Maurice nodded. “I had to. I didn’t want anyone else to go to jail for killing him. I didn’t want anyone else to suffer.”
“Just Hank?”
More tears flowed and his nose starting running, only this time Maurice’s face contorted with anger. “He deserved to suffer! He cheated on me! Me! That jerk thought he could treat me that way. He was going to break up with me, move that big hairy ape of his into the home that I’d created for him. Sleep on my sheets, eat off my china, sit at the dining table I polished every week. I couldn’t let him do that. I couldn’t let him bring that Neanderthal into my home.”
“What Neanderthal? Monaldo?” I asked, confused. Maurice had mentioned he’d seen Hank coming out of Monaldo’s office. Maybe it had been more than a business relationship after all.
Maurice shook his head. “No. That goon of his. The one in need of a waxing.”
Unibrow! “Unibrow was gay!?” I asked, unable to keep the disbelief out of my voice.
Maurice narrowed his watering eyes at me. “Yes, he was gay. We’re not all delicate little flowers, you know.”
I mentally rolled my eyes. The man with the gun was lecturing me on political correctness.
“So you pushed Hank off the roof?”
Maurice nodded. “Don’t you see, I had to? He was going to ruin everything with that big hairy monster of his.”
“Why naked?” I asked, remembering the little detail that had been bothering me from the start.
Maurice gave me a ‘well duh’ look. “He was wearing an off the shoulder vintage Dior evening gown. It would have gotten blood all over it. There’s no way you could get those kind of stains out.”
Good point.
“Where is the dress now?” I asked. Though, honestly, I could care less. I was fishing for anything to buy time, to distract him. I slowly eased one hand into my purse, dangling at my side. If I could just get my fingers around my cell phone…
“What are you doing?” The gun popped up from my chest to catch me smack between my eyes.
A wave of pure panic surged up from my belly, every muscle in my body going tense as he took a step forward.
“Nothing,” I squeaked out in a voice almost as shrill as Queenie’s non-stop yapping.
“Drop your purse. Throw it on the floor.”
I did as I was told, slowly slipping the thin strap off my shoulder and letting my one hope at rescue drop to my feet.
“Now kick it toward me,” he commanded.
I did, the contents spilling out the top as it bounced across the olive green shag. Queenie immediately pounced on the new toy and I cringed as her pointy little teeth dug into the Italian leather.
“Now what?” I asked, half dreading the answer.
“Now walk down the hallway,” Maurice said, gesturing with the tip of the gun. “Slowly.”
“Where are we going?”
“The bathroom,” Maurice responded. “I’m going to shoot you in the bathtub. Easier to clean up.”
I felt the gun barrel at my back, poking and prodding me down a narrow hallway, into a small bathroom. The floor and tub were tiled in rosy ceramic squares, the walls a nauseating teal. The room smelled like someone had plugged in fifteen different air fresheners all at once. I gulped back the sickeningly sweet scent as Maurice spun me around.
“Hold your hands out in front of you,” he commanded, the gun barrel mere inches from my face.
What choice did I have? I held my hands out, palms up, wrists together. Maurice reached into a bathroom cabinet, all the while keeping the .38 pointed my direction, and pulled out a roll of duct tape. Using his teeth he pulled at the end, then wrapped the sticky gray stuff around my wrists until I was immobilized. That panic started to build again and I felt tears pricking my own eyes.
“Maurice, please, let’s talk about this,” I pleaded.
Maurice ripped off another piece of tape with his teeth, then gave me a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, Maddie. I truly am. But I have to do it.” Then he stuck the tape over my mouth, smoothing down the edges until any hope of making a sound more than a whimper was lost.
And, I’m not ashamed to say, I did in fact take the opportunity to whimper. In fact I whimpered so piteously as Maurice nudged me into the bathtub that Queenie bounced down the hallway to see what was happening. She still held the strap of my purse in her teeth and cosmetics, credit cards, tampons, and change trailed behind her. She padded into the bathroom, her little nails clicking on the tile, and rubbed against Maurice’s leg. He reached down absently and gave her head a pat. So grateful was she for the attention, that Queenie dropped the purse strap and started yapping a ‘thank you’ up at Maurice. As my favorite leather handbag hit the floor, a cell phone tumbled toward the edge of the tub. My eyes grew big and I was glad the duct tape stifled my gasp as I saw it wasn’t my cell phone. It was Dana’s special cell phone.
