He stepped closer to her. “Roanna, from the moment I read this account, I knew it meant something. Do you think I would drag you down to the dungeon otherwise? Now this Dawsonian peacock thinks he’ll marry you.” He ground his teeth and shook his head. “I’m not letting that happen without assuring myself you’ll be well cared for.”
Roanna held her breath. Did the prospect of her marriage upset him as it did her? Heat erupted inside her, and with it the fluttering of her heart. “What will you do?”
“I don’t know, but don’t make any decisions yet.” He grasped her hands and pulled her all the closer. Her shoulders brushed his chest, and she became lightheaded from holding her breath. “Please don’t make any decisions until you speak to me again.”
She stared into his eyes, unable to look away yet unable to answer him.
The door to the dungeon squealed on its hinges. The guard was coming in.
Roanna stepped away as though she’d been caught stealing from the cookie platter again. Ben stepped in front of her and exited the office, ever confident. Roanna followed him, keeping her face averted lest even the guard witness her flaming cheeks.
“We’re done now,” Ben said. “Thank you.”
But the guard didn’t return the smile. “My lady. Your parents are looking for you.” His frown deepened. “I hope my job will not be in jeopardy.”
Mother and Father had noticed her missing? Had they noticed Ben missing as well?
But Ben shoved the guard against the wall. “You dare speak so to the Princess of Chester’s Wake?”
The guard could crush Ben, but he had been trained well. “No, Your Highness. I only meant the king and queen have been searching for her.”
Ben narrowed his eyes but released the guard. “You will speak of this to no one, and in return we will speak of it to no one.”
The guard nodded.
Ben took Roanna’s hand, pulled her along the corridor, and toward the staircase.
Roanna threw a look behind her.
The guard watched them go, shaking his head.
“Why did you do that?” she hissed. Again, she considered the Loxians’ love for peace. Ben’s actions were quite out of character.
“What do you think will happen if your parents find us here alone when you’ve just been proposed to by another man? You’re practically engaged. Our time together is short.”
“Why do you care?” It was an unfair question, and she shouldn’t have asked it. Really, she was only begging for trouble.
He stopped short, his gaze spitting fire. “You really need to ask me that? Why I care if you marry another man?”
Her throat constricted, and she swallowed hard but said nothing.
He growled and restarted his fast footsteps. “You should go out the way we came in. I’ll find another route.”
“Ben, no. There is no reason to sneak. You’re my closest friend.”
“Don’t you understand?” They were at the bottom of the stairwell now. His face was red and he gripped her hands. “They want to marry you off. Now. You and I cannot be together. We cannot be seen together like this anymore. Gone are our carefree days of childhood. Our friendship must end. Do you think Ambassador Dawson will react favorably to our close friendship now that he has gained your family’s permission for marriage?”
Not favorably, no.
“I am betrothed to whoever they choose for me, and now you are practically betrothed to them as well.” He let go of her hands, looked away, and shook his head. “Would you start a war just to remain friends with me?”
Friends? For some reason, in that moment, she had expected more.
She cleared her throat and in a tiny voice spoke. “No, I would not start a war.”
He nodded once, seeming relieved that she was finally thinking. “Good. Then you will go out the way we came, and I will find a different way. I will find you when I know more. It may take a bit of time.”
“What do we say when they ask us where we’ve been?”
“Say whatever you like. I have been nowhere but in the lower banks, sending my evening prayers.”
She nodded. Time to leave him with this strange puzzle piece to her life tucked behind his back.
“Good-bye, Roanna.” His voice broke, and tears sprung to his eyes. He turned back toward the dungeon without another word.
The tears slipped from her eyes, and she wiped at them furiously. Her hair hung around her shoulders, and she still wore Ben’s coat. How could she face Mother and Father like this? She must find Bette.
She hurried up the two flights of stairs, but instead of exiting through the door they’d come in, she considered the layout of the house. There was a back staircase somewhere used by servants. She must take that up to her room. Turning right, she maneuvered through the empty beige halls until she stumbled upon the other stairs. Hopefully, these would take her to the right place. As she started up, a maid appeared at the top.
Bette!
“My lady!” Bette said breathlessly. She raced down to meet her. “What are you doing down here?”
“You must help me, Bette. Where are Mother and Father?”
Bette’s worried eyes answered her question for her.
“Will you help me? I need to re-pin my hair before I meet them in my room.” She slipped out of the coat and laid it on the floor at her feet. “Can you also return this to Prince Benjamin? You cannot let anyone else see it. It must be you!”
Bette nodded and moved to fix Roanna’s hair. Roanna wiped her cheeks again, and a moment later Bette retrieved Ben’s coat.
“My lady, are you all right?” Bette bit her lip.
Again, confusion swirled through Roanna. “I’m fine, Bette. Thank you for helping me. You’re always my friend. I’m so grateful.”
Bette smiled, but the worry still shone through. “Come on, I’ll make sure you get to your room without bother.”
9
Roanna and Bette stood at the door to Roanna’s room. Mother and Father would want to know where she had been. They had obviously checked around the palace already, if even the dungeon guard had been notified. She couldn’t say she had gone out for air as Ben’s story kept him outside.
