He stood with his back against the wall, his hands lost deep in the folds of his pockets. He was studying his shoes, his hair falling in thick fringes over his eyes. Those blue eyes rose, crystalline pools of electricity, and met mine, and my world stopped. My breath stopped. My heart would have stopped if it wasn’t drumming a tempo of pure elation at the sight of him. It ached, so desperate for the need to be closer. God, it was never close enough. I could crawl into him, burrow into his soul and it wouldn’t be enough.
I moved closer, as unsteady as a new born calf. He caught my hand, reeled me to him without ever pushing away from the wall. I was pulled into the space between his feet, held there as he bent my arm and twisted it around my own waist. I was pressed into him, his thighs hard against mine. I felt his heartbeat through the fingertips he traced over the curve of my cheek.
“I hate that you’re scared of me,” he murmured.
I shook my head. “I’m not scared of you.”
“No, but you’re scared of what I might say.”
I couldn’t deny it. “Yes.”
Sadness softened his eyes. “I’m sorry. I was trying to do the right thing.”
My face meshed into the soft material of his t-shirt, nuzzling like a baby kitten seeking heat and safety. My hands shook as I closed them against his spine, crushing him close.
“Then don’t leave me.” I cringed at the desperate plea wavering in my voice. I hated myself for being so needy, for clinging to him with such pathetic anxiety. But the pain, the unbearable agony throbbed like a physical wound inside my chest. I felt half-mad at the very thought of him turning his back on me and walking away. I wanted to die and it hadn’t even happened.
“I will never leave you.” His low vow whispered directly into my ear, each word laced with fervor and said carefully so I missed nothing. “Ever.”
I squeezed my eyes closed, willing away the tears clinging to my lashes. I pressed my face harder into the center of his chest, wishing with all my might that I could just melt right inside him, become a part of him forever.
“What’s wrong?” A kiss ruffled the hair at the top of my head.
I shook my head, eyes still closed. “I just … I already have so much I need to worry about. I can’t worry about losing you on top of that. You’re the only constant thing in my life. The one thing I have never had to doubt.”
His arms tightened around me. “And then I went and made you doubt me.” He exhaled into my temple. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t what I wanted. I just want you to be happy and I know how much you want normal.”
My snort was muffled by his shirt. “Well, I no longer have any idea what normal is so…”
His fingers combed through my damp tresses as he chuckled. “Well, I did think about what you said last night.”
“Which part?”
“The part about being able to stand back and watch as someone else takes my place in your arms.”
I raised my head ever so slightly to peer into his face. “And?”
There was no amusement on his face, no glimmer of laughter in his eyes. It was pure intensity in its most concentrated form.
“You would probably have to kill me first.”
I smiled. “Well, aren’t you glad then that I only want you?”
He said nothing, but his fingers drifted up and smoothed back a strand of hair off my cheek. He coaxed it behind my ear. His thumb glided along the slant of my jaw to stop at my chin. My lips parted even before he lightly touched the bottom curve. Thick lashes hooded his eyes as he studied my mouth and I ached inside. Don’t toy with me, I wanted to beg. But forming words was a luxury I no longer possessed.
“I want to show you something,” he said at long last.
“Okay,” I breathed, pretty certain I would have agreed to just about anything at that point.
“Tonight.”
I gave the briefest of nods. “Okay.”
He smiled darkly. “Come naked.”
I blinked. “What?”
He laughed. “Well, I thought I would take my chances since you were agreeing so willingly to everything else.”
I swatted playfully at him. “So what are you going to show me?”
He straightened, pushing off the wall to stand at his full height. I was forced to tilt my head back to peer up at him.
“I can’t tell you that.”
“But—”
He put up a halting finger. “Patience.”
I glowered at him. “I’m a sin, not a virtue.” Realizing what I said, I laughed. “Ha! I just made a funny.”
We started walking towards the stairway.
“Mm, can’t argue that.” He slanted me with a sidelong glance. “You are a sin.”
Scrunching my face, I shouldered him. “You’re such a dork.”
He laughed as I shook my head. I raised a hand and swiped back damp tendrils off my face and wondered briefly if I should grab a hair elastic before heading down. My hair had a tendency to do what it pleased, when it pleased. I was waiting for the day when I would wake up with it strangling me in my sleep. It was at that moment, while I was fighting to take it behind my ears when my fingers brushed my cheek and I frowned.
Isaiah had touched my cheek. I had felt it. Yet, despite the fluttering sensation in my chest, it hadn’t frozen me to him.
Doubt making me question what I knew I’d felt, I reached for his hand. I let my fingers drift down his arm until they slipped seamlessly through his and interlocked. He cast me a glance but said nothing. His fingers closed around mine, locking our palms together.
The spark was there, the soft tickle of fire that flowed from him to me. I felt the kick in my gut, but I knew I could easily let him go if I wanted to. I wasn’t a prisoner to his touch.
“I think it wore off,” I said.
“What’s that?”
I jostled our joined hands. “We can touch.”
He nodded, not seeming surprised. “It started wearing off last night when you closed the door in my face.”
