a reminder that I haven't lived my life yet. I've gotten closer, being by myself in the woods, but I'm trapped in Pittsfield until my dad's cured."
"To tell you the truth," said Savi, "I do feel a little guilty about that. I mean, what if they're right? What if somehow I can save the world?"
Frowning at the road, he said, "You can't do something only because people tell you that's the right thing to do. You have to agree. You have to feel it -- that it's right." Ren let out a breath, his blush creeping into his cheeks. "Marley would probably have some profound poetic quote right now."
Savi smiled as she agreed, then scanned the surrounding woods. "Where the heck are Glenn and Nissa? Shouldn't we have reached them by now?"
"They're already heading back towards the road," he said, pointing over his shoulder. "I heard them in the woods a ways back."
"Oh. We should probably do the same then."
They turned around and walked in silence for a few minutes. "Can I tell you something?" asked Savi. "It's been bothering me since the other night."
"Of course."
"I feel really bad about what happened the other night with Marley," she began. "I wish it hadn't happened, and afterward I felt miserable."
"That wasn't your fault," he said, meeting her gaze. "He knows better."
"It was my fault a little," she corrected, "but that's not what I'm getting at." She searched the trees for the birds that were singing, but couldn't see any of them. "I also feel... sort of... relieved."
She glanced at Ren in time to catch his shadowed expression, and hastily explained. "I didn't get it at first, and I thought it was just another sign of how messed up I am. But what you said yesterday, about how no one's perfect -- that made me realize that ever since that first weekend, I've been holding my breath with him. He was just too perfect. He's hot, he loves poetry, he's a superhero, always willing to go the extra mile and do the right thing..."
Savi trailed off and waited for someone to bike past. "His only flaws seemed to be that he talks with his mouth full, he's kinda grabby, and he likes --" Savi paused as she remembered Marley using a different word to describe how he felt about her. "-- likes me for some unknown reason. When you said that, it dawned on me that now
I know he's not perfection incarnate, and that makes it easier to believe that he actually... likes me."
Another biker whizzed past.
"I hope we can work through it," she said, watching the bikers disappear down the trail. Ren did the same. His color had disappeared, and his face was once again stony and unrevealing as always.
They walked without speaking for so long, that Savi thought the conversation was over. But finally Ren said, "He loves you. He won't give up on that."
Somehow, hearing Ren use the word Savi refused to say made it seem possible. Her eyes started to swell, but she laughed the tears away. "I hope so," she said.
Suddenly Ren's head snapped up, and he peered ahead in alarm. "Something's wrong."
A second later, a child's scream tore through the serene woods.
"Nissa," whispered Savi.
Running back along the trail towards the sound, Savi saw a body lying in the road. But it wasn't Nissa, it was Glenn.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Ren was so fast that by the time Savi arrived, he had already picked the wolf up and started running back to the van. When Nissa, who was waiting by the trail, saw Savi, she lifted her arms and said, "Pick me up!"
"What?" said Savi, already a little out of breath.
Nissa's face was red, tears dribbling down her chin. "We need to get Glenn to a hospital. I'll slow us down. Pick me up!" She stomped her foot and jerked her arms at Savi.
Hugging Nissa awkwardly to her chest, Savi tried to run, but had to put her back down after only a couple steps.
"Piggy-back," cried Nissa, darting behind her.
Savi knelt and Nissa jumped on her back, nearly knocking Savi over. After a few failed attempts, Savi managed to stand under Nissa's weight, and, although her shirt was riding halfway up her back, she began to run.
"What happened?" panted Savi.
"He saved me," sniffled Nissa. "We were crossing the road, and a car drove around the bend too fast. He saw it first and shoved me out of the way."
"The car didn't stop?"
"Obviously," Nissa cried.
With aching arms, Savi reached the van where Ren stood holding the battered wolf. "The door," he called.
Savi leaned over and accidentally dropped Nissa to the ground. "Sorry," she said, offering Nissa a hand.
"Get the door!" Nissa shouted, waving her away.
Opening the back hatch of the van, Savi cleared a spot. After Ren put Glenn down, Savi handed him the keys and jumped in beside Glenn. Nissa sat in the back seat, staring down at them. Ren got in the driver's seat and pulled out his phone to search for nearby animal hospitals.
Blood plastered Glenn's thick fur to his side, which was shallower than it should be, almost flat. His breath was weak and wet. When he opened his eyes, Savi could see the pain in them.
"Monty called me one night, ecstatic," Nissa said, tears flowing down her cheeks.
"What?" Savi looked up at her, but she was staring down at Glenn.
"He was so happy he could barely get the words out. It must have been about a year after you were born. He said he'd tracked Chloe to an apartment in Lenox."
Savi couldn't take her eyes off of Glenn, hearing his words through Nissa's voice.
"He said he saw you and Chloe in the back yard playing. She held one of your hands while you'd pick up some treasure with the other. Then, when you had a leaf as big as your head already in your hand, Chloe picked up a pine cone and offered it to you. Monty said he could see the dilemma in your face, wanting both. So you let go of Chloe's hand and took it from her. You took three wobbling steps and then fell. He said you might have made it farther if your mother hadn't burst out in applause, congratulating you on your first steps. It meant to him so much that he was there to see it. He loved you so much."
Ren turned the van on and started backing out of the parking spot.
"I know it doesn't mean as much," said Nissa, "but I do too."
