So I grab a book out of the box and go take the tiny chair next to him. “Do you like books about dogs, Carter?”
* * *
He nods and runs his hand over the cover that has a bloodhound puppy on it. “I like dogs,” he says.
“I happen to have me an old dog that looks like this guy on the cover,” I tell him then decide to add, “Have you been sick recently?”
He looks up at me with wide eyes. “Yes. How did you know? I threw up like crazy the other day.”
“I had a virus too the other day.” I run my hand over his little head. “It was awful. I can see it really took a lot out of you.”
He nods. “It did. Me and my little sister both had it. My Aunt Mercy took her to the hospital late at night then when we came home I got sick too. It was terrible. Aunt Mercy got sick the next day. It was a terrible way to start the week.”
And I have it all now. The kids are her niece and nephew. Now, why would she feel she had to hide that?
* * *
So I dig deeper. “I see. That does sound terrible. But why did your aunt take you instead of your mommy or your daddy?”
He looks down again and his arms go back to cross his little chest as he whispers, “They’re dead.”
My heart stops and I find the words coming out of my mouth even though I should shut the hell up. “Dead? They’re dead?”
Suddenly Miss Abigail is touching my shoulder. I turn to look at her and she motions for me to follow her. I get up and go to a corner of the room where she whispers, “That’s Carter. His parents died in a car wreck two years ago along with their mother’s parents. Their aunt took them over as her own. We don’t like to talk about it because it still upsets him. You understand, don’t you?”
I nod. “Sorry, yes. I won’t ask him anything else like that. How is his aunt handling all that? It has to be rough on her. Does she have anyone to help her?”
Miss Abigail shakes her head and looks sad. “No, she has no help and won’t allow any. She’s taken them all on her own and refuses to really talk to any of us. I have no idea about her personal life. But as far as the kids talk, they spend their time alone with her. No mention of friends or boyfriends or anything like that.”
I feel as if I’ve been punched in the stomach. My heart aches for Mercy and I’ve been a fucking asshole all this time.
But now, more than ever, I know I have to get her to let me into her real life. She really needs me!
Going back to the kids, I take the book Carter has and ask, “Would you like me to read this one, Carter?”
He nods and says, “Please.”
Such a nice kid!
* * *
So I sit down in a chair that Miss Abigail has pulled out from behind her desk so I don’t have to sit with my knees up around my ears in one of those tiny chairs and I hold out my hand to Carter. “Carter, would you like to sit on my lap and help me read this book to your friends?”
He nods and smiles and climbs right up on my lap and leans his back against me and I think I might just cry. A lump in my throat has me swallowing it down and I clear my throat to completely get rid of it then I start reading the story and wonder how I can get Mercy to let me in.
Mercy
The whole day has gone by without a word from Jude. I’m not sure what to make of it. And I have to admit I’ve not only missed the sound of his voice, I’ve missed seeing him too.
The man has managed to grow on me very quickly. As I went to check out the empty space where his training facility will be, I found myself thinking about running into him around the spa. And maybe little secret sessions in my office and his.
It had my mind occupied all day long as I thought about us taking lunch together every day except Thursdays when I eat with the kids at their daycare. And I did think about letting him do some personal training on me. It had my pulse going faster with just the thought of it.
Since I’m on my way to pick the kids up, I think I should give him a call before I have them with me. So I make the call and find it goes straight to voicemail. Just like it has the other five times I’ve called him today.
Man, I can’t believe I’ve turned into one of those women!
I’m sure he’s just very busy today with something. Or someone.
Please don’t let him be with another woman!
I know I’ve been holding him back with a ten-foot pole. But the fact is I wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for the kids. I’d be all over that man if I didn’t have them to consider.
My phone rings and I jump as I see it’s him. “Hi!” I answer all fast and breathless. “I missed you today.”
Did that really just come out of my mouth?
“Good,” he says. “I’ve really missed you too. Wanna grab a bite to eat with me?”
“Damn it,” I say. “I can’t.”
“Oh?” he asks. “Well, that’s too bad. I guess I won’t see you until tomorrow then. I’m about to leave the place I’ve spent the day. I was hoping to take you to dinner but if you can’t then you can’t.”
“Wow, you took that awfully well, Jude.” I’m kind of surprised he isn’t asking me why I can’t go to dinner with him the way he usually does. “So where did you spend your day?”
“Just doing some community PR work for the company. You know how people love to hate oil companies. So from time to time we do things to reach out to the community to let them put a face to the company.” I hear a woman’s voice call out to him. “Honey, can I call you later?”
“Sure,” I say as he ends the call and I find myself feeling kind of lonely and sad. I do wish I could go out to dinner with him.
I wore this nice bra and panty set in hopes of him being at the spa today and I’ve been itching to feel his hands run all over my body like crazy. And now it seems he decided to spend the day with some other people, and at least one woman.
If I could let him in, I would. Why does this have to be so damn hard?