“I didn’t close the door in your face!” I protested. But he was right. I had walked away. I had put distance between us without feeling as though my skin were being flayed. “What do you think happened?”
His beautiful eyes fixed on my face. “How do you feel?”
I shrugged. “Fine. Normal.”
“Maybe it was because you had just finished drinking.”
“But I had drunk from you before. It was never like that.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know.” He turned forward. “We won’t know until it happens again.”
“It can’t happen again,” I said at once. “Isaiah, you can’t let it. You know how dangerous it is.”
“No, I don’t.” He stopped walking and faced me. “And neither do you,” he said when I opened my mouth. “All I know is that you need my blood and so long as I’m alive, I’m not going to stop you.”
“But Garrison said—”
“What? That we’re weapons? People can’t be weapons. There isn’t a bomb inside you waiting to go off because you drank from me. It’s physically and scientifically impossible. The only thing my blood does is keep you alive.”
I rocked my head furiously from side to side. “You can’t know that!”
“Yes, I do and do you know how?” He moved a step closer. “Because no one knows you better than I do. I haven’t just been watching you our whole lives. I’ve felt you from miles away. I’ve heard your voice without you ever opening your mouth. I know what’s inside you and it’s not evil.”
Oh how I wanted to believe him. God I wanted so badly to accept the beautiful lie he was telling. How simple it would have been to live in such ignorance. But he was wrong.
“Then why do I feel evil?” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “That … thing, living inside me, it’s dark and it’s evil and I don’t think I can control it forever.”
His blue eyes searched my face. He took my arms lightly. “What are you talking about?”
/> I raised my gaze to him. “Death.” I swallowed hard. “It wants death and it wants you.”
He jerked back, but didn’t release me. “What?”
I dampened my dry lips. “It wants me to drink and every time I do, it grows stronger.” A tear slipped down my cheek. “I’m scared, Isaiah. I’m so scared this thing will win and I won’t be able to stop it. I’m scared…” I looked down at my hands with their slim fingers and clean nails and saw them covered in blood. I squeezed my eyes closed. “I’m scared my dreams will come true.”
He knew about my dreams. Every time I awoke from one, screaming and hysterical, he’d been there, drawing me out, holding me close until I could breathe again.
“Hey.” He slipped a finger beneath my chin and tipped my face to his. “That is not going to happen. I won’t let it.”
“That’s just it. It’s happening and you can’t stop it.”
He took an unsteady step back, his hands falling away. Blue eyes watched me, dark with uncertainty and fear. His head swung from side to side in denial, but I knew he couldn’t deny it.
“No,” he said at last, determination stiffening his spine. “I’m going to fix this. I’m not letting anything happen to you. I don’t care if I have to kidnap Garrison and force him to undo what he’s done. I’m not losing you.”
“Isn’t that sweet.” Archer, in all his confident glory strolled in our direction. His boots made no sound, neither did his clothes. He was like a ghost, pale and quiet. He stopped next to me. “I hope I’m not interrupting.”
“What do you want?” I demanded.
“Oh where do I begin?” He sighed. “I wouldn’t say no to a red wagon.”
I squinted at him, bemused. “What?”
He shrugged. “I’ve never had one. They look fun. Oh!” He smirked. “You meant at this moment. Well, I was sent to fetch you, Princess. Your father requests an audience. He would have sent Delphi, but … well, that didn’t end so well last time. I guess he’s not as worried about my welfare. I’m a bit hurt.”
I ignored his rambling. “We were just going down—”
He shook his head. “Just you. Don’t worry,” he said when I frowned. “I’ll keep Prince Charming entertained in your absence. We’ll do that male bonding thing I’ve heard so much about.”
I glanced at Isaiah.
“I’ll be fine,” he assured me.
“See? He’ll be fine,” Archer agreed. “He’s a big boy now. I promise not to bite.”
There were no nice words to call him, so I said nothing as I pushed past him towards the stairs.
“They’re not in the dining room,” he shouted after me.
I stopped and turned. “Where then?”
They were in the library. Ashton, Celia and a small, round-faced girl. She sat in Ashton’s lap, munching happily on a cookie. I hadn’t seen Lally since the day I arrived at the castle and even then, it had been brief. I took a moment to really study my new half-sister.
She was a perfect combination of Ashton’s dark hair and Celia’s poetic features. She had her mother’s tawny eyes and nails sharpened to little spikes. When she opened her mouth to chomp on a cookie, her teeth were pointy as well. She was cute the way toddlers were supposed to be … until those golden eyes rose up and met mine. They narrowed and she bared her little fangs at me.
Yikes.
“Fallon.” Celia smiled at me. “How did you sleep?”
“I didn’t.” I stepped deeper into the room, trying very hard not to clash gazes with Lally again. “I had a lot on my mind.”
Celia nodded. “Your father told me you two talked. You must have a lot of questions.”
“I guess.” I sat on the sofa opposite the happy family. They looked like something from a holiday postcard, all happy and charming. I felt so alone and out of place. “You really like the library, huh?” I said, turning my attention to the room.
Ashton chuckled. “You seem the most at ease here.”
