“My lady, Queen Frieda has—”
Roanna jerked away from Ben as Bette’s voice stopped short. Dread filled her as she looked to the door. Bette wasn’t alone.
44
Bette stood in the doorway, her mouth hanging open. Queen Frieda and Gregory stood behind her.
Roanna wanted to run from the room. Bury her head. Hide. But Ben stood calmly. He looked to Queen Frieda. “Did you need something, Mother?” His voice was soft.
Queen Frieda took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. “You may leave us, dear,” she said to Bette.
Bette bowed quickly and bolted from the room. Queen Frieda and Gregory stepped into the room, and Queen Frieda closed the door.
“What are you doing in here, Benjamin? You would cause further harm to this kingdom?” Her words were spoken without anger. She sounded fatigued. Worn down.
Shame filled Roanna because for a single moment she had considered their relationship worth starting a war over. King Neville was already injured. Would she injure Gregory? Father?
She wanted to say something—anything. But what would she say? This was her room, and she hadn’t invited Ben into it, but she hadn’t sent him away either. She had welcomed him, relished his touch.
“I don’t have an excuse for you, Mother.” Ben stayed put, standing at her side. What was he thinking? He needed to get away from her, and somehow, she had to figure out how to make him stay away. Hadn’t she just determined that very thing in the auto from the air station?
Queen Frieda studied him a moment longer. Then her gaze trailed to Roanna. “I love you as my own daughter as I suspect you know.”
Roanna nodded. “Yes, Your Highness.”
“Good. Then I want you to answer me truthfully. Is this why you came?”
Heat poured through her. Did she come because she thought she would see Ben?
Again, her resolution to be a diplomat came to mind. She stood tall. “No. I came as a friend. As family. And with Gregory, as an ambassador of good will between our kingdoms in this time of need.”
Queen Frieda nodded. “Very well. Benjamin, you will stay away from her the rest of her visit. Do you understand me?”
“I’m a grown man, Mother.”
“You are acting like a child, which is something you tend to do when Roanna is involved.” He had finally pushed her to anger, but the Loxians were peaceful and her anger quickly faded. She looked between the two of them, then sighed. “This world is bigger than you are. You would both do well to remember that.”
Roanna felt exactly like a child in that moment.
Gregory had stayed silent during the exchange, but he finally spoke up. “Perhaps it would be best if Roanna and I shared a family suite.”
Now she needed a babysitter?
“No.” Ben shook his head and finally stepped away from her. “I’ll keep my distance. You have my word.”
Queen Frieda watched him a moment then gave a single nod. “Good. You should prepare to see your father.”
Ben glanced at Roanna then back to his mother. “Can we have a moment?”
Another flash of anger spread across Queen Frieda’s face. She nodded, but she didn’t leave or even turn away.
Ben stepped close to Roanna once again. He placed his hands on either side of her face, and leaned his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry, Roanna.”
Sorry.
Sorry their short try at a relationship was over. Sorry he had embarrassed her in front of their families. Sorry he hadn’t been able to save her from marrying Roland Dawson.
His voice told her he meant all of these things, and more.
Roanna pressed her eyes closed, the tears coming again. This was it. She would need to put Ben from her heart once and for all.
She didn’t speak, and a moment later he stepped away and strode from the room.
Gregory glanced her way, but she waved him off. She would be fine. He followed Ben from the room.
Queen Frieda closed the door, and she crossed the room and took Roanna’s hand. “There is nothing in this world that would have made me happier than Benjamin taking you as his wife. But that cannot happen, ever. I am sorry we allowed the friendship between you to grow so strong, but the time has come to put away childish things.”
Tears slid down Roanna’s face. It made her feel all the more ridiculous. Childish.
“Your own betrothed will be arriving soon from Dawson’s Edge. You would do well to remember that.”
Roanna managed a nod. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” It came out in a whisper.
