His breath caught as the full weight of the phrase their son struck him. Daniel wasn’t just his son now, he was Rose’s son, as well, now that she’d met him. There was no point pretending that it didn’t alter the dynamics of their relationship. He would have to learn to share Daniel and he wasn’t sure if he could do that. Daniel was the most important person in his life, and he couldn’t help worrying how it was going to affect his relationship with him if he had to add Rose to the equation.
He also couldn’t help worrying about the effect it was going to have in other areas of his life as well. There was no point pretending that he didn’t find her attractive—that episode in the lift had disproved that once and for all! But it would be wrong to allow the attraction to develop. The situation was complicated enough without that!
The two hours Rose spent with Daniel flew past. They found a quiet spot beneath some trees where they could sit down on the grass and talk.
Daniel asked her a lot of questions, and listened attentively while she described her childhood growing up as an only child in a small Cornish village. He seemed interested in everything she had to say, but Rose guessed that he was leading up to the main question he wanted to ask her, which was why she’d had him adopted. She had already decided that she was going to tell him the truth. Even though she had no idea how he would react, it was important that he knew all the facts. It would be up to him what happened after that.
‘Did you never think of keeping me when you found out you were pregnant?’ he said diffidently when she paused.
‘Yes, I did. I made up my mind that I was going to bring you up myself. Only things didn’t work out the way I hoped they would.’
She glanced down, steeling herself before she continued, because she still found it hard to talk about that period in her life. ‘My parents were horrified when they found out I was pregnant. They tried to persuade me to have an abortion, and when I refused they sent me to stay with a distant cousin who lived just outside London. They didn’t want everyone in the village finding out, you see.’
‘It must have been really hard, having to go and live with strangers,’ Daniel said quietly.
‘It was. I didn’t know a soul in the area, and the people I was staying with weren’t exactly sympathetic to my plight. I think they’d only agreed to take me in because my parents had paid them.’
‘How old were you?’
‘Just seventeen.’ She shrugged. ‘At least I was someplace safe and not living on the streets, which is what happens to a lot of young girls.’
‘I suppose so. So what happened after I was born? Did you go back home then?’
‘No, I never went home again. I had hoped that my parents would accept the idea of me having a baby once you were born, but they didn’t. When I phoned them and told them that I intended to keep you they refused to have anything more to do with me. The people I’d been staying with had made it clear that I couldn’t return to their house, so I had to find somewhere else to live when I came out of hospital.
‘I came to London and stayed in a hostel while I found us a place to live. I was determined that I would manage somehow, but I soon realised how impossible it was going to be to provide for you. I was just seventeen years old and I had no qualifications and little hope of getting a decent job. Added to that, the flat I’d found for us was in a very rough area—we were burgled three times in the first month we were living there and all our belongings were either trashed or stolen. There was also a lot of violence and drugtaking on the estate, and it was that which convinced me in the end that I had to let you be adopted. I couldn’t bear to imagine what might happen if we had to live there while you were growing up.’
‘I see.’ He bit his lip, and Rose could tell that he was upset by what he’d heard.
‘I wish I could have kept you, Daniel. It broke my heart to have to part with you, but I did it because I loved you. I wanted you to have all the things I couldn’t provide for you. I wanted you to have a happy and secure life.’
‘What about my father? Couldn’t he have helped? Or didn’t he know about me?’
Rose sighed when she heard the belligerence in his voice. ‘Yes, he knew about you, but he didn’t want to get involved. He’d just finished his finals and a baby wasn’t part of his plans for the future.’
‘So he just dumped you when he found out you were pregnant?’
‘Yes. I suppose you could put it that way.’
‘And you’ve never heard from him since?’ he persisted.
‘No. I can tell you his name, if you want to know it, but I have no idea where he’s living now. I haven’t seen him since before you were born.’
‘There doesn’t seem much point if he’s not interested,’ he said bitterly.
‘Don’t think too badly of him, Daniel. He just wasn’t ready for fatherhood and couldn’t cope with the responsibility of having a child.’
‘Maybe not, but he could have done something. You wouldn’t have had to give me away if somebody had helped you!’
‘No, probably I wouldn’t. But people do what they think is right at the time,’ she explained gently. ‘I did what I thought was right for you, and it seems to have worked out pretty well, doesn’t it?’
‘Yeah, I suppose. I had a happy childhood. Mum and Dad were great parents—they did everything they could for me.’ He bit his lip and she could see the glitter of tears in his eyes. ‘Mum died of cancer two years ago. It was awful, it really cut me up to lose her, especially as I had no idea what was happening. Mum and Dad didn’t tell me what was going on, you see.’
‘Maybe they wanted to spare you a lot of heartache,’ she said quietly, remembering what Owen had told her.
‘Well, it didn’t! I knew Mum was ill, of course. It was obvious. But I didn’t know how ill she was. I didn’t know she was going to die!’ He ran his hands over his face, obviously embarrassed about showing his feelings in front of her.
‘I expect they thought it was the best thing to do at the time.’
‘Then they were wrong! If they’d told me what was happening, it wouldn’t have been such a shock when Mum died. I did some really stupid things after that, like drinking too much and smoking pot. I just went completely off the rails.’