* * *
The daycare comes up on the right and I turn into the parking lot and get out of the suburban to go inside and get the kids. A melancholy feeling flows through me and I think I need to have a heart to heart with Jude later tonight.
Maybe I could let him in on the fact I’m getting pretty excited about seeing him at work every day. Maybe that will keep him interested in me. A fear is creeping in that if I keep being too distant he’ll move on and forget about me.
And I have to be honest with myself and say that thinking of never being in his arms again or feeling his lips on mine again is a thing I would miss more than I can even imagine.
As I go into Mrs. Jensen’s room to get Mia, I find her sitting in a corner of the little room designated for the two-year-olds, looking at a book. “Hey, Mia.”
She looks up and jumps off the chair, tossing the book on the floor, holding her arms out as she hollers, “I missed you, Aunt Mercy!”
Grabbing her up, I hug her tight. “I missed you too, Mia!” I give her chubby cheek a kiss then carry her over to gather her things into her backpack. “And how was school today?”
She giggles as she runs her hand along my ponytail. “It was pretty great. We got new books.”
“How nice,” I say.
The teacher’s chair turns around and I see it’s not Mrs. Jensen in it. “Hello,” the older woman says. “I’m Miss Daphne. The teacher got sick earlier and I came in to sub for her.”
“Is it that awful virus?” I ask. “Did it get her too?”
“I think so. They told me she hauled booty out of here. When I came in a couple of the other teachers were spraying disinfectant everywhere. I feel relatively safe.” She laughs and spins around in the chair like some kid would. “It was nice to be here today. I’m getting up there in age and my kids don’t come around much. I liked being around the kids today.”
“That’s nice. I’m glad you enjoyed your time with them instead of looking at it like a chore.” I gather up the filled backpack and head out to get Carter. �
��Bye. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you tomorrow. I had that virus the other day. It wipes you out.”
She waves at us as we leave the room. “Bye, Mia.”
* * *
Mia waves back as she looks over my shoulder then she says, “I like that lady. She’s very nice.”
“That’s good. I’m glad you liked her,” I say.
Then she wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me tight. “I really wuv you, Aunt Mercy.”
With a laugh, I hug her back and say, “I really wuv you too, Mia.”
Turning into Carter’s classroom, I see that it’s empty. I get his backpack and see a note on the desk saying they’re in the reading room so I head out with his things and go down the hallway.
“Do you know if Carter’s teacher got sick today too, Mia?” I ask as I’ve never had to go find any of the kids before.
“Nope. Some man brought the books and stayed all day. He’s very tall and I think he’s cute,” she says then giggles like crazy. “So the big kids went to the reading room to listen to him read. I heard one story when he came and read to us at nap time.”
“How nice,” I say as I turn into the door to the reading room. “Carter, I’m.”
When I see Carter and see him sitting on a man’s lap, I freeze. “Hi,” the man says.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I shriek.
Miss Abigail comes quickly toward me. “Miss Noland! Language!”
Mia turns her head and points at the man, I have already recognized. “That’s Mr. Hurts,” she says.
I correct her, “Mr. Hurst, baby. Carter, come on.”
My eyes stay glued on Jude’s as he smiles at me and Carter climbs off his lap. “You must be Carter’s aunt. He’s told me so much about you,” he says.
“How could you?” I ask as tears fill me eyes. “How could you do this?”
Carter comes to me and takes my hand. “What’s wrong with you?” Carter asks me.
I can’t even talk I feel so side-swiped by Jude. I just tug at Carter to come with me as I have to use everything in me to hold back the tears and rage I’m feeling.
Jude
I don’t know how I thought that would go, but I didn’t ever picture it going the way it went!
I jump up and hurry after Mercy as she hauls ass out of the building. Not saying a word to her, I stay just behind her as she takes the kids to her car. Then I step up as she unlocks the doors and offer my help. “Let me help you get them into their car seats.”
Mercy spins around and I can see the tears rolling down her red cheeks. “Don’t!”
“What’s wrong with you, Aunt Mercy?” Carter asks.
“Nothing, just climb into your seat, Carter,” she says with tear-filled words. “Get away from us, Jude.”
I can’t just get away from her, but I do back up and let her get the kids put in their seats, remaining quiet as I have no idea what I should say. This is not going well at all!
After she gets Carter in, she slams his door and takes the little girl to the other side. I follow and wait quietly. When she’s done she slams that door too and reaches for her door.
I reach out and take her by the arm. “Mercy, stop.”
Her body is shaking as she turns back to look at me with eyes filled with anger. “You get your fucking hand off of me right now.”
“Mercy, we have to talk,” I tell her.
“You need to get the fuck away from me. We’re done! I’m going to tell the Cofield’s that you’re some kind of a fucking stalker and to forget about doing any kind of business with you. Now leave me alone, forever, Jude Hurst.”
I have to let her go as I think she’s on the verge of having a stroke and there are also people looking at us now with their mouths hanging open. Taking a step back, I let her go and let her drive away then go get into my brother’s car and follow her at a safe distance.
