Not only did Anderson wish he wasn’t sitting there alone, he wished Silver’s mom could be here to see their little girl’s first big dance recital. Silver had been taking ballet lessons for a few years, but the small school in Frost Peak didn’t often put on performances. No one there seemed to value the art of dancing that much anymore. It had been different when Silver’s mother was still alive, and ran the ballet school. She had poured her heart and soul into that enterprise. The new owners didn’t seem interested in much more than squeezing every bit of profit that they could out of the venture.
Anderson fidgeted, tearing little notches into the edges of his program as he turned his gaze to the stage, which was brilliantly illuminated by stage lights. He was nervous to watch his little girl dance. Every time he saw her twirling around, he felt like his heart might break from the beauty and the resemblance to his deceased wife. But he knew he had done the right thing by letting Silver come to this program. Every time he talked to her on the phone, her voice sounded full of life and excitement. Just as Sawyer had predicted, there hadn’t been any safety issues during the course of the program. Silver had been just fine, and had been in good hands. In fact, the one time Anderson had flown to Kodiak to have dinner with her, he was pretty sure he had never seen Silver looking happier.
Anderson’s lip twitched slightly as he remembered that day. He’d had come out to see Silver, but had accidentally caught Lexi Shaffer dancing. She had never introduced herself, but Anderson had known immediately it was her. He recognized her from pictures he had seen of her on the internet, and from videos he had seen on YouTube of her dancing. Her technique that day had been flawless, just as it had been in the videos he’d watched. But there had been an energy in the room that he hadn’t been able to feel from just watching the videos of her dancing. Seeing Lexi dance, live and in person, was like watching magic being made right in front of his eyes. She put her soul into the movement, and seemed to completely lose herself in the moment. The only other person Anderson had ever seen dance that way was late wife. Every now and then he caught glimpses of the same kind of energy in Silver when she danced, but Silver was young and hadn’t completely mastered being in the moment at all times while dancing. There was no rush, though, Anderson thought with a smile. He had no doubt his daughter would get to that point, eventually. Especially if she continued to study under Lexi, which seemed to be a pretty likely possibility. On her phone calls home, Silver had already started hinting that she wanted to continue to take classes at Lexi’s ballet school.
Anderson sighed. He knew that Silver would keep asking until she got her way. And, really, Anderson had no good reason to deny his daughter her request. Lexi was the best, and his daughter deserved to learn from the best. Seeing Lexi dance that day had confirmed it for him. He’d known as soon as he saw Lexi that she wasn’t trying to put on a show for anyone, and he’d told himself to turn around and leave to give her privacy. But he’d stood frozen to the spot, unable to move as he watched his daughter’s teacher spinning across the room. Lexi’s style was different from Anderson’s late wife’s, but it held the same sense of purpose and soul. He remembered biting his lip and blinking back tears while Lexi danced. But they were happy tears. Seeing someone dance that way should have made him incredibly sad, but, for some reason, it had filled him with a sense of peace. Somehow, it had made him feel better to know that the kind of beauty his wife exuded on a daily basis wasn’t completely gone from the world.
Then, Lexi had caught him, and the magical moment had ended. She’d obviously been unhappy that he was watching her, and he couldn’t blame her. He’d scurried off and taken Silver to dinner, and tonight was the first time he’d been back in Kodiak since that night. He told himself it was because he was trying to show Silver that he trusted her, but, if he was honest with himself, it was because he’d been scared to be around Lexi again.
Anderson hadn’t thought of any woman as beautiful since his wife had died more than six years ago. First, he’d been too overcome with grief to even see straight. Then, he’d been too busy trying to figure out how the heck to take care of a young infant who quickly became a rambunctious toddler. By the time he finally caught his breath, he had told himself he didn’t really want another woman in his life. He knew that his wife would have wanted him to move on and be happy, but he still felt disloyal. So he’d trudged on alone, throwing himself into fatherhood and work and ignoring any of the women in his clan who tried to subtly and not-so-subtly let him know they were interested. For a while, this had worked out okay. These last few months, especially, work had been so busy that keeping to himself hadn’t been a problem at all.
What had been a problem was trying to forget the way his heart had flip-flopped around in his chest when he saw Lexi in person for the first time. She was, simply put, breathtaking. No picture or video of her that he had seen did true justice to her beauty. Her smooth skin, shiny hair, and sparkling eyes drew him in. And he’d had to work hard to keep his eyes from grazing obviously over her beautiful curves, which her dance outfit had so clearly outlined. Anderson had found himself stammering in her presence, which was a strange sensation for him. Usually, he was a strong, confident grizzly shifter, able to fearlessly and confidently say whatever was on his mind. But Lexi had quite literally taken his breath away.