‘Grief affects people in different ways. You mustn’t blame yourself because you weren’t thinking clearly.’
‘I thought you’d be horrified when I told you that,’ he said in astonishment.
‘Obviously I would hate to think you hadn’t learned your lesson from it, but we all do things we’re ashamed of, Daniel. The secret is to not repeat our mistakes.’
‘I wish Dad felt like that. He seems to think I’m going to mess up again if he doesn’t watch me like a hawk. He treats me like a five-year-old most of the time—always on my case about getting my college work done.’
Rose laughed at the disgust in his voice. ‘I’m afraid that’s par for the course when you’re a teenager. Parents always think they know best. But you have to remember that your father only nags you because he loves you and wants what is best for you.’
‘I know he does. And I know that Mum’s death hit him really hard, too.’ He sighed. ‘I just wish he’d try to get on with his life—go out and have some fun for a change. It’s what Mum would have wanted him to do.’
‘It takes time to get over losing someone you love,’ she said quietly, her heart aching at the thought of what Owen was still suffering. He must have loved his wife very much, and the thought sent a little pang of regret coursing through her.
‘And, talking about your father, isn’t it time you went to meet him?’ she added, blanking out the thought. It was pointless worrying about it. Owen certainly wouldn’t thank her for her concern—he’d probably accuse her of poking her nose in where it wasn’t wanted!
‘Is that really the time?’ Daniel leapt to his feet, looking ill at ease all of a sudden. ‘I’ve really enjoyed meeting you today, Rose. I’d like to see you again, if that’s OK with you
?’
‘I’d love to see you again, too. I can’t begin to tell you how much today has meant to me. I won’t even try in case I embarrass you!’ She smiled when he laughed, although she could tell he was pleased to hear her say that. ‘Maybe you could give me a call when you’ve got some free time? I don’t want to take you away from your studies, so I’ll fit in with you. I don’t work weekends at the moment, so I’m always free then.’
‘That would be great!’ He shuffled his feet, then suddenly stuck out his hand. ‘Thanks, Rose. I know it wasn’t easy for you to tell me about your parents and everything, but I’m glad you were honest with me.’
‘Thank you for being so understanding,’ she said, her voice thick with emotion. She shook his hand. ‘I’ll see you very soon, I hope.’
‘Definitely.’
He gave her a grin, then loped off across the park. Rose watched until he was swallowed up by the crowd, then made her way to the gate. The meeting had gone far better than she’d dared hope it would, and now all she could do was wait for Daniel to get in touch with her. She wanted so much to see him again. Now that he was back in her life she didn’t intend to lose him a second time, although it might not be up to her what happened, of course. Owen still wasn’t happy about her seeing Daniel, and she doubted if he would try to foster a closer relationship between them.
She squared her shoulders. Maybe Owen wasn’t keen on her seeing Daniel, but she wasn’t going to let him get in the way of doing what she knew was right. Daniel needed her. And she was going to be there for him every step of the way!
Monday arrived and Owen was glad to go back to work. Daniel hadn’t stopped talking about Rose all weekend. He had told Owen at length about Rose’s parents refusing to help her and how his father had dumped her when he’d found out she was pregnant. Owen had made all the appropriate replies, but he really and truly hadn’t wanted to hear all the details. He couldn’t afford to start feeling sorry for her.
At least work acted as a distraction. The day got off to a brisk start when an RTA was brought in. Two women had been injured when they had swerved to avoid a dog which had run into the road. The driver, Marion Bates, was the most seriously injured, so he took charge of her and asked Suzanne to look after the passenger. Devinder Sharma—their new house officer—was on duty that morning, so Owen told him that he would like him to assist. It would be good experience for the younger doctor.
‘I’m Owen Gallagher, consultant in charge of the trauma unit,’ he explained as soon as the staff had transferred the woman onto a bed. ‘And this is Dr Sharma, one of our house officers,’ he added, nodding to Devinder, who was looking extremely nervous about his first stint in Resus. ‘We’re just going to examine you, so try to relax.’
‘Can you get a message to my husband?’ Marion moved the oxygen mask away from her face. ‘I was only popping out to the shops to buy some milk, and he’ll be wondering where I’ve got to.’
‘Don’t worry about that now. One of the nurses will sort it out for you.’
He glanced over his shoulder, feeling his heart lurch when he realised that Rose had now come into Resus. She hadn’t been around when he’d arrived, and he couldn’t pretend that the sight of her didn’t affect him. He avoided looking at her as he summoned Julie over. ‘Can you contact this lady’s husband and let him know what’s happened to her? The police should be able to give you the details.’
He returned his attention to the patient as the nurse hurried away. A quick check of the monitoring equipment assured him that Marion’s heart-rate and BP were normal, and that her oxygen saturation levels were within acceptable limits. She’d had a GCS of ten when the paramedics had arrived on scene, and his main concern was a possible head injury.
‘Did you lose consciousness when you crashed?’ he asked, checking the rather large gash on her temple.
‘I’m not sure. It’s all a bit hazy, you see. One minute I was driving along the road and the next thing I knew there was this dog right in front of me. I swerved to avoid it and ran straight into a lamppost.’
