Something on the wall caught his attention.
Robert had an idea.
“Grab my leg!” he told Glenn.
“Are you crazy?”
“I need my other hand! Hurry!”
Robert knew he would only have one chance. With Glenn and a snakesister pulling on his legs, the force would be overwhelming; he wouldn’t last more than a second. As soon as Glenn released his hand, Robert lunged forward, reaching for the wall.
And pulled the handle of the fire alarm.
The siren was instantaneous and deafening. Lovecraft’s state-of-the-art fire safety system immediately unlocked every door in the school, so that no student would be trapped in the blaze. The snakesisters bellowed in frustration. They released their grip and then dove into the vortex, which promptly closed and vanished, leaving just a faint ring of frost on the cardboard tapestry.
Robert and Glenn collapsed to the floor.
An instant later, the door to the gym crashed open and a group of adults led by Principal Slater came charging in.
“Where’s the fire?” she asked.
“It’s a false alarm,” Robert said.
Principal Slater punched a code into the alarm panel and the siren stopped abruptly. There was no trace of the sunny, friendly, former soap-opera actress in her expression. Now she simply looked furious.
“Which one of you did this?” she asked. “And what’s that awful stench? It smells disgusting in here!”
“I’ll explain later,” Robert said. “I need to find my mom.”
Mrs. Arthur was standing behind Principal Slater, along with Mr. Price and Mr. Loomis. “I’m right here,” she said. “I was helping in the cafeteria when this girl in a ghost costume said you were looking for me. What the heck is going on?”
Thank you, Karina, Robert thought.
“Pulling a fire alarm is a serious criminal offense,” Principal Slater said. “Now I’m going to ask my question one more time, and I want an answer. Who did this?”
Robert said, “It was—”
“Sarah and Sylvia,” Glenn interrupted.
“Impossible!” Mr. Price shouted, pushing past the other adults to look Glenn in the eyes. “You know that’s a lie! My daughters would never pull a false alarm!”
“Go ahead and ask them,” Glenn shrugged. “If you can find them.”
Mr. Price glanced around the room and his gaze settled on the faint outline of white frost where the vortex used to be. In an instant he seemed to understand that something had gone terribly wrong. “Where are they?”
“I think they went home,” Robert said.
Glenn nodded. “They had some lemonade and it made them a little jumpy. Too much sugar, I guess. I don’t think they’re coming back.”
Mr. Loomis looked exasperated. “But I need to announce the winners! Everyone’s waiting to hear the results! Sarah needs to be here!”
Mr. Price continued staring at the tapestry until the white frost vanished, and then he turned away in disgust. “I need to make an announcement of my own,” he said. “I’m afraid I have some very bad news.”
EIGHTEEN
The dance resumed quickly after the false alarm, but at precisely nine twenty-seven p.m., Mr. Loomis climbed the steps of the stage and tapped on the microphone, calling once again for everyone’s attention. He was still wearing the fake beard and stovepipe hat, and he spoke in his deepest and most reverent voice. “Four score and seven minutes ago,” he intoned, “we began the first dance in the history of Lovecraft Middle School. And now we shall make history again—by revealing the name of our first student council president!”
Kids and teachers clapped and cheered. Robert stood at the edge of the audience, accompanied by Glenn and Karina (and Pip and Squeak, who were resting comfortably in the pocket of his flak vest). It was a weird feeling: just a few short minutes ago, he was nearly dragged into a nightmarish alternate universe by a pair of hideous snakesisters. Now he was surrounded by all his classmates and sipping root beer from a paper cup, as if life was perfectly normal.
“But before I announce the winner,” Mr. Loomis continued, “I’m afraid I have some unfortunate news. I just spoke with Mr. Price, the wonderful leader of our Parents Association, and he tells me that his daughters Sarah and Sylvia are moving to the United Kingdom, effective immediately, to study abroad with their extended families. We will miss them dearly, and we wish them all the best.”
The other students gasped, and Mr. Loomis allowed a few moments of silence before proceeding. “Of course, Sarah was a candidate in today’s student council election, and she did receive one hundred and eight votes. But I’m pleased to announce that her departure will not change the results, because the first-place candidate, garnering one hundred and twelve votes, is Robert Arthur!”
The gymnasium erupted with cheers and applause and birdcalls. Glenn whooped his approval and started his chant again—“Let’s GO, Rob-ERT!”—and this time the other students all joined in. “Let’s GO, Rob-ERT!”
He couldn’t believe it. He had won! In the span of a single day, he’d gone from being a total nobody to the most popular kid in school.
“You better get up there,” Karina whispered. “People are waiting.”
