“He didn’t tell me. His friend Ethan showed up here and told me. He didn’t realize that I had no idea that Alek was Laz from Midnight Steel. When Alek walked out and saw his friend, his face went as white as a ghost. He knew he was fucked.”
“Corie! You never use that word!”
“Well, he was! He lied to me for months, and he expected me to forgive him. I loved a man I didn’t even know, Kels. How could I ever trust him again?”
Kelsey was heartbroken for her friend. She knew Corie had fallen head over heels for Alek. “Did he say why he lied about who he was?” she asked.
Corie rolled her eyes. “He gave me a story how he was tired of the rock and roll life. That he left the band after their last show to get away and he ended up here that stupid night of the blizzard. He said he never meant to stay on, and he didn’t want me going all fangirl on him. He liked being a regular guy. But then we started to get serious, and he said he didn’t know how to tell me, even though he knew he had to.”
“I can kind of see that,” Kelsey said. When she saw Corie glare daggers at her, she quickly explained. “Okay, listen to me. I had no idea when I told you about him, what would happen. What his reason would be not to tell you the truth. That he’s a dirtbag for lying to you is a given. But I know more about these guys than you do. Imagine living your life not being able to go anywhere without people knowing you.”
“You didn’t know him, and you’re a fan,” Corie interrupted.
“True, but he cut his long hair. The short cut makes him look very hot, better than the long, but he didn’t look like the Laz I knew. Plus, why would a rock star be here in Ashland? C’mon, no one come here,” Kelsey told her. “Right?”
“Anyway, these guys are in the biggest most famous band in the world. They get mobbed wherever they go. Imagine not being able to even get a cup of coffee without being recognized and being asked for a selfie or autograph. They have a security detail that travels with them because it gets so bad at times. And now he ends up hurt and sick in your front yard. You don’t recognize him, and he can have a normal conversation without someone going all fangirly on him. I bet he was relieved to be treated like a regular guy for a change. And after that, he just got stuck in his pretend life.”
“You make it sound like he should have lied to me.”
Kelsey shook her head. “No, that’s not what I mean. But just try to see it from his point of view a little. Neither of you expected to fall in love, and by then he had already told you that he was Alek. I don’t think he meant to deceive you, I think he just had no idea how to fix it.”
“I don’t know, Kels. This brings back too many bad memories. I’m just not sure I could trust him again.”
“And that’s solely your decision to make. I just want to make sure that you are looking at it from both sides. How about I go get us a bottle of wine, and we talk more. I think there’s more to your comment about ‘bad memories’ that I need to know about. I can stay as long as you need me, even all night long if that’s the case.” Corie was her best friend. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t so to help her.
“Thank you, Kels. This is why I love you. The wine’s on the right side of the fridge,” Corie said with a slight smile.
“Great, I’ll be right back.” Kelsey was almost out of the room when something Corie said hit her, and she stopped dead in her tracks. “Wait! You said his friend Ethan came here? Ethan Madden? Sexy and incredibly hot lead singer, Ethan? Black hair, tight jeans and the most incredible green eyes…that Ethan?”
That got a chuckle out of Corie. “Yes, that Ethan.”
“Well hell. We may need two bottles of wine. I need to hear every single detail about him. Every one!”
The two friends spent the afternoon talking, and Kelsey was able to make Corey laugh a few times. But as night set in and as much as the two friends enjoyed each other’s company, Corie sent Kelsey home. As she drove down the dark lane that would bring her out to the county road Corie lived off of, Kelsey knew that she was still leaving her best friend with a broken heart. If she saw Alek or Laz, whatever he was calling himself she would give him hell for hurting Corie. Maybe in time Corie would forgive him, and they could work things out, but for now, she was certain that her friend was most likely crying again. Falling in love was heartbreaking.