‘The paramedics said that the lamppost toppled onto your car.’ He took the torch off the wall and used it to check how her pupils reacted to the light. The left one responded a shade more sluggishly than the right and he glanced at Devinder. ‘Check Mrs Bates’s response to light, will you, Dr Sharma?’
He moved aside to give the young doctor some room, uncoiling his stethoscope so he could listen to the woman’s chest. There were sounds of air entry on both sides, so her breathing did not appear to have been compromised.
‘Both pupils dilated evenly, sir.’
He glanced up when Devinder reported his findings. ‘Check again, and pay particular attention to the left pupil,’ he instructed, curbing his first instinct, which was to snap at the younger man. It took time to build up the skills needed to examine a patient properly, and he mustn’t be impatient because the junior doctor hadn’t spotted the problem. It wasn’t Dr Sharma’s fault that he was so on edge.
The thought made him grit his teeth. He knew the reason for his tension was having to work in such close proximity to Rose. Daniel’s response to meeting her had been everything he’d feared it would be and it had reinforced all his doubts. However, it wasn’t just his concern for Daniel that was making him so uneasy—it was the way he responded to her as well.
His gaze skimmed across the room and he felt a little spurt of awareness shoot through him as he saw her bend over the other patient. Her face was set with concentration, yet he knew that she was just as aware of him as he was of her. She suddenly looked round and he turned away, not wanting her to know that he had been watching her. Devinder had spotted the problem now, and Owen nodded when the younger doctor reported his findings, knowing that he couldn’t afford to let his mind wander again.
‘Good. It’s not always easy to spot these things but you’ll get better with practice. Mrs Bates will need a CT scan, so can you sort it out? Tell the radiologist that it’s a priority case.’
He carried on with his examination but could find no other signs of any serious injuries. He asked Beth Humphreys to do the usual X-rays, then went to check how Suzanne was faring, steeling himself when Rose accidentally brushed against him as she reached up to replace the drip.
‘Excuse me,’ she murmured, stepping around him.
Owen didn’t reply, not trusting himself to speak in case the tone of his voice gave him away. However, it was hard to ignore the frissons that were rippling through his body. Just the lightest touch seemed to set off a whole chain of reactions, and it worried him that he was so responsive to her. Was it the fact that he’d been celibate for such a long time that was making him react this way?
His sex life had been the least of his worries when Laura had been so ill. After she’d died he hadn’t been interested in having a relationship with another woman. For two years he’d been celibate out of choice, yet all of a sudden his body was making its demands known. And it was the fact that it was Rose who had reawoken his desire that shocked him so much; Rose, who was the biggest threat to his peace of mind; Rose, the mother of his son. How could he possibly feel this way about her?
CHAPTER NINE
ROSE wasn’t sure what was going through Owen’s mind but she could tell there was something wrong, and it didn’t take a genius to work out that it had to do with her.
She finished hanging a fresh bag of saline on the stand, wondering how soon she could make her escape. They were short-staffed that day, which was why Angie had asked her to work in Resus, but she would have preferred to put a bit more space between her and Owen…
He suddenly moved around the bed and she flinched when she found him standing in front of her. Colour swept up her face as she stepped aside, ignoring the speculative look Angie gave her. Picking up the soiled dressings, she took them to the clinical waste sack. Suzanne was updating Owen on the patient’s progress so she decided to keep out of the way until they’d finished. There was no point courting
trouble if she could avoid it.
The warning beep of a monitor suddenly rang around the room and she spun round. Devinder appeared to be rooted to the spot with shock as he stared at Marion Bates, who had arrested. Rose ran over to the bed and pushed him aside.
‘I’ll start CPR. Drop the head of the bed—she needs to be lying flat.’
The young doctor looked blankly at her, then suddenly came to his senses. He hurriedly lowered the head of the bed while she began chest compressions. Owen had arrived by then, and he nodded when he saw what she was doing.
‘You carry on. Devinder, you sort out her breathing. I’ll give her a shot of adrenaline and see if we can get her heart going again.’
One of the other nurses ran to fetch the drugs but Rose ignored what was happening around her as she carried on with the compressions.
‘Pulse check,’ Owen ordered, and she stopped while he checked the carotid artery in Marion’s neck. He shook his head. ‘Nothing yet.’
Rose took up her position again, concentrating all her energy on performing the lifesaving technique. Owen gave the patient a second shot of adrenaline then decided to defibrillate her when that didn’t work either.
‘Clear!’ he ordered.
Everyone stepped back as he applied the paddles to Marion’s chest and sent an electric current through her heart. The monitor suddenly beeped as sinus rhythm was established again and a collective sigh went up.
‘I just froze when the monitor went off.’ Devinder looked shaken as he slipped an oxygen mask over the woman’s face. ‘I forgot everything I know about resuscitating a patient who’s arrested.’
‘It’s quite normal,’ Rose said sympathetically.
‘Maybe, but you didn’t freeze, did you?’ he pointed out.
‘That’s because I’ve done this loads of times before,’ she assured him. ‘The first time it happens to you is always the scariest.’
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