“We thought it would be nice for the four of us to have breakfast together … as a family,” Celia added.
I wanted to grimace, thoroughly ashamed of myself and my earlier thoughts.
“I don’t eat,” I said instead. “But thank you. The company’s nice.”
Ashton’s head tipped to the side with curiosity. “At all, or not at this moment?”
I glanced at the platter of cakes, fruit and cheese and shrugged. “I used to eat food.”
“What do you eat now?” Celia wondered.
Rather than answer, I looked to Ashton. “What do you eat?”
He looked surprised by the question, but answered, “Normal food.” As though to prove it, he reached around Lally and took up a grape. He popped it into his mouth and chewed.
It was my turn to be surprised. “That’s it? You don’t need anything else?”
He shrugged. “Well, mortal energy. That’s what keeps this place running and fuels our powers, but we can go weeks without so long as we have food.”
I contemplated the wisdom of revealing my thirst for blood. I had been so certain that Ashton would have the same needs that I hadn’t considered an alternative. Garrison had said the desire had always been in me, but how was that possible when Ashton didn’t crave the same? It certainly hadn’t been from my mom. Mom was human.
“I, uh…” I cleared my throat. “I drink blood.”
I looked from Ashton to Celia, waiting for some kind of reaction, a flicker of something to help determine just how worried I should be.
“Oh!” Celia gasped. She had gone very wide-eyed, like I’d just confessed to being part alien. “Acheron?”
He stared at me, his eyes glittering with something I didn’t know how to decipher. “That is interesting.”
“It is? Why?” I frowned warily. “How?”
“Well…” he gave a short chuckle. “It makes sense doesn’t it? I mean, now that you’ve seen what fledglings are. It would make sense for you to share their hunger for … flesh.”
I blinked, having not expected that explanation. “I’m a … what?”
“Not entirely, of course,” Ashton said hastily.
“Fledgling,” I repeated. “That’s those things we met in front of the coffee shop, right? The ones that were trying to drag Isaiah into the ground.”
Ashton nodded. “They were doing a little more than that, but yes.”
“Fledglings live on mortal flesh and blood,” Celia explained. “They dig holes underground and take their victims there to … well, eat.”
My stomach roiled at the thought of Isaiah being their next meal. “And I’m one of those things?”
“No! Of course not,” Celia said at once.
“But it does explain your need for blood,” Ashton chimed.
It did. Garrison had said that it was hardcoded into my DNA, something he couldn’t remove, something I was born with. If I should have been born a fledgling, it did make sense that I would crave blood. Had he not twisted that need and had not pointed it directly at Isaiah, I would probably be able to drink from anyone. But as it were, it was only Isaiah’s blood I needed.
Then, like any good ADD brain, I thought of something else.
“You said yesterday that you thought my Rem was coming out, but it was wrong. What did you mean?”
Ashton’s eyes narrowed in deliberation. “You’ve seen me in my Rem form, correct?”
I thought of the afternoon at the park and how he’d transformed into something vicious and inhuman, and nodded.
“What I saw happen to you wasn’t the same,” he went on. “The characteristics were there, the dark eyes, the fangs and claws, but yours was…” he trailed off, looked to Celia for answers. But she was also watching him, waiting. So he turned back to me. “Different,” he said finally.
“Different?” I mimicked. “How?”
He shook his head. “I really don’t know how to explain it.” He paused a moment while he gathered the proper words. “We,” he said slowly. “When we turn, onl
y turn partially Rem. When you turn, you are half, if not fully Rem.”
“What does that mean?” I demanded. “What is a Rem?”
“Rem is what we are underneath this.” He pressed a palm to his chest. “It’s our true form. I didn’t think you would have any Rem since your human skin is a dominant thing. I worried about that when you were being born. I wondered if you would come out with claws and black eyes. In our world, that isn’t unusual, but in the human world…”
“So…” I eyed his face warily. “That’s not what you really look like?”
“Actually, it’s not what you—”
“Acheron, enough” Celia warned him, her tone leaving no room for argument. “You know how I feel about that … talk!”
“Wait,” I argued. “But I need to know—”
“No.” Celia fixed me with those tawny eyes. “I won’t have Lally hearing this nonsense.”
In Ashton’s lap, Lally reached for another cookie off the platter. She plucked one up and chomped on it like she was envisioning my head.
“But…”
Ashton put up a hand. “It’s fine. We’ll discuss that at another time.”
I wanted to argue. They couldn’t just drop this stuff into my lap and then not explain it. But Celia was determined and Ashton didn’t look like he was ready to go against her. So I reluctantly let it go.
“What were those fledgling things doing at the park?” I asked instead.
“Like the sluaghs, they were probably drawn to the power surge I was causing,” Ashton said with the smallest grimace.
“So those things are born from humans?” I ventured, not really seeing how that was possible.
“That’s the result of us mating with humans,” Ashton corrected. “Had I not found Terrell, you would have been one of those creatures right now.”
I shuddered. “I almost want to say thank you.”
Ashton smiled briefly. “Terrell was supposed to make you as human as possible.”
Touching Fire (Touch Saga) Page 18