by Carol Finch
Nate barely had time to punctuate his comment before Tammy vaulted from the car and stared across the pasture to note the sparkling pond at the base of a rugged ravine. Smiling in satisfaction, he watched Tammy admire the spectacular view, then he glanced back to gauge Katy’s reaction.
She didn’t disappoint him.
She never could.
“Oh, Nate, this is absolutely spectacular,” Katy complimented him. She inhaled a deep breath of country air. “This must be what freedom feels like, the view of wide-open spaces, the whisper of wind.” She wrapped her arms around herself and smiled. “I can almost picture this setting in a book.”
Forget the books, thought Nate. Picture you and me in reality.
“You like?” he said instead.
“I love,” Katy said sincerely. “You’re right. There is something very symbolic and gratifying about building on this site. Very appropriate.”
When she glanced at him momentarily, he saw renewed sparkle in those sky-blue eyes. His breath caught, and sweet memories bombarded him. It wouldn’t take too many more glimpses of Katy’s blossoming spirit for him to fall in love with her all over again. Could she deal with that? Would she be afraid to try, after the hell she had endured in her marriage? Would she ever trust him enough to try?
One step at a time, Nate cautioned himself. Don’t rush her. She can’t transform herself into the old Katy overnight.
“Come inside and I’ll show you around,” he invited Katy and her niece.
The moment Nate opened his front door, Taz was there to greet him—practically beating Nate to death with that wagging tail. The mongrel whined pitifully for a pat on the head. Nate reached down to comply.
Tammy giggled as she watched the love-starved mongrel lean heavily against Nate’s leg. “This mutt lives in your fancy house?”
“Tammy Marie!” Katy chastised her niece immediately.
“It’s okay,” Nate insisted, scratching the dog behind the ear. “Taz isn’t much to look at, but he’s loyal and lovable. If he gets carried away trying to make your acquaintance and begging for pats, just tell him to sit. That’s about the only command I’ve had time to teach him.”
Sure enough, Taz slobbered all over Katy and Tammy in his effort to be petted. Ugly or not, Taz had a unique method of winning friends. It was those sad eyes, the way he tipped his head sideways in silent pleading. Nate wondered if he should take lessons from his dog. Both women cooed and fussed over the mutt, as if he were as special as a purebred that sported an impressive pedigree.
Katy stopped short when she saw Fuzz Havern sprawled in a recliner, watching an Andy Griffith rerun on the oversize TV. She felt uncomfortable in his presence, knowing full well that he had seen her several times after Brad had knocked her around, then threatened worse if she told the sheriff the truth about her bruises.
She wondered if Fuzz had filled Nate in on her not-so-blissful marriage. The thought made her stiffen, recoil. Was Nate being especially nice to her because he pitied her? She glanced sideways to see Nate smiling at her, giving none of his thoughts or emotions away.
“You remember Fuzz Havern, don’t you?” he asked Katy. “Tammy, this is the former sheriff of Coyote County. He is now my personal consultant and ranch foreman.”
Fuzz brought his lounge chair to an upright position, then waved away the glorified titles Nate bestowed on him. “Don’t pay any attention to all that baloney, Tammy,” he said as he came to his feet. “I’m retired, and all I do is gaze out the window at irregular intervals to see if the herd of cattle has broken through the fences.” He hitched his thumb toward Nate. “He does all the work around here.”
“Nice to meet you, Fuzz,” Tammy said respectfully.
Fuzz frowned when Taz walked circles around Tammy’s legs, just in case she felt inclined to reach down to pet him. “That mutt bothering you, girl?”
“No, sir.” Tammy patted the mutt’s broad head. “I always wanted a dog, but Dad isn’t home much, and he said I shouldn’t impose on Aunt Katy by making her keep up with my pet.”
“You should have said something, honey,” Katy murmured. “I wouldn’t have minded you having a dog.”
“Excuse me a minute,” Nate said as he turned on his heels. “I’ll tell the cook to set a couple of extra plates for supper.”
“The cook?” Katy glanced curiously at Fuzz.
