Slightly stunned, she wiped her eyes, then turned, startled, at the rich timbre of masculine laughter. Pushing her wet hair back, she saw Jonus standing several feet away, and figured she must have not seen him pull up, amidst the sounds of rolling thunder, her own laughter, and her playful splashing. Face burning with embarrassment, she stood slowly, thinking she must look like the biggest fool on the face of the earth. All her clothes were completely soaked, and muddy water had splashed up and onto her hair and face. Looking down, she began going through the motions of smoothing her clothes, knowing all the while how feeble the effort must have looked to him.
His laughter died, and his eyes smoldered as they drank in the sight of her wet clothing molding and clinging to her curvaceous body.
Just as suddenly as the downpour had begun, it tapered off to a slow drizzle, the rumbles of thunder receding as the darkest clouds moved past, slowing rolling in the direction of town.
The sudden, relative silence was almost deafening. Unable to look at him, she stammered, “Well, I must look pretty silly to you, huh?” then began the fifteen-mile walk (or so it seemed) back to the front porch.
He simply stood in the dwindling rain watching her, steam coming off his well-defined body in small wisps.
Finally negotiating the front steps, she stepped onto the porch, then turned to look at him. She took in the sight of his shirt clinging to his muscular torso, and from the looks of his chiseled features, there was very little or no fat on him. But that wasn’t what made her breath catch in her throat. What made her pulse quicken was the way he was looking at her. He didn’t speak, he just stood there, his gaze never wavering from her face.
Blinking the rain from his eyes, he suddenly found himself walking towards her, as if possessed. A moment later he was on the porch, looking down into her wide, seemingly timid eyes. Lord help me, I want her… he thought.
“Jonus, what..?”
“Why would I think you’re silly?” he interrupted, then reached out and gently moved strands of wet hair from her face. “You know something? You’re a breath of fresh air in my dark world, nothing you could ever do would make me think you’re silly. Nothing.” he murmured as he tenderly caressed the heated, silky flesh of her cheek with his hand.
She felt her heart dance with excitement as both his hands cupped her face gently, lovingly, yet firmly. Closing her eyes, she felt movement from him and sensed his mouth descending on hers, and whimpered as both his lips engulfed and slid slowly across first her upper lip, then the lower. She felt a pleasant tingling and heat rising in her stomach that began to spread like wildfire, especially in her lower body, and although the sensations were entirely new to her, instinctively she knew what they were, and what they meant. Hungry for more, she suddenly grabbed the back of his head and pulled his face against hers as tightly as she could. Inexperienced in such matters, she began duplicating what he had been doing up till that point, by engulfing one of his lips at a time, with both of hers, and sliding them slowly, yet passionately, across.
Oh my God, what am I doing? She’s still just a…..just a….. he thought in a sudden panic.
Suddenly, she felt both his hands grasp hers firmly and yank them away from the back of his head, and she nearly stumbled as he broke the kiss almost forcefully. Opening her eyes in bewilderment, she saw a look of utter horror on his face, and was suddenly more confused than she had ever been in her young life.
“I…I can’t…” he mumbled, then looked away.
“What’s wrong?” she croaked, surprised at the husky tone of her own voice. “I want to. Why are you acting like this?
Without another word or so much as a backward glance, he turned and trudged back to his truck. Getting in, he started the engine, then began backing out of the long driveway.
She watched until the vehicle disappeared from sight in the drizzle, then plopped down on the porch swing, feeling confused and miserable. She simply couldn’t understand what she was doing wrong, what she had done wrong. Since coming to live there, she had done everything she could think of to not only please him, but to make herself as attractive as possible for him. Mere moments earlier, she had been thinking that it had finally paid off, then…..
With a weary, frustrated sigh, she stood and picked up her books. She would go inside, shower and change, then prepare dinner for the family. Maybe I’ll have a talk with Aisha about him… she thought, at the same time certain sure she would never figure him out.
*************************************************
Jonus slumped against the barn door, feeling more miserable than he had felt since Connell’s drinking binge after Jenny had passed away. For the past three months he had done everything to keep his growing attraction for Zamora at bay. Even when he had taken her to the fair he had kept his distance. But today, seeing her dancing and laughing in the rain that way, he knew instantly he had never witnessed anything as beautiful, as simple, as wild and untamed, yet pure, as her spirit. It had almost been his undoing.
He had been watching her closely, yet respectfully, ever since she had moved here, and one thing that struck him consistently was how much pleasure she took in simple things other people, especially lovely young women, would think nothing about, perhaps even sneer at. Like today, with her dancing in the rain. Or wading in the creek with Abby and Shawn. Or having a cup of hot chocolate on the porch swing every morning, while watching the sunrise. She seemed to savor every moment, every activity, no matter how simple, as if it were a fine wine, or the finest filet mignon money could buy. As if it were the last thing she would enjoy. She seemed to have a Zest for life unlike anyone he had ever known, and he found himself increasingly consumed and enthralled by her. Raking his fingers through his hair, he thought miserably, I can’t be with her, I’m bad luck. I was…marked at birth, and she would only wind up getting hurt.
