by Carol Finch
“So that’s why you decided to paint and repair her house,” Katy presumed.
He bobbed his raven head. “Tried to talk her into moving in with me and selling her house, too.”
“And she said?” Katy prompted.
Nate followed Katy into the kitchen to help her dish up the meal. No way was he going to let Katy wait on him hand and foot. He suspected she had done that at Brad’s demand.
“Millie said it would spoil her image as the crazy old broad who wandered around town with her shopping basket and silly hat. She couldn’t keep surveillance in town if she was stuck out in the boondocks with me.”
“I suspect she doesn’t want to impose.” Katy poured bubbling gravy into a bowl, then retrieved the reheated roast from the oven.
“Yes, I suspect so,” Nate agreed. “But I think she was tempted. I told her she was all the family I had and that we should stick together.” Nate picked up the bowls of tossed salad and buttered corn. “I could build another wing near the indoor pool. Aquatics would be good for Millie’s arthritis…. Hey, what did you do that for?” he asked when Katy up and planted a smacking kiss on his lips.
“Just because you’re you,” she replied. “I happen to think you’re a pretty swell person, Nathan Daniel Channing.”
“You do?”
“The swellest,” she confirmed, all smiles. “Let’s eat. I plan murders better on a full stomach.”
Nate followed in Katy’s wake, marveling at the steady transformation that had taken place the past week, delighted by the return of her invigorating spirit. If he was partially responsible for Katy’s new lease on life, he could withstand Lester’s cruel taunts.
Even if leaving town was the only way to prevent Katy from getting hurt, he would do it. He didn’t want to leave her behind a second time, but he could do it, he convinced himself. He could walk away from her, if it was in her best interest, knowing that she had regained her fighting spirit and her will to live.
Nate sincerely hoped it wouldn’t take leaving town to resolve the situation. But he could not, would not, allow Katy to be hurt again. She had endured too much pain and heartache already.
Katy had cleared off the table and was ready to wash dishes when the phone rang. She tucked the portable receiver under her chin and continued her cleanup chores. “Hello?”
“Are you out of your ever-loving mind?”
Katy winced when her brother’s blaring voice nearly blasted out her eardrum. “Nice to hear from you, James. Apparently you are still in your zombie state after jet-setting from one side of the continent to the other.”
“Damn right I am,” James fumed. “I just got the most disturbing call from a concerned citizen who informed me that my daughter went out on a date with one of the local thugs! And worse, she went out with the same hoodlum last night with your permission and approval! What the hell are you trying to do? Ruin Tammy’s reputation?”
“An anonymous call?” Katy asked calmly.
“Well yes, how did you know?”
Lester Brown had struck again, Katy predicted.
Leaving Nate to rinse the dishes and stuff them in the dishwasher, Katy wandered into the living room to ensure privacy. “I suspect it is Lester Brown who is determined to stir up trouble,” Katy informed him.
“Fine, let him. I don’t give a rat’s ass about Lester. I care about my daughter!”
“Really? Is that why you’re never home and I’m raising your child?” Katy countered.
“What has gotten into you?” James demanded. “You have avoided every potential confrontation and backed away at the first sign of conflict the past few years. You don’t sound like yourself.”
“Well, you sound too much like Dad, and it’s ticking me off,” Katy replied.
“Ouch.”
“For your information, Chad Parker is a good kid who hasn’t had a lot of breaks in his life. He cares about Tammy, and she is fond of him. True, Chad wasn’t born with a silver spoon, but he is striving for a better life. He would never hurt Tammy. I’d stake my inheritance on it.”
“You sound just like you did in the old days when you defended Nate Channing. When you were in high school, Dad pitched a fit about your choice of boyfriends,” James grumbled. “By the way, the anonymous caller informed me that Nate Channing is back in town and that he is at your house as we speak.”
“Damn that Lester,” Katy muttered. “He is hell-bent on making a nuisance of himself, isn’t he. He can’t tolerate the fact that while Nate made a success of his life, Sonny went down the tubes and is seeing the world from behind bars.”
