I’m reaching the end of my rope. I’ve really come to detest Daniel for what he’s done to Jane, to me, to all of us. Lately I’ve taken to planning his funeral. A moving and beautiful event at Mather Chapel, with live music, and not only the great organ, but singers, an alto and cantor. I’m thinking the “Erbarme dich” aria (which he loves) from the St. Matthew Passion and the Kaddish.
I’m going to bed now. It’s very late. I’m weepingly tired. I’d like a boys’ chorus to sing “Jerusalem” at my funeral.
What changes do you recommend making to our settlement offer?
Best,
Mia
TRAYNOR, HAND, WYZANSKI
222 CHURCH STREET
NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555
(393) 876-5678
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
July 16, 1999
Maria Mather Meiklejohn
404 St. Cloud Street
New Salem, NA 06556
Dear Mia:
I’ve reworked the savings and retirement terms of our offer under the separation agreement in recognition of your mother’s trust, giving you all the stock money and giving Daniel the rest. They will have trouble refuting it, as you are only receiving the funds (with interest) which your father gave you and Daniel as gifts over the last 18 years. I’m of two minds whether (a) I should simply give Kahn notice of the trust and its terms and see how he responds, or (b) I should put forward the offer. I’m not, as you know, a huge fan of conventional negotiations (taking two extreme positions and lurching toward rationality), and the approach I’ve used so far has been to say: “This is what we’re offering, and we mean it. If you don’t like it, we’ll let the judge settle it.” There will likely be resistance to the new offer, but I recommend brazening it out. I know you want the matter settled, but time is a tool and the longer we put off the settlement, the more likely we are to get the terms we want. Also, we need the psychiatrist’s report on Jane. Hang in there.
Yours,
Anne Sophie Diehl
You GO Girl
* * *
From: Mia Meiklejohn
To: Sophie Diehl
Date: Tue, 20 July 1999 20:11:49
Subject: You GO Girl 7/20/99 8:11 PM
Dear Sophie—
You’re right, they’re not going to like it, but I like it and I’m the client.
Jane has been to see Dr. Fischer five times now. She’s doing better. She’s crying less and talking back some. Last night at dinner, she said, “Daddy thinks he’s the center of the universe, and you think I am. You’re both wrong.” Ah, the dueling Durkheim solar systems. She’s right. I’ve got two appointments with Dr. Fischer set up, and next week Jane and I go to see her together. I’m assuming Daniel will see her also, and if he doesn’t, res ipsa loquitur, as you lawyers say. (I’ve not only been studying for the LSATs, I’ve been browsing in various law books. Why is a tort called a tort?)
Did I ever tell you that one of the reasons I was attracted initially to Daniel was his last name? I somehow thought he was related to the Suicide sociologist Durkheim, but as you know, the family name had originally been Durkheimer. I’m glad I didn’t know that when we met. It would have spoiled the romance in my head. I was working at Monk’s House, which somehow made me related to Virginia Woolf. It turns out suicide has absolutely no charm for me; murder’s more up my alley. I knew you were the right lawyer for me.
