“Cool. Hey, you want to sit with me for lunch?”
Sierra flushed an even deeper color, astounded at what he had just asked. Did he just ask me to sit with him? “Um, lunch?” she replied, feeling suddenly tongue-tied and dense.
“Yeah, you know, put food in your mouth, chew, swallow, it goes to your stomach? Nourishment?”
Those sitting at the nearby tables laughed.
Sierra laughed as well. “Thanks, I just finished eating. We’re on our way to the library,” she explained. She rubbed her palms on the thighs of her jeans, to dry their sudden dampness.
“The library?” Dean responded in a tone that sounded as if he had never heard of the place. “You’re kidding.” He grinned at her.
Sierra found herself entranced by the dimple at the corner of his mouth. “Yes, well you know, I need to work on homework so I have more time to ride after school.”
He raised his eyebrow at her quizzically; then shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, maybe another time.”
“Um, sure…thanks.” She turned to go, catching a very amused look on Allison’s face, mouthing to her the word ‘go’.
“Hey, maybe we can ride together sometime,” he called after her.
She turned back, and smiled broadly at his beautiful face. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Give me your number,” he said. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and held it ready to enter the digits.
Sierra gave him her cell number, giggling and turning deeper and deeper shades of red…and very conscious of the spectators watching the unbelievable act of the most popular boy at school asking for the number of a very insignificant sophomore. Inside, her stomach twisted and churned, threatening to project up her just eaten lunch, and her heart palpitated. She felt humiliated! She hated giggly girls. She felt so out of control of her own body as a silly giggle came out of her mouth once again.
“Got it; catch you later.” He winked at her and headed over to where his friends waited expectantly.
“Whoa,” Sierra whispered as she and Allison retreated from the cafeteria.
“Oh my God,” Allison whispered back. “Sierra, he’s interested in you! Why didn’t you go sit with him?”
“I couldn’t! Allison…he can’t be. Maybe he just wants to be friends because we both ride.”
“Right, that’s why he asked you to sit with him in the cafeteria, in front of all his friends.”
“How could he possibly be interested in me?”
“Because you’re beautiful and very sweet,” her friend answered with conviction.
Sierra scrunched up her face in disbelief and laughed. But oh how she wanted to believe.
*****
21 Dean
A horse can only understand corrective guidance that shows him what to do, not the kind that shows only what not to do. – Charles de Kunffy, The Ethics and Passions of Dressage
*****
The rest of the day Sierra struggled to keep her mind focused and pay attention in class. But inevitably, she would find thoughts and images of Dean slipping in between the (so boring in comparison) teachers’ lectures. Then her face would flush and she ducked her head, trying to appear intent on writing notes. Staring at her paper, she saw his deep blue eyes, the dimple when he smiled, and admitted to herself, I am very attracted to him.
After supper that night, Sierra worked on her remaining homework at the kitchen table while her mother worked on her own nursing school assignments. Her cell phone rang and Sierra caught her breath as her heart suddenly raced in anticipation. But it was only Allison on her caller I.D.
“Did he call you?” Allison asked.
“No, I really don’t expect him to,” Sierra replied, trying to conceal the disappointment in her voice. They talked a few minutes longer and said goodbye.
Twenty minutes later when her phone rang again, she experienced the same breathless palpitations, and again let-down when it was Katrina.
“Tell me all the details,” Katrina demanded.
“There’s nothing to tell; I’m sure you heard what happened. All he did was suggest we ride together and asked for my phone number.”
“All he did…Sierra, he hasn’t asked for any other girl’s number at our school.”
Sierra did not know that. They talked a few minutes longer and then disconnected.
“Do you have an admirer?” Pam asked, having tuned into her daughter’s conversations with maternal radar activated.
“I don’t know,” Sierra said pensively, and then told her mother what had happened. “But he’s a senior and he’s already hanging out with the popular kids; so I think his asking for my number really is just because of our interest in horses.”
“Hmm,” Pam said thoughtfully. “Are you attracted to him?”
