by Darren Cage
Despite the massive amount of blood within me, my cock did not stir.
I swallowed hard. “I promised you I would be a good and kind man. I would be decent and that I would return to you. I did return, only you were not there. You did not trust me. You did not wait.”
I stood, staring down at her. Love and hatred were so very similar, and I both adored and despised her.
Vampires were capable of love. We weren’t entirely monsters. We maintained our minds, so long as our impulses did not sway us. We could feel emotions.
And that was my reason for the atrocity I had committed these long hours. I had lost my love and, thus, a part of myself. I wanted to experience that love again.
“I lost you and lost myself. I have died, and I have killed. So many, Mihaela. Without you and your love, I cannot always do what is right. To ask that of me when you are not here isn’t fair.”
I brushed her still-silky strands back.
“I loved you for so very long, and now, you are forever gone to me. We will never be together again. It is time I make a new vow, one to myself.” I slammed a fist to my chest, to where my heart once beat. “I vow that one day, I will wed again.”
But who? Stela came to mind first, but she spent so much time away yet. I feared she was not ready to be with me, and for all I knew, she was not monogamous with me.
Not that I was loyal to her.
Catina had already asked for us to wed, but a human bride for a vampire groom? That did not sit well with me, which meant Andreea was not a possibility either.
At least, the two were not possibilities yet.
My gaze fell on Mihaela’s fallen form. No more words came, not even good-bye, and I walked out of the shrine. Because of the workers and Catina, I typically walked at human pace throughout the castle, but I used my vampire speed and plowed straight into Andreea. I halted and caught her before she could fall.
She stared up at me, blinking in shock. “Vlad, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you—”
My mouth crushed against hers. Love was my quest, but from the moment I heard her heart beating in her chest, lust took over. My cock engorged from the blood rushing through my veins.
Andreea had spent a few nights here at Catina’s request. She wore a simple white t-shirt and nothing else. I could tell because I was fondling her nipple through her shirt and gripping her bare ass beneath her shirt as I deepened the kiss.
She moaned, accepting me, racking her nails down my back. Had she not seen the blood on my person? I was naked already. When I exploded into the bats, my clothes had been ripped to shreds, and I never had dressed.
Her hand slipped between our bodies, encircling my cock. I pulled back slightly, and her eyes fluttered open, her dark orbs reflecting the lust in my eyes.
“You’re so big,” she murmured. “How can a vampire…”
“We drink blood,” I reminded her and held up my wrist. “Would you like a taste?”
I could see her think that over, her mind questioning whether it was smart and what it might do to her. Catina could be rather methodical at times, especially when it came to her business, but she was all about pleasure and feeling and experiencing everything when it came to the bedroom. Andreea, with her work, needed curiosity, and it seemed she could not help but question everything, even here.
“You do not have to,” I said, lowering my arm, shifting my hand so I could feel her slick folds.
I made her orgasm once from my fingers before lifting her up and thrusting inside her standing up. I didn’t need the wall to support her. She was strong but light, and she bounced on my dick. Her head rolled back, and all she could do was hold on.
When her walls squeezed around me as she came a second time, she righted her head and nodded.
“What do you want?” I grunted, not ready to come yet.
“Your blood and you mine.” She held out her wrist.
I bit mine first and then hers, shoving my wrist to her mouth. We drank, her sucks tentative, mine just sips as I already had so much blood in me, so much I could nearly burst. Andreea then unwrapped her other arm from holding the back of my neck and shoved my wrist tighter to her mouth, sucking harder, and it felt as if she were sucking my cock. The force of my orgasm forced her to come as well.
As I set her back down to stand before me, I saw a flash of when she had tried to teach a young troll boy how to talk. This clearly had not been her first troll encounter, as she had told me she had fainted at the sight of the first troll's club coated in blood, but watching Andreea try to humanize a monster was so pure and good. She reminded me of Mihaela at that moment, and I knew that if I so choose, I could love Andreea. She, as Mihaela had before her, could make me better a better man.
A better vampire.
“You need your rest,” I told Andreea.
“I was going to get some water,” she murmured.
I fetched her some, leaving and returning in the blink of an eye.
She smiled her appreciation, kissed my cheek, and returned to her chambers.
As I walked past Catina’s, the door opened, and she popped out her head, her orange-red hair sexy despite being slept-in.
“It sounded like you had fun without me,” she said with a pout. Her gaze wandered over my bloody body and landed on my still-hard cock.
“You want me?” I growled.
“Can’t you smell my arousal?” she asked, lifting her chin.
I laughed. Indeed, I could. "You never were as innocent as you pretended to be," I said as I stalked toward her.
“I never lied to you,” she protested.
“But you had experiences.”
“Yes. Not many pleasurable ones with men.”
“But with women.”
“Love is meant for anyone and everyone,” she whispered.
“Even a monster?” I asked.
“You aren’t a monster.”