He nodded and grinned broadly. “Mary Jane Calloway is now on staff here.”
Katy blinked in disbelief. “Nate hired her away from the Coyote Café? No wonder Lester Brown was more out of sorts than usual at lunch today. I wondered why my meal was below par.”
“Yesterday was Mary’s first day here,” Fuzz explained, still grinning. “She loves it here, by the way. She’s doing half the work for more pay. As far as Lester-the-Mouth is concerned, he deserves to go home and eat his own cooking. That is, if he can get off his lazy patoot and cook for himself.”
Fuzz walked over to take Katy’s hand and patted it fondly. “So how are you doing these days, Katy? I haven’t seen much of you lately.”
“I’m fine,” she said neutrally.
“Still dealing with those tightfisted old coots on the city council, in hopes of increasing the library funds?”
She nodded, withdrew her hand, then glanced at the original oil paintings that graced the walls. “Nate really has a lovely home, doesn’t he? I’m so pleased that he has made a good life for himself.”
“Amen to that. The boy deserved a chance to break loose from the mold cast for him. I did what I could, and he has repaid me a hundred times over for the good deed.” Fuzz waved his arms in expansive gestures. “I still can’t believe I’m living in this palace, after years of being cramped up in that cracker-box garage apartment.”
“Dinner will be served in thirty minutes,” Nate announced as he ambled through the hall. “Wanna take the tour now?”
“I’m ready!” Tammy enthused as she strode forward, tugging Katy alongside her.
Chapter Five
Katy oohed and aahed at the doorway of every room, while Tammy put in a “Wow, cool!” The place was indeed impressive, Katy noted. Each room had a cozy country atmosphere that spelled home. She could have curled up in any room and been content to stare at the marvelous artwork.
Picture windows provided plenty of sunlight and breathtaking views of the wild tumble of arroyos that slashed through the plains. The carpet was so thick Katy was sure she could have camped out on it for the night and awakened well-rested. The leather furniture looked soft enough to mold itself around her body—it would be like floating on air. And the bathroom! Katy sighed appreciatively at the Jacuzzi bath, oversize shower stall, spacious counters and marble sink. She could almost visualize herself lounging in that monstrous tub, letting the pulsating jets massage her aching leg, while she sipped wine by candlelight….
She brought her thoughts to a screeching halt, telling herself that she would never enjoy the luxuries that were found in Nate’s home. Just friends didn’t bathe at each other’s houses or sleep over….
The runaway thought made Katy flinch. No, she definitely wouldn’t find herself romantically involved with Nate. She would only disappoint him, repulse him. Heaven knew Brad had told her countless times that she was a cold fish swimming in arctic waters, that she didn’t know how to please or satisfy a man. Katy couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing Nate, and she was sure she had been a disappointment to him that first time they made love in the back seat of his car. Of course, he had been too polite to say so.
Brad didn’t have that problem. He ridiculed Katy constantly.
“And this is my room,” Nate said as he led the way down the hall.
Hesitantly, Katy approached the doorway. She wasn’t sure she wanted to picture Nate in his bed. The vision would be too tormenting. Yet, it would have been difficult to explain why she preferred to bypass this particular room, so she edged into the doorway.
Katy noted the oversize, floor-to-ceiling p
icture windows and king-size bed that was covered with a luxurious comforter of soft gold-and-brown earth tones. Her breath sighed out in appreciation. The room suited Nate perfectly.
The private bath with its solar-tube lighting, whirlpool and shower was every bit as impressive as the main bath, Katy also noted.
“Gosh!” Tammy chirped. “I could sleep in that tub. It is humongous!”
Nate chuckled. “You’ll have to fight Taz for it. I’ve caught him in here once or twice. He seems to prefer sleeping where the sun shines down on him.”
Nate glanced at Katy for approval. The look reminded Katy of days gone by—when he was a teenager fighting to make a place for himself in a town that refused to accept him. Her heart melted and dripped like butter down the ladder of her ribs when she stared up at him. She was assailed with the fierce need to assure him that he had made perfect choices while designing his home.
