Attorney Work Product
From: David Greaves
To: Sophie Diehl
RE: Finding a Divorce Lawyer
Date: May 10, 1999
Attachments:
Funny you should ask. About two years ago I wrote a column on finding a divorce lawyer for the Consumer column in the Courier. It pretty much says everything I have to say about the subject. I’ve attached a copy. You can send it to your friend. Since he’s a student, I can’t imagine he has much money—or income. He might try to do it pro se, or through Legal Aid. He’ll have trouble finding someone for less than $80 an hour, and the hours can add up. (By the way, how many hours have you accrued in the Durkheim case? I’d like to have an idea; we probably should send Ms. Meiklejohn a billing statement.)
As for concrete recommendations, I offer the following three: Victoria Beaumont, Esq.; Megan Benett of Benett & Ratzan; and Max Rivington at Miller, Pierce and Maleri. They’re all good lawyers. They’re younger—and correspondingly cheaper—than older lawyers, but they’re all experienced in matrimonial law. Your friend can choose from among a solo practitioner, a member of a small firm, and an associate at a large one. You might also ask Felix for his recommendations; he knows everyone in the matrimonial bar.
This month, the Courier Consumer asked David Greaves, Esq., a partner in the New Salem law firm of Traynor, Hand, Wyzanski, to tell our readers how to find a divorce lawyer. We’ve had many requests for a column on this topic. And we know why. In 1996, in Tyler County, 1,519 couples got married; 687 got divorced. That’s a 45% divorce rate. Here’s what Mr. Greaves has to say.
The first question I’d put to someone looking for a divorce lawyer is this: How complicated will your divorce be? Is it a contested divorce? Does your wife want support? Do you want support? Are you still living together? Have you been separated for a while, living independently and each supporting yourself? Do you both live in-state? If not, will your husband submit to jurisdiction in Narragansett? Do you have children? Is custody in dispute?
It’s possible in Narragansett for people to do their own divorces. These are called pro se divorces. While I don’t recommend a pro se divorce for people with young children, substantial assets, or emotional baggage, it might do in a case where the marriage has been one of short duration between people of similar resources and the divorce is uncontested.* Mediation is also a possibility in an uncontested divorce.**
If the case is more complicated but your resources are minimal, you might call Legal Services and see whether you are eligible for free representation.*** If you’re ineligible for Legal Services, then you’ll need to hire a private lawyer. It will be difficult to find one who’ll work for less than $75 an hour, and the hours add up. Even an uncontested divorce will probably cost each party at least $1,000. The fact is, there are no really cheap divorces and no really cheap good divorce lawyers. Be wary of the lawyer who says he can do it all for a set price of, say, $499. If the case turns out to be more complicated than anticipated, the fee will rise. And the case is almost always more complicated than anticipated. In my experience, it pays to hire a lawyer who bills by the hour.
Hiring the right lawyer takes time. Most people never think about hiring a lawyer until they need one urgently, and the result can be disastrous (losing custody, the family home, alimony) or expensive (hiring a second lawyer to undo the mess made by the first), as with any decision made precipitously, without research, in times of trouble. People ask a friend or, if they don’t have a friend who knows a lawyer, they look in the Yellow Pages or take a telephone number off a bus advertisement, e.g., 1-700-DIVORCES. They then call up, make an appointment, and sign on the dotted line, right there. They never think of interviewing the lawyer to see if she’s the right one; and they never think of interviewing more than one. The truth is, they don’t really want a divorce lawyer, not at that moment; they want a fairy godmother, someone to rescue them. Even professionals can become helpless and feckless in the face of divorce.
Asking friends, acquaintances, and colleagues for a recommendation is a good place to start, but don’t ask just anyone. Pick your sources carefully: a friend who has survived a divorce with his dignity intact or a colleague whose judgment is sound.****
You’ll want a consultation before you hire anyone. Prepare a brief summary of your situation in advance; time is money to a lawyer, and you don’t want to waste her time or your money. After you’ve laid out the matter, ask the lawyer how she will proceed, how long she expects the divorce to take, and how much she thinks it will cost. Most divorces are based on separation agreements, but approximately 10% end up in the courts. If the case goes to court, the cost will mount dramatically. Do not sign right there. Thank the lawyer and say you’ll be in touch. You’ll want to talk to the other lawyers on your list and then review the consultations in order to figure out which one is likely to give you the best representation.
