‘It’s far more likely that Daniel has decided that he doesn’t want to see me any more. I don’t blame him because you’ve just told me how upset he was.’
‘But that’s crazy! I’ll talk to him and explain what happened—tell him about your phone call and the message—’
‘No. Please don’t do that. I don’t want you to tell him.’
‘But why not?’
‘Because it has to be his decision.’ She shrugged, trying not to let him see how hard this was for her. But she couldn’t bear to think that Daniel might blame his father if he found out that Owen had interfered. ‘I’ve told him what happened and it’s up to him what he intends to do.’
‘You make it sound as though you don’t really care if you see him again,’ Owen said slowly, as though he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.
‘It isn’t a question of what I want. It’s what is best for all of us,’ she said flatly. How could she possibly explain that she was trying to save him from getting hurt as well as Daniel? Owen had never made her any promises: he hadn’t said that he wanted her to be a part of his life so she could have completely misread the situation. Just because he’d kissed her a few times, it didn’t mean he wanted to spend his life with her!
It was hard to hide the pain that thought caused her, but Rose knew that she would never forgive herself if she ended up hurting the two people she loved most of all. ‘It might be best if we all went back to the way we were,’ she said quietly. ‘That way you and Daniel can get on with your lives and I can get on with mine.’
‘And ne’er the twain shall meet.’ He laughed harshly as he let her go and stood up. ‘You could be right, Rose, and who am I to argue? I certainly can’t claim to be an expert at sorting out problems with my track record. Anyway, I’d better get back and see how everyone is doing.’
He walked away, not looking back as he ducked under the tape and went back to the training ground. Rose finished her tea, but the ache in her heart didn’t ease. Maybe she had done the right thing for all of them, but it still hurt. And this kind of pain took a lifetime to heal.
It was the middle of the afternoon before Owen got home. The exercise had been a huge success, although there were a few issues that needed to be addressed. There would be a meeting for all those who had taken part at some point, but at the moment he just wanted to go home and lock himself away.
He let himself into the house, sighing when he heard the sound of music coming from upstairs. Obviously Daniel was home, and although he loved his son dearly he could have done with a couple of hours on his own to think about what Rose had said to him.
He still couldn’t understand why she had turned her back on Daniel. He’d seen for himself last night just how much Daniel meant to her. If he’d had doubts about her sincerity before, he didn’t have them now. She loved the boy just as much as he did, so why was she willing to let him go? And why had she refused his offer to intercede on her behalf? It didn’t make sense.
Owen cursed roundly as he filled the kettle and made himself some coffee. Daniel must have heard him moving about the kitchen because he came thundering down the stairs.
‘Want a cup?’ Owen asked.
‘No, it’s OK, thanks. I had some when I got in.’
Daniel pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and slouched against the doorframe. Owen forbore to tell him to either come into the room or go out, as he usually did. This wasn’t the time for one of his parental lectures. Maybe Rose was prepared to let Daniel take the initiative, but the very least he could do was to make sure his son had all the facts before him. He was just working himself up to confess what he’d done when Daniel spoke.
‘I saw Rose again before I came home.’
‘Did you?’ Owen felt his insides churning. Daniel obviously wanted to tell him something and he couldn’t help wondering what it was.
‘Yes. I decided that I needed to talk to her, so I went to find her.’ Daniel shrugged. ‘She told me what had happened the other week and why she couldn’t meet me as we’d arranged.’
‘Her father had a heart attack,’ Owen said softly, seeing the flicker of pain that crossed Daniel’s face.
‘It must have been really awful for her. I know that she and her father weren’t on speaking terms for years—’
‘But he was still her father and she cared about him,’ Owen finished for him.
‘Exactly. Anyway, I’m glad that I spoke to her because it’s helped me sort everything out in my head. I’ve been a bit down recently because I thought she didn’t care about me.’
‘Rose loves you very much. You saw that for yourself last night. She was absolutely panic stricken when she realised that you were one of the casualties.’
