by Brenda Grate
The cat, a lovely calico, twitched its tail and took a cautious step forward. Emma waited, patient, letting the cat decide. It took another slow step then made up its mind. It trotted the few steps to reach Emma’s hand and rubbed under her finger, arching its back to press into her. It twirled around and rubbed again. Emma tickled under its chin, pleased the stray had decided to trust her.
The cat jumped into her lap as Emma sat back and re-evaluated. Maybe the cat wasn’t a stray. It definitely wasn’t afraid of people, only wary, as it should be. She imagined it was the taverna cat, hanging around for scraps and the occasional stroke, careful of irritated kicks.
The cat’s purrs lightened her spirit and pushed the dream further back. Emma stroked the soft fur and again looked out at the water. She and Connie would head back to the house today. They planned one more trip together, to Hydra, one of the islands, before Connie made her way home. Then, for the first time in many years, Emma would be completely alone.
Emma still hoped Brad would join her, or even that Jennifer would come back. But for now, though, Emma had to move forward on her own. She hoped this alone thing would eventually get easier.
The cat jumped off her lap and Emma got to her feet. She felt sleepy and decided she would try to get a few more hours in. She didn’t want to drag her feet all day, especially as she knew Connie would be filled with energy despite their late-night reveling.
Emma had much to look forward to for the next few days of Connie’s visit. She decided not to think about what would come after, but live each day fully and enjoy herself.
Once she was alone again, she would decide what to do next.
Chapter 34
The sea breeze carried the sting of salt. The wind blew back Jen’s hair and would have taken her hat if she hadn’t tied it on well. She stood at the front of the tour ship she’d joined in order to get to Hydra Island.
The ship’s captain stepped up beside her and asked something in Greek. She didn’t know why everyone assumed she was Greek. She didn’t think she looked Greek and felt her clothing style singled her out as a tourist. But time and again, they were surprised when she spoke in English and professed not to know a word of Greek.
“Sorry, I don’t speak Greek,” she said.
“Oh, excuse me. I asked if you were enjoying the view.”
“Yes. It’s stunning.”
The mountains framed the sea and looked exactly like she’d imagined when reading about the Greeks sailing their ships to Troy to rescue Helen.
The captain moved back inside the cabin. From the spot where she stood, she could see the panorama of blue sea and rocky mountains, and tiny islands ahead of them. The waves grew larger as they approached their destination.
Jen wiped the spray that misted her face. Her lips tasted salty. She’d never been on the ocean. Exhilarated, she didn’t leave the front of the boat until they docked.
The captain smiled and held out a hand to steady her as she stepped onto solid ground. She was the last to depart, reluctant to leave her newfound joy in sailing. She decided that before long, she would find a charter in order to experience it again in a more personal way.
“Have a good stay on Hydra.”
“Thank you.” Jen smiled at the captain. “I enjoyed the trip.”
“I’m very glad to hear it,” he said in his impeccable English. “Will you be on Hydra long?”
Jen shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll be here as long as I need to be.”
Somehow he seemed to understand exactly what she meant, even though Jen couldn’t have explained it.
“Yes, I’m sure you will,” he said, and waved to her as she stepped away.
A cat sat nearby, washing its face with creamy paws, seemingly unaware of the people teeming around it. The dark eyes squinted against the glare of the sun, its fur glistening in the light. While Jen watched, it curled up against a post and closed its eyes, looking as comfortable as if it curled up on a hearth, its family nearby.
A donkey walked past, being led by a small man bent from age. The donkey carried several large crates of goods strapped to its back. Jen felt sorry for the donkey, but it seemed quite content to do its job, perhaps thinking of its supper and the comfortable bed it would have that night.
Everything looked so foreign, even more so than Athens and Nafplio. It seemed as though the boat had been a time machine, bringing her to an era many years in the past. The tourists were the only things bringing modernity to the scene. Erase them, and it would erase a century. Jen felt sure that nothing would have changed.
She made her way toward the row of shops in the distance. She needed to find a hotel. Later, she’d search for a restaurant and then take a walk along the spectacular port. She wanted to explore her roots. Maybe one of her ancestors had lived on this very island. She could see why they would choose it. It was not only charming and beautiful, but there was a sense of safety, like they were cut off from the negativity of the world, living in their own little cocoon of warm sun, crashing surf, sturdy donkeys, and sunning cats.
It was like no other world she’d been in, and Jen found herself wanting to stay.
The port had filled with people and it was only ten a.m. Jen drank her morning coffee and soaked up the early July heat. She’d been on Hydra for a couple of weeks, but still didn’t feel any urge to move on. She’d explored much of the island and gone for dinner at the home of the owners of her hotel. She’d met a few of the shopkeepers, but mainly kept to herself. She spent a lot of time like the cats on Hydra did, quietly meditating and enjoying the sunshine and clean air.
She still hadn’t sent a message to her parents to let them know she was okay. Every time she thought of her neglect, guilt showed up like an eager gate crasher. She’d been trying to do her best to think over past events without judgment, knowing her own thinking to be flawed. There would be no way to come to terms with the past without seeing it through fresh eyes. She’d let go of some of the hurt and disappointment, but was under no illusion that there wouldn’t be a lot more to come.