Frieda’s face softened, and she wiped the tears from Roanna’s cheek. “I know you didn’t. Neither did Ben. It’s simply the way of life, and sometimes we make hard choices for the benefit of others.” She paused then went on. “When you’re up to it, I would love your company in my office. I’m putting together care packages for the families of the soldiers who were killed in the attack.”
Roanna’s pain shrank a little at the thought of those families. Their world was bigger than her relationship with Ben. That’s what Queen Frieda had said. “I will be down shortly.”
Queen Frieda smiled and nodded. “I will see you then.” She left Roanna standing alone.
As soon as the door closed, tears broke from Roanna’s eyes like a rushing river. She fell onto the bed, sobbing.
Bette re-entered and hurried forward. “Oh, Miss!” She laid down beside Roanna and hugged her tightly. “It will be all right, Miss. I’m here.”
Roanna cried harder and clung to Bette. “Oh, Bette, I’m such a fool.”
“Shh,” Bette soothed. “You aren’t a fool. Cry your tears, and we will get you fixed up.”
Roanna nodded, but her tears still flowed. This visit wasn’t shaping up at all how she had expected it.
45
Ben
Ben jogged down the stairs to the first floor then took a hard left and headed toward the state offices.
“Ben, wait.” Gregory’s shoes pounded down the stairs after him, but Ben didn’t slow. The last person he wanted to be lectured by was Roanna’s brother. He was a good man—a friend, even—and one day they would rule neighboring kingdoms. But he didn’t want love advice from him.
“Ben.” Gregory caught up with him, grabbed his arm, and spun him around. “Tell me what happened.”
Ben jerked his arm away. “I don’t want to talk about it, Gregory.” He hoped his tone and look conveyed how very much he didn’t want to talk about it.
Gregory’s gaze shot back its own fiery look. “I don’t care about your relationship with Roanna. I want to know what happened in the attack. I need to know how I can keep my own people safe.”
Ben drew back. An attack. Right here in Lox. Right. He rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know.” He turned back toward the state offices. “But you are welcome to come along and find out.”
They marched through the palace together until they came to the marble-floored state offices. Kingdom officials dashed from office to office. Messengers chimed. Secretaries pounded letters on their keyboards.
“Where is King Neville?”
A pang of guilt shot through him. He’d been willing to sentence Mother’s and Father’s life’s work to doom because he wanted Roanna for himself. It wasn’t very kingly of him.
“He’s in a secure location down south, being kept under medical care. I hope to see him tomorrow.”
Gregory nodded and followed Ben to Father’s eerily empty office, devoid of the rush going on outside. Ben stopped just inside the door and took a deep breath. Someday these offices would be his own. The weight of that realization felt like the world on his shoulders.
Once he’d composed himself, he stepped further inside. “I need to gather Father’s technologies.” He moved to the desk and grabbed the portable Messenger along with a few other items.
“Is he in contact with his aides?”
Ben stared, unsure what to say. Mother had been working round the clock, but
what was Father doing in the medical center? He hadn’t realized until now how little he knew. “I don’t know.” He shook his head. “But, again, we can find out.”
“Wait.” Gregory closed the office door then stepped closer to Ben. “There are a few things I want to tell you now, without prying ears.”
Ben narrowed his eyes. “Go on.”
“Roanna told me about the things she overheard from the Dawsons. Unfortunately, I have my own pieces of the puzzle to add.”
Ben had looked King Dawson in the eyes as he’d sworn an oath that he had nothing to do with the attack. He’d promised all his resources to help find the responsible party. No matter what Roanna had felt from them—and no matter what Gregory had learned—it would take a lot of convincing to make Ben believe otherwise.
“What are you talking about?”
“The Dawsons grow restless. Their relations across the ocean are fizzling out, and there are rebels within the kingdom who want to use that against the royals.”
“What about the prince’s wife? King Dawson’s eldest son married a princess from across the ocean.”
“His wife has asked for a divorce.”