She had decided on using bits of the truth—a story about praying in the chapel then visiting the kitchen for a headache remedy. She did have a headache…now. Bette had promised to fill in the kitchen maid. Roanna hated to lie at all, but she didn’t see another way. Besides, Mother had been keeping something from her all her life.
“How do I look?”
“Disheveled, but that could be because of the headache.”
Roanna bit her lip. Were things really as serious as Ben seemed to think? She hadn’t given her answer to Ambassador Dawson, but with her parents’ permission, there was really very little else to say.
She took a deep breath and strolled into her room as if it were nothing out of the ordinary for Mother and Father to be waiting.
“Roanna!” Mother hurried to her side. “Where have you been?”
“I’m sorry to have kept you.” She kissed Mother’s cheek. “Bette told me you’ve been waiting. Ambassador Dawson proposed, as he said you know.” She hit them with a pointed look. Why hadn’t they told her? “I had much to think about, and I went to the chapel to pray. A headache developed, and I visited the kitchen to find medication.”
“I found her on the way back from the kitchen,” Bette chimed in.
Mother gave Bette a small smile and nod. “Thank you, Bette. You may go now. I can help Princess Roanna into her bed clothes.”
Bette curtsied and backed from the room.
“Are you feeling better now?” Mother led Roanna to where Father sat near the windows. Two chairs and a lounge were situated in a semi-circle.
“I feel some better but admittedly not much.”
Mother held tightly to Roanna’s hand. “You do not wish to marry Ambassador Dawson.” It was more a statement than a question.
Roanna’s throat tig
htened. “No, I do not. But do I have any choice?”
Silence.
All hope for her future wilted. “That is what I thought and likely what gave me the headache.”
Father stood and paced to the window. “Roanna, you have long known you must marry. This will secure peace between our kingdoms. Think of the lives saved.”
“I have thought of it Father, which is why I see no reason to fight it. Do you think I want Bette’s brother’s blood on my hands?” It was true. She wanted to cost no one their lives. After all, she would continue to live in luxury, while the kingdom’s inhabitants would struggle to make a living.
Father turned to her. He smiled sadly, but his eyes were clear. Relieved. While he didn’t wish sadness upon her, he still wanted her to say yes.
“The ambassador said he must await the approval of King Bartholomew.” Maybe the answer would be delayed.
Father nodded. “Yes. He sent word. We expect to conference him tomorrow.”
“Conference him?”
“Digitally, in the observatory.”
Ah. She had almost forgotten about Father’s ability to speak to the neighboring king at the touch of a button. Which also meant the answer wouldn’t be delayed.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“We have been hoping you would come around to caring for Ambassador Dawson on your own,” Mother said. “He expressed his interest the first day he arrived.”
Roanna stayed silent. How could she come to care for him? He was a stranger to her. A generation ahead of her.
“We should never have permitted you to spend so much time with Benjamin.” Mother shook her head and pulled her hand away. “At least not after you had come of age.”
Dear heavens, hopefully Mother wouldn’t start in on this subject. Ben’s words from not an hour ago were too fresh in Roanna’s mind. She didn’t wish to cry again so soon, nor with an audience.
“The Loxians will be leaving for home by tomorrow afternoon,” Father announced.
Roanna’s heart clenched. Ben had the file from the dungeon, and he’d be exploring the subject even at home. Perhaps it wouldn’t take him long to find answers, but he’d asked her not to give an answer to the proposal until she heard back from him. How could she keep that promise if King Bartholomew would be conferencing Father tomorrow?
“What happens next?” she asked.
“Assuming King Bartholomew gives his consent, we will prepare to travel to our border at Edge River, where we will sign the marriage agreement and the peace treaty with Dawson’s Edge.” Father clasped his hands. “We will have peace, at least.”
She nodded slowly. “But I will have a say.” She wanted to be sure she had time to prepare herself. To resign herself. “The marriage will happen in time.”
Mother and Father shared a glance.
Roanna held her breath.
“Ambassador Dawson is well into adulthood. He wishes for an heir.”
An heir? He was already planning a family with her?
Roanna stood and paced away. She might be sick. “I cannot stand the thought of marrying that man.”
“Roanna,” Mother warned. “He is a kind, decent, and handsome man.”
Roanna spun on her. “Mother! He repulses me. He cannot stop complimenting me long enough to know whether I prefer roses or daisies, blue or green, chicken or pork.”
“You think those things matter in a marriage?” Mother rolled her eyes. “They do not. And besides, he admires your heart and your brain. He was very interested in your compassion for the Rejected.”
Mother’s words were partly true, but Roanna still wasn’t convinced.
“Roanna,” Father sighed. “The marriage agreement is being pursued, and you will go along with it. Not because we are forcing it on you, but because such is the life we lead.”
In spite of her best efforts, tears pooled in her eyes. She glanced between Mother and Father. She knew their story; they had not been allowed to choose each other. Still, they had found happiness. And hadn’t she always known this was her fate? Her destiny was much harder to face than she had ever anticipated. Perhaps Mother was right. Perhaps it had been unwise to spend so much time with Benjamin over the years. Now every man she met would be compared to him. It would take many evening prayers to deal with seeing Ben and not being friends with him.