The stun gun.
“Now, Maddie, please make this easy on both of us,” Maurice directed, sniffling and biting his lip as he held the gun in a straight-arm pose, taking his aim. “Don’t move, just stay right where you are.”
Not on your life, pal.
I took a deep breath, gave myself a two count, then lunged for the cell. My bound hands clamped around it just as I heard the gun erupt. The bullet whizzed so close to my ear that I felt it ruffle my hair before it embedded itself in the shower tiles, sending chips of rose colored ceramic spraying in the air.
“Look what you did!” Maurice shouted, aiming down at the floor where I was wriggling toward him like a snake, cell stunner shoved out in front of me, hoping to God I pushed the right button.
“It’s too late to call for help, Maddie,” he said, popping off another shot. This one bounced on the tile beside me, sending Queenie into a tizzy. She bounded up and down like a yo-yo, thankfully springing between me and Maurice’s gun as I edged closer. Just a few more inches…
“Move, you mutt,” Maurice yelled, squinting one eye shut as he tried to aim around the yapper.
One more inch…
I wriggled closer, reaching my arms out as far as they would go, then closed my eyes and hit the red button.
Maurice did a strangled little cry, then crumpled to the ground, his head landing inches from mine as his tongue lolled to the side.
I did a sigh of relief and went limp myself, staring at the teal colored ceiling, taking in big deep breaths of air and basking in the glory of being alive.
I gave my self a couple more beats of basking, then traded my stunner for Maurice’s .38 and backed up against the far wall. Holding the gun in one hand, I grabbed a corner of the duct tape covering my mouth and ripped.
“Holy mother of God!” I cried. My eyes welled up with tears, my hands instinctively going to my throbbing upper lip. I think I ripped off a layer of skin. Or two. Well, on the up side, at least I didn’t have to worry about that mustache thing anymore.
Trying to ignore the fire smoldering on my upper lip, I quickly grabbed my real cell phone from my purse and dialed Ramirez’s number.
For once, he picked up. I tried to explain where I was and what was going on without giving him another heart attack, though I’m not sure I completely succeeded. He was quiet for a second then let out a whole string of curses, some of which I had to give points for creativity. Once he ran out of curses, he said he’d be right there. I hung up just as Maurice began to twitch on the floor.
Shit. I grabbed the roll of duct tape and, with my own hands still stuck together, awkwardly wrapped it around Maurice’s ankles and wrists. Then, just for good measure, I smoothed a piece over his mouth too. Which, knowing how much that sucker was going to hurt to take off, was rather evil of me. But what could I say? Being duct taped put me in a vindictive mood.
Once I had him bound, I propped him against the tub, then scooted to the far wall and picked up the .38 again, pointing it straight at Maurice as his eyes flickered open in surprise.
He looked down at his bound hands, then up at t
he gun, his eyes going wide and weepy.
“Sorry Maurice,” I said, keeping the gun aimed at his bald head. “I had to do it.”
* * *
As I may have mentioned before, there are two things in this world I hate more than getting shot at. Birkenstocks (which no matter what kind of pedicure you wear them with, always make a girl’s feet look like they should be drenched in patchouli at a Grateful Dead concert) and sit-ups (the cruelest form of punishment still currently legal). But, I realized as Ramirez tugged at my wrists, I had a third item to add to the list.
Duct tape.
“Owww!” I whined, watching the evil gray strips rip the peach fuzz off my arms.
“Don’t be such a baby,” Ramirez said, dropping another piece on the floor.
“But it hurts!”
“We’re almost done. Just one more piece.” He shot me one of his lopsided grins, then ripped the little sucker off.
“Owww!” I wailed.
Okay, I admit, I was playing up the baby thing just a little. But the way Ramirez had fawned over me ever since he burst through Maurice’s bathroom door, I’d be an idiot not to. The first thing he’d done was grab me in another rib-crushing hug that lasted so long I feared I’d pass out. Then he’d promised he was not letting me out of his sight again. Ever. Okay, so probably a little heat-of-the-moment and unrealistic, but it made my heart go all mushy inside anyway.
