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by S. W. Andersen


  Sierra turned back to her full glass and issued a sharp answer. “My business is none of your concern, Cam.” Finally lifting the mug to her lips, she took the first sip of her favorite chocolatey stout. A grimace formed and she set the mug down and shoved it away. The beverage had lost it flavor in the presence of certain company.

  Camryn observed with keen interest. She shifted closer as she spoke again. “Oh, come now, it most certainly is.” Leaning into Sierra’s personal space, her voice lowered as she delivered her taunt, “I’m going to beat the snot out of you at next week’s race, make you look slower than a three-toed sloth dragging itself up a hill. And when I do, I don’t want to hear the sob story about you not being in the right state of mind. Especially not over something so pathetic as a broken heart.” She sat back and grinned, then slapped Sierra on the back. “So, woman up already."

  The need to punch someone in the face had never surged through Sierra with as much desire as it had in that moment. Camryn’s smug grin had always rubbed her the wrong way. Add words to the mix and it was no wonder they could never be in a room together for more than five minutes.

  Cam’s smile broadened even more, seemingly delirious with power as Sierra’s eyes burned with anger. “I hit a nerve I see. What is it? Doc got you down?”

  Sierra bolted from her stool and grabbed her by the shirt, her chest heaving with ragged breaths of barely contained fury.

  Camryn didn’t back down. She didn’t even flinch. “We may not like one another, Sierra, but I promise you, we both want you to bring your A game to the mountain, so spill it.” Fierce hazel eyes remained fixed with Sierra’s as she tapped the bar again and held up two fingers.

  Sierra slowly dialed herself down, releasing a breath as she slumped back onto the bar stool. Taking the shot handed to her, she stared at the other woman, whose features had softened as she looked at her with genuine interest. “If you start needling me, I swear to all that is holy I will punch you in the face,” Sierra spat before settling in and detailing the events, including the bike crash and the pathetic hook up with Harley.

  When she finished, she threw back the shot of whiskey and awaited Camryn’s response. Surprisingly, she sat quietly, processing the details that had been laid out and putting real thought into a reply.

  “Which version do you want, the big girl pants or the pull ups?” Camryn inquired with no expression whatsoever.

  Taking a moment to consider the question, Sierra decided she didn’t need any more coddling. If she was serious about making things work with Kara, then she needed it served straight up. “I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”

  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  Sierra groaned and palmed her face. “This was a bad idea.”

  “Not at all. Look, you both share blame in this one, but it’s not like you had any kind of commitment. Hell, you never even had a real date, so you can’t go all out bitch on the woman. I do think it’s funny as shit that you wrecked yourself on some pissed off, two-wheeled, downhill rant though. Wish I’d been there for that one.”

  Sierra narrowed her eyes at Camryn’s amused laugh.

  “I must say, I thought more of you than to go running to that sad-sack ex of yours. If you ever want to make anything work with anyone then you need to put your big girl panties on and deal with shit, not go running for sex with an ex, or drowning in beer, or picking fights. You gotta deal with your shit on an emotional level and dammit, do it before the next race. That is all I have to say about that.” Camryn blew out an exhausted breath and turned on her stool to lean back against the bar.

  Sierra was impressed. “Wow! Who would have ever guessed you had all that insight, Yoda?” She waved at Axel and held up two more fingers.

  “Yeah well, don’t tell anyone or I will be forced to kill you,” she stated with dry wit.

  When their drinks arrived, Sierra held hers up to toast. “I still don’t like you, but I appreciate your advice. Thank you. Next race, may the best woman win.”

  Camryn clinked her glass to Sierra’s and winked. “Oh, I intend to.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Kara flicked on the light in her office and turned to her desk. “Shit!” She jumped back with her hand on her chest, nearly dropping her bag. “You scared the hell out of me, Ronni. How’d you get in here?”