I don’t know that other lawyers would agree with me, but I think it’s important to like and respect your lawyer. You don’t have to want to have dinner with her, but you should feel comfortable in her company and trust her judgment. In my experience in civil litigation generally and in divorce especially, people who hire a lawyer they don’t particularly like but think they need (a shark, a pit bull, a well-connected politico) are making a mistake. There’s a quid pro quo to the lawyer-client relationship, as there is in most relationships. If a client doesn’t like his lawyer, chances are the lawyer doesn’t like the client. Divorce is difficult enough without having your advocate despise you too. This being said, a client should never hire a friend as his divorce lawyer. (It goes without saying, of course, that a person should never hire a lawyer who’s a friend of both him and his wife, and no lawyer should take on that case. It’s instant death to the friendship and often to the lawyer’s reputation, especially in a small city.) People do and say terrible things in front of their lawyers during a divorce; after it’s all over, most people don’t want to have anything more to do with their lawyer. They don’t want a reminder of that time in their life—or of their own awful behavior during it.
Clients also need to keep in mind that their interests and their lawyers’ don’t perfectly coincide. Lawyers work for their clients, but also for themselves. A lawyer has a reputation to maintain, other clients to service, an office to run, bills to pay, a practice to cultivate, and a private life to live, factors all of which influence her actions on the client’s behalf. No client ever feels his lawyer gives his case the attention it deserves, and no lawyer can give it that kind of attention. There’s too much going on in the lawyer’s life, too little time, and, more often than not, too little money (even at $75 an hour). In divorce, there are very few satisfied customers. As in book publishing or home renovation, people enter the lawyer-client relationship with unreasonable expectations. (The publisher will run a nationwide ad campaign; the builder will give me my dream kitchen and still come in under budget; the lawyer will get me everything I want and deserve.) The first task of a good divorce lawyer is to educate the client, to get him to understand that negotiation is a two-way street and that the best agreement is one that allows each side to claim victory on some grounds. The most satisfactory divorces I’ve handled have ended up with both the husband and wife feeling slightly but tolerably aggrieved. There are no winners in divorce, but there don’t have to be any losers.
*You can pick up a copy of the Narragansett Do It Yourself Divorce Guide, published by the Narragansett Judicial Branch, from the Tyler County Clerk or the New Salem Law Society Library. This booklet outlines all the steps in a pro se divorce and includes copies of all the forms; it is intended only for “uncomplicated cases,” where the spouses “agree on the basic issues.” There are also books, published by commercial publishers, that outline the steps in a pro se divorce and provide sample agreements as well as the official forms. An example is The Uncontested Divorce in Narragansett: A How-To Manual, published by SelfHelp Press.
**A
final note about mediation. A trained mediator who is a member of the New Salem Mediation Bureau can handle a divorce if—and here comes a series of big ifs—the parties both think mediation is the way to go; they have comparable resources; they are prepared to be not merely reasonable but generous; they love their children and have their best interests at heart; and they are not at daggers with each other. After coming to an agreement, each of them needs to hire a lawyer to look over the agreement and make sure it’s fair. (Narragansett law requires that.)
***The income cutoff is $17,000 a year. As of December 20, Legal Services was doing divorces, but with all the cutbacks that they’ve been facing, they may decide that their resources are better spent on more urgent cases. Call before turning up on their doorstep (393-555-0101).