“Katy, you sound too involved in this fiasco,” James cautioned. “God knows you have been hurt enough. If I had known what was going on with your marriage, if I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my own misery—”
“It’s past, James,” she cut in. “What matters is that you have enough sense not to get caught up in Lester’s manipulative gossip. For each and every one of Nate’s good deeds in this community, Lester has twisted the truth and cast shadows of doubt on Nate’s motivation. I would like to sue Loudmouth Lester for slander. Will you take the case?”
“With my workload, are you kidding, sis? I’m scheduled to be in China all of next week and back in Washington, D.C., the week after.”
“But if it comes to that, will you back me up, James? Will you throw your legal weight around for me? This is important to me.”
He sighed heavily into the phone. “Okay, Katy, but how can you be so certain that you aren’t the one being manipulated? Lester said Nate was after your money and that—”
“Hang Lester!” she erupted. “You can’t trust anything that man says. As for you, you trusted me to raise Tammy, and I love that kid as if she were my own. I want the very best for her, you have to know that, James. She is above prejudice, and she has been taught to look past fashionable clothes and flashy cars to see into the heart and soul of people. That’s where I look when I want to know the real Nate Channing. He’s good and decent and kind and caring—”
“And you never got over him, did you, Katy?” James interrupted.
“Maybe not. I certainly never found any of those genuine qualities in the man Dad made me marry. Did you find them in the woman Dad handpicked for you?”
“Ouch again,” James mumbled.
“The truth pinches, James,” Katy told him. “What I need is your support and your trust in my judgment. As for Tammy, she has learned good judgment. And while I’m bossing you around—”
“No kidding! Are you on something?”
“Certainly not, but I want you to tune in to your daughter, starting now, this very minute. You’ve drifted apart. Get to know Tammy, even if it’s only for two days twice a month. She needs to know you’re interested in what’s going on in her life, that she can come to you when she has a problem to resolve. She needs to know you care, James.”
James chuckled. “And here I was the one who called to offer you a little brotherly advice.”
“Sorry I stole your thunder.”
“You know what? I really don’t mind all that much. You sound good, Katy, really good. Tell Nate hello for me, though I doubt he remembers me. I haven’t seen the notorious bad boy of Coyote Flats in years.”
“I’ll do that, James.”
Katy clicked off the portable phone, then pivoted to see Nate leaning leisurely against the doorjamb, his arms crossed over his chest, his feet crossed at the ankles. His dark brows were lifted in amusement as he appraised her.
“Funny, I could have sworn James was the older brother, not the baby brother. Can he deal with having you tell him what’s what?”
“He took it just fine, thank you for asking.” Head held high, Katy limped toward the kitchen to hang up the phone. “Sometimes even big brothers need straightening out…. James said to tell you hello.” She frowned, perturbed. “Lester has been spreading propaganda, and James hasn’t been around enough the last few years to know what a menace he is. James needed to know
the truth—”
Nate snagged her hands as she strode past. Her learned reaction was to pull away, but she stopped herself, then allowed Nate to draw her gently into his embrace.
“Katy, it worries me that you’re being sucked into the middle of this ongoing feud. I never, ever want you to get hurt. I’ll pack up and leave town before I’ll let—”
She pressed her fingertips to his lips, shushing him. The thought of never seeing Nate again turned her heart wrong side out and squeezed the spirit from her soul. She had dealt with losing Nate before, and she didn’t want to think about going through that torment again. Even if they couldn’t share a future, even if she couldn’t…well, share the intimate stuff…she couldn’t not have him in her life.
James was right, Katy realized. She had never gotten over loving Nate. He had been the forbidden light and love of her youth. Quite possibly, he was the one great love of her adulthood—sex or no sex included.
Nate’s attempt to improve conditions in the community touched her heart. His determination to make a difference in the lives of those five boys who had no parental guidance and encouragement stirred her soul. The way he tried to protect her, to revive her lost spirit made her adore him all the more.