Louie whimpering got his attention, and he looking down to see the dog at his feet, looking up at him, tail wagging. Chuckling, he said, “So, what should I do, huh boy?”
The little dog sniffed his work boot, sneezed, then trotted off, presumably to find Thelma.
Sadly shaking his head, he watched the dog retreat back inside the barn. “Even the dog knows I’m not worth it.” he mumbled, then kicked a clump of wet hay at his feet. Pushing the images of Zamora’s dancing to the back of his mind, he trudged through the muddy driveway to the house, wanting a shower, dry clothes, and a few beers.
***************Later that evening*****************
Zamora flopped on her bed, listening to Joss Stone playing on her laptop, as she looked at the cover of the women’s magazine she had purchased the previous day, while in town with her sister, niece, and nephew. One article she found interesting was “How To Get Your Man and Keep Him, in 7 Easy Steps“ “Hmmph!” she snorted derisively as she idly flipped through the pages. “I don’t think I could get and keep him in a thousand easy steps.” she mumbled sourly. She had tried everything she could think of, including tips from another book she had bought weeks earlier, one on flirting tips. On paper, they seemed easy enough to do, but when it came to putting them into practice with Jonus, she had ended up embarrassing herself, and he seemed to have not noticed at all.
“What are you reading now?”
Distracted, she looked up to see her sister leaning in the doorway. Patting a spot on the edge of the bed, she replied, “Hey sis, what’s up? Come on in and sit.”
Stepping into the room and closing the door, Aisha walked to the bed and sat down slowly, clutching her bulging belly with one hand. “Whatcha’ doin’? she asked.
Choosing her words carefully, she looked at her sister. “Well, I was just hoping to find a way…..” she trailed off suddenly, remembering a conversation that had taken place a couple of weeks earlier. Consumed with thoughts of Jonus, Jonus, Jonus, she had been reading magazine articles about lovers, and sex, and though she still knew next to nothing about it, she had been intrigued with the concept of birth control, and h
ad asked Aisha about it, and how she could get a prescription herself. At first it had looked as if she would pass out, but she merely gave her some sort of vague, “don’t rush into anything” speech. Only later had she come back and promised to help get her a doctors appointment.
“Uhmm, you were saying…?”
“Oh, right. Well, I was hoping to find a way to get Jonus interested. I just don’t know what to do. Maybe I should get another make over. Plus, my hair has grown out straight again, most of the girls at school look so glamorous compared to me.”
With a small, sad smile, she reached out and caressed her cheek lightly with the back of one hand “Look, I’m not crazy about you rushing into anything with anyone, but as I’ve said, you’re an adult, and it’s your choice and right to do as you please. Just..take things slowly. All this is new to you, and sometimes you may get mixed signals. Trust me, I know. It was hard for me to adjust when I first left….that place. The best advice I can give you is to just be yourself, and don’t try to change who you are, or the way you present yourself for the outside world to see, unless you’re doing it for you, and no one else. If someone cares about you, appearances will mean very little, and they’ll love you and accept you for who you are inside, you understand what I’m trying to say? And let him do some of the chasing for awhile. Never let a man think you’re available all the time, or worse yet, desperate. A lot of men, no matter how good they may be, will find the temptation too much to resist after awhile.”
Rolling over on her stomach, she rested her face on her folded hands. “Do you think he doesn’t want me because we‘re not the same race?” she asked, remembering the many sermons her father had given over the years. “Father always said we were the chosen ones, and that if we ever mixed races it would be an abomination, but I never believed that was true. Why would God only love and choose us as his favorites?”
Smiling down at her younger sister, she knew she had to be overwhelmed by the outside world, and the conflicting upbringing and beliefs their father had forced upon them. “Sweetie, I can tell you with absolute certainty that Jonus is not that kind of man. He’s an honest, good, decent man, and he would never do anything to disrespect you. Matter of fact, I would put him right up there alongside my Connell, that‘s how highly I think of him. But, like I said, just slow down a bit. Besides, has the thought ever occurred to you that he‘s simply protective of you? He knows you‘ve led a sheltered life until now, and may not want to see you get hurt.”
Hopping up on her knees, she crossed her arms, her pretty face frowning petulantly. “Well, I want him! I’m old enough to know what I want! I read books, I know all about sex….” she trailed off, the stunned look on her sister’s face making her reconsider what she had been about to say. “Well, technically, I know all about it. Well, maybe not about ALL of it. I mean, I haven’t done anything yet, but I…you know…wonder about it sometimes. I love him.”