Chapter 15
Alek did not say one single word after they got into the expensive sports car. He listened to his friend curse their way out of the dirt drive since there was no way to avoid the potholes left by winter weather. He and Corie had meant to get them fixed but just hadn’t gotten to it yet. It was now something he no longer had to worry about.
It took them almost five long hours of continuous driving to get to downtown Boston. Ethan had called the Ritz Carlton on their way down and reserved them a couple of rooms.
Several times during the drive, Ethan had tried to get Alek to talk to him, but he was completely ignored. Alek stared silently out the passenger car window for the entire trip. He rarely even looked towards his friend.
He had fucked up. Badly.
Alek knew he should have told Corie a long time ago who he was, but he got caught up with them being together and how he was falling in love. Every day it got harder and harder to tell her. And now, it completely blew up in his face. He had lost the best thing that had ever happened to him. Alek was even considering giving up the band for her, that’s how much he loved her. The day she rescued him during the blizzard, she not only saved his life but changed it too.
He realized what he had with Caroline wasn’t love. He thought it was, but it was more like an extreme lust. They had a hot crazy sex life, but when it came down to it, that’s all they had. With Corie, he found someone he could talk to and while they did have all that nonstop sex that new relationships tend to have, they could also just sit around and watch a movie or just read. Just being with her made him happy. He was unequivocally in love with Corie.
There was no way he would have ever considered leaving the band or changing anything in his life for Caroline. Corie was an entirely different story. He’s do anything for her, except apparently telling her the truth about who he really was. That just showed how screwed up he really was.
He hated himself right now. This was completely his fault, and he had no one to blame except himself. If he had manned-up and confessed everything early on, he wouldn’t be heading away from the woman he loved. She despised him right now, and he didn’t blame her. When Corie had sent him away and told him to forget all about her, it crushed him. How could he forget what they had? His heart utterly belonged to her.
When the car finally pulled into the front of the luxury hotel, Alek got out and grabbed the smallest bag he had. Nothing else needed to come in with him, especially the guitar. The last thing he wanted to see was anything that reminded him of why Corie hated him. Midnight Steel was the reason.
The car was valet parked much to the delight of the young attendant waiting at the valet stand. Alek stood back and let Ethan check them in. When they got in the elevator, Ethan suddenly blurted out, “Man, you need to talk to me.”
Alek turned and glared at his friend.
“Don’t blame me for this,” Ethan told him. “I had no idea that you lied to her about who you were. What did you do, fall in love and lose every bloody brain cell you had?”
Alek spun around towards his friend and shoved him up against the wall of the elevator. “Fuck you, Ethan! You have no fucking idea what you are talking about! Why didn’t you stay out of my life? Why the bloody hell did you have to come here and ruin everything!”
“Laz, get your arm off my throat. Now!” Ethan growled at his friend. “Now.”
Alek hadn’t even realized that he had his forearm pressed up against Ethan’s throat. What the hell was wrong with him? This was Ethan, who had been his friend since he was ten when they stole apples together from a local outdoor market. He took a step back and released his hold on Ethan. “I’m sorry,” he said
softly.
The elevator doors opened, and they stepped out into the hallway. Alek extended his hand for his room key. “No,” Ethan told him firmly. “Not until I understand what’s going on with you. My room first.”
As much as Alek didn’t want to talk, he knew he owed it to his friend. Maybe Ethan could help think of a way out of this mess he created. “Alright.”
They found Ethan’s room and dropped their bags inside. Alek sprawled out his long frame on the sofa while Ethan grabbed a couple of beers from the mini fridge and handed one to Alek. With a quick twist off of the cap, Alek drank half of it down right away.
“Okay, so I get that you didn’t tell her about who you were. And I know you were a bloody pain in the ass the whole last half of the tour and I definitely didn’t understand it. We’re living our dream, man. This is what we worked so hard for those early years when we could only find gigs in those fucking dive bars. We on the top, Laz. We’ve been here for a while with no signs of the fans letting us fall. We have fame, fortune, and women, so what about that was so bad that you began to hate everything. Make me understand,” Ethan said.
