by A. B. Bloom
"You didn't answer my question." I gave up trying to mentally block him and went for a verbal rebuff. "Why don't you want me to be with Nick?"
He laughed, a jagged tear through the atmosphere. "Because, my love, you're not supposed to be with him."
That boiling bubble in my veins cranked up a few degrees. My eyes narrowed. "Yeah, said who?" This destiny shit was getting old.
"Said me."
"And you would be, apart from really annoying?"
"The one you are supposed to be with." The blues held steady on my face.
I paused, waiting to see if he was being serious. Apparently he was. "According to who?"
"Destiny." He shrugged but a flash of hurt crossed his face. "It seems destiny has got her fine self a bit muddled."
My destiny couldn't be Connor. Surely? There was no pull there at all. Not like the way my entire being anchored to Nick. I frowned and stared at the sheets on the bed.
"It's okay, my love, I appreciate the feelings aren't reciprocated. It leaves us all in a mighty pickle."
"A mighty pickle? Are you five?"
"Love, you can't comprehend how old I am."
"And how long have you known I was your destiny?" This felt like quite an important question.
He looked at me hard. "Since we found out that a half-born would be the one to decide our future."
"But that could have been anyone! It might not have been me."
"I know! it's ironic isn't it?" His lips curved into a sneer that didn't make him look any less attractive. He stood with a powerful gracefulness that appeared effortless. "Get up, it's time for school."
"What, so that's it? You're just walking in, dropping a bombshell and then walking out?"
"Yes, love. Ask your boyfriend about it, or Celeste, hell, ask Kesh if you like." With those words, he stormed out of the tent leaving the canvas door flapping in his wake.
My mind free-falled. I stumbled out of the bed and searched for the lamp on the low table. The tent had pitched into darkness as soon as Connor had left with his blue tinted energy. It wasn't light outside—the darkness was getting worse. It was spreading like a plague, stretching through the hours it stole from daylight. My stomach tightened as I tried to think of the future along with Connor's revelations. The tent was dark and I knew I needed to try and light it somehow. As I didn’t magically glow an illuminating colour, I was going to have to do it the old fashioned way. I didn’t think electricity was going to be an option at “Camp.” I remembered the oil lamp from the previous evening and stumbled across the tent in the dark to find it.
I'd never lit a gas lamp in my life. After a few tries, I worked out how to pull the wick and turn the small dial until the gas flowed onto the thread. I lit it with a slim silver lighter, which had been next to the lamp, and looked around the tent as the light grew. I found the tent strangely familiar, which was odd, considering I'd only stayed one night. When I looked closer, I realised why it looked familiar. My belongings from my bedroom were scattered around. A picture of Lauren and I, taken last summer, in a white wooden frame was now on the mahogany table in the corner. I walked over to it and picked it up in my hands. My eyes stung as I looked at myself only a year before, a year before I turned sixteen and weakness overtook me. A year before I knew what I was. A year before Nick had turned up, sat on a picnic bench on the school lawn, and changed my entire life. Nick, who I wasn't supposed to be with . . ?
It felt wrong. Something was wrong.
The low ottoman, which Nick had sat in the previous night, now held a stack of my clothes. He must have brought them for me last night, that's why he was at my house. A sprig of heather lay on top of the clothes, and my eyes stung a little sharper.
"You okay?" Celeste walked through and saw me holding the photo of Lauren and I. "Still want to go to school?"
"I thought it was mandatory?" I laughed a little and it lifted my heart a fraction.
"Education is very important." Celeste effected a grave expression, making me snigger.
"And where did you go to school?" I teased.
"I am infinitely wise." She came closer, taking the frame from my hand. "You can't tell Lauren what's going on, Bron. She won't understand. She loves you, but it will push her too far."
"I understand." I prickled.
"Yes, because it's your destiny. When you found out, Nick was just unlocking the information that your soul already knew. Humans don't have that capacity."