  The young woman was seated in her chair with her feet propped up on the desk. The look on Ronni’s face made Kara’s skin crawl. One, then the other, Ronni removed her feet and then stood. “I know people,” she replied with all seriousness as she folded her arms across her chest. Her crystal blue eyes stared a hole through the doctor.

  Kara was shocked at how intimidating Ronni could be. She placed her bag down, buried her hands in her jacket pockets and stood tall. “What can I do for you, Ronni?”

  “What you did to Sierra was shitty.” She paused as Kara shifted uncomfortably. “She fell hard for you and you screwed her over. She isn’t going to do well at the next race if she’s all messed up in the head over you,” Ronni hissed, pointing her finger dead at Kara. “I can’t say I think you’re worth all the moping, but I want her to be happy, and she was happy with you. So, fix it. Either date her or clear the air, but fix it.” She punctuated her ultimatum with narrowed eyes and a hard slap of her hand against the desk, causing Kara to flinch.

  Kara hadn’t expected to be confronted in such a manner, but never one to be bullied, she kept her steady green eyes fixed on challenging blue ones as she maintained composure. Her stance tightened as she issued a calm reply. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone. It’s regretful the way it turned out.”

  Still eyeing her, Ronni dropped her arms and tapped her index finger against her chin. “Hmm, well you know what they say about regret…” she trailed off, looking to the ceiling as if searching for the right words. Abruptly, she turned her gaze back to Kara. “She’s an evil bitch that never sleeps. Kind of like me,” she ended with a laugh.

  Kara failed to find the humor in her comment. She folded her arms and leaned against the wall as she delivered an icy glare in response.

  “Ohh, stone cold. Brrrr.” Ronni pretended to shake, then swept around to the front of the desk. “Okay, so look…obviously, neither one of you is equipped to handle deep emotions,” she scoffed. “The question is, do you think my best friend is worthy of turning on the defroster in that heart of yours?”

  Kara stood silent. Sierra was worth it and she wanted to give it a shot, but now she had an added concern. Would her emotional short comings be a detriment to Sierra’s racing? Kara didn’t want to be the reason she lost. Her job was to help Sierra get better, not worse. Kara held fast to her closed off position against the wall, her emotions warring within as Ronni patiently waited.

  Finally, Kara released a deep breath and in a nearly robotic tone she said, “I’ve left her several messages. I haven’t heard back.” Steeling her jaw, she pushed off the wall and attempted an air of authority as she tried to maintain her cool, but not hearing from Sierra had been killing her and Ronni wasn’t helping matters any.

  In a complete shift, Ronni softened. “Sierra takes a while to process. She’s passionate. Those strong emotions lead her to lash out when hurt,” she explained. “She’s also stubborn as all hell, which means the ball is in your court. You have to be the one to act if you want her. So, no more phone calls. I’ll get her to Worthy Brewing for lunch tomorrow at noon. Be there or…well, you’re already pretty square.” With a laugh, Ronni walked past Kara, giving her a slap on the back as she went and calling over her shoulder, “Check ya later, Doc.”

  As soon as Ronni was out the door, Kara released her rigid posture. Hiding her feelings always took a lot of energy. Exhausted from maintaining her facade, she dropped her head and took a deep breath as she ran her fingers through her hair. Ronni was right. She had to fix things. She would be seeing Sierra at the races whether she wanted to or not.

  Unfortunately, heartfelt apologies and the discussion of f
eelings were like a foreign language to her. Not knowing the language had never bothered her before, but now she hoped to speak it well enough for Sierra to understand how much she really cared.

  ***

  The next afternoon Kara walked into Worthy Brewing as instructed. Surveying the scene, she saw no sign of Ronni, but Sierra was seated alone at the bar staring at her phone. Her beer sat untouched. Ronni had probably used the ruse of a lunch meet-up to get Sierra out, which meant her presence would be a surprise.

  “Great,” Kara muttered as she made a cautious approach, freezing when Sierra turned. Beautiful bright eyes spread wide as an owl at the sight of her. Was she happy to see her? Was she mad? Her expression was completely unreadable and that only amplified Kara’s nervousness. If she were to gauge her anxiety on a scale of one to ten, her current spike would be well over one hundred, but those feelings paled in comparison to the erratic skip of her heartbeat caused from being near Sierra again.