Best,
Mia
Maman Explains
* * *
From: Sophie Diehl
To: Maggie Pfeiffer
Date: Tue, 20 July 1999 22:48:29
Subject: Maman Explains 7/20/99 10:48 PM
Dear Maggie,
I just got off the phone with Maman. I called her to talk about our run-in with Papa at the diner. I couldn’t get it out of my mind; I don’t understand why he does those things. Maman was most uncharacteristically forthcoming. She never talks about Papa to me or the sibs, though in his presence she can be mean as a ferret, which says a lot in its own way. She said she guessed she knew how I felt because, especially in the late years of their marriage, he didn’t pay her any mind either. He liked the way she looked; he liked the money she made (though he was mean as a ferret about the books she wrote); he liked the family life, the four attractive French-speaking children, the dinner parties, the summers in Wellfleet. But he didn’t listen to her. What most infuriated her, she said, were the times he’d tell her something X had said when it was something she had said to him only a few days earlier. The final blow was the time he said, “I was talking to Michael Wood about The Big Chill and he said that the most interesting thing about the Kevin Kline character was not all the money he made in his post-hippie years or impregnating the friend but the insider trading.” She was making dinner and almost hit him with a skillet. Two days earlier, as they were walking out of the movie, she had said, almost verbatim, what Wood had said. “That’s the last time I cooked him dinner when I didn’t have to feed you children as well.” She went on, “Our marriage ended because I couldn’t make him see me or hear me or do anything I wanted or needed. I could only be as selfish and mean as he was to get his attention. And that was ruinous.” Maman said she thought it was a generational thing, the inability of men born before 1955 to listen to their wives. “They could listen to other women if they had to (a boss, a professor, a judge, even a professional colleague) but not to their wives. I used to think it was the timbre of the voice, the higher pitch of women’s voices, but I had a low voice, and it didn’t dent your father’s consciousness. I keep hoping men of your generation are better. I think your brothers are better, but I’m not their girlfriends. But look,” she said, “he’s your father, not your husband. You can’t divorce him, and you can’t abandon him, not on grounds of inattention. You’ve got to find a way to make him see you and hear you. I couldn’t do it, but I wasn’t his daughter. He loves you, in his own troubled and tortured way.”
I wondered, as Maman was speaking, if she was crying. Probably not, she never does, but, boy, she sounded so sad. It’s true: you never get over that first big love when it goes wrong. It breaks your heart or hardens it. I think it did both to Maman.
Love,
Sophie
TRAYNOR, HAND, WYZANSKI
222 CHURCH STREET
NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555
(393) 876-5678
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
July 21, 1999
Ray Kahn
Kahn & Boyle
46 Broadway
New Salem, Narragansett 06555
Dear Mr. Kahn:
It has come to our attention recently that our client, Maria Meiklejohn, is the beneficiary of a testamentary trust, created under her late mother’s will. The trust vests in 2007, on Ms. Meiklejohn’s 50th birthday. The trust held $400,000 at the time of probate in 1982. It will no doubt yield a considerable sum at the time of vesting, but it provides no mechanism for invasion prior to vesting in the absence of an emergency. Proctor Hand is the trustee.
We expect that the existence of the trust will affect the allocation of investments and retirement funds under the Durkheim/Meiklejohn separation agreement, but we do not expect it to affect child support, maintenance, or other property divisions. I have attached a revised settlement offer affecting savings and retirement investments.
Clapper’s Narragansett Legal Dictionary defines an emergency as “an unforeseen occurrence or event, an accident; an unexpected, undesirable event, often resulting in harm or damage or the threat of harm or damage.” Webster’s Third New International Dictionary defines emergency as “an unforeseen combination of circumstances or the resulting state that calls for immediate action; a pressing need [or] exigency …”
The Narragansett courts have uniformly applied a restrictive reading of an “emergency.” In Baxter v. Baxter, 283 Nar. 443 (1995), the Narragansett Supreme Court, quoting both Clapper’s and Webster’s, characterized an emergency as a “lim
iting term” that “allows the invasion of a trust only under extraordinary circumstances.” It specifically rejected the argument that an emergency could encompass “a beneficiary’s expenses for health, education, support, or maintenance,” contrasting it with the “far looser standard of necessity,” which would cover “the essentials reasonably needed to maintain a beneficiary’s station in life.” It is clear that the trust cannot be invaded on behalf of Ms. Meiklejohn for her maintenance or support.