I nodded slowly. The darkness terrified Lauren. I wish I could tell her it would be okay. I wish I could tell her I would make the right decision no matter how hard, but right there in that moment, I couldn't. Looking at the beautiful Celeste, I couldn't imagine her not existing. The thought of Nick no longer being a tangible entity made my entire focus swing out of control. I knew if he was human and I'd met him, loved him, he would have died one day, but it wouldn't have been at my hand. It wouldn't have been my choice and we would have had an entire existence together first. Maybe. It seemed crazy but the connection I experienced between us left me no doubt. It felt like iron links were tying me to him and that I could gravitate towards him anywhere at any time.
They were talking now. No time at all.
"You can't think like that," Celeste murmured.
"What was Connor talking about?" I knew she knew. The last conversation would be running through my head like a terrible movie.
She tutted and shook out the bed sheets, sniffing, she gave a small smile.
"Did you smell my sheets?" Gross.
"Guessing I didn't have to worry about you being alone last night?"
I flushed crimson. "It wasn't like that" I held my hands up.
"Oh, I know. Nick is full of honour, even if he cuts off his nose to spite his face."
"So what Connor said was true?"
She shrugged. "Meh, what's true is true. We don't know how this will turn out."
I turned to face her. "But you are expecting me to pick daylight and let you all die?"
She shrugged again. "Come on, let's get ready for school. Are you hungry?"
I thought hard—I couldn't even remember the last time I'd eaten. "No."
Celeste smiled. "You know, despite your obvious disabilities, I think your star side is the stronger of the two."
"Disabilities! That's rude!"
Celeste tinkled a laugh that lit the tent. "Get yourself ready for school then."
I groaned and grabbed my stuff.
"No . . . See, like this." Celeste closed her eyes and her face transformed into a serene mask of concentration. Before my very eyes, she was overtaken by a vibrant glow of rose. When the dazzling array faded, Celeste was in a different outfit; a vibrant, red, jersey replacing her the black shirt she'd had on only moments before. Her hair was spiralled into perfect ringlets and my hair envy cranked a notch.
"Wow." I stared at her in disbelief. "How did you do that?"
She shook her hair over her shoulder where it hung like a glossy silver blonde curtain of curls. "It's easy. It's just a glamour, a simple manipulation of matter."
"Like, matter, the stuff the universe is made from?"
"Yes, that. It's what creates everything—even you and me. Once you can understand it, you can manipulate it to your heart's content. That's why your mum believes you are asleep in your bedroom." Celeste shrugged. "I manipulated the matter she saw, so as far as she knew, she saw you walking up to bed after giving her a kiss goodnight."
"Who did she see going up the stairs?" I couldn't get my head around any of this.
"Me." Celeste trilled her laugh and waved her hands in my direction. "Come on. Have a go. Focus like you did yesterday when you found the tents."
I tried to harness the sensation I'd had yesterday standing by the wall to the moor. I allowed the energy to ripple away from me, creating a tangible link with the atmosphere. I couldn't believe it was happening, but it was, I could feel it tingle through the fibres of my body.
"Very good," Celeste murmu
red with approval. "Now visualise what you want to look like and how it would feel. Then pull the sensation in closer to you, until it becomes one with you."
In all honesty, I wasn't sure if she was having a laugh but I gave it a go. I imagined my hair smooth and sleek, and soft leather boots on my feet, like the kind I could never afford to buy. Maybe I'd want my jeans to fit me perfectly as well. I visualised it until it felt like it couldn't be anything other than real. Until it felt like it was something I’d always had. Then I opened my eyes. I found a pair of dark denim jeans clinging to my legs. An ivory, cotton shirt perfectly matched the soft, dark, leather boots that stopped just below my knee. They made my legs look far longer than they actually were.
"Were you going for a bad perm?" Celeste asked and my hands sprung up to my head.
"Oh no." My fingers found tight, frizzy, corkscrew curls—nothing like the sleek smooth sheen of hair I'd visualised. "Please fix it," I pleaded. I would rather get taken out by the hunter than step out of the tent looking like that. And as for going to school—hell, that was hard enough on a normal day.