  Her free hand plunged into her pants pocket. The other held onto a green folder for dear life as she finally stammered, “Umm…Hello, Sierra.”

  “Kara, I wasn’t expecting you to be here,” Sierra stated with an aloofness that still provided no clue as to her current state of mind. Her eyes traveled the length of Kara’s body before she turned away and wrapped her hands around her beer.

  Kara would be lying if she said the lack of enthusiasm hadn’t hurt. Her gaze fell to the floor. “Sorry you weren’t warned.”

  Glancing back over her shoulder, Sierra eased her tone as she clarified, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “I know.” Over the initial awe of seeing Sierra again, Kara fell into doctor mode when she noticed the scratches and bruises marring what had been flawless skin. “What happened to your face? Are you all right?” She took a step forward, wanting to help ease the pain, but Sierra turned back to her drink.

  “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

  As Kara stared at Sierra’s profile, she remembered the adorable shyness the typically confident woman had exhibited when she had walked into her clinic. That seemed like so long ago now. Had Kara not been so shell-shocked that day, she might have swooped in and kissed her right then and there. No, she couldn’t be mad at Sierra for following her heart, but she could be mad at herself at how she had handled the entire situation since day one. Her only defense was that whenever Sierra was near, her brain shut down. She could perform patient exams with her eyes closed, but the second her mind strayed from a practiced routine to free thought, it turned into a jumbled mess. Add Sierra to the mix and it stopped functioning all together.

  The bartender’s voice broke her trance, asking what she would like to drink. After requesting a water, Kara sat a few stools down and studied the woman she had been longing to see again. “You haven’t been returning any of my messages,” she said, her sadness evident.

  “Could we just…” Sierra motioned toward the outdoor patio.

  “Right…umm, okay.” Kara grabbed her glass and followed behind until they reached a table away from everyone else. She paused and took in the amazing view of Mt. Bachelor looming in the distance. Taking their seats, the palpable tension was stifling as both women sat in silence.

  Toying with her glass, Kara figured she should be the one to start. She looked up at Sierra with hope in her eyes as she said, “I’ve missed you, Sierra.”

  “Hmph.”

  The hurt she had caused put a squeeze on Kara’s chest that had her gasping for breath. At least she was being given the opportunity to explain. After all, if Sierra hadn’t wanted anything else to do with her, she doubted this conversation would have lasted this long. “I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t do anything wrong. I never lied to you,” Kara tried to reason. In her mind, she may not have been forthcoming about her relationship status, but she had also avoided crossing the line as a cheater.

  “Flirting with me wasn’t wrong? Not telling me about your girlfriend wasn’t lying?” Sierra snapped.

  Not deterred by the response, Kara refused to go down without a fight—something she never would have done for Jamie. “We hardly know one another, Sierra. I’m not one to spill my secrets to strangers.” Kara paused, inhaling deeply to calm herself before continuing, “We, Jamie and I, had been on a break for three months and I had been meaning to call it off, but I guess I preferred to drown myself in work. It’s a bad habit, as I am constantly reminded.” She glanced down at her glass and then back at Sierra with teary eyes searching for forgiveness.

  Finally showing a kink in the armor, a flash of emotion shone in Sierra’s eyes as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “You really hurt me. I had never had such strong feelings for someone before and now…”

  “I know and I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen this way. The night we stayed out after the ride…it took all I had to pull away from kissing you. I’ve never been drawn to anyone as strongly before either.” Allowing her heart to be her guide, the words came easier than expected. She scooted closer to Sierra, trying to lock onto her gaze.