Yours,
Anne Sophie Diehl
Maria Mather Meiklejohn and Daniel E. Durkheim
Settlement Breakdown: Summary
Revised Offer
Daniel Durkheim’s TIAA-CREF Retirement Accounts: $600,000
Counteroffer: Daniel Durkheim to receive $300,000; Maria Meiklejohn to receive $300,000
Revised Counteroffer: Daniel Durkheim to keep $600,000
Daniel Durkheim’s 401(k) Plan: $300,000
Counteroffer: Daniel Durkheim to receive $150,000; Maria Meiklejohn to receive $150,000
Revised Counteroffer: Daniel Durkheim to keep $300,000
Stock Market Investments: $700,000
Counteroffer: Daniel Durkheim to receive $350,000; Maria Meiklejohn to receive $350,000
Revised Counteroffer: Maria Meiklejohn to receive $700,000
Treasury Bills: $90,000
Counteroffer: Maria Meiklejohn to receive $45,000; Daniel Durkheim to receive $45,000
Revised Counteroffer: Daniel Durkheim to receive $90,000
Joint Savings Account: Originally $80,000; Now $16,000
Counteroffer: Daniel Durkheim to receive $16,000
Revised Counteroffer: Maria Meiklejohn to receive $16,000
Revised Counteroffer: Comparison with Original Counteroffer
Account DD Revised MMM Revised DD Original MMM Original
TIAA-CREF $600,000 0 300,000 300,000
401(k) Plan 300,000 0 150,000 150,000
Stocks 0 700,000 350,000 350,000
T Bills 90,000 0 45,000 45,000
Savings 0 16,000 16,000 0
TOTAL $990,000 $716,000* $861,000 $845,000
The total amount in retirement funds and savings is $1,706,000. Under the revised offer, Dr. Durkheim receives $274,000 more than Ms. Meiklejohn, and $131,000 more than he would have received under the original offer. Previously, he would have received only $16,000 more than Ms. Meiklejohn.
July 21, 1999
* Bruce Meiklejohn has given the couple $20,000 a year as gifts ($10,000 each) for the last 16 years. At 8% compounded annually, those funds (totaling $320,000) would have grown to approximately $650,000, an amount roughly equivalent to the stock fund. The $16,000 in savings acknowledges Ms. Meiklejohn’s contribution to the down payment of the St. Cloud Street house. The operating principle here is that each party keeps roughly the monies he/she contributed to his/her separate and joint accounts.
* * *
Re: Maman Explains
From: Maggie Pfeiffer
To: Sophie Diehl
Date: Wed, 21 July 1999 23:23:14
Subject: Re: Maman Explains 7/21/99 11:23 PM
Dearest Sophie—
I’m sorry I’ve been so slow getting back to you. It’s exhausting doing these plays, exhilarating but exhausting.
I never heard from your dad. He never told me he saw me in the play; he never dropped a line about my performance. I wouldn’t have known he had seen it, or seen me, if you hadn’t run into him at the diner. He may not be completely human; or is it just his Englishness? I find it moving, his inability to tell me I was good, but as your mother said, I’m not his daughter. I can see how painful it was for you.
Take heart. There are young men out there who do listen, who are supportive, who see you and hear you. Keep your eyes open; you’ll find someone who’s worth talking to. But I should probably check him out first.
Love,
Maggie
KAHN & BOYLE
46 BROADWAY
NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555
(393) 876-4343
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
July 27, 1999
Ms. Anne Sophie Diehl
Traynor, Hand, Wyzanski
222 Church Street
New Salem, Narragansett 06555
Dear Ms. Diehl:
I am in receipt of your letter of July 21. I was surprised on two grounds: first, that we hadn’t previously been informed of the trust; and second, that you have made adjustments only in your demands for Ms. Meiklejohn’s share of the investment funds and are continuing to make exorbitant child support and alimony claims. Dr. Durkheim entered into negotiations entirely in good faith and made an offer he thought was generous. In light of the trust, he thinks that his original offer is exceedingly generous and sees no basis to make any changes to the child and spousal support offers. As for the various investment accounts, he finds untenable your assumption that Ms. Meiklejohn should recover all the gift money provided by her father to the couple. Half the money was gifted to Dr. Durkheim, and he has every reason to believe it was sincerely gifted. It would be cynical to think differently. A fairer distribution of investment funds would recognize his share of the gift money as well as Ms. Meiklejohn’s expectations under the trust, which in seven years is likely to reach $4 million. We propose the following:
Account Dr. Durkheim Ms. Meiklejohn
TIAA-CREF 600,000 0
401(k) Plan 300,000 0
Stocks 350,000 350,000
T Bills 45,000 45,000
Savings 40,000 40,000
TOTAL 1,335,000 435,000
I look forward to hearing from you. I have every confidence that we shall be able to conclude this agreement promptly. The terms Dr. Durkheim offers are fair and balanced.