A large white boat pulled into the harbor and docked nearby. She saw, to her delight, it was the same one that had brought her to Hydra. The Mantalena. She considered going to the boat to say hi to the captain—Alexandros—as she had many times since first meeting him, but felt far too comfortable in her chair.
Then her mother stepped off the boat, chattering with excitement to Connie. Jen slouched in her chair, terrified they’d see her. She’d expected her mother had gone back to Toronto weeks ago. It never occurred to Jen that she’d run into her. It reminded her of something the hotel desk clerk had said about Greece.
“If there’s someone you’re supposed to meet, you will, no matter how impossible it seems.”
Am I supposed to see my mother and Connie? I’m not ready, though.
Jen watched as they made their way up the street. Emma stooped to pet a cat. Jen’s heart wrenched. She hadn’t realized until that moment how much she missed her mother’s caring ways. No matter how many times she’d rejected Emma’s affection, it was still always there, free for the taking.
She watched them for a few moments more, hesitating between walking toward them or running in the other direction. She took a step in her mother’s direction, but then stopped.
I’m not ready to go back to my life. Everything will just go back to the way it was.
Jen dropped a five euro note on the table and headed in the opposite direction, taking the long way around to her hotel. It was time to leave Hydra and go where she felt sure she wouldn’t run into her family.
Maybe it’s time I went to Crete.
Chapter 35
The chain on the gate rattled and brought Emma out of her thoughts. She had left the gate closed but unlocked earlier on her walk to the village shop. Since Connie had flown home the day before, she was now alone and had taken some time to read in the hammock on the front porch, avoiding thoughts of the future.
Emma climbed out of the hammo
ck, turned and gasped.
Crispin stepped onto the gravel with hesitation, unsure of his welcome. In that moment, Emma didn’t care what he’d done. All that mattered was that he had come to Greece—and exactly when she needed him.
He wrapped his arms around her as she threw herself at him.
“You came!” she yelled in his ear.
He leaned back, his arms still around her. “I wasn’t sure if I should.”
“I’m glad you decided to.” Emma gave him a squeeze and stepped away. She knew her emotions were a little out of control since Jen had disappeared and Connie had just left. She couldn’t fully trust herself to make the right decisions concerning Crispin, but couldn’t deny her joy at seeing him, either.
Later, after the sun had gone down, they sat on the front porch table in the glow of candlelight and the soft lighting from inside the house, glasses of red wine in front of them.
“How did you find the house?” Emma asked.
“Remember, I had access to the divorce documents which listed the details of your Greek house, including the address. When I got here, I asked at the corner grocery where the Canadian woman lived.”
“Why did you come?” she asked. “I thought you would listen to me and stay away.”
Crispin waited a heartbeat, then said, “I knew you were upset at what I’d done, but I also knew I couldn’t let you get away without at least trying to give us another chance.”
“Are you sorry for what you did to Alan?”
“No, Emma, I’m not. And I can’t pretend to be. I am sorry that it upset you. Sorry that it might have caused your children pain. I did feel, though, that it was the best way to help you. I can’t apologize for that. It may have been morally wrong, but it was still the right thing to do. Sometimes people need to learn a lesson.”
Emma considered his words while she held her wine. Crispin’s dark hair framed a face filled with kindness and love. She’d always felt strongly that a person should always do the right thing. She’d even thought that if a person could do something immoral, then they must have something rotten at their core. Now she considered that maybe she’d been wrong, or even idealistic. Was it possible that you could lie, cheat, and even steal for someone you love and it be the “right” thing to do?
“I’m glad you came now that I’m alone. Jen and Connie are gone.”
“They both went home? Were they here together?”
“No. Jen came with me, but she decided to tour Greece on her own. We had a good time together, but she has things she needs to figure out.” Emma tried to sound strong, but her voice wobbled.
Crispin took her hand and squeezed it. “We all need to find ourselves, Emma. I’m sure she’ll be fine.”
Emma gave him a grateful smile. “She sent me an email two days ago. She’d spent some time in Hydra—funny, Connie and I went there too—and now she’s headed off to another island. She didn’t tell me where, but she did say she’s doing well.”
“See. You did a good job as a mom. She’ll be just fine.”
“Thanks Cris.”
“When did Connie leave?”
“Yesterday. She spent two weeks with me. We had a wonderful time. When she left I didn’t know what I was going to do with my time. But, now you’re here.”
“Are you happy, Emma? Really?”
“Yes. I am.” She clinked her glass against his, the tumblers of wine in their hands deep red in the candlelight. No matter what she felt about his actions, he was right about one thing. She knew it as well as she knew her own name. She loved him. And they belonged together.
“I think you’re right, you know,” she finally said.
“About?”
“If I put myself in your shoes, I would do the same for my children. I’d lie, cheat, steal or even murder to save them. I guess this situation isn’t nearly that dire, but I understand why you did it, and for that, I thank you. You risked a lot, Crispin, and maybe we could have done it differently, but I love you for what you did.”
He smiled, all the tension she hadn’t noticed draining out of his body at once. “You love me, do you?”