  “The first time I saw you at the race clinic, I knew I was in trouble. It terrified me, but I couldn’t not see you again. And I tried damn hard to fight it, given my situation,” she said shaking her head. “Then, after our almost kiss, I drove right home. I had planned to break up with Jamie when she came back Monday night and then come back for you, only you showed up, and she was early, and now…now I’ve made a huge mess and I’ve hurt you.” Kara placed her hand over Sierra’s. The contact filled her with a warmth, a comfort she couldn’t explain. A comfort that only seemed to come with Sierra.

  “Please believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you. It’s just…I have trouble thinking clearly when I’m around you. I wanted to do it right, but I screwed it up. Good intentions…Well you know…” she trailed off, exhaling deeply. “Would you please give me another chance?” She gave Sierra’s hand a gentle squeeze and waited, her heart ceasing to beat until an answer was given.

  It had taken a lot for Kara to speak from her soul. Sierra may not have known her well, but she did know she was guarded. Emotion was not the way Kara lived her life, unlike her. Sierra attacked life with gut instinct and little planning, happy to take whatever road it put her on, but determined to leave her own mark along the way. Kara, on the other hand, was analytical and practical and had a plan for everything. This was a huge gesture on her part, but Sierra wasn’t ready to set the hurt aside so quickly. She didn’t trust easily and despite her arguments to the contrary, she didn’t recover easily either.

  “I don’t know, Kara,” Sierra choked out. It hurt too much to look Kara in the eye. “I do appreciate your apology, but it still hurts. I think I need some time to process. I’m not making any promises though.”

  Kara’s strength withered and she pulled her hand away. “Understood. Thank you…um, for listening to me.” She stood from her stool and grabbed the green folder. An awkward silence fell between them once again as Kara stared at the folder and then back at Sierra once, twice, and then cleared her throat. “Sierra, umm…Could I talk to you about something else for a moment?”

  Sierra quirked a brow. What else could there be to say? Perhaps something related to the research, which she would need to decide whether or not to continue. While she may not be ready to forgive yet, she was also not ready for their interaction to end. “Okay.”

  Right before her eyes, Kara transformed from a human full of warmth to an emotionless physician. She righted herself with rigid posture, just as she held herself at work, and pulled a packet from the folder. After staring at the front page for a long minute, she looked up and announced, “Nicole and I would like our clinic to sponsor you.”

  Sierra sat stunned, her mouth agape. A million thoughts ran through her head—some good, some bad. Would she want to tie herself to them with so much going on between her and Kara? Before she could get much deeper in thought, Kara interrupted.

  “I know you and I are a mess right now,�
� Kara hurried, not giving Sierra a chance to cut her off, “but this is a professional offer, regardless of what happens between us. We both agree that we’d like to be a part of your success and still allow you to keep your independence. It’s not a huge contract, but it would reduce the stress of worrying about equipment and travel costs.

  “Plus, we make would no demands other than you race your heart out and do one event per year at our clinic, either a meet and greet or kid’s bike clinic, whichever you’d prefer.” She paused before adding in an almost apologetic tone, “And you don’t have to see me for treatment or the project either, if that helps your decision. We want to get you the best equipment and give you the best shot at the championship. You deserve it.” Kara gave her a sincere smile. “Don’t answer now. Just think about it. Okay?”

  Taking in a deep breath, Sierra’s eyes brightened with possibilities. There were still so many questions, so many things to consider. She had been adamant about not joining a team, but could this be the best of both worlds? She would have to sit with Ronni and read the contract.

  “That’s a…very generous offer. I will certainly think about it. Thank you, Kara, and please relay my thanks to Nicole.”

  With a nod and a soft smile, Kara remained standing as silence fell yet again, but it was not accompanied by the awkwardness from earlier. “Well, I uh…should be getting back. I have a one-thirty appointment. You can call me or Nicole with any questions,” she said, handing Sierra a clinic business card. “We hope to hear from you soon.”

  Kara smiled again, only this time, without the weight of the world on her shoulders and it made Sierra smile in return. “Oh, and you should let someone check out your injuries, so you can heal properly before the next race,” Kara remarked with care in her voice before walking away.

 

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