Ben frowned and drew back. “How do you know this?”
“Merry Stern.”
Ben froze. “You’re in contact with Merry?”
Gregory didn’t flinch, and realization dawned. Gregory was the one she was seeing. The reason she wasn’t interested in any type of marriage proposal from him.
“The Sterns are in good graces with the king, but it doesn’t mean they’re loyal to him,” Gregory went on. “The Dawsons’ relationships across the globe are deteriorating, and they’re fighting to keep their kingdom alive. Their allies across the ocean have stopped sharing intelligence, and they’ve cut off export between kingdoms.”
Ben shook his head. “That doesn’t explain anything. How would attacking Lox after they’d signed a marriage agreement with us help their cause?”
“That’s where Roanna’s intelligence comes into play. They face a rebellion. They need new resources, bigger armies, and more power.”
Ben huffed and leaned against Father’s desk. He put down the Messenger and rubbed his forehead again. “King Dawson swore the attacks were not under his orders.”
“Then someone acting under his orders. Roland?”
The idea was an attractive one. Blame Roland Dawson, attack Dawson’s Edge, and keep Roanna for himself.
But as much as he hated the idea of Roland Dawson, he didn’t agree with Gregory’s ideas. “I still say it doesn’t make sense. They wouldn’t attack us if they need our aid. Instead, they would do exactly as they’ve done. Seek our alliances. We need to speak with my mother and father, and their aides. They’ll know what to do with this information.”
Gregory studied him a moment longer, then he nodded solemnly. “So be it.”
46
Roanna
Roanna allowed herself a single hour to revel in her embarrassment, shame, and disappointment. For years, she had lived with the knowledge that Ben’s friendship was all she would ever have. It had been well with her soul.
How had things changed so quickly?
She brushed through her hair, and the shivers started, but she was doing well at keeping them under control these days. Over the last week, she had been practicing. Projecting her mind outward, feeling for auras—thoughts. She’d learned that while she could sense the auras, she never heard other people’s thoughts. Except the Dawsons.
Her hair reached just past her shoulders now. It was growing much faster than she ever expected. Bette handed her a feathered, brass hair pin, and Roanna arranged it then gave herself a once over.
“I suppose I should go now.”
Bette nodded. “I will help you dress before supper tonight, Miss.”
Roanna smiled her thanks. She made her way to the empty hall and headed for Queen Frieda’s offices. As she reached the bottom of the stairs and turned right, an entourage stepped into the main foyer of the palace.
Roland Dawson stood in the midst of them, and their gazes met across the short distance.
Roanna drew on the years of training and pasted on a smile. “Queen Frieda told me you would be coming.”
One of the palace servants arrived to lead the rest of the entourage on their way. Roland and Roanna stood to the side in relative privacy.
Roland returned her smile. She expected a hug or at least a kiss on her hand. But he didn’t reach for her.
The first shiver hit like a wave. Her smile faltered, and she struggled for control. It passed, but a moment later another shiver assaulted her.
Roland watched her curiously. At last, he stepped toward her. “Are you all right, Princess?”
She swallowed her panic and nodded. “I’m not feeling very well. Will you excuse me?”
His eyebrows lowered, and he nodded once. “Will I see you at supper?”
“I expect it, yes.”
He nodded again, and she hurried back up the stairs and to her room. Right now, her strange hair was the least of her worries. She was stuck in the Loxian palace with the man who wanted to marry her and the man who couldn’t marry her. All the while, the Loxian king lay injured from an attack.
Still, her hair. The shivers. It always grew worse when Roland came around.
The Dawsonian doctor had warned of her hair, and whenever she was around the Dawsonian royalty her hair went berserk. There was no coincidence there.
Where was Bette? Probably off working, as would be fit. But Roanna couldn’t stand the thought of being alone.
She took a deep breath and composed herself. She could make it to Queen Frieda’s office without running into Roland again. Slipping back into the hallway, Roanna headed toward the servants’ elevator. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d used it, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.