As Robert climbed the steps of the stage, he saw his mother standing at the back of the gym, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. She was so proud of him. All his classmates were clapping. Even Howard Mergler was leaning against a wall so that his hands were free to applaud.
“Congratulations, Robert,” Mr. Loomis said, shaking his hand and giving him the microphone. “Would you like to say a few words?”
Just twelve hours earlier Robert had been onstage at the student council debate, and that had been enough public speaking to last him all year. Still, there was something important he needed to say. He waved his hands, calling for silence.
“I’d like to thank everyone who voted for me. Yesterday, I don’t think any of you knew my name. Today, because I hit a bird with a music stand, I’m famous.”
The crowd went nuts, and more birdcalls erupted from the audience. Two goofy boys ran in circles, flapping their arms, pretending to be hawks or eagles.
“But I realized something tonight,” Robert continued. “The best candidate for president isn’t the guy who hits a bird with a music stand. And it’s not the girl who promises free cupcakes every Friday. It’s the person with real ideas for improving this school. And that’s not me.”
Mr. Loomis was flabbergasted. “You don’t want the position?”
“I don’t deserve it,” Robert said. “But I think there’s a person on the ballot who does.”
As Robert left the stage, the audience was silent. Mr. Loomis returned to the podium and fumbled through his notes. “This is completely unprecedented,” he said. “With Mr. Arthur declining the position and Miss Price moving to the United Kingdom—I suppose the winner is the third-place candidate. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the new student council president of Lovecraft Middle School, Howard Mergler!”
NINETEEN
“That was a real dumb idea,” Glenn muttered.
“Excuse me?” Robert asked.
The dance was nearly over, and Robert was back in the bleachers with his best friends.
“We worked all week to win this election. We could have been kings of the seventh grade! But now Howard Mergler will be calling the shots.” Glenn shook his head, disgusted. “Dumb idea.”
“It was the right thing to do,” Karina said. “I’m proud of him.”
“I’m proud of him,” Glenn repeated in a high falsetto. “Give me a break.” The music switched to a slow song—one last dance before the night was over—and the boys and girls were pairing up again. “Lynn Scott’s never going to dance with you now.”
Karina sighed. “Here we go again.”
“I’m not interested in Lynn Scott,” Robert insisted.
“She’s beautiful!”
“If you like her so much,
why don’t you dance with her?”
Glenn shrugged. “I already have a date.”
He was holding Pip and Squeak in his lap. He raised their forepaws, waving them back and forth in time to the music, and the rats chattered happily, enjoying the attention.
“I’m happy right here,” Robert said. “I don’t need to dance with anyone.”
“Me, neither,” Karina said, sitting back and enjoying the music. “I wish we could stay here all weekend.”
When the last song ended and the lights came up, the Lavinias climbed the bleachers to congratulate Robert on his victory.
“Well done, young man,” Warren said.
“We’re very proud of you,” Ms. Lavinia said. “You showed a lot of strength tonight.”
Robert shrugged. “The lemonade did most of the work. It melted their skin right off.”
“I’m talking about the election. Giving the position to Howard Mergler.”
Glenn rolled his eyes. “Such a dumb idea.”
“It was the right move,” Ms. Lavinia said, “but I’m sure it wasn’t an easy move to make.”
“I have bigger responsibilities now,” Robert said.
“You sure do,” Warren said, rubbing his hands together. “We’ve got a huge fight ahead of us. Tonight was just the warm-up. I’m developing a new weapon—”
Ms. Lavinia rested a gentle hand on the back of his diving helmet, interrupting him. “They’ve had enough fun for one night,” she said. “We can talk on Monday.”
“Come to the lighthouse!” Warren told them. “My cthulhus are growing. The aquarium won’t hold them much longer. We need a plan—”
“Monday,” Ms. Lavinia repeated, taking Warren’s gloved hand and leading him away. “Enjoy your weekend.”
Karina stood up. “I should go, too. The janitors will be locking up, and I’ll need a place to hide.”
Robert remembered what Karina had said about long, lonely weekends at Lovecraft Middle School. “Do they ever unlock the doors on Saturday or Sunday? I could visit.”
She shook her head. “There’s no way in or out. I’m on my own until Monday morning.”
As she turned to leave, Pip and Squeak leapt out of Glenn’s lap and followed her, pacing in circles around her ankles, sniffing her shoes. “What do they want?” she asked.
Robert studied them carefully. His pets were acting so peculiar—like they were intent on going home with Karina instead of him. “Call me crazy,” he said, “but I think they’re asking if they can sleep over.”
Karina grinned. “Here? Really? The whole weekend?” Pip and Squeak nodded their heads. “Oh my gosh, Robert, is that cool with you?”
