by Aja Cole
“Tell me more about this shoot, Riza.”
7
Mickey
“He was hot,” Kaija says, like I’m not still annoyed that she wouldn’t stop bringing up Brandon.
I haven’t told anyone what happened between us, and I don’t intend to.
Why can’t they just accept that we didn’t work, and leave it at that?
“And clearly interested in you. And since your ex is a backstabbing jerk—,”
“Just stop!” I snap. “Stop shit-talking Brandon. He didn’t do anything wrong and I’m sick of talking about it! Get over it, like I have. Are we clear?”
Kaija dips her lower lip out and stares hard at me for a second. “Fine. You gonna find out who that guy was?”
“How and why would I do that?” I leave the elevator ahead of her. “And where do you want to go for dinner?”
“There are only two tenants in this building. You and the agency. Clearly, he wasn’t at Bold, so Riza probably knows him.”
“I’m not going to ask Riza who a random man is just because you want me to get laid.”
“Oh, and you don’t want that man to lay you any way he wants to? Please. The Mickey I knew would’ve had him in that elevator, damned if I was there or not.”
“Well, I’m not that Mickey, so move on,” I say quietly and move to my car and click the fob. “You’re banned from talking about any men for the rest of the night.”
“Even mine? Cause he’s pretty damn wonderful.” She sighs, and I roll my eyes and slide into my driver’s side as she hops in on the other.
“I liked it so much better when you and Keyra were single.”
“Mickey? You home?”
My eyes fly open and I sit up in my bath, dislodging the cucumber slices from my eyelids and just barely catching them before they hit the water.
“Mom?” I call out. “I’m in the tub.”
The door opens and my mom pokes her blonde head around the door, smiling. “Hey, sweetheart.”
“Since when do you pop in without warning?”I sink my head back onto the bath cushion.
“Since my daughter hasn’t come to see me in weeks.” She sits on the closed toilet and points a finger at me. “You’re avoiding me.”
“It’s been like 9 days,” I mutter.
“And you didn’t even stay long that time. You’re avoiding me and I want to know why.” She pushes.
“This is my relaxation time. Do you see these cucumbers? These bubbles? Hear the low music?”
“I do. So, what’s up with you?” I assume she’s kicked her shoes off because I hear a thud on my tiles.
“Nothing. Everything’s going well.”
“You ever going to tell me what happened with Brandon?”
“Why does everyone want to talk about Brandon today? Does it matter to any of you that I don’t want to talk about him?” I sit up because obviously, my relaxing is over.
God, I wish I still had weed. A little bit always went a long way since I was careful never to build up a huge tolerance. Sometimes, you just need the edge off without any extra effort.
“We’re just worried about you. Things seemed to end so abruptly.”
“It ended right on time.” I stand and pull a towel from the rack, ready to strangle my family.
Unfortunately, new Mickey doesn’t want any additions to her criminal offenses.
“Bold is doing a collaboration shoot with Klein this month. I think we might be able to talk them into doing a limited edition line for us and vice versa.”
“That’d be huge.” She follows me from the bathroom and sits on the bed as I walk into my closet. “Who put that into motion?”
I hesitate, and she jumps on it like a shark smelling blood in the water.
“Michaela?” She prods. “Is there something else you’re not telling me?”
“One of the new board members had some contacts they tapped, and here we are.”
“And?”
I put on my robe and throw my towel into the hamper, going back into my bedroom. “And what?”
“Who is he? Have I met him?”
“Did I say he was a man?”
“You just said he.” Her voice gets singsongy at the end, and I resign myself to the fact that if I don’t give her something, she won’t stop.
I switch my robe for a nightgown and take the clip out of my hair, raking it with my fingers to get the small tangles out.
Finally, I turn to my mother, who looks like she’s holding her breath to see what I’m going to say.
“He’s a man, he’s interested in me and no, we’re not together. Anything else?”
“Is he unattractive?” She lays down and props her head up on my bed.
“No.”
“Lazy? Undisciplined?”
“No.”
“Racist?”
“No, Ma.” I frown at her. “He’s none of those things.”
“Well then color me confused, because you just said you’re not together.”
“Would you like me to get you two in the same room so you can sign me over for 50 cows?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re worth at least 100.” Her mouth twitches.
I shake my head and pick up my brush from my vanity, sitting down in front of it. I start brushing my hair and decide to just ignore her.
I see her come up behind me in the mirror, and she puts her hand out for the brush.
“What’s really going on with you sweetheart?” I pass her the brush but keep my silence, and she begins to pull it through my hair gently.
“Well if you aren’t going to talk, then I want you to listen.” She starts.
“Maybe I’ll talk after all.”
“Too late. It’s my turn.” She continues her slow brushing, and I close my eyes, leaning back into her a little. Might as well get comfortable.
“I’ve watched you become more reserved these past few months. Now, I don’t know why and I can’t read minds. But I want to say that no matter what version of yourself you are, or who you become, I am incredibly proud of you.”