Yes, very much. But Sierra did not want to admit the words out loud. For some reason, she felt expression of the words would change the whole essence of what had happened. She didn’t really understand the meaning of what had happened. “Well, he is very handsome, and he seems like a very nice, friendly person. I do like him…” She flashed her mother a smile and ducked her head to turn pages of her textbook and hide the flush spreading up from her neck.
Pam studied her daughter, noting the flush of her cheeks. She had sensed the anticipation that Sierra must have been feeling each time her phone rang, and also the disappointment when it was not the boy. She smiled to herself, thinking of her own first crush in high school, and didn’t pry for more information.
“Enough of this,” Pam stated, and yawned, closing her textbook firmly. “I’m going to veg out and watch some mindless television.” She stood and stretched, gathered her books and papers and stuffed them into her backpack. Coming up behind Sierra, she hugged her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. “Having an attractive, older guy pay attention to you can be a heady experience. Keep your wits and your common sense sharp, my darling daughter.”
Sierra leaned into her mother and looked up into her face. “Don’t worry,” she reassured. “We both just like horses, kind of like me and River. River’s older than me too.”
Pam kissed her head again. “Perhaps; at least I believe River would never want to hurt you.”
“I don’t think Dean will hurt me,” Sierra said.
“I certainly hope not.” Pam left her alone then, and Sierra heard the sound of the television in the living room. A few minutes later, she heard her mother’s cell phone ring. Sierra could tell by the tone of her mother’s responses, even though she could not hear the actual words, that she was talking to Ron.
Shame settled onto Sierra’s shoulders as she thought about her resentment of Ron, and her own selfish desire to have her mother’s attention all to herself. How selfish she had been! Now that she found herself interested in someone, she recognized the unfairness of her behavior.
She tried to be polite when Ron was around but she couldn’t help wishing he would leave whenever he came over, which was two to three nights a week. He brought pizza or some other take-out food, and always left soon after they ate; Pam insisting she needed to study. Sierra realized that answering Ron’s questions in as few words as possible, and never asking any questions of her own, and then leaving the kitchen as soon as she had eaten, had been almost as obvious as saying, ‘I don’t like you’. Her mother certainly understood her behavior, although she never scolded her for it. Sierra knew Ron wanted to take her mother out, and it was probably because of her resentment that her mother never accepted a date with him.
She resolved to let her mother know she was okay with Ron coming around, regardless of what happened between her and Dean…because obviously, nothing was going on between her and Dean…it was almost nine, and he hadn’t called. Why hasn’t he called? She gave up trying to do homework and packed up her books.
“I’m going to get into bed and read for awhile,” she said to her mother, giving her a quick goodnight kiss as she passed through the living room to her bedroom. She tossed her school bac
kpack onto her desk and undressed before running into the bathroom for a short shower and brushing her teeth. Once back in her room, she couldn’t help checking to see if she had received any calls before connecting the phone to its charger. Usually, she turned her phone off at night, and now she made no excuses to herself for leaving it on. Maybe he’ll call in the next few minutes…it’s not that late yet.
Sierra’s eyes drooped after only two sentences of her book. She dropped it on the floor and shut out her bedside light. The mental intensity of school and the physical activity at the stable resulted in her almost instantly falling asleep every night as soon as her head hit the pillow.
Something pulled Sierra’s consciousness from her dreaming state. She lay in the dark a few moments trying to clear the fog from her brain. A noise across the room on her desk…she glanced at her bedside clock, 11:22…it’s my phone! She heard it again and lunged out of bed and grabbed up the phone, still plugged into the charger. “Hello?” she spoke in a sleep-husky voice.
“Hi, Sierra.”
She recognized his voice immediately. “Dean,” she whispered.
“Hi,” he repeated. “Were you asleep?”
His voice sounded funny and she heard noise in the background; like music and laughter. “Yeah, well it’s almost 11:30.”
“Oh…(a pause)…really?”