****You can also consult the Law Society (393-555-6789), which will provide you with the names of divorce specialists along with their professional biographies. Once you’ve collected a number of names, call three of them and make appointments, asking first what it will cost, if anything, to have a consultation about representation. ■
TRAYNOR, HAND, WYZANSKI
222 CHURCH STREET
NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555
(393) 876-5678
MEMORANDUM
Attorney Work Product
From: Sophie Diehl
To: David Greaves
RE: Your Treatise on Finding a Lawyer
Date: May 10, 1999
Attachments:
The bit about liking your lawyer. I never thought about that or most of the other things you said. My cases are all assigned by a court or a senior partner, and criminal clients are notoriously ungrateful. Last year I spent 7 months negotiating with the DA on an armed robbery case (serious stuff, armed robbery), and when I got the perp a 48-month sentence (including time served), 18 months off the oxymoronic mandatory minimum for a repeat offender, he said: “Why did I need a lawyer for that?” I wanted to say, “Don’t take the deal. Go to trial,” but I didn’t. Joe’s first rule of client representation is: “Roll with the insults. These are people who aren’t allowed to have shoelaces.”
I need more advice. I’d like to find a way of burying the hatchet with Fiona, other than in my back. If I say hello to her, she says, “Oh,…Sophie … you,” and turns away. If I run into her in the kitchen, she’ll leave directly, saying something like, “I’ll get out of your way.” The other day I asked her for advice on the Durkheim case, a real question on rehabilitation alimony; you weren’t here, nor was Felix, and I didn’t want to screw up the way I did with the medical degree. We were in the hallway outside her office. I had gone there to talk to her. She said, “Just read the cases, read the statutes, read the New Salem Law Journal. It’s not rocket science.” Then she turned her back to me, went into her office, and closed the door. Have you heard the joke about Irish Alzheimer’s? They forget everything but the grievances.
Does this go on with other lawyers in the firm? What do I do?
TRAYNOR, HAND, WYZANSKI
222 CHURCH STREET
NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555
(393) 876-5678
MEMORANDUM
Attorney Work Product
From: Sophie Diehl
To: David Greaves
RE: Maria Meiklejohn
Date: May 11, 1999
Attachments: May 6 Letter from MMM
This morning’s mail brought a letter from Mia Meiklejohn, an account of a fight with her husband, precipitated by our letter and discovery request to Ray Kahn. She certainly held her own.
I love that Meiklejohn’s company is called Octopus Enterprises, but what does that stand for? Why not Orca? Or King Kong?
MARIA MATHER MEIKLEJOHN
404 ST. CLOUD STREET
NEW SALEM, NA 06556
May 6, 1999
Anne Sophie Diehl
Traynor, Hand, Wyzanski
222 Church Street
New Salem, NA 06555
Dear Sophie:
David’s letter to Ray Kahn and discovery request set off a bomb. Danny was furious. He came up to my room last night and ranted at me. How could I think he had hidden assets? What right did my lawyers have to see his research grants? And what in hell gave my lawyers the balls (his word) to tell him to attend Parent Education Classes? He said I had been a “fucking albatross” hanging around his neck for years. He asked me to move out of the house—with Jane; he said he had found an apartment for us at the Albany (three bedrooms, big living room, nice kitchen, good views, parking place) and would pay the rent, $1,600 a month, until we signed a settlement. He’d pay for the move too. There were more personal attacks too. He called me a parasite, sucking the life out of everyone around me, and a dilettante, who wouldn’t grow up. “Get on with your life,” he bellowed, “and get out of mine.”
I used to fold when he yelled at me like that, but I didn’t this time. I yelled back. I told him if he fought me on custody for Jane, I’d fight him all the way to the Supreme Court, adding as a coda, “You’ll be 60 before we’re divorced.” I told him I wouldn’t move out until we had a signed agreement, so he had better get serious and come up with a reasonable offer. And I said if Dr. Stephanie kept calling the house, I’d start calling her house and her office. That last remark really set him off. He said I was sick and a madwoman. “If you ever call or threaten her, I’ll grind you to dust.” That really got me going. “That’s great, that’s terrific,” I said. “You think I’m crazy to call her, but it’s okay for her to call your house, where your child lives. It’s okay if Jane finds out her father is screwing another woman.” That stopped him cold. He looked stunned and then walked out without another word.