I scowled and snatched her wrist, halting her from touching my face. “Do you not see the blood, smell it?”
“I do, and I don’t care.”
“Why not?”
She hesitated. “I would rather… Realizing that you are a monster is the first step toward acceptance, toward working to being a better man.”
“I’m not a man. I’m a vampire.”
“You’re a man all right,” she said, gripping my cock and stroking it only once before releasing it.
I swallowed a groan of disappointment. “You knew a monster.”
Catina rubbed her throat, and she didn’t quite revert back to the innocent young woman I had first spoken to, but she most certainly was more vulnerable as she walked back toward her bed.
I entered her room, shutting the door and followed her, sitting beside her on the edge of her bed.
She clasped her hands on her lap so tightly her knuckles whitened. Her breathing became ragged, and her heartbeat raced. From fear? What had happened to her?
I reached over and patted her hands, not knowing if I should prompt her to speak, or would silence help her more?
“My father,” she started and then stopped. A few deep breaths and she plunged ahead, “He used to beat my mother until she would bleed. He had money, so I went out and bought a rug to hide the stains. It was my first taste in interior decorating.”
She glanced at me, tears in her eyes, but she still offered me a small smile.
“He killed her and forced himself on me or tried to, but I kicked her and ran away. I fled the county, came here, made a name for myself. I haven’t seen him since. I had been with a few men, two others. I trusted them. I thought that maybe they weren’t like my father, and then, I just… I couldn’t enjoy it. Not with them.”
“Why with me?” I asked.
"Because," she murmured. "You think you're a monster because you drink blood to survive, but you know who you are. You accept it. My father pretended he was a good man. He gave money to the poor, donated his time… but he was also cruel and vicious, and I hated him. You... I could never hate y
ou."
“But I don’t always just drink so that I can survive,” I said. “If you knew what I did just hours ago…”
She tilted her head, compassion shining in her blue eyes. “What did you do?”
But I couldn’t bring myself to voice my earlier actions. Instead, I let her drink from my wrist and see for herself. Unsurprisingly, she wept.
“I am a monster,” I informed her.
“You’re hurting and in pain. You lashed out, and you killed. It’s not right, no, but maybe there’s a way you can atone for your sins.”
“By, say, giving money to the families of those I killed and donating my time,” I said sarcastically.
“Yes and also letting others in, letting us help you. Talk to us.”
“About?”
“Her.”
“I don’t know if that will help,” I said.
“It might. You might not be ready to yet, but I’m willing to listen.” She patted my shoulder. “And I’m not leaving.”
“You should.”
“When you need me the most?”
She didn’t voice her love for me aloud, but I saw it burning brightly in her eyes just the same.
Wordlessly, she came to me, and we did not fuck. We made love, and we drank from each other, and I almost felt bliss.
Almost.
Chapter Thirteen
My body was tired, weary. Perhaps turning into the bats and falling from village to village too more out of me than I anticipated. Then again, I had also changed into a fog. Learning I could shapeshift had come at a shock, but my emotions had been so heightened and primed on rage and grief that I hadn't the time to devote to shock or curiosity. I would have to speak to Andreea later and see all that she knew about vampires. There were plenty of stories about vampires, of course, legends and folk tales, but she might know the truth.
And again, my turning into one had been rather unconventional. I did not have Ambrogio’s and Selene’s blood in my system. I should not be a vampire, yet I was.
After leaving Catina's room, I felt emboldened. I felt as if I might be able to move forward, to move on, to become a better vampire, the one I had almost become already. Now, though, as I entered my bedchambers, the sight of my coffin made me realize just how exhausted and fatigued I was. Sleep was required, a great deal, so that I might be able to start anew. First, though, I washed my body and then dressed in a simple shirt and pantaloons.
The casket was soft, silky and satiny, and I shut the lid, blocking out the sun and everything else. My arms crossed, my hands over my heart, the position I always slept in.
Never, not once, had I dreamed since I became a vampire, but this time, I saw so many things, so many people, so many memories. It wasn’t until I saw the couple, the one where I allowed the woman to live, that I realized what was happening.
I was witnessing memories from those I had killed.
It wasn’t easy to watch any painful experiences, but the happy ones were positively unbearable. A mother holding her child for the first time, a man professing his love, a child accepted into a new school, a young man being hired, and on and on.
No matter what Catina said, I was a monster.
Slowly, awareness came to me, but the fog of sleep did not release me until I heard a scream, not one of terror, though. More a shout. Another joined in. Two were shouting at each other.
It wasn’t until I opened my coffin that I could hear the voices clearly.
“You think that just because he allows you to live here doesn’t mean you have a right to him,” Stela shouted.
“You are hardly ever here,” Catina yelled back. “Why shouldn’t he turn to me?”
“Do you even know what he is?”
“I do.”
Interesting. I hadn’t realized how much the two had ever interacted, and to learn that they were fighting over me did not make me feel any better about myself.