“What do you want?” she whispered, holding the phone close to her mouth. She did not want to awaken Pam.
“I wanted to hear your voice. I’ve been thinking about you.”
Sierra felt herself flush, even in the solitude and dark of her bedroom. “Dean, where are you? Why are you calling me now?”
Definitely she heard laughter in the background. It also sounded like Dean just laughed. But his voice was serious when he said, “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay…” The phone went dead. Sierra stared at its outline in the dark for a few moments, and then turned it off. Weird! Calling this late at night didn’t seem quite right. Nevertheless, he had called her! He’s thinking about me! She crawled back in bed, her mind and emotions whirling. It seemed hours before she was able to go back to sleep.
*****
Dean did not call her the next day. Sierra usually left her cell phone in the bag attached to her bicycle; but today, she stuffed it into her pocket, waiting for his call. She and River fed, turned out the horses, cleaned stalls, took their break, and started their riding assignments, and still Dean hadn’t called. She put the phone back in the bicycle bag when she and River brought their first horses in to ride. Between each horse, she slipped away to check messages. There were none.
“Are you okay?” River asked after the first trail ride together.
“I’m fine, why do you ask?”
“You seem somewhere else today.”
“I’m fine,” she reassured him. “I’ve got a big project for biology that’s been on my mind (partially true), and I stayed up too late studying. I don’t think I got enough sleep.” Why am I lying to River?
He accepted her explanation and didn’t ask any more questions.
At the end of the day, she helped Manuel and River bring in the horses, and then went home, her feelings dejected. He’ll call me tonight. Nobody calls in the middle of the day.
He did not.
Sierra didn’t carry her phone around on Sunday, but she couldn’t help but check it for messages a few times. There were no messages, and Dean did not call Sunday night either.
Sierra did not want to admit to herself and definitely not to any of her friends how disappointed she was. She had reasoned to herself, considering the strange sound of Dean’s voice and the background noise, that he had been drinking at a party, and probably didn’t even remember calling her. The fact that he would have drunk enough to be in a state of forgetting bothered Sierra, and she told herself he was not the kind of guy she wanted to get involved with.
But on Monday, between second and third period when Sierra heard Dean’s voice calling her name in the hall, her heart flipped violently, her face heated up, and she quickly turned around.
“Hi,” he greeted her sheepishly.
“Hi,” she answered, and smiled in spite of herself.
“Did I call you late at night over the weekend?”
He doesn’t remember? So, he had been drunk. “Yeah, you did, like at 11:30. You don’t remember?”
“I kind of do.” He ducked his head and smiled up at her sideways. She felt her heart melting at the sight of the dimple at the corner of his beautiful mouth. “I had the flu over the weekend, and I think I had a really high fever. But I kind of remember getting out of bed and calling you. I fell asleep watching T.V., and I didn’t have any idea how late it was.”
Possible…the laughter and music could have been from a television show. Sierra suppressed all her suspicious feelings. She wanted to believe him. “Oh, I see,” she answered lamely. “You’re better now?”
“Yeah, I kind of slept the weekend away. I didn’t get out to ride at all.”
“Wow, that’s harsh,” she said in genuine sympathy.
“So, uh…you want to try to get together to ride?”
“Sure, I’d like that.”
“What about today; is there a horse I can ride at Pegasus?”
Sierra was a little taken aback. She thought he would trailer over with his own horse. She thought for a minute. Since he was taking lessons from Tess it would probably be okay for him to ride on the property. She could ask Tess if it would be okay for him to ride one of her assigned horses, but of course…he could ride Fiel. “You could ride my own horse…he’s very nice.”
“Great, can I give you a ride after school?”
Another problem; she knew her mother would not allow her to ride in a car with a teenage driver. “How about if we just meet at the stable, around 3:30?”
He winked and gave her his dimpled smile. “It’s a date.”
At lunch, Sierra could hardly wait for Allison to join her, bubbling over with her news. She waved when she saw Katrina, who occasionally joined them before they left for the library. Katrina had her own group of non-horsey friends and she alternated her lunch time between them.