I hear her swallow but I don’t want to open my eyes and look at her face in the mirror.
“I’ve always admired your spirit, your fearlessness that was sometimes admittedly very nerve-wracking for a mother to see.” She laughs a little. “But it also made me very happy, because I knew that if nothing else, you would live life the way it’s meant to be lived. So, whatever it is that you won’t share with us right now…I want you to know that you are exceptional. Watching you become so strong and always willing to be yourself makes me feel like maybe I didn’t mess up this parenting thing too badly.” Her voice hitches and I can’t help but open my eyes now, and I see her wipe away a tear quickly.
Goddammit.
I turn and hug her waist, hiding my face in her abdomen. She runs her hands over my hair the way she used to on the rare occasions that I’d let her baby me.
“Why are you so damn sappy?” I croak, but there’s obvious emotion in my voice and she laughs.
“I’m sappy enough for the both of us, huh?”
I pull back and blink at the ceiling hard, standing and moving away with a deep exhale.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to date again right now. I…there are some things I’m working through for myself.” I confess. “But if I were…it would be him. He’s…something different for me.”
She sits on the bed and scoots back to my headboard, patting the spot next to her.
“Come sit, tell me all about him.”
I move to the bed and curl up beside her, and we talk for what seems like forever, until my phone rings and I snag it from my bedside table.
It’s Riza.
“Riza, what’s up?”
“I know who your model will be shooting with for the Klein spread.” She squeals, she’s so excited.
“Really? Who?”
“I’m sending a picture right now. You’re going to love him, even though he’s a little bit rough
around the edges.”
I put her on speaker and pull my phone back, waiting for the picture to come through. When it loads, I barely stop my jaw from dropping.
My mom leans on my shoulder and whistles, “Is that him? What kind of daughter of mine are you? He’s even more attractive than you’ve described him.”
“This isn’t Hawk.” I murmur, taking in the man’s deep blue eyes and familiar mischievous smirk.
“Oh.” Her voice is disappointed. “Well…”
“I met him today Riza.” I hold the phone closer to my mouth. “He was in your offices wasn’t he?”
“Damn, I didn’t expect that. That’s a coincidence. He called me from the lobby saying he wanted the shoot, actually. Before that, he was adamant that he doesn’t do anything like this anymore.”
“Anymore?”
“I forget you’re completely not linked into sports.”
“I’m just barely into hockey now and that’s just family connections.” I yawn. It’s later than I thought.
“Well, that is Liam Daniels, former bowl winning QB and current SEC analyst. He’s only in New York for a little bit, so you’re lucky. Women love him. And when they see him then see your lingerie, they’ll love you both.”
“Riza, when did you say he accepted the offer?” My mom asks.
“Sina? I didn’t know you were there, how are you?” Riza loves my mom. I think she might love her a little more than me, actually.
“I’ll be doing even better when one of these daughters of mine gives me a wedding to plan.”
“Good luck.” Riza laughs. “But oh…uh, he called me when he was leaving our building.”
“And when did you meet him, Mickey?”
I roll my eyes, answering reluctantly. “In the elevator.”
Like I knew they would, her eyes light up with all the possibilities she’s imagining.
“So he changed his mind on something he was adamant about all because he met you?”
“You make it sound like he’s just offered me a ring already.” My eyelids feel like bags of sand.
I’m going to kick my mom and her mom-of-the-bride dreams out soon.
“I hate to break your bubble, but Liam’s not really the marrying type right now, Mrs. B. He’s also working on some personal things.”
“So is Mickey! They can work through them together.”
“Riza, I’m putting my mom out of my house now. Thank you for the call.”
“You’re welcome.” She laughs. “Later. Have a good night, Mrs. B!”
I click off before my mom can respond and nudge her towards the side of the bed.
“Time for you to leave me to my spinsterhood.”
“If you deprive me of this, I swear I’ll come back and haunt you.” She pokes me in the stomach as she gets up, and I scowl. “In all seriousness…don’t try to change yourself so much that you miss out on the people who want you regardless, okay?”
“Yes, mother.” I deadpan. “I love you, and lock the door on your way out, thank you.”
“Love you too, you ingrate.” She huffs and pats the cover as I curl up under it. “Don’t forget, Jasmine’s final track meet is Saturday after next at 1.”
“I’ll be there.” I close my eyes and eventually hear the front door close.
Except I can’t sleep, because now I’m wondering what exactly Liam Daniels plan of attack is.
And if I can resist him when he launches it.
I’ve already got one man I’m trying to keep at bay, I really don’t need two.
8
Hawk
I’m doing squats in my home gym when my wrist starts vibrating.
I don’t bring my phone down here, but I do get notifications on my smartwatch.
When the screen reads Leslie and I notice the time, I decide she’s probably having one of her very rare meltdowns.
She doesn’t believe in waking up before 6 am, says it dulls her energy.