She cocked her head. "I kind of like it. Look in the mirror." She guided my shoulders to a gilt frame. At first I didn't recognise the person staring back at me. I hadn't looked at myself properly since I'd woken from the coma only a couple of days before. It felt like a lifetime ago. I'd known I was getting stronger. My star power filling me with the energy I'd been lacking since my birthday. But the girl with the bright dark eyes and glossy curls was nowhere near what I was expecting.
"That's not me," I exhaled. The girl in the mirror also let out a deep breath of air.
"Sure is, sister. I could see it when you were in hospital, and now, your transformation is nearly complete."
"Transformation into what?" I was breathless with surprise.
"Into a star."
"What did you do last night?" Lauren and I picked our way across the lawn. She was holding onto my arm like she was still expecting me to fall down at any moment. I found myself faltering my steps so she wouldn't be able to tell the change in me. I could have sprinted circuits around the school and performed multiple cartwheels . Her fingers bit into my elbow and made me realise just how much she had been holding me upright these last few months. It made the truth I was holding back from her all the more bitter to swallow. When she’d seen me, she’d narrowed her eyes at my new curls, but hadn’t questioned anything. I was surprised but grateful. I didn’t think I could lie anymore.
"I just went to bed early," I said, "I think I'm still recovering from whatever the hell that was." I shook my hand in vague reference to the previous week that had contained a coma and miraculous recovery. My words swirled in acid and I fought to keep it down.
Lauren raised a perfectly arched eyebrow. "Are you sure you weren't with Nick?"
I burned a little at the mere mention of his name. The iron chains that linked me to him rattled their weight in acknowledgement. He wasn't there and my body knew it, was mourning it. I hadn't seen him as I'd departed the camp for school. I'd blatantly asked where he was, causing Connor's eyes to flash with anger. ‘He was on patrol,’ that's all they would say. Patrol for the hunter that would kill me if he could.
"What makes you think that?" I asked, keeping my tone light.
"Because I saw you guys having some deep conversation out here yesterday. Honestly, Bron, the way he looks at you makes him look like a man on fire, it's kind of hard to miss it."
"A man on fire?" I doubted that somehow. It’s how I felt about him, a girl on fire, but it wasn’t reciprocated. If it were, he wouldn't be able to stay away. I shook my head. "It was nothing."
"Sure." Before she had a chance to say anything more, she gasped. "Woah, look at Heavy Ellie." She gestured across the lawn, the hunched shape of Eleanor scurried across the pathway. Her hair swung in a thin ponytail and looked like it hadn't seen water let alone shampoo for days. Her step was uneven.
"Jesus, do you think she's drunk?" Lauren's mouth was wide open, her eyes seemingly standing on stalks.
"I have no idea, should we ask her if she's okay?" The colour of her soul, her energy, was a sickly yellow and it limped around her body like wet rags.
Lauren turned. "Are you kidding?" She placed her hands on her hips. "After what she's put you through, you want to ask her if she's okay, just because she's forgotten how to use a hairdryer?"
I raised my hands. "Okay, okay, it was just a suggestion."
"Let's not have crazy suggestions again in the morning." She wagged a warning finger. "Otherwise I will take you back to that hospital myself."
"Yes, ma'am."
We carried on to the school entrance. I didn't feel my usual buzz for learning, even though I knew English was first on my timetable. What I wanted to be was back at the camp learning about the Stars, trying to understand this war splitting the sky. And if I was being honest, keeping one eye open, hoping to catch sight of Nick as he ‘patrolled.’
"What did you do to Connor?" Lauren asked, just as we were about to go our separate ways. At first I wasn't sure what she meant. It was taking a while adapting to her knowing all their names, but then I guess that was the power of the glamour. Something else I had to get my head around. Either way, it was a lie. Again, the acid taste filled my mouth.
"What do you mean?" I shrugged, but my cheeks flamed a pale pink. "Well, why's he glaring at you and walking twenty paces behind us?" she asked. I spun and found that she was right—Connor was lurking with intent, his steps matching mine. His scowl was impressive and dented his otherwise strikingly handsome face.