“What’s up?” Katrina asked, scooting into a chair.
“Guess who’s coming to the stable today to ride with me,” Sierra asked with a broad grin.
“Oh my God…Dean?” Allison had come up behind and overheard the question.
Sierra nodded and her two friends squealed in their excitement. Then Sierra told them all about the weekend, the late night call, and his explanation in the hall this morning.
“He said he had such a bad fever that he didn’t realize he had called you at 11:30 at night?” Allison asked suspiciously. “You believe that story?”
“Sure, why not?” Sierra replied defensively, but her few bites of sandwich started to clump in her stomach. It did seem strange. But why would he lie? He didn’t even know her very well.
Allison raised her eyebrows and Katrina said, “Weird.”
*****
Arriving at the stable that afternoon, about 3:15, Sierra looked around hopefully for Dean, even though it was a little early. River had already arrived, for Storm lay in her usual shady spot and she looked up and thumped her tail as Sierra parked her bike. Sierra stepped inside and found River saddling Diva. He smiled as Sierra walked up, and suddenly a wave of guilt rushed over her as she realized he was waiting for her.
Awkwardly, she explained, “Uh, I’m going to wait for a bit. You know that guy who was here taking a lesson from Tess last week?”
“What about him?”
“He’s coming over today to ride with me. I told him he could ride Fiel while I ride Max.”
“You what?” River gaped at her incredulously.
Another wave of guilt hit Sierra. “So, we’re going to ride on the trail together,” she repeated.
River stared at her a few moments, his brow creasing into a deep frown and his eyes narrowing. T
hen without another word, he led Diva away.
“He’s mad,” she stated into the vacant space.
It was after four when Dean finally pulled into the yard in his BMW…actually, almost 4:30. Sierra had both Fiel and Max ready in the crossties, feeling miserable. She feared River would return from the trail and find her still waiting, and now without enough time to ride two horses. She would feel like a total fool if that had happened.
“Hi,” Dean greeted cheerily as he entered the stable, coming towards the crossties. He was dressed in tan riding breeches, polished brown field boots, a tailored royal blue pullover, and carried a helmet. He is so beautiful! Her frustrated, hurt, and angry feelings almost completely dissipated at sight of him; just a niggling dark feeling that she pushed into a back corner of her heart. He had come, and that was all that mattered now.
“You ready to ride?” she greeted him with a smile. “We don’t have a lot of time.”
“Let’s go then,” he replied as he came up to her. Then to her astonishment, he leaned down and kissed her on the lips as if that was the most natural way to greet a friend.
Sierra flushed a deep red and turned quickly away to grab Fiel’s bridle from a nearby hook. “This is Fiel,” she said, turning back around once she felt she had her color back under control. She handed him the reins and then adeptly bridled Max. They each tightened their saddle girths and then led the horses out.
With trembling fingers, Sierra held onto the reins, as she mounted at the field mounting block, thankful she had chosen Max to ride. He was so placid he would not react to her nervousness. Her mind felt numb and besides her trembling fingers, she could feel her face constantly flush and her armpits damp. It didn’t help when River passed by leading Diva, having finished his ride. He glanced at them with a stony expression and Sierra noticed Dean watching River’s back as he led Diva up the hill, a deep frown on his own face.
Dean chattered almost constantly; talking about his own horse, past horses and wins, his other many accomplishments, and a little school gossip. His manner was so easygoing that Sierra at last relaxed, especially since he did enough talking for both of them. All she had to do was make appropriate responses, and kick Max or tap him with her whip to keep him moving forward and close enough to Fiel that she could hear. In moments of silence, she let Max lag back, and she studied with admiration Dean’s elegant posture in the saddle. How handsome he was and how competently it seemed he handled Fiel, who stepped out with his ears pricked, untroubled by the unfamiliar rider.
The Boy Who Loves Horses (Pegasus Equestrian Center Series) Page 22