“You what?”
“Well, it finally hit me today, when he kissed me.”
“He kissed you?”
Something in her sister’s expression made her pulse quicken, and she suddenly felt the need to defend him. “Look, it wasn’t what you think. It was just for a second, and he was the one who ran away from me, so don’t be mad at him! Besides, you said I was an adult, anyway, remember!” she finished with a timid, yet defiant look on her face.
Admiring the girl’s growing spirit, which reminded her of herself, she fought the urge to chuckle, and simply rolled her eyes instead. “Ok, first, you are NOT behaving like an adult right now, so stop that pouting! Second, I’ll advise you once more to just slow down. The real world is still very much new to you, but already you’re talking about being in love with the man. How do you know it’s love?”
Without hesitation, she answered, “I know Jonus is the man for me.” Touching her chest with both hands, she continued. “I can feel it deep in my soul. Listen, momma raised me more than father ever could. She taught me things in private, and her words always touched me and stayed with me, while his words I just paid lip service to, simply to keep from getting into trouble. She used to tell me all the time that God loves us even before our creation, so why is it people would need so much time to see if they are in love? I mean, if God loves us before ever seeing us born into this world, why is it not possible we can love someone at first sight?”
Both humbled and silenced by the sincerity of her sister’s reply, Aisha simply looked away, unable to answer at the moment.
“Aisha, I love him, please believe me. I know I’m not as smart and sophisticated as you are, but I do know what I feel.”
Slowly rising to her feet, she leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Goodnight, sweetie. We’ll discuss this more tomorrow. Listen….about that appointment, I’m going to see if I can get you one tomorrow, Ok?” she finished, a thoughtful look on her face.
“Ok, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Well, see you bright and early, sleep tight.” she answered, then left, closing the door behind her quietly.
“Sleep tight? Fat chance of that, thanks to you, my beautiful, beautiful man.“ she mumbled as she flopped back onto the pillows and gazed at the ceiling fan, a faraway and dreamy look in her eyes. Shivering with delight, she grabbed a pillow and hugged it tightly to her bosom with both arms, then muttered, “You don’t have to be protective of my heart, my love, because I give it to you, freely.”
*************************************************
Aisha had been pacing the bedroom floor for the last hour, in between bathroom breaks, of course.
Connell lounged on the bed, and had been alternately watching both her and reruns of “The Simpsons“, with considerable amusement. During a commercial break, he looked at her and said, “Hon, Zamora has a good head on her shoulders, and I think you should respect her feelings. Besides, have you seen the way Jonus is around her? I mean, he tries to act like she isn’t affecting him, but I can tell he cares about her, very much. You‘re worrying yourself to death over nothing. Give it a rest, and let things just run their course.” Reaching for the bedside remote, he clicked the television off. Leaning back against the headboard, he scratched his washboard abs absently.
Turning to him, she gave him her sweetest smile, one that usually melted him. “Yeah, well, could you have a talk with him anyway? Just something subtle? Like…I don’t know, to just be careful of her feelings? She seems so vulnerable. She IS vulnerable.” she said as she crawled into bed and laid beside him, almost purring.
“But hon, listen, they‘re both….”
“Pleeeeze, will you?“ Running a hand up one of his powerful thighs lightly, she had to force herself not to laugh as she saw his resolve beginning to crumble.
Connell groaned, already knowing he would lose this argument, like so many others. Well, at least she’s not asking me by way of the ax. Which wouldn’t surprise me, as protective as she is. Jonus is lucky she thinks so much of him, otherwise he would be having to look over his shoulder twenty-four seven… he thought.
“Will you…?” she breathed in his ear as her hand reached the front of his boxers and began kneading.
In an unsteady voice he breathed, “Alright, alright, I’ll speak to him. But after that, I want you to stay out of it.” he finished, giving her the sternest look he could muster under the circumstances. “Honey, I mean it! She IS an adult, and you will treat her like one, Ok?”
Smiling contentedly, she snuggled up against him and laid her head on his chest. She giggled as he gathered her up in his arms and said, “Ohhhh no, you don’t get off that easily! Now, where were we…?”
*************************************************
Jonus’s chest heaved as he swung another bail of hay down from the hayloft, and he stopped for a moment to wipe perspiration from his face. Frustration was stamped clearly on his handsome face, the result of a sleepless night. Every time his eyes had drifted shut from exhaustion, he would see Zamora dancing
in the rain, a smile of sweet innocence and wonder on her lovely face. Completely absorbed in his thoughts, he never heard Connell calling to him, until the man was literally right behind him.
“Earth to Jonus, come in, please!”
He spun around, chest heaving, and mumbled in embarrassment, “Oh, morning, Connell.”
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