Maybe it was time to find out if she could respond to a man again. If she couldn’t respond to Nate, then she couldn’t respond to anyone. Maybe it was better to know from the onset what kind of relationship they could share.
Would Nate be offended if she came right out and asked him to make love to her? Did men ever get offended by that kind of proposition? But heavens, she didn’t want to leave him with the impression that she was using him as a sexual guinea pig, either! Never that.
Uncertain what approach to take, Katy stood in the circle of Nate’s arms, arguing with herself, second-guessing herself.
“Katy, there’s something on your mind. What is it?” Nate asked. He tipped her chin up to stare deeply into her eyes. “You know you can tell me anything. I’m your confidant, your friend. What’s wrong?”
Hoo-kay, here goes, thought Katy. Just step out on that spindly limb and see if it breaks off behind you. “Nate, if I asked you to do something for me, would you do it?” she asked nervously.
“Name it and consider it done,” he said without hesitation.
“You don’t know what I’m about to ask,” she pointed out.
“Doesn’t matter,” he insisted.
She managed a grin, though she was as jittery as all getout. “I…um…want your…um…body.”
That got his immediate attention. Nate’s jaw dropped on its hinges. His eyebrows shot up like exclamation marks. “What’d you say?” he chirped.
Katy forced herself to make direct eye contact. “You heard me, Channing.”
He shifted from one foot to the other. “You think that’s a good idea? We never discussed what happened during your marriage.”
“No, we didn’t, but I suspect Fuzz filled you in on all his suspicions.” Katy swallowed nervously and toyed with the buttons on the placket of Nate’s bright-yellow knit shirt. Her courage was fizzling, and she was having serious misgivings about taking their relationship to new levels when she was uncertain about the outcome. “Look, Nate, if you don’t want—”
“Oh, I want, all right, like hell blazing,” he quickly assured her. “But I don’t want to spoil our relationship by moving too fast or expecting more than you’re prepared to give. It’s true that there is…a lot of…um…history between us. But there is also this terrific friendship that I don’t want to lose. I refuse to pressure you, and I can tell that you’re a little apprehensive about…well, you know.
“Regardless of what you might think, there haven’t been that many…er…women between now and the first time we…er…Well, hell, Katy. Don Juan I’m not.” He drew in a deep breath, raked his fingers through his hair until it stood on end, then sighed. “I don’t want to frighten you in any way. I want it to be good for both of us.”
“Good?” She felt better knowing he was as uncertain as she was.
“Okay, great, sensational, off the charts,” he said, grinning rakishly.
She peered up at him from beneath a fringe of feathery lashes. “And if it’s not?” The nervousness came rolling in like the high tide. “If I react…” She cleared her throat when the words clogged up, then her face flushed rose-red. “Nate, I was…” She just couldn’t say the word. It was too humiliating to tell him how Brad had gotten his kicks by taking her against her will, the same way he forced himself on that poor coed at college.
Nate held his breath, waiting for her to confide in him. He thought Katy needed to get the nightmare out in the open, to deal with it and then get past it. Was that the right way to handle the situation? he wondered. Was he making this more difficult for her? Well hell, he didn’t know.
“Katy, there is nothing you can’t tell me,” he said as he drew her deeper into his embrace, hoping she would find it easier to communicate with him if her face was resting against his chest, while being held comfortingly. “What did he do to you, Katy? I’m here. I’m listening and I care.”
The softly uttered words, spoken with such gentle sincerity while his strength surrounded her, was her undoing. The dam of emotion burst and Katy sobbed against his chest.
“He…raped me….” she said on a gush of breath. “He delighted in it. I hated him, but there was nowhere to run. He didn’t want me or the baby. He was trying to punish me. He didn’t accidentally drive into that electric pole. He steered my side of the car directly toward it! But the joke was on him, wasn’t it.”