I gave him a small smile, "I have no idea." I told her. I saw him lift one corner of his mouth when he heard my words. "Come on, let's do this day." I bounded up the stairs two at a time.
"What's with the Olympic athleticism?" she panted as she took the fifteen steps one at a time.
"Just keen to learn, I guess." I slowed my steps to a reasonable pace and turned for home room. "See you at lunch."
Lauren looked at me like she might be seeing me for the first time. "Sure," she said, although she didn't sound sure at all.
Connor brushed past me into the classroom. "Calm it down, love. You're lit up like a firecracker on bonfire night." I turned my lips up at him in my finest sneer but he ignored me. I could feel the gaze of other students lingering on me. People who had known me all my life, who’d watched me disintegrate these last few months. Now, I was marching around school, parading hair salon perfect curls, and an outfit I would never have been able to afford. Let alone would have attempted to wear. I needed to get a handle on this new energy of mine, otherwise the secret battle in the sky would no longer be so secret.
The morning passed with little excitement. It felt good to be at school, to be doing something familiar, even if it was dozing through English. I kept hoping that I'd turn in my seat and find Nick folding a paper airplane, but instead, out of the corner of my eye, I could just see Connor. Scowling, twitching and flicking the pages of the worn paperback he'd been given with a frustrated irritability.
His whispered hiss that I was his destiny kept running through my head. Destiny. What did it mean to be someone's destiny? What if they weren't yours?
I wondered why he didn't have to hide behind a baseball cap the way Nick did. None of the other Stars hid themselves from me, only Nick. Why was that? Was it something to do with Connor and the fact Nick knew that I was in someway destined to him?
I needed to know more. I snapped my folders shut with a resolute bang when the bell for the end of the lesson rang. The ring induced a relieved sigh from the thirty students in the room. Connor's sigh was the loudest. I marched past him and swung out into the hallway, where I smacked straight into Eleanor, knocking her flat onto the floor.
"Shit," I exclaimed. At first, I wasn't sure who it was. "Oh," I said, when I realised just who I'd bulldozed out of the way. I hesitated. Was I supposed to help her up or leave her sprawling, which is what she'd done to me frequently bef
ore? I turned, ready to leave but my eyes focused on her hands and knees on the floor. "Here." I held out my hand, she looked at it with venom before deciding to take the helping hand no matter who gave it. "You okay?" I didn't want to stop and make pleasantries but now I could see her closer, she looked terrible. Her eyes were sunken, her mouth pinched and lined. The sickly yellow hue permeated not just the aura around her, but also her skin.
"Fine," she snapped.
"Okay." I went to walk on past. I still needed to find my answers. I planned to track down Celeste and harass her until she spilt the cryptic secrets they were all still holding tight. Because there were secrets, of that I was sure.
Eleanor's fingers shot out and grabbed my arm. "Nice hair," she said, her eyes ogling at my glamour created curls.
"Thanks, I got inventive with my straighteners."
She snorted. "Like you've ever used straighteners in your life."
I smiled, my lips remaining closed. "Well, now I have. Where are yours?"
She eyed me—the whites of her eyes were a yolky yellow. My hatred softened a little. "Eleanor, are you sure you're okay?"
"Back off, bitch."
And again with the hatred. I shrugged and smiled. "See you later."
"I'll see you in Phys. Ed," she called, "Oh no, that's right, your mummy won't let you do it."
I wanted to turn around and deck her to the floor. Instead, I decided to see her in Phys. Ed and crucify her with my new found physical abilities.
I stalked to the dinner hall. Lauren was at our table, Celeste was with her—staring at a green apple like it was a mortal enemy. "What's up?" Lauren's eyes glanced over me and I wondered again how long she'd been on constant high alert.
"Nothing, I knocked over Eleanor by accident, it was no biggy."
Lauren's face dropped. "Oh shit, are you going to end up covered in lasagne again?" She cringed a little at the memory. Funny that my main memory of that fateful lunch was being locked in the toilets with Nick. I'd been so sure he would kiss me, lasagne and all, only to be disappointed when he didn't.