She swiped the tears from her cheeks and took a shuddering breath. “I do not pretend to like it, but I will do as you say.”
10
Father left the room, and Mother helped Roanna out of her dress. The silence between them left Roanna feeling alone. How often would she get to see her family if she moved to Dawson’s Edge? What would a life spent with Roland Dawson be like?
Mother folded Roanna’s black, silky evening gown and laid it over the foot of the bed as Roanna slipped into her nightgown. “Sit down and I’ll undo your hair.”
“No, I’ll do it. I’m going to stay up a bit more.”
Mother’s eyes narrowed a fraction, but she said nothing. If only she knew Roanna’s behaviors had nothing to do with sneaking out and everything to do with hiding the length of her locks.
The short, handwritten note from the file in the dungeon haunted her. Should she ask Mother about the man who had warned her about Roanna’s hair?
Maybe a different tactic. “Did you see that girl who came with the ambassador? Merry is her name.”
“The Baron’s daughter. I saw her, yes.”
“Her hair is beautiful. Could we hold off on a wedding until my hair can grow long?”
Mother’s eyes crinkled at the sides, and she tried to pull off a laugh. It didn’t come through. “Growing your hair that long would take at least two years.”
The longer the better.
“Besides, your hair looks lovely short. Even when you pin it up you do it so well.”
Roanna sighed. She didn’t have the strength to pursue the issue tonight. “Very well.”
A true smile spread across Mother’s face, and she hugged Roanna. “It will be a lovely wedding.”
“Have you been to Dawson’s Edge recently?” Roanna never visited that she could remember.
A cloud passed behind Mother’s eyes, and she shook her head. “Only once, for the crown prince’s wedding.”
“Ambassador Dawson became angry with me tonight. It was over the simplest thing.” Roanna sat on the edge of her bed. “I can only imagine what a life with him will be like.”
Worry showed in Mother’s face, but she only said, “Tell me what it was about.”
“He kept showering me with embarrassing compliments, so I attempted a real conversation by asking him what he thought of the advancements in our observatory. He grew agitated because he felt I was implying Chester’s Wake was superior to Dawson’s Edge. He brought up Prince Stefan and Isabella de Paul. The response was strange and uncomfortable.”
Mother took her hand. “I’m sorry. Yes, they are strange people. But you will adjust. Perhaps you will even shed a little light into their world.” Mother paused as if she wanted to say more. “Roanna, you must give up your friendship with Benjamin. It will no longer appear proper, no matter how innocent you keep it.”
Give up her friendship? How did one give up a mutual and deep friendship?
But Ben had said the same thing, and they had agreed. They would not start a war for each other. “Yes, Mother, I am aware.”
“Good.” Mother squeezed her hand and stood. “I will leave you to your rest. Should I send Bette back up to unpin your hair?”
“No, of course not. I’m perfectly capable of removing a few hairpins.”
“Very well. Good night.” Mother kissed the top of her head and left her sitting on the bed. When the door closed, Roanna moved to her vanity seat. Staring at her hair in the mirror, she removed the turtle hair clip and then the pins holding her hair in place. The tresses fell around her shoulders again.
Why should she keep it short? A warning so important that a man would shout it a
t a new mother and land in the dungeon over it. A warning that had so frightened Mother that she’d decreed Roanna must keep her hair short.
Truly, it was absurd. She grabbed the comb and ran it through her hair. Over and over and over. When Ambassador Dawson had whispered to her, a shiver had run through her. Then, when she’d messed with her hair before supper, the shiver had returned.
Now she felt nothing. Not even a tingle.
Roanna sighed and set the brush on the vanity. She had most likely caught a chill, and nothing more. The doctor from Dawson’s Edge was an old superstitious fool, and he had succeeded in scaring Mother into following his advice. But Father must know about the whole ordeal, or else how would the man end up in the dungeon? It was unlike him to allow Mother to go along with such foolishness.
She climbed in bed and pulled her white blankets up to her chin. Tomorrow the course of her entire life could be changed. She could only hope for the best.
As she fell into a restful breathing pattern a deep shiver raced through her. Roanna sat up in bed with a gasp. Her hand moved to her hair and she felt the silky strands. The shivers continued for long moments, and Roanna endured them alone for as long as she could stand.
Finally, she climbed from her bed. In light of what they’d found in the dungeon, this was something Ben must see.
11
Roanna crept from her room. The hallways in the family wing were empty and the guest rooms only a few halls away. It was late, but any one of the other guests’ doors might open, and she would be spotted. What would she say, standing there in her silky pajamas and dressing robe?
Down one hall, around a corner, past four doors, and around a second corner. The Loxians always stayed in the same suite of rooms. Roanna had never dared visit while they were occupied. Did she truly have the gumption to do it now? After all, appearances were everything. What if another guest saw her? Or a servant? They would get the wrong impression, and rumors would spread. Rumors were rarely able to be undone.
As she approached Ben’s door, noise came from behind it. Voices. Roanna glanced around. She was alone.
The Rejected Princess Page 4