I know this is just more stalking on my part but I can’t let her shut me out. Not now that I know why she’s been so closed off this whole time. The woman really does need me.
But I do stay back so she doesn’t figure me out. I’m not about to approach her right now. I just want to know her address so I can approach her later tonight. Much later when she’s had time to calm down.
* * *
After fifteen minutes, I see her pull into a driveway. The home is brick and in a nice neighborhood. A garage door opens on a four car garage and she drives in then closes it behind her as I stop a little ways down the street.
The garage is attached to the house so I know I won’t be seeing her again. So I make a note of the address and leave the area. I feel like a huge asshole and can’t really figure out how to fix this damage.
My father and mother keep coming to mind so I head home to talk to them about what it is I’ve done and how bad it really is. I didn’t mean to hurt her and it’s clear that I’ve done just that.
I call Mercy to see if she’ll talk to me at all and nearly faint when she answers the phone, “Jude.”
“Mercy,” I say.
“The thing you have done is unforgivable. I meant it when I told you I never want to see you again. I’m blocking your number.” Then she ends the call.
My body is shaking with fear. She can’t really mean it. So I call back and it tells me she has blocked my number.
I can’t believe she can cut me out this quickly!
Pulling up to our house, I see Dad out on his little Gator, riding around with his Longhorns. I stop and get out of the car and wave him down. Then climb over the fence when he heads my way.
“Dad, I think I’ve really fucked up.”
“Aw, come on,” he says as I get into the vehicle with him. “What could you have done so bad, son?”
“Dad, I thought Mercy was hiding something from me. I followed her this morning.”
“You did what?” he asks as he stops and looks at me.
“Not intentionally. I saw her at a stop light and I followed her. I found out she was dropping a couple of little kids off at daycare. Then I called the daycare.”
Dad stops me again as he holds up his hand. “You called the daycare? Son, why would you do that?”
Putting my head in my hands, I press my fingertips into my skull and whine, “I don’t know, Dad! But it gets worse.”
“What else did you do?” he asks, sounding very worried.
* * *
“I bought some children’s books and donated them to the daycare then stayed there all day reading to the kids. And getting to know her nephew, Carter.” I raise my head and look at my father. “Dad, he’s such a sweet kid. And he told me his parents had died in a car accident along with his grandparents, Mercy’s parents. She’s taken them on as her own and she doesn’t tell anyone about any of it. Only the daycare workers know the story.”
“Oh, son,” Dad says as he shakes his head. “How did Mercy take it when you told her what you had found out?”
“I didn’t get to tell her that. I guess I should’ve handled it like that. I suppose I should’ve left the daycare after I found that out and went to her and confessed everything but I didn’t do that, Dad.”
“What did you do?” he asks me as he puts his hand on my shoulder.
“She came to the daycare and I was still there. I had her nephew on my lap and was reading him a book. I just smiled at her as I watched her face fall and her spirit right along with it.” I am as close to crying as I have ever been. I look at my father and all I see is that I may have fucked up too bad to get her back.
“My, Lord, boy,” he says then starts heading toward the house. “You need professional help with this one. Your momma may be the only person who can help you. But I wouldn’t hold out much hope. You really have gone kind of crazy, stalker man on the poor girl.”
* * *
Dad’s words make me feel even worse. I know I’ve overstepped my bounds this time. I’ve really messed up.
“What if I told you that I really, really love her, Dad?” I look at
him to see what his reaction is and see a frown cover his face.
“Boy, I’m afraid me and your momma always gave you kids what you wanted the moment you asked for it and it might have spoiled you kids a little. You don’t know how to wait for things. And people take time and patience. I’m not saying that you don’t love this girl, but you needed to wait to let her catch up to you with that.”
“I know,” I moan as we pull into the garage. “I wish I had realized that before I went and pulled such a dumbass stunt. But now I know.”
Dragging my ass into the house, I pray that Mom has some idea of what I can do to fix things.
Mercy
I’m throwing things around as I try to make dinner for the kids but find myself so fucking mad at myself for letting anyone into my life at all. Mia goes and picks up a small pan I threw on the floor and brings it back to me. “Oops! You dropped this.” She comes back and hands it to me and I stop.
“Thank you,” I tell her then put it on the counter and go to the fridge and pull out a bottle of wine that’s been in there since I came to live here. I have no idea if wine has an expiration date, but I have to calm myself down so fuck it!
My hands are shaking as I take the corkscrew out of the drawer as the kids climb to their places at the dinner table and watch me like I’m some kind of a television show.
I stop what I’m doing and walk to the living room and turn the television on. “You guys come watch this instead of me, okay?”
They trot into the living room and I see Carter has a book in his hand. He tosses it on the sofa and I see a puppy on the cover. He sees me looking at the book then says, “Mr. Hurts gave me that book ‘cause I like dogs and he has one like that. He told me that one day he’d like me to come see his puppy.”
“Hurst,” I correct him. “His name is Mr. Hurst. And we are never going to go see his stupid dog.” I walk away to get my damn wine I need more than any crack head has ever needed their fix.
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