‘I know. That’s what made me decide to talk to her.’
‘I’m glad you did,’ Owen said truthfully. ‘It would be a real shame if you two stopped seeing each other because of some unfortunate misunderstanding…’ He suddenly stopped and frowned. ‘Hang on a minute. Rose told me that she’d written to you and explained what had happened. Didn’t you get her letter?’
‘Yes, I got it.’
‘And?’ he prompted.
‘And I tore it up.’ Daniel came and sat down at the table. Owen sighed when he saw how guilty he looked.
‘Without reading it first, I assume?’ He shook his head when Daniel nodded. ‘You should have read it, son. Then you would have known what had happened.’
‘I know, but I was really peeved at the time because Rose hadn’t even tried to phone me.’
‘Yes, she did. She left a message on Saturday night to say that she’d been called away.’ He paused, but there was no way that he could avoid telling Daniel the truth to save face. ‘She also phoned again on Sunday, when she got back to London, to speak to you.’
‘She did? But why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Because at the time I was so angry with her for letting you down that I refused to listen to what she was trying to tell me. I had no idea what had gone on until last night, in fact.’
‘I can’t believe you never told me that she’d phoned!’ Daniel shot to his feet. ‘I’m not a kid, Dad. I’m old enough to make my own decisions. It was up to me to decide if I wanted to speak to Rose, not you!’
‘I know. And I’m sorry. I’m not going to try and justify my actions by claiming I was doing it for your own good because I shouldn’t have interfered.’
‘So why did you?’ Daniel sat down again. ‘You’ve been acting very strangely ever since you met Rose, and it’s not like you. You’ve had a real downer on her even though she’s done nothing wrong. OK, so she had me adopted, but she did it for the very best of reasons and you can’t blame her for that. Why do you dislike her so much?’
‘I don’t.’ Owen’s head began to throb. He didn’t dislike Rose—just the opposite, in fact. But he couldn’t tell Daniel that. ‘I was afraid that you’d get hurt. It was a terrible shock for you when Mum died, and I was worried in case it tipped you over the edge again.’
Daniel grimaced. ‘I’m not stupid. I know I went off the rails but I’m not going to do it again. So was that it? You were worried about the effect it could have had on me?’
‘No.’ He took a deep breath because this was the hardest part of all to admit. ‘I was also afraid that I could end up losing you. My whole world fell apart when your mother died and I was desperate to hang on to what I had left. Rose was a threat…or so it seemed to me at first.’
‘But once you got to know her you realised she wasn’t a threat?’
‘Yes.’ Owen sighed. ‘Rose thinks the world of you, Daniel, and she wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.’
‘I think I’ve always known that, deep down inside. I’m just so glad that we managed to clear things up last night. Although I don’t know why she didn’t tell me herself about those phone calls, do you?’
‘I’ve no idea, to be honest.’ He frowned. ‘She even asked me not to tell you, and it doesn
’t make sense, does it?’
‘So Rose asked you specifically not to tell me that she’d phoned?’
‘Yes. She was adamant that she didn’t want me to say anything and I wish I knew why.’
‘Then maybe you and Rose need to talk to each other.’ Daniel stood up and grinned at him. ‘I had a feeling there was something going on from a few things Rose said, and this just confirms it.’
‘Confirms what?’ Owen demanded, but Daniel just laughed.
‘Work it out, Dad. You’ll get there in the end!’ He bounded out of the room, taking the stairs two at a time so that it sounded as though a herd of elephants was stampeding through the house.
Owen frowned as he tried to follow his son’s advice. Rose had made it clear from the outset that she would fight tooth and nail to see her son, so why had she been prepared to walk away if Daniel hadn’t wanted to see her again? And why had she insisted that he mustn’t tell Daniel about his part in recent events? That didn’t make any sense at all…unless she’d been afraid that if he’d told Daniel it could have had an impact on his relationship with him?