Alek took a smaller swig of beer this time before answering Ethan. “I’m not sure I understand myself. We are living the life you and me always talked about, and I loved it all. We’ve been doing this for years, but some time in one of the dozens of cities we passed through, I realized it wasn’t enough anymore. I love you and the band, and playing live on stage is the best rush I ever experienced, but I wanted more. I wanted to run off stage still on that adrenaline high we get, covered in sweat and know I had someone there for me. Not the groupies that follow us or the new girls that show up in each city, but someone I was excited to see. Someone who wanted me…for me. Those chicks on the road want me for who I am and my money. They want Laz the rock star and the glamorous life they think that comes with it, they don’t want me…Alek. With everything we had and everything we were, I was lonely.”
For years he used women like that to get what he wanted from them, sex…pure and simple. They wanted to sleep with a rock star, and he was more than happy to oblige them. New city, new women, and a new one night stand was what they lived for, except he didn’t want that anymore. He wanted someone to love him – Malcolm Alexander Lazare, the man his family still called Alek. He enjoyed staying home and relaxing most evenings. After living on the road for so long, quiet nights at home was all he wanted. People thought he partied all the time and lived the rock star lifestyle, but that wasn’t him.
He had moved his parents out of Tottenham years ago, and they were comfortable in the house they had in Southgate. He had offered many times to move them to the more affluent Chisholm or even where he was in Chelsea, but they were happy where they were. Alek didn’t blame them as he knew they were more comfortable living among people who led lives similar to them. They refused to let their lives reflect that their only son was a millionaire rock star.
Alek lived in a big expensive house that was professionally decorated. He hadn’t had the time to even consider doing that himself. But, it was cold, sterile, and he hated it. The only room he enjoyed was the one place he had made into his own. He took one of the salons and filled it with comfortable furniture, his guitars, and a big screen TV. That was all he needed.
That’s why he enjoyed being at Corie’s so much. Her house was so comfortable and homey, yet upscale that he loved every bit of it. For a kid that grew up in the city, he found life in the country pure heaven. He wanted that back. He wanted her back.
Alek drained his beer. “When I had that accident, and Corie found me, I wasn’t thinking straight. Eth, I was frozen being out in that blizzard and scared to death when I woke up. I was stuck in the car, and she was able to get me out. I thought I was going to die out there. So, when she asked my name, I said the first thing that popped into my head – Alek. Once we made it to the house, I realized that she didn’t recognize me, so I just went with Alek. It was so good to be treated like an ordinary person, without someone fawning all over me. Then more I got to know her, the more I was falling for her.”
“Why didn’t you tell her then who you were, Laz?” Ethan finally said. “There was no way you could hide that from her forever. Midnight Steel is too big.”
“I know,” he agreed. “I just didn’t know how to tell Corie and not have her get mad at me, so I said nothing.” He saw Ethan shaking his head. “I know. I was an absolute fucking idiot not to have told her, but I didn’t know how. Now she won’t listen to me. Fuck, Eth, she told me to forget all about her. How the fuck do I do that? This is killing me.” Alek’s voice broke on those last few words. He closed his eyes tightly as he felt the tears start.
“Then I say you need to figure out a way to fix this. Maybe start by calling her. She’s hurt and angry, and you need to make her realize that you know you fucked up, and it will never happen again,” Ethan told him. “Here’s your key, go call her.”
Alek quickly wiped his eyes, embarrassed by the tears. He stood up and took the key card packet from Ethan. He took a few hesitant steps towards the door before stopping and turning back to his friend. “Thanks, man. I could always count on you.”
Ethan raised his beer in acknowledgment and Alek headed out the door to find his own room.
The next morning that’s where Ethan found him, in his room passed out drunk on the bed and still in the clothes from the night before. Having been through this before when Laz split with Caroline, he had held onto the second copy of the room key. “Laz, man wake up,” Ethan said with a long sigh. “C’mon man, get the fuck up.”