I re-rack the weight and press the green answer button, rubbing my face and hair with my towel.
“Take a deep breath, Lee.”
“I am taking deep breaths.” She practically yells and I hold back my laughter.
“What happened?”
“We have a shoot this morning and the model is sick. SICK! I handpicked that young woman and she has the nerve to get sick on me.” Stress is clear in my sister’s voice.
“Okay, so that’s the situation - now what’s within your control?” I keep my voice calm, making sure I don’t mirror her agitation. Leslie’s the type of person that just gets even worse if someone else’s emotions are the same. Her emotions feed on others, though she never lets her clients know that.
“I don’t know. I really, truly don’t. She was everything that Michaela wanted, and I can’t shovel in someone else who doesn’t fit.”
Bingo.
“Michaela’s going to be there for the shoot?”
“Yes!” She snaps. “This is not the time for you to worry about if you’ll get to flirt or not.”
“Keep snapping at me and I won’t tell you why I’m so brilliant.” I tease, jogging up the stairs and heading to my bedroom.
I need to be at this shoot if this is going to work.
“Hawthorne Fitzgerald James, if you don’t tell me what you’re thinking right now…” She threatens, and I shake my head, scoffing.
“So listen…”
“Absolutely not.” Mickey stares me down. “And I can’t believe I’m just being told about this at the last minute.”
“Give me a good reason why you’re saying no.” I cross my arms, leaning against the closed door. I’m basically stopping her from leaving, but I don’t feel any guilt about it because I think this is an even better option than the original one.
“Other than the fact that I don’t model anymore? Other than the fact that I don’t want to? Are you really telling me those aren’t reason enough?” She’s angry and trying her best to hold it in because that hand is tapping away at her leg. “I don’t have time for this and I…you would do this today?” She twists the fabric of her skirt in her hands and I realize maybe it’s not fully anger after all, but fear.
“What are you afraid of?” I push off the door and walk closer to her, watching her green eyes widen as she moves back.
“Don’t make this about some stupid idea you’ve gotten in that thick head of yours.” Her eyes glint. “This is about you and your sister being incredibly unprofessional and thinking your idea trumped letting me know important details on the morning of one of the most vital things this company has ever done for its advertising. I don’t have a goddamned model.”
“You do.” I encourage her softly, smiling when she meets the wall and can’t go any further. The room isn’t that big and was probably a small storage closet at one point. “And we seem to keep finding ourselves in this position.”
“You keep putting me in this position. I need to call around and see if I can salvage this.”
I tip her chin up, something that just feels natural to me now. The woman is stubborn as an ox.
She still hasn’t granted me another date, but I’m a patient man. We’ve talked on the phone at night now, sometimes until one of us falls asleep.
“Even if I couldn’t stand you, I could see the smart decision of making you the face of Bold with this campaign. You are Bold. This is your baby, your vision, and why shouldn’t you be standing right in the middle of it?”
I don’t know what I said wrong, but she closes her eyes and sags against the wall, everything seeming to go out of her.
It’s alarming. I start to open my mouth, but before I can, she does.
“I don’t know why everyone thinks I’m this fearless person.” Her voice hitches. “I’m not bold. I don’t have it all figured out. I’m just trying to…I don’t know! I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”
“Did anyone ask you to have it all figured out? Or are you putting that on yourself?”
“I…”
“What happened before we met? I know this isn’t just about you thinking I might’ve been involved with someone when you ran out that night.” I move back and lean against the edge of the small table in the room, pulling her forward by her hands so she’s standing in between my legs.
I run my thumbs lightly over her hands as I hold them, wanting her to know she can take her time.
“The last man I slept with before you was the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with.”
Well, I’ll be damned. Not completely what I was expecting, but I don’t want to interrupt.
She stares at our hands as she talks, and I don’t ask her to look at me even though I like watching her face when she speaks.
This isn’t about me.
“It’s my fault really, because I…walked away years ago. I thought I could come back and we make up like nothing had happened, but obviously, that’s not what happened. I was under the impression that things could be the way they used to be eventually…he was under the impression that I am not wife and mother material.”
“And you wanted that with him? To be a wife and mother?”
I don’t like hearing about her being that serious with another man. It puts an odd heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach, especially knowing that it’s part of why she’s holding back.
“Yes, just not when he first asked me to marry him. I wasn’t ready then. I was terrified.”
“So why did you sleep with me then do a 180? You were fine that night and that morning.”
I think I know, but I want to hear it from her.
“It’s stupid, but when I thought you weren’t single, it made me realize that the fact that I didn’t even check meant maybe I wasn’t long-term material. So I thought…I thought if I changed the things I do, maybe he’d…” She trails off, hands squeezing mine.
“Maybe he would change his mind.” I finish for her. “Maybe he’d see you differently.”
She nods silently, and I wish her hair was down instead of pulled back into a low twist.
“Do you want to know a secret?”