Owen gasped. It was as if a light had been switched on and he could see the situation clearly at last. Rose hadn’t wanted to risk harming his relationship with Daniel and that was why she had asked him not to say anything. He could understand why she would want to protect Daniel, but was it possible that she had wanted to protect him, too? She’d admitted that she cared about his feelings, but maybe there was more to it than that: maybe she cared about him?
All of a sudden he knew that he had to find out the truth. He would go to see Rose and ask her point blank how she felt. And if her answer was what he hoped it would be, then…
He cut off the rest of that thought. He wasn’t going to make the mistake of tempting fate!
Rose had just made herself a cup of coffee when the doorbell rang. She pressed the button on the intercom speaker and was stunned when she heard Owen’s voice asking her to let him in. She had no idea what he wanted…unless he’d found out that Daniel had spoken to her again?
Her heart sank. It had been so wonderful to be able to sort out all the misunderstandings that had led to their recent estrangement, and she couldn’t bear to think that something might go wrong at this stage. Surely Owen now understood that she only wanted what was best for the boy? Even if she and Owen hadn’t parted on the friendliest of terms last night, she couldn’t believe that he still had doubts about her integrity. But why else had he come?
The thought made her feel so emotionally raw that she knew she couldn’t bear to see him. Maybe she would be able to deal with this later but not now.
‘I’m sorry, Owen, but this really isn’t a good time. I’m too tired to speak to you—’
‘I know you’re tired, Rose, but it’s absolutely vital that I talk to you,’ he said urgently—so urgently, in fact, that she was immediately alarmed.
‘Has something happened to Daniel?’ she demanded.
‘Daniel is fine. He’s at home, deafening the neighbours with his music.’ He paused, and her pulse leapt when she heard how his voice grated when he continued. ‘This concerns you and me, not Daniel.’
Rose had no idea what he meant, yet she couldn’t find it in her heart to turn him away when he sounded so desperate. She unlocked the main doors, then waited in the hall until he knocked on her door.
‘I need to ask you something, Rose,’ he said as soon as he had stepped inside the flat. ‘But first of all I want you to promise me that you will give me a truthful answer.’
‘If I can,’ she murmured, not sure what she was agreeing to.
‘Why did you ask me not to tell Daniel about that message and the phone call?’
‘I already explained it to you,’ she said shortly, turning to go back to the kitchen because the expression in his eyes was playing havoc with her composure. Why was he looking at her as though she held his whole future in her hands? It didn’t make sense.
‘I know you did, but I don’t think you told me the full story, did you?’
His tone was achingly gentle and she bit her lip. It was hard not to blurt it all out then: how she’d wanted to protect his relationship with Daniel; how she’d wanted to protect him. ‘I can’t see any point in this, Owen. We’ve said everything that needs to be said.’
‘No, we haven’t. We haven’t even touched on the really important issue, which is that I love you.’ He turned her to face him and her heart started to race when she saw the warmth in his eyes. ‘I love you, Rose Tremayne. I don’t know how it happened but it’s true.’
‘You love me?’ she said.
‘Yes. Is it really such a shock to hear me say that?’ He stared into her eyes and Rose felt a flood of emotions run through her. She wanted to believe that he was telling her the truth but she was afraid of getting hurt.
‘Of course it’s a shock,’ she said, stepping back so that he was forced to release her. ‘You’ve never made any secret of how you felt about me, Owen, have you?’
‘No. And it’s something I shall regret until my dying day, too.’ He ran a hand through his hair and she was shocked to see how it trembled. ‘I’ve behaved very badly towards you, Rose, and I understand why you find it hard to believe what I’m saying, but it’s true. I love you with the whole of my heart.’
‘I want to believe you,’ she whispered, feeling the hot sting of tears burning her eyes.
‘But you’re worried in case it’s some kind of a trick?’ he suggested, and the agony in his voice made her reach out to him.