“Sure,” he said. “You’ll need to feed them, but I’m sure there’s stuff in the cafeteria. They eat almost anything.”
“This is awesome!” Karina exclaimed. “I’ll take great care of them, I promise, and you’ll have them back first thing Monday morning.” She looked down at the rats. “We are going to have so much fun together! Wait until you see the teacher’s lounge! They have the best snacks!”
Pip squeaked, Squeak chattered happily, and Karina marched them out of the gymnasium.
By this time, most of the other students had already left. Robert and Glenn found Mrs. Arthur in the lobby, taking down the decorations and placing them in a large cardboard box. It was filled to the brim with skulls, severed hands, and rubber rats.
“The school doesn’t want them, so I thought we’d bring them home,” she explained. “I know how much you boys love Halloween.”
Robert could remember when Halloween was his favorite holiday. He used to love all the blood and guts and crazy creature costumes. Now it didn’t seem quite so fun anymore. But there was no point in spoiling the tradition.
“Cool,” he said. “We can decorate tomorrow, before the trick-or-treaters start coming around.”
“And I’ll make hot apple cider,” Mrs. Arthur said. “Glenn, I hope you’ll join us.”
“Sure,” he said. “I’ll bring some gummy worms.”
The boys waited outside the main entrance with the box of decorations while Mrs. Arthur went to get the car. It was late, and the parking lot was eerily empty. Robert heard the familiar noise of shuffling feet and clanking metal in the distance.
He turned to see Howard Mergler limping along on his forearm crutches. He was still wearing his E=mc2 T-shirt but had ditched the rest of the Einstein costume.
“Hi, guys,” he called.
“Hey, Mr. President,” Robert said. “You need a ride?”
He shook his head. “No, thanks. I’ll manage.”
“You’re sure?” It was nearly eleven o’clock, and Howard lived more than a mile across town. At the rate he crept along, he’d be lucky to get home before dawn.
“I just came over to say thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” Robert said. “You deserved to win. You’re going to make a terrific president.”
Howard stood up straight, full of pride. “I’ll do my best. I have so many plans for our class. And I appreciate your giving me the opportunity. That was really generous of you.”
“My pleasure,” Robert said. “Good luck.”
“I just want to be clear that this doesn’t change things for Master. You destroyed two vessels tonight and he’s very unhappy.”
Robert blinked. “What?”
“This election was meant to be a contest between me and Sarah. Brains versus beauty. A win for Master, either way. You came along and nearly ruined the whole plan.” Howard shook his head sadly. “When I lead our classmates into Tillinghast Mansion, I’m afraid you boys will suffer the worst.”
Headlights flashed over the main entrance. Mrs. Arthur was driving out of the parking lot and heading toward them. Howard reached down, unstrapping the heavy orthotic braces that circled his knees. Then he tossed the braces into the nearest trash can and added the crutches as well. Finally he stood up straight on his own two feet.
“You can walk?” Robert asked.
“Please,” Howard sneered. “Walking is for mammals.”
He turned and sprinted across the athletic field, faster than was humanly possible. In an instant he was just a shadow on the horizon—the shadow of Lovecraft Middle School’s new student council president, beating his enormous wings and rising above the treetops, soaring through the moonlit sky.
Robert stared after him.
Glenn snorted. “Told you it was a dumb idea.”
About the Author
Charles Gilman is an alias of Jason Rekulak, an editor who lives in Philadelphia with his wife, Julie, and their children Sam and Anna. When he’s not dreaming up new tales of Lovecraft Middle School, he’s biking along the fetid banks of the Schuylkill River, in search of two-headed rats and other horrific beasts.
About the Illustrator
From an early age, Eugene Smith dreamed of drawing monsters, mayhem, and madness. Today, he is living the dream in Chicago, Illinois, where he resides with his wife, Mary, and their daughters Audrey and Vivienne.
Monstrous Thanks
Doogie Horner, John McGurk, Jane Morley, Mary Ellen Wilson, Jen Adams, David Borgenicht, Brett Cohen, Nicole De Jackmo, Eric Smith, Moneka Hewlett, Ron Fladwood, Evangeline Young, Audrey Coughenour, Jonathan Pushnik, Mike Russell, Ed and Heidi Milano, Roseann Rekulak, Julie Scott, and Mary Flack.
LOVECRAFT MIDDLE SCHOOL
Is Now Enrolling Students Online!
• GO behind the scenes with author Charles Gilman!
• READ an interview with illustrator Eugene Smith!
• EXPLORE an interactive map of Lovecraft Middle School!
• DISCOVER the secrets of the awesome “morphing” cover photograph!
• And much, much more!
ENROLL TODAY AT
LovecraftMiddleSchool.com
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