When Katy all but fell to pieces, Nate scooped her up in his arms and headed toward the staircase, to her room, to the place that had been her childhood haven. He let her cry. He thought she needed a good cry, deserved it, though he bled with every hot, gut-wrenching tear that soaked the front of his shirt.
Nate eased down on Katy’s bed, cradled her possessively in his arms. For the longest time he just held her, let her cry until there were no tears left and the bitter emotions had drained out. He didn’t speak, just waited until she lay limp and spent in his arms. Then he curled his index finger under her quivering chin and tipped her flushed face to his.
“It’s over, Kat. It’s past,” he whispered, then grazed his lips across her mouth. “My miserable, hellish childhood is behind me. Your nightmarish young adulthood is gone. We survived, you and I.”
She nodded jerkily, then sniffed.
Nate tucked her head against his shoulder and laid back on the pillow. “But now we have a chance to start fresh. We’re not a couple of innocent kids in the back seat of a car, hanging on to each other, seizing a moment in an uncertain world. I suppose the world will always be a little on the uncertain side, but we know how to weather the storms, Katy. We’ve lived through the worst, following a ray of hope.”
Katy smiled against his sturdy shoulder. “When did you get so philosophical?”
“During those long days of riding the range with nothing between me and the blue sky but open space and cattle. And during those days when I was sitting in a trashy mobile home on an oil-well site all by my lonesome.
“Everybody needs to be alone with his own thoughts on occasion, to sort things out, to appreciate the best part of himself and to change the rest of it.”
“What parts did you keep?” she asked, peering up at him.
Nate stared intently at her. “I kept holding on to the things you taught me, Katy. To care about others, to take pride in my talents, to strive to improve myself.”
“You’re going to make me cry again,” she said, her breath hitching. “I look awful when I cry.”
“Do you?” he smiled. “I hadn’t noticed.”
It was that quiet statement that gave her the courage to kiss him with the intent of pushing past her inhibitions, to ignore the ugly scars that crisscrossed her hip and thigh. She touched him the way she wanted to be touched, with reverence and tenderness. Her hand glided beneath his s
hirt to feel the washboard muscles of his belly, the powerful width of his chest, knowing he wouldn’t use his strength against her, only his gentleness.
As before, he let her set her own pace, let her discover him by touch, by response. His rumbling groan encouraged her to caress him. And she did, with hands and lips and the soft stirring of breath.
“Oh, woman,” Nate said raggedly. “If this isn’t heaven, it’s as close as I’ll ever need to be.”
Chapter Nine
Katy smiled, overcome by an unfamiliar sense of feminine power. She was eager to please him, eager to erase all the bad memories and replace them with wondrous new sensations. She pulled away Nate’s shirt and drew lazy circles around his male nipples, then skimmed her moist lips over the dark furring of hair that disappeared into the waistband of his jeans.
Nate took her hand in his and placed it over the zipper of his jeans, showing her what she was doing to him, just in case she thought she wasn’t having an ardent effect on him. She heard him moan when she dipped her hand beneath his waistband to touch the ridge of his fierce arousal. For the first time Katy wanted to experience the full spectrum of lovemaking. She wanted to feel a man’s hands on her—this man’s gentle hands. Hands that held the power to heal past pain, the power to pleasure and satisfy.
Katy rose to her knees, pulled her blouse over her head, then watched him watch her with hunger in his eyes. She saw him move slowly toward her, accepting the silent invitation.
Flashbacks momentarily assailed her, but at the first tender touch of his lips, the world spun out of control and the ugliness of the past was forgotten. Katy wasn’t accustomed to unhurried lovemaking that allowed her to enjoy each tantalizing sensation, but Nate seemed to have no intention of satisfying himself in a heated rush. He acted as if he had all the time in the world to devote to her, to share mutual passion.
Katy knew that she had overcome the first hurdle of apprehension when warm, tingling sensations spilled through her. She was responding eagerly, because Nate’s caresses were like the whisper of summer wind, like the languid stroke of a feather grazing her skin. She melted into the mattress, giving herself up to him willingly, trusting him completely.