“Leave me alone,” Alek mumbled after Ethan had shaken him several times.
“No, man. Get your ass up.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re better than this. Get in the shower and sober up!”
Alek sat up slowly rubbing his eyes. His head was spinning, his mouth was dry, and the last thing he wanted to do was get up. “How did you get in here?” Ethan held up a key card. “Give it to me,” Alek demanded.
Instead, Ethan put it in his back pants pocket. “Sorry, man. I’ve been down this road with you before. I take it you couldn’t get in touch with Corie?”
“No. I left her a dozen messages and even more texts before she sent me the text on my phone.” Alek picked up his cell off the nightstand next to the bed, scrolled until he found the message and handed it to Ethan.
Corie wrote, “Stop calling me. I do not want to talk to you. You did this. You ruined us by lying to me. We’re done. Finished. Just leave me alone.”
“The only thing left for me to do was get drunk,” Alek said after Ethan handed him back the phone. “She hates me, so what else am I going to do?”
“You’re going to shower, mate. Then we’re going to get something to eat. I can have us on an evening flight back home tonight.”
Alek got up off the bed, but stopped halfway to the bathroom, when he heard Ethan say that they were heading back to London tonight. He didn’t want to go, but there was no reason to stay in the states. Corie made that perfectly clear.
It was time to head home.
Corie didn’t sleep at all during the night. First, Alek kept calling her nonstop, so she had to finally take the home phone off the hook Then after she sent him the text telling him to leave her alone, she turned off her cell too. The rest of the night was spent lying on the sofa wondering how he could have done this to them. Why was he pretending to be someone he wasn’t? And why didn’t he think he could tell her who he was? Apparently, he hadn’t trusted her at all. If there was no trust, then there couldn’t be love. There was no way she trusted him now.
But sadly, she knew that she still loved him. She was her own contradiction which was why turning him away was so hard. She had to be able to trust him and right now she didn’t. He was just another guy in a very long list of guys that had betrayed her. They always did. Why couldn’t they be like the guys she always wrote about. They weren’t perfect, but at least t
hey never cheated or lied to the heroine in each of her stories.
She quickly sat up on the sofa her eyes wide with the realization that her new story was more like her life than she realized. Grayson, the Prince, had told Olivia that he had lost his job in the financial world and decided to travel for a little while. Grayson was her Alek. She was going to have her female lead get upset, but forgive him when he professed his love for her. How could she have that happen now when couldn’t she forgive Alek?
That’s when Corie realized that real life was so much more painful. Her books were nothing but fairy tales with happy endings, but real life was seldom that way. How could she finish the book that was so personal to her when it hurt so much? It was so easy to write about Olivia and Grayson when she had been so happy, but now it killed her to think of what Grayson was doing to Olivia. He was lying to her just like Alek has done to her. There was no way that Olivia should forgive Grayson if she couldn’t forgive Alek. She couldn’t write a lie, but she was so far into the book that there was no way for her to change it again. DeeDee would be furious at her, plus there wasn’t enough time for her to go back to the novel she started before Alek crashed into her life.
Deep down she knew that something was off about him, but she chose to ignore it. It was scary how close to reality her book had become. It was like her subconscious knew he was lying to her the entire time.
“I was such a fool!” she yelled as she threw a pillow across the room. “Damn him for thinking he could con me with his lies. If his friend hadn’t shown up, I’d still be stupidly thinking he was the perfect guy.”
Corie got up from the sofa, and after a full night of crying, she was determined it was time to pull herself together. The first thing she did was go upstairs and change the sheets on the bed. Anything that Alek had left there or reminded her of him was thrown out. There was a t-shirt, a razor, and some assorted toiletries that made it into the wastebasket. That was just what she found in the bathroom.
Pieces of Me (Midnight Steel Trilogy Book 1) Page 18