“If Better Homes and Gardens hasn’t contacted you yet, they will soon,” she insisted. “This house is a fairy-tale dream come true. You have a walk-in closet, too, I suppose?”
While Katy and Tammy marveled at the oversize closet, Nate glanced at his watch. “We better take a quick look at the indoor pool, then let Fuzz give you the guided tour of his quarters. I don’t want him to feel slighted.”
“You have an indoor pool?” Tammy questioned, amazed. “Fuzz has his own private quarters?”
“Yes and yes,” Nate responded to the rapid-fire questions. “Swimming helps me unwind after a hectic day. As for Fuzz, I wanted him to have enough private space that he wouldn’t feel hemmed in.”
“Lead the way,” Katy requested. “We don’t want to miss a single detail of this marvelous house.”
Nate strode off, feeling immensely satisfied. Katy had given her wholehearted approval. He wondered if she had any idea what that meant to him. Truth be told, he had found himself wondering if Katy would appreciate the house plan and decor each time he made a decision about the blueprints and the furnishings. He hadn’t realized that she had colored his thoughts to such extremes…until now.
He hadn’t realized he had never gotten over needing her approval and acceptance until now, either. Had he simply fixated on that one bright, shining memory from his youth? Or was there still something simmering beneath the surface, waiting to be tested, nurtured, rekindled?
Would Katy be willing to retest the affection they once shared? Had the bastard she was forced to marry killed her desire for future relationships?
Nate knew Katy had lived with so much fear and tension that she had learned to be afraid of men. She had lived with so much ridicule that she had lost her self-confidence. Would he ever have the old Katy back? Would he ever see that sweet, loving, generous young woman who could smile that dimpled smile and make his world seem twice as bright?
Nate raked his fingers through his hair and called himself nine kinds of crazy when visions of Katy lying in his arms practically jumped up and bit him. This was his first official outing with Katy in sixteen years, and there were two chaperones underfoot. Three, if you counted Mary Jane Calloway, who had a habit of buzzing in and out of rooms like a house afire. Yet, here he was fantasizing about close encounters of the most intimate nature. But damnation, he was inexorably drawn to Katy, though she downplayed her femininity these days and she didn’t offer a man the least bit of encouragement.
But the chemistry was still there for Nate, at least. Even when Katy was hesitant to let him stand too close or hold on to her too long, he could feel the fires of desire smoldering beneath his nonchalant façade.
Lord, he’d like to come right out and ask her if she felt something, too, because the chances of burning himself into a pile of frustrated ashes were increasing with every moment he spent with her.
On the way down the hall Nate glanced longingly at his private bath. He wished he could spare time for a cold shower before supper. These forbidden longings that kept creeping under his skin when he let his guard down needed an icy dousing.
“We really should get back to town,” Katy said uneasily as Nate led her away from his house.
Although Katy had felt relaxed and at ease during the past hour, while savoring Mary Jane Calloway’s fried chicken, mashed potatoes and cream gravy, wariness assailed her when Nate insisted they take a stroll down to the pond.
“This will only take a few minutes,” Nate told her, leading the way down the rocky ravine. “I want to show you the place where I hid out when my dad went on one of his binges when I was a kid.”
The comment prompted Katy to quicken her pace. Despite her awkwardness with spending a few minutes alone with Nate, she did want to see the spectacular view so she could visualize him as that lost, lonely kid he had once been.
It was because of Nate, for Nate, that she agreed to this hike at sunset.
Nate halted on the pond bank, then gestured toward a wild tumble of rocks below the cliff. “I used to sit there in the dark as a kid, tucked between those rocks. I preferred to take my chances with scorpions and snakes rather than confront my old man when he was in one of his crazed moods,” he confided. “I’d sit down here while he bellowed my name and threatened more bodily harm, then I’d sneak into the hayloft in the barn to sleep for the night.”
He stared across the rugged landscape, watching the sun cast its colorful rays and slash long shadows across the winding arroyos. “I guess the peace and comfort I found sitting out here as a kid is what lured me back to this site to build a home.”