After the LVMPD had arrived and taken Maurice into custody (sobbing all the way to the squad car) Ramirez had held my hand while the paramedics checked me out, and Detective Sipowicz (who was looking a little peeved at seeing me yet again) took my statement. Then, Ramirez packed me into his SUV and drove me back to the New York, New York where he was currently removing the last remainders of my latest encounter with the homicidal Mr. Clean.
“There,” he said, pulling one more bit of sticky tape from my arm. “All done.”
I rubbed my wrists. “It still hurts,” I whined.
Ramirez got a wicked look in his eyes and his lopsided grin grew to Big Bad Wolf proportions. “Maybe I should kiss it and make it better.”
“Seriously? I just almost get killed - again – and you’re thinking about sex?”
He grinned. “I’m male. I’m always thinking about sex.”
“Oh brother.” I rolled my eyes.
“Come on. You. Me. A quiet hotel room.” He looked down at the double. “A big bed…”
Hmmm… I had to admit, he made a persuasive argument. Which became even more persuasive when he grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips, whispering a soft kiss along the inside of my wrist.
I closed my eyes, my temperature rising about fifteen degrees.
“Feeling sexy yet?” he murmured against my skin.
I shook my head. “Unh uhn,” I lied.
His mouth traveled upward, nibbling at the inside of my elbow. “How about now?”
I swallowed back a sigh as his sexy day-old stubble skimmed over my skin. “Nope.”
He wrapped one arm around my middle, pulling me flush against his rock-hard body. His mouth hovered over mine, so closely I could feel his hot breath on my lips. “Now?” he whispered.
“Okay, maybe just a little.”
He grinned, showing off that deceptively boyish dimple. “I knew you’d come around,” he growled, his deep voice vibrating against my lips. Then his mouth closed over mine. Softly, slowly, igniting an instant fire that started somewhere in my belly and quickly spread south.
I kissed him back. Hard. Okay, fine, I was female. Around Ramirez, I was always thinking about sex too. So much so that right at the moment, I didn’t care if my legs weren’t shaved, if my underwear didn’t match my bra, or that my upper lip was still red and swollen from my duct tape facial. Screw it. We were all alone, the bad guys with guns were behind bars, and Ramirez was kissing me. Oh boy, was he kissing me.
I shuddered as his hand snaked up my thigh, sliding past the hem of my denim skirt until I was praying to the Gods of prophylactics that Ramirez carried protection in his wallet. I wrapped one leg around his solid body, pulling him close, my fingers seeking out his button fly. I was just popping button number two when the door to the hotel room burst open.
“Maddie, guess what,” Marco cried, prancing into the room. “Madonna got us tickets to see Bette Midler! I’m going to see the divine Miz M in person tonight. I am in heaven, dahling, absolute heaven! I am so-” He paused. “Oh. Am I interrupting something?”
I glared at him. If looks could kill, Marco would be one dead duck.
Ramirez did a primal growl that belonged on Animal Plant, then stood up, adjusting his jeans.
“Oops. Sorry,” Marco said doing a sheepish grin. “My bad.” He looked down to the pile of duct tape on the floor. “What’s with the tape?” he asked. Then got a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Is this something kinky?”
“No, it’s not kinky. Sticky and painful is more like it,” I reassured him. Then filled him in on my run-in with Maurice while Ramirez re-buttoned his fly. By the time I was done, Marco’s jaw was dragging on the floor.
“Oh, honey, you are amazing! You’re the shit. You are the fabbest lady I know. You totally took down a cold blooded killer!”
I hoped Ramirez was getting all this. “Well,” I said modestly, “Dana kind of helped. It was her stun gun after all.”
“Oh no honey, it was all you. Oh!” He clapped his hands together. “We have to celebrate. Drinks tonight after the show?”
“Absolutely,” I agreed.
“Fab! Well, I’m going to make like a cheap stocking and run. I’ve got to find something to wear to fawn over Bette. I’ll, uh, leave you two to your private celebration here then,” he said with a wink before skipping back out of the room.