Staring at the broken animal before her, picturing the scene he described, the familiar heat of anger rose up within her. Glenn had known about this her whole life. Even before she'd met him, he'd been lying to her. He'd lied about his family, his past, his name. He'd taken her father away from her. It was all his fault.
Or was it? The face that kept appearing before her wasn't Glenn's. Yes, Glenn convinced Monty to be altered -- even did the evil deed himself. Yet Monty was the one who had chosen to leave, to stay away. If Monty had found them in Lenox, he could have walked into that back yard and begged her mom to take him back. Savi didn't doubt for a second that she would have.
Was it really Glenn who she was angry with?
"I'm so sorry," wept Nissa. "I'm sorry I couldn't be what you needed. I'm sorry I took him from you."
"You were just a kid," said Savi, feeling the truth of the words as she said them. "It wasn't your fault."
"I miss him so much," whispered Nissa.
Glenn's body convulsed, and a wet gurgling sound came from his throat.
"Glenn!" Savi cried. "Ren! How close are we?"
"Twelve minutes!"
"Hold on, Glenn," she said between her tears. "Stay with me, please."
Savi cursed herself for being so cruel to him. She'd been so focused on her pain, on losing her dad, that she'd ignored the fact that Glenn had lost his best friend.
Burrowing her fingers into his thick fur, she leaned down, gently pressing her head to his. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry for being so selfish. I forgive you."
The weight that lifted off her shoulders was so physical, it was as if Nissa had remained on her back until just that moment. She was lighter, looser, her body free to move without the suffocating bonds of anger.
Bringing her lips next to the soft, fuzzy ear of the wolf, she said, "None of it was your fault. I forgive you."
As she spoke the words again, her hands, still buried in his fur, fused to Glenn's skin. Her palms tingled as a flood of something -- energy? life force? blood? -- poured through her into Glenn. Crying out, Savi tried to sever the connection, but her hands were glued by whatever bond had been formed.
Glenn started spasming, giving weak yelps of pain.
"Is he okay?" asked Nissa, her voice trembling in fear.
Savi tried again to release him, but when she moved her hands, his body moved with them.
"Let him go!" shouted Nissa.
"I can't!" Savi cried over his agonized howl. "Something's happening. My hands are stuck!"
Whatever it was flowing from her into Glenn rushed on, and the same freeing sensation Savi had experienced when she forgave Glenn overtook her. Closing her eyes, she imagined herself not as a person made of solid flesh and blood, but a waterfall, an endless source of this vital essence. The roar of the powerful water filled her ears, the deluge almost too much for her. She channeled it into Glenn, wanting him to taste the sweetness of the water, needing him to draw from its strength.
"He's changing!" Nissa screamed.
Startled out of her daze, Savi noticed that her hands weren't as buried as they had been. His fur was shortening, his body beginning to lengthen. "I think he's unaltering!"
"No!" Nissa shrieked, looking even more frightened than she had before. "Stop it!"
"I can't. I don't even know what I'm doing!"
Nissa climbed over the seat and yanked on Savi's hands. Glenn yelped with every pull, until it became obvious even to Nissa that she was causing him greater pain. Ren pulled over in an empty church parking lot and appeared in the back seat. Effortlessly he lifted Nissa, setting her beside him, his face pale as he watched Glenn transform.
Savi tried to recall the peace she'd enjoyed moments before, but she couldn't hear the water over Glenn's tortured squealing. With only a thin layer of skin between them, she felt every bone as it twisted, snapped, and scraped against her hands, like the claws of an animal trying to escape.
She was doing this to him. She was making his body break, tear, and stretch. And she couldn't stop.
Soon the pained howl of the wolf transformed into the tortured shrieking of a man, begging for help, begging for it to stop. His hands burned on her wrists as he tried to wrench them off, but he was no more successful than Nissa had been.
"Get his hands!" Savi cried, afraid he'd hurt himself. Ren dove over the seat and ripped Glenn's hands from her wrists.
Savi closed her eyes again, both out of a need not to witness the gruesome transformation, and out of privacy for the now naked man thrashing on the floor in front of her.
At last his body relaxed, and the pulsing energy ceased. Even when her hands detached from his skin, Savi held them far out in front of her, staring at these foreign objects that could turn beast into man. Ren picked up a nearby towel and threw it over Glenn, and they all waited in silence, listening to the man wheezing on the floor, the man with a glistening sheen of sweat on his pasty face, the man who had been a wolf.
"Thank you."
It was almost inaudible, more creaking vibration than voice, but it was Glenn, the first time in weeks that he'd spoken aloud.
"Are you okay?" asked Savi. "What about the car accident?"
"Sore," he said. "The hollowing." His lip twitched, as if he wanted to smile, but didn't have the energy. "All my bones broke anyway."
Savi pressed her hands together, trying to rid them of the lingering memory of his bones shifting beneath them.
"You don't know how you did that?" asked Ren. He was watching her hands too.
"No," she said. "Omar showed me a video of my grandmother doing it, but no one could figure out how it worked. I didn't think I could do it at all." She looked at Nissa, who was staring grief-stricken at Glenn. "Do you know how it works?"
Nissa's sorrow morphed into disgust and hatred as she turned to Savi. Spinning around in the seat, she said, "Get me out of here."
By the time they got back to the bike park, Glenn's eyes were open, but he was still too sore to move.
"Why don't you guys take the van?" asked Savi. "That way you don't have to move him twice."
"You should take him," snapped Nissa, as Ren gave Savi the keys to the rental car.