‘No!’ she said, clinging tightly to his hand. ‘I know you would never do anything as cruel as that.’
‘Thank you.’ He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers with infinite tenderness. ‘The fact that you can still trust me after everything that’s happened means more to me than I can say.’
‘You were only ever trying to protect Daniel,’ she said huskily.
‘I was, but I went about it the completely wrong way. I saw you as a threat and you were never that, were you?’
‘No. And I never wanted to come between you and Daniel either,’ she said fiercely, desperate to convince him.
‘I know that now. That’s why you didn’t want me to tell Daniel about those phone calls, wasn’t it? You were worried in case it damaged my relationship with him when he found out what I’d done.’
‘I couldn’t bear to think that you two might fall out because of me. Daniel needs you, Owen.’
‘And I need him, too. I told him that after I’d explained what I’d done.’
‘And how did he take it?’ she said anxiously.
‘He was angry at first, of course. But I think he’s forgiven me now for interfering.’ He kissed her hand again. ‘He told me that he’d spoken to you and that you’d sorted things out. I’m so glad, Rose.’
‘So am I. I was afraid that he would never want to see me again,’ she admitted.
‘Yet you still wouldn’t let me tell him about the part I played?’ He drew her to him and looked deep into her eyes. ‘Were you just worried about damaging my relationship with him or was there another reason for that, sweetheart?’
‘I…I didn’t want to cause a rift between you two,’ she said, avoiding his eyes because she wasn’t sure what he might see in hers. She couldn’t begin to explain how wonderful it had felt to hear him using that tender endearment.
‘You won’t ever do that. I think Daniel has a far better understanding of the situation than either of us have given him credit for.’ He drew her into his arms and dropped a kiss on her nose. ‘Do you care about me, Rose, just a little bit?’
‘Of course I care. You’re Daniel’s father.’
‘And that’s all I am to you?’
‘Isn’t it enough?’
‘No, it isn’t. I want you to care about me, Rose, the person I am in here.’ He pressed her hand against his heart and held it there so she could feel it beating against her palm. ‘I want you to love me as m
uch as I love you but I’m not sure if it’s possible after what I’ve done. I hurt you, Rose, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make amends if you’ll let me.’
‘I don’t want you to make amends for anything,’ she whispered, unbearably moved by his words.
‘Because you don’t feel the same way I do?’
‘No, because it isn’t necessary for you to make amends. You don’t need to apologise for caring about our son, Owen.’
‘Don’t I?’ He brushed her mouth with a kiss then smiled at her. ‘So does that mean that you might be able to love me just a little bit?’
‘I might.’
‘Well, it’s a start at least.’ Another kiss, only this time it lasted rather longer so that Rose was trembling when he drew back. ‘So how little are we talking about? I mean, I love you totally and completely, so that’s a pretty expansive feeling. Is there any reason to hope that you might be able to meet me halfway?’
‘Only halfway?’ Rose chuckled as happiness suddenly bubbled up inside her. ‘That doesn’t sound like the Owen Gallagher I know. You aren’t a man who normally settles for half-measures.’
‘Not normally, no. But this is very different to the usual run-of-the-mill scenarios. I don’t go round asking women if they love me every day of the week, so you need to be patient with me.’
‘How patient do you want me to be?’ she responded, reaching up so she could kiss him. She smiled when she felt him shudder. ‘And how many more questions are you planning to ask me?’
‘None. I’ve asked the only important one. So, Rose, you think you could love me?’
‘Yes, I think so.’
‘And how long would I need to wait before you’re sure?’
‘That depends.’
‘On what?’ One dark bow arched arrogantly.
‘On what kind of incentives you’re offering to help me make up my mind.’ She smiled. ‘Talking has never been one of our strong points, has it, Owen? We usually end up arguing, so it might be safer not to go down that route.’
‘Hmm, I see. Obviously I need to work out a plan of action—come up with some better tactics.’
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