Catina did have a point. Stela disappeared and often, and she had never told me where she would go or what she would do or who she would see. Then again, I had never asked her. Perhaps she would answer those questions.
Why hadn't I asked? I couldn't be afraid to learn the answers. That was ridiculous.
Maybe I wanted to believe that she was a better vampire than I was. As far as I knew, she continued to only drink from rapists and other criminals. Well, drink from, kill. The world would be a better place if she rid us of those blights.
But then should she kill me, too? I was not brightening the world any.
Life should be about fulfilling one’s purpose. I had this unquenchable thirst for a reason. Why should I try to have some restraint? Shouldn’t I enjoy being a vampire? Stela clearly was.
The two continued their shouting match, and I listened. Stela had to know that I could overhear them, so it wasn’t truly eavesdropping. Besides, it wasn’t as if I could close my ears and not hear their conversation.
“You’re just a whore,” Stela said. “He doesn’t care about you.”
“And you care about him? Where do you run off to?”
Stela was silent.
“See?” Catina said triumphantly. “You won’t admit where you go, and it’s because you’re ashamed.”
“You know nothing about me,” Stela hissed.
“You know nothing about Vlad. He talks to me, tells me things.”
“He talks to me!”
“He also pleasures me like no man before other has.”
“He is no man,” Stela growled.
I bristled. Yes, Catina knew the truth without even having to be told, but did Stela know that? Would she share our secret without my consent?
“You’re right. He isn’t a man,” Catina said, sounding calmer now. “He is a god.”
I scowled. I was a lot of things, but a god was not one of them.
“You know nothing,” Stela said with contempt.
“You sound like you hate him.” Again, Catina seemed delighted.
“Not at all,” Stela said. “You don’t understand what it’s like…”
“And you think you understand?”
Another pause and then Stela said, “I don’t hate him.”
“So you say, but actions—”
“I hate you.”
A scream rang out, and this one was full of terror. Cursing myself for not realizing where the fight was heading, I used all of my vampire speed to race to where the two women had been fighting.
But even so, I arrived too late. A slumped Catina was in Stela’s arms. The vampire dropped the redhead, and I didn’t have to use my ears to know Catina was dead.
“Why did you do that?” I asked coldly.
Stela stared at me. “It isn’t right to use her,” she snapped.
“I’m not using her.”
“Never compelled her?”
“Never,” I said firmly.
Stela harrumphed.
“I would never. I hate that I did you, and I’m sorry I—”
“Save it,” she snapped. “I spared her a life of misery.”
“Actually…” I shook my head. Stela would learn soon enough what she had done.
Namely, killed Catina with vampire blood in her. It was only a matter of time before Catina returned to us.
To me.
“What happened?” I asked. “Clearly, something set you off.”
Stela locked her jaw and pointedly refused to look at me.
“Please.” I carefully walked around Catina’s crumpled form and cupped Stela’s chin. “I’ve been wanting to ask you where you go, what you’ve been doing. I miss you when you aren’t here.”
“Do you?” Her gaze fell to Catina.
“It’s hard, the emotions, controlling them, containing them.” I swallowed hard. “Something happened earlier.”
“The attack was you.”
“Yes,” I said, not at all surprised to learn she had heard or even seen it.
“Why?”
“No reason I can give would ever excuse—”
“Why?” she demanded through gritted teeth.
“I wed my wife on this day.”
Her perfect red lips formed an “O.” “I am sorry.”
“As am I. I shouldn’t have.”
“No, you shouldn’t have, but what’s done is done.” As she said this, her gaze fell from my face to Catina.
"You hated her?" I questioned.
“You didn’t have enough in me.”
“You leave so often.”
“I might have lost Lucy, but I have other friends. Had. I just check on them from afar. I… They think I’m missing or dead, and perhaps that is for the best. I do not want them to worry, but I also don’t want them to know the truth.”
“You aren’t a monster,” I said, enfolding her into my arms.
“Aren’t I?” she murmured. “I witnessed one of my friend’s husband strike her hard enough to leave a welt. I… I killed him.”
“That doesn’t make you a monster.”
“I was judge, jury, and executioner.”
“Was that the first time he struck her that you know of?”
She nodded.
“Would she have told you, do you think? Or hid it?”
“I… I don’t know, but—”
"But how is this any different from killing rapists?" I demanded. "Do you feel guilty about that?"
“No.” She lifted her chin almost defiantly.
“Would you hesitate to kill murderers?”
“No.”
“What if you hadn’t killed him? What if one day that husband strikes her so hard that she hits her head, falls into a coma, and never wakes up? What if he would have killed her? Your actions may have saved her life.”
Stela tilted her head to the side.
“What else happened?” I pressed.
“Nothing else happened earlier.”
“And the time away was never…”
“Never what, Vlad?” She put her hands on her hips.
“With a man? Or a woman?”
Stela smirked. “Now who is jealous?”
“I’ll admit it.”
“Yet you…” She gestured toward Catina.