I’m right, aren’t I, not to move out until we’ve got a settlement? It’s the only real leverage I have on him. It’s not just that he wants the house, he wants me out of it. If I leave without an agreement, he’ll then take his time and try to starve me into submission.
I’m beginning to feel sorry for you, sorry I asked you to take on my case. When I’m a lawyer, I won’t do divorces. (But you said that, too.) This has become so awful, so ugly. If you had met Danny and me socially, you’d have liked us. I used to like us. He used to call me Mia Bella.
Thanks for your help and support.
Yours,
TRAYNOR, HAND, WYZANSKI
222 CHURCH STREET
NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555
(393) 876-5678
MEMORANDUM
Attorney Work Product
From: David Greaves
To: Sophie Diehl
RE: Maria Meiklejohn’s Letter; Finding a Lawyer; Business in New York
Date: May 11, 1999
Attachments:
What were you doing in college? Didn’t you ever read Frank Norris’s The Octopus? It is Bruce Meiklejohn’s favorite book. The company is named for the book itself, not the Southern Pacific Railroad. Or maybe it is.
I didn’t realize that you and Fiona were still at odds, but of course, it happens with others in the firm. What should you do? You’ve no choice, you have to suck it up, as your generation so vividly puts it. It happens all the time. We make enemies, sometimes through no fault of our own, and sometimes our enemies become badges of honor. I don’t know if you know, but my father was on Nixon’s Enemy’s List. He was very proud to have made it and counted it among his lifetime achievements. When he was interviewed by the Courier for his obituary, he asked them to include it. They did. My mother was very proud too. This may not be any consolation to you. There may be no consolation. Just keep doing your work. And don’t respond in kind to Fiona. Joe’s rule is a good one across the board.
I’ll be out of town, in New York on business, for the next two days. There’s a meeting of the board of Octopus Enterprises. I don’t expect to be back until Friday afternoon at the earliest, so you don’t need to have the draft of the Durkheim letter and counteroffer to me until Monday afternoon.
Adults May Be Misbehaving
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From: Sophie Diehl
To: Maggie Pfeiffer
Date: Tue, 11 May 1999 22:18:29
Subject: Adults May Be Misbehaving 5/11/99 10:18 PM
Dear Maggie—
It never seems to end. This morning I got a memo from DG saying he was going to be in New York City for the rest of the week. Meanwhile, my stepfather is off in Colorado hiking with his sons. What do you bet that DG and Maman are having a rendezvous? DG hardly ever goes to NY on business.
These are the scenarios I’ve imagined late at night. (1) Maman and DG have an affair, which goes badly. DG is hurt and full of resentment. He decides that I’m too painful a reminder. I am fired. (2) Maman and DG have an affair, and Fiona finds out and makes trouble for DG and me. I am fired. (3) Maman and DG fall madly in love and decide to divorce their current spouses and get married, which succeeds in ruining both my professional and personal lives. I quit. (4) Maman and DG have a fling; DG breaks it off, having vowed never to do this kind of thing. Maman is philosophique. (5) The Nelson Rockefeller scenario: DG has a heart attack in a hotel room while Maman is with him. (This one is so awful, I never go any further.)
There was a time in my life, barely two months ago, when I never thought about divorce or adultery—I thought I was doing a halfway decent job putting my parents’ messes behind me. Since I was hog-tied into doing this divorce: I’m practicing a kind of law I don’t like; Fiona has me in her sights; my mother and my boss are playing with fire; and the man I was falling in love with turns out to have a crazy wife with whom he’s still in love. Is this chaos theory? (I wrote a memo to DG about Fiona this week. I shouldn’t have done it. I sounded childish, pathetic; he was not at all sympathetic.)
I don’t know what to do about Harry. I hate having this feeling of being stuck and unhappy. Which reminds me: I think Papa and Sally may be having tough times. He’s being very difficult. (Nothing new there, but there’s a sharper edge to his unhappiness. Luc noticed it, too.) He’s staying by himself up at the country house most of the week. And this summer he’s planning to be in England, to do research on his book on the Boer War, and I don’t think Sally’s going with him.
The Divorce Papers: A Novel Page 19