As soon as the door closed behind him, Ramirez grabbed my hand and pulled me to him again, wrapping one arm around my waist, the other hand caressing the back of my neck. “Now,” he growled, “where were we?”
He didn’t give me a chance to answer as he zeroed in on my lips. This time more urgently, with purpose. Not that I minded. I had to admit as my hands roved up to his six-pack that belonged in a Cool Water commercial, my hormones switched into urgent mode, too. Ramirez groaned as my fingers moved south to that button fly again. He leaned me back on the bed, falling on top of me. Whoa. Was that a colt .45 in his pocket or was he just happy to see me?
I was two buttons away from finding out when the hotel room door popped open again.
“Sonofabitch,” Ramirez swore.
“Ohmigod, yes, that’s totally the spot!” Dana staggered in the door, giggling and flushed as Rico nibbled on her neck. “Oh!” She paused when she saw us. “Whoops. Looks like this room’s already occupied.”
I cleared my throat as Ramirez rolled off me, muttering something about strangling the blonde. “Uh, kind of. I mean, we were just…” I trailed off, blushing too hard to finish the thought.
“Uh huh, us too.” Dana giggled again as Rico pinched her behind.
“So, I guess you two made up then?” I asked, even though the hickie forming just below Dana’s ear answered that question clearly enough.
Dana nodded. “Rico called me this morning after Officer Taylor released him from holding. Can you believe Slim Jim’s pressing charges? Anyway, Rico apologized for getting all jealous and I apologized for totally overreacting and now we’re going to…”
“Make up?” I supplied before she could venture into too-much-info territory.
“Uh huh,” Dana giggled. “Besides, I couldn’t stay mad at my little love guns,” Dana crooned, smooshing Rico’s cheeks until his lips puckered out.
“Awe,” he cooed back in baby talk, “I wuv you my little bullet baby.”
Ugh. Urban Soldier endearments.
“Hey, what happened to your wrists?” Dana asked, looking down to where the sticky tape residue had mingled with lint from Ramirez’s jeans, leaving me looking like I had Smurf bracelets on.
“Long story,�
�� I answered. So, I gave her a quickie version, highlighting the attempt on my life and the good fortune of a dog that liked leather purses.
“Ohmigod!” Dana yelled when I’d finished. “I knew that stun gun was a good idea!”
“Yeah, well, for once it zapped the right guy. Anyway, we’re meeting Marco for drinks to celebrate tonight. You in?”
“Totally!” Dana said. Then shot a glance at Rico. “If I’m not otherwise engaged.”
“Speaking of which… ” Rico said, catching Dana’s eye.
“Right. Well, I guess we’ll leave you two alone,” Dana said as she and Rico staggered out the door in a lip-lock.
Ramirez slammed it shut behind them, then turned his dark eyes on me. “You have way too many friends.”
At the moment, I had to agree.
In one long step he crossed the distance between us and we were engaged in a lip-lock of our own. And this time urgency was definitely the name of the game. His hands were everywhere at once. Tugging at the hem of my skirt, sliding up my belly, fumbling with the clasp of my bra. And I was keeping pace. This time I had all five buttons undone before you could say ‘BVDs’. We were on a mission. Nothing was stopping us now…
“Oy, I tell ya’, that game was rigged. There’s no way that dealer coulda had a run like that unless he was- Oh. Sorry, Mads.”
…nothing except Mrs. Rosenblatt.
I closed my eyes and thunked my head against the headboard, wondering what a girl had to do around here to get laid.
“Mads?”
My eyes popped open. “Mom?”
Ramirez stood up, pulling his hand out of my shirt like it had been bitten by a snake. “Mom!?” he squeaked out in a falsetto. Mobsters he could handle, but my mom, now that scared him.
“Uh, sorry to interrupt,” Mom said from the doorway. “It was time for Mrs. Rosenblatt’s blood pressure pills and she left them up here in the room. But had we known you had company…” Her eyes strayed to Ramirez’s un-done fly.
“Shit.” Ramirez turned around and re-buttoned. Again.
High Heels Mysteries Boxed Set (Books 1-5) Page 52