Emma laughed, “You would jump on the one thing I said that suits you best.”
“Of course. I’m a man, aren’t I?”
“Yes.” Emma smiled, her body feeling warm and liquid. “Yes, you are quite the man.”
“I love you, too, Emma.”
“I think you proved that already. Thank you for coming to me just when I needed you most.”
“I worried that you would be angry I showed up, especially so soon after you left. But I couldn’t eat or sleep wondering if I’d lost you forever. It was killing me, Emma.”
“Then maybe you’ve suffered enough as your punishment. One thing, though. Don’t ever do something like that again, okay? If we need to deal with something, we deal with it together after discussing the best options.”
“Agreed,” Crispin said. He took a sip and then set his glass down. “I promise, Emma. Now, are you going to tell me why you hate lawyers so much?”
Emma laughed, surprised at his question.
“It’s to do with Alan’s business. I spent years watching him rape and pillage other people’s businesses, his bevy of lawyers helping to keep him out of the muck. It didn’t seem to matter what he wanted. They would help him accomplish it, no matter who it hurt. I developed a real hate for them. I know you’re a lawyer, but I can see,” she raised a brow at him, “despite your one lapse, that you’re different. Why did you become a lawyer?”
Crispin looked down at the tabletop and fiddled with his glass. “It’s a cliché.”
“I want to hear it. I don’t know much about you yet. Please, tell me.”
“Well, I grew up with my mother and sister, Kristi, after our father left us for a younger woman. See what I mean about cliché?”
Emma nodded and held his hand.
“I never let my father forget what he’d done. We’d lived in a stately home in Toronto. After losing everything in the divorce, Mom had to move us to a small apartment in North Bay, where we struggled to make ends meet. When I graduated, I left home and moved back to Toronto where I worked myself through university and then law school with my father contributing not a dime.”
“Oh Cris, that must have been so hard on you and your family.”
“Well, you know how my mother must have felt.”
“Yes, but at least I didn’t lose everything, thanks to you.” She gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. “And then after law school?”
“After I passed the bar, I bounced around a few firms, trying out family law, but getting more and more jaded at the things I saw going on, despite the law. Men would sometimes get the raw end of the deal, but more often women were left with nothing with kids to raise. It sickened me. I was constantly reminded of my mother and what she’d gone through to care for us.”
“Wow,” Emma said.
“Everything changed for me when my father died. That’s when I discovered just how much money he’d taken from us. For some reason he left it all to me, his only son, despite having a live-in girlfriend at the time. The girlfriend fought me tooth and nail for the fortune, but lost. I was at least able to represent myself. The main thing that helped my side was that she had been twenty-years old to my father’s seventy-five, and had only moved in a month before he died. It didn’t take long for the judge to throw her case out of court.”
Emma propped her chin on her hand while she listened.
“My father’s fortune meant that I could open my own practice. First though, I made sure my mother and Kristi were well taken care of. Mom wouldn’t take any of her ex-husband’s money, but she allows me to help with her monthly expenses, especially once I told her the money comes from my own practice.” Crispin grinned at Emma. “I know it isn’t totally the truth, but since my practice is usually in the red, I have to tell her something. I don’t want her suffering any longer.”
Emma kissed Crispin on the cheek. “You
’re a good son.”
He laughed. “Well, I don’t know about good, but I do what I can.”
“So, you decided to help women like your mom? That’s why you took my case?”
“I took your case because I wanted desperately to get to know you, Emma. I’ve never met anyone like you. I’ve never been married, had a few girlfriends, but you’re the first woman I’ve wanted to make a life with.”
She knew her face showed her feelings because he burst out laughing.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “We’ll take it slow. I just want to spend some time with you, that’s all.”
“I can handle that,” Emma said.
With a twinkle in his eye, Crispin set his glass down and held out a hand to her, the invitation obvious. She set her glass down and took his hand. Together they stepped into the house and shut the door.
Emma felt nothing but joy. She chose to live in the moment.
Who knew how much time anyone has? Crispin’s love made her feel special and desired. Maybe that was part of being adventurous.
It could be scary, but the rewards were worth the risk.
Good reviews are important to a novel’s success. If you enjoyed No Longer Needed, please leave a review wherever you purchased the book.
Sincerely,
About the Author:
Brenda Grate was born in Santa Rosa, California, and has spent most of her life in Western Canada. She began writing as a teenager, writing mostly poetry and began her first novel in her early twenties while she raised four children.
Supporting other writers is important to Brenda. During her time as the President of the Interior Author’s Group in Western Canada, she helped many other writers find their path toward publication.
"I’ve just concluded reading “Love Hurts” by Brenda Grate. Generally, I’m the type of reader that may bounce from book to book, perhaps reading as many as 3-4 books simultaneously. However, because the subject matter in this book was so intense, I set aside the others I was reading and read it exclusively. It took me longer than I normally take, as it has forced me to process some feelings and events which I am currently writing about, having to walk away from it from time to time in order to process what has transpired in my own life. When a book causes growth in a person, your time with it was not wasted and you come away being better than you were. I recommend this book to anyone wishing something of substance. It’s a very good read, and it grabs you from start to finish." ~Reviewer