Sincerely yours,
Ray Kahn
MARIA DURKHEIM
404 ST. CLOUD STREET
NEW SALEM, NA 06556
August 3, 1999
Daniel-
Your lawyer is giving you bad advice. I could well be dead before either the MV house or my mother’s trust vests. As you know, my mother had a virulent form of breast cancer, dead in under 2 years. Her mother also died in her 40s of breast cancer. I’m careful; I get checked; treatment’s better, but that could very well happen to me. So stop being such a shit. And stop feeling sorry for yourself (as you tell Jane all the time because she doesn’t have leukemia). I don’t have any money now. I want to go to law school. I supported you for years. I came to New Salem with you. I’m so tired of you. Piranha as victim. I’m not beggaring you, and I’d be using a lot of the money to make sure Jane’s life doesn’t change more than it has to. How much more unhappy does she have to get before you stop dicking around? Get yourself a lawyer who can make a deal. We’ll never get anywhere with that piece of lowlife scum you hired. What made you hire him? He’s under investigation by the state bar, for God’s sakes. Do you know who else hired him? Jason Peele.
If you don’t stop dicking around, here’s how it’s going to play out. (1) I am not only NOT going to move out of the house, I’m going to ask for the house. It’s the house Jane grew up in; she should stay there. And if you come back asking for custody, (2) I’m going to depose Dr. Stephanie to find out how she’ll help raise Jane, and then I’ll depose all your research and departmental staff on the number of hours you work each week. Then we’ll have all of Jane’s teachers deposed on how she’s doing in school. And her doctor, her soccer coach, her piano teacher, and Luz. (3) Are you still smoking the odd joint for medicinal purposes? (4) I’m going to ask the judge to appraise your medical degrees (as the most valuable asset of the marriage) and ask for future earnings separate from alimony. (If my mother’s house is on the block, so are your M.D. and Ph.D.) (5) I’m going to ask for the Audi instead of the Saab. I drive more than you; I should have the better car. (6) I’m going to ask for Fido. He’s devoted to Jane and Jane is devoted to him. And there’s Tito to consider; he would be very lonely without Fido.
(7) I’m going to sic Traynor, Hand’s PI and forensic accountant on you, and they’re going to find out every dime not to say every fart you ever made. (Of course, we’ll want to know every grant application you have pending, so you might provide that information. Otherwise we’ll go to the NIH and NSF.) (8) I’m going to make sure all this takes at least five years, and if you continue to act like an asshole, (9) I’m going to bring an eviction proceeding against you; and (10) I’m going to turn my cousin loose; he intervened to stop publication of the Falk story for my sake and Jane’s. Not the hospital’s; not yours. He thinks you’re an asshole, too, an arrogant asshole.
If you do stop dicking around, you’ll also need to: (1) Sign up for the Parent Education Class. You can’t get a court date unless you’ve taken the class or we’ve agreed to forgo. And why would I agree to that? (2) Make appointments to see Dr. Fischer. We each agreed to meet with her.
As the old joke goes, you are such a schmuck, you are the world’s second biggest schmuck.
Mia
P.S. Jane and I are off to Martha’s Vineyard on Saturday for three weeks. Let’s finish this.
August 10
Dear Poppa,
I’m going to ask you a very very very big favor. You and Mom have to stop fewding about the house and get some inside toilets. I hate the outhouses even with the new Sweedish composting toilets. If I have to go to the bathroom at night, I wake Mom up. I don’t want to go out there in the dark by myself. It’s too too scary. And I hate the chamber pots. You have to admit they are soooo gross. I agree with Mom. I don’t want a fancy house, just one with white inside flush toilets. If you would do that for me, I’d be very greatful to you. Mom says we could put one toilet in the linen closet upstairs and one in the dish cabinet next to the kitchen. We could also put one in the upstairs bathroom.
The Divorce Papers: A Novel Page 28