“While my bedroom was my haven, you had the view of the whole outdoors to comfort you,” Katy murmured. “I’m so sorry your childhood was hell, Nate.”
As reluctant as Katy was to be drawn back to Nate, she felt another set of emotions stir inside her. Nate had endured so much misery in his youth. It was impossible to remain distant and remote from him when she could so easily picture Nate as a kid, huddled against the jagged rocks, hiding from the madman he called father.
Nate smiled faintly as he gazed across the rugged terrain. “Yeah, well, according to Fuzz, it is important for me to confront my unpleasant memories, accept that part of my past, and thank the Lord that all those heartaches are behind me.”
Hint, hint, Nate thought to himself. A psychiatrist he wasn’t, but he was doing all he could do to convince Katy that she also needed to face her past and conquer her demons.
“You’ve come a long way, Nate,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks, but it feels more like I’ve come full circle,” he murmured. Very slowly, carefully, Nate stepped up behind Katy—not close enough to touch or frighten her away. “You’ll probably think I’m crazy, but something about this wild, untamed country has always called to me on a level that I can’t logically explain.”
“Like you’ve been here before? At another time?” she asked.
“Yeah. Some weird kind of déjà vu, as if I were here when some of my Comanche ancestors roamed this area. Nuts, huh? You wanna start backing away from me now?” he asked.
Katy shook her head and continued to stare at the spectacular scenery of winding gullies that flattened into wide-open plains. “Not so nutty,” she assured him. “I’ve read dozens of accounts about baffling, unexplainable occurrences that resemble flashbacks.”
Nate moved a step closer—drawn to Katy like metal to a magnet. He slid his arms around her waist, then rested his chin on the top of her head. He felt her tense, as if prepared to bolt and run at the first sign of threat. But Nate didn’t move a muscle, refused to make her wary of him. He just held her carefully, loosely in his arms and continued talking.
“I used to sit here and wonder what it would be like to wander like a nomad along the caprock that slashes through the high plains. This part of Texas hasn’t changed much the past two hundred years. You either adapt to it, accept it for what it is, or you move on. I think I became a part of this land when I was a kid, became too connected to it to be satisfied living in another location. I
guess you’d have to say this land is in my blood.”
Katy ignored the uneasy sensation sliding through her, battled the forbidden pleasure of having Nate’s muscled arms encircling her. She couldn’t let herself think about what they once shared. She focused her concentration on picturing Nate as a renegade Comanche warrior thundering across this wild terrain on horseback. He would make the perfect hero for some of the Indian romances she’d read.
Katy smiled at the thought and instinctively relaxed in his arms. She didn’t realize she had laid her arms over his until she glanced down to note the contrast between her pale skin and his bronzed flesh. Sharp contrasts, vast differences, she thought to herself. Yet the attraction was still there, she realized with a sense of panic.
No, don’t go there, Katy. Don’t do that to yourself. Back away from Nate. What was between you is over, and you swore you didn’t want another man near you after the hell Brad put you through.
Reflexively, Katy stepped sideways, out of Nate’s reach. He didn’t jerk her back against him, just let her go without objection. Katy breathed an inward sigh of relief, reminding herself that Nate wasn’t Brad. She didn’t have to expect the same hurtful reactions she had grown accustomed to during her marriage.
“I guess I’ve detained you and Tammy long enough,” Nate said as he pivoted on his heels. “We’ll rescue Tammy before Fuzz talks her ear off. Give me your hand and I’ll help you up to the top of the ridge. Believe me, it’s easier coming down than it is going back up.”
Hesitantly, Katy lifted her hand up and felt the strength in his fingertips. She had touched Nate too many times already, and each moment gave rise to forbidden memories that she couldn’t allow herself to revisit. She didn’t want to feel, was afraid to feel. But Nate was right. With her gimpy leg, this staircase of stone and loose dirt made a difficult path to follow. Twice, Nate steadied her when she stumbled. The feel of his arms closing around her sent her into instant panic, and she struggled with herself to prevent pulling away from him.