Hurrying through the plain servants’ halls, she dodged as many strange looks as she could. But most of them stopped her. “Can I help you, Miss?” Some of the older servers knew her—she’d been around a long time. Others didn’t recognize her, and those were the ones who pushed harder. “You shouldn’t be in here, Miss.”
Roanna smiled at each of them. “I’m going to the queen’s office.” And she’d keep going.
She made a few wrong turns but finally slipped out of the servants’ hall and into the main palace corridors. A few of Queen Frieda’s aides gave her confused looks, but as with the servants, she gave them a smile and breezed past.
Queen Frieda glanced up from her work when Roanna entered. She was bent over a ledger, pen poised in one hand, Messenger in front of her. She used her empty hand to hold up a finger to Roanna—give her one moment.
Roanna perched on the edge of a chair as the person on the other end of the call gave details of the families affected by the attack. When the call finished, Roanna stood.
“How is King Neville?”
Queen Frieda managed a smile. “I haven’t seen him yet, but we plan to travel there tomorrow. You may join us, of course, if you would like.”
“I’ll consider it. Ambassador Dawson arrived a little while ago. I suppose I should base my decision on his plans.”
Frieda nodded again. “Not an unwise choice.” She nodded to her desk. “Now, if you’d like, we can work on lining up help for these people.”
Roanna hurried to the desk. “Yes, of course.” She’d done benevolence work with Mother plenty of times. She hoped to continue the work when she was married to Roland, though Santa Rio was much smaller than an entire kingdom.
She pushed aside the unpleasant thoughts and threw herself into the work. Together, they lined up food deliveries, child care services, and personal assistants to help with burial preparations. Queen Frieda spoke to several families via the Messenger. She always spoke in the most pleasant of voices, and she cried with anyone who needed to cry. Roanna watched in awe. Queen Frieda loved her people—a trait Ben had inherited from his parents. How had he asked Roan
na to allow him to give up that duty? He would have been miserable in the end, if he’d chosen her over the safety of his people.
They worked together for a few hours, but with the aides’ help they finished well before supper.
“What will you do now?” Frieda asked. “We’ve planted a new plant in the gardens. It blooms the largest, brightest zinnias you’ve ever seen.”
Flowers sounded nice. Roanna smiled her thanks. “That sounds lovely. I’ll make sure to take a peek.” She left the queen to finish up her work for the evening, and meandered through the halls on her way back to her room. As she walked, she passed the library. The lights were dim, which meant no one was inside.
She paused and looked in. The Loxian library was huge, much larger than their library in Chester’s Wake. The Loxians held many of the old histories. They believed knowledge was power, and knowing the past was key to being successful in the future.
Considering Queen Frieda’s love for her people and the Loxians’ constant desire for peace, perhaps they were right in their obsession with books.
Besides, this library was where Ben had found the memoir mentioning Dr. Presnell.
Roanna glanced up and down the empty hallway. The zinnias in the garden would wait until later. For now, Roanna wanted to browse the library.
47
Lights came to life as Roanna passed through the library door. Books lined the walls from floor to ceiling. Large books, small books, red, green, and blue books. So many.
Roanna bit her lip. She spent so little time in the library at home. She had no idea where to start. Ben had mentioned studying here. She glanced around as though Ben’s private spot would jump out at her.
Her gaze fell on a door in the back of the room, and she moved that way. A small plaque read Special Collections.
She wasn’t even sure what she was looking for, but if the memoirs had mentioned Roanna’s birth, then there was a good chance there were other books here that could help her solve the mystery of her hair and her connection to the Dawsons and their anomalies. The histories, perhaps.
She pushed inside the special collections room. It was much smaller than the main library, with a grouping of three chairs pushed together. Each chair had its own small table beside it, and a coffee table sat in the middle of the group. One chair was red, one navy, and the last was hunter green.
The Rejected Princess Page 17