Now, as the lights in the auditorium dimmed further, and a hush spread over the gathered crowd, Anderson felt his palms growing sweaty. His heart was racing in his chest at the thought of seeing Lexi again. Of course, he was excited to see Silver dance. He wanted to see how much she had learned and improved over the course of the program. But he also wanted to see Lexi. He was craving her like a drug, and after denying himself any thoughts of her at all for the last several weeks, he could hardly wait to see her standing on the stage in front of him.
He didn’t have to wait much longer. About thirty seconds later she walked out, wearing a shimmering silver party dress that hit just above her knees. She strode confidently across the stage in her silver stilettos, which accented the muscles in her legs in such an effortlessly sensual way that Anderson had to stifle a groan. Her hair, which had been up in a tight bun the last time he saw her, now hung in long, loose waves around her shoulders. Perfect makeup and bright red lipstick finished off her look.
She was stunning, and Anderson’s bear started stirring within him, clawing at his heart and whispering that it was time for Anderson to give finding a mate another chance. Anderson stuffed down the feelings, and looked down at his feet while Lexi began the announcements. He had waited all this time to see her, and now he couldn’t look at her.
The strength of the passion that was overtaking him in waves was too much too process. It was more than just a physical attraction. Something deeper was calling him to her, and it was scaring him. He couldn’t love again. He just couldn’t. It was one thing to have a crush, but it was another thing entirely to feel an emotion as deep as love. Anderson felt like he was being disloyal to his deceased wife, and he tried as hard as he could to mentally block out the sound of Lexi’s voice as she spoke.
Lexi was thanking the parents for trusting her with their children, and was explaining the different songs the young ballerinas would be dancing to. Even though Anderson wasn’t looking up at Lexi’s face, the sound of her voice was enough to reach deep down into his soul and tug at his heart. He squeezed his eyes shut and kept his head down, trying to will away the feelings of affection that were filling him. After what felt like an impossibly long period of time, Lexi’s introduction was finally finished and she left the stage. Shortly after, the dance portion of the program started. Anderson opened his eyes and searched for his daughter, his heart aching with pride when he spotted her.
The young dancers all had varying degrees of talent. Some were very good, and some were not so good. But Silver was obviously the most skilled ballerina of the group. The way she effortlessly glided across the stage made her look like the spitting image of her mother. Anderson
felt tears stinging at his eyes. He tried to blink them away, but it was useless. He couldn’t believe that a tough, grizzly shifter like himself was sitting her with little rivers running down his face at the sight of a six-year-old ballerina—but that was what love for a daughter would do to a father.
The program lasted about thirty minutes, and Anderson spent most of that time wiping at his eyes and desperately trying to regain his composure. All thoughts of Lexi were momentarily forgotten as Anderson kept his eyes glued on his talented daughter. The girls all wore classic pink leotards and tutus, with their hair pulled back into neat buns. They looked similar on the outside, but Silver’s bright smile lit up the room in a way that no one else’s did. Anderson might have been a bit biased, but he thought Silver was the prettiest girl out of the whole bunch by far.
When the program ended, the young dancers were released into the crowd to find their parents, and everyone was invited to a reception next door. Anderson’s heart leapt at the thought of seeing Lexi up close again, but he quickly dismissed the idea. Being in the same room as her made it hard to breathe. He had to figure out a way to get out of attending the reception. And he had to do it fast, because Silver was bounding toward him, her eyes lit up with excitement and her hands outstretched for a hug.
“Hey, pumpkin,” Anderson said, scooping up his baby girl in his arms. “You were amazing.”
“Did you see me? Did you see me?” Silver asked over and over, not even pausing to give her dad a chance to answer. “I hit all of my steps. That was my best performance yet. I can’t believe I did so good!”
“Did so well,” Anderson corrected, but Silver wasn’t listening to his grammar lessons. She was pointing at the stage and talking about the glittering backdrop that had been set up for the performance, remarking on how beautiful it was. Anderson smiled and kissed the top of her head, surprised by how stiff her normally soft hair was tonight. They must have used a whole can of hairspray to keep her bun in place.
“Can we go get some cookies?” Silver asked, abruptly switching subjects yet again.
“Uh, sure. Do you know a cookie place around here?” Anderson asked, furrowing his brow a bit at Silver’s seemingly random request.
“No, Daddy. I mean at the reception. Can we go get some cookies from the reception? Miss Amy has been baking chocolate chip cookies all day and they smelled so yummy!”
Anderson started to panic. “Oh, um, I don’t know Silver I was thinking maybe we should get going. It’s getting late and we still have to fly back to Frost Peak.”
Silver’s face fell so dramatically that Anderson knew there was no way he was getting out of going to the reception. “It’s not that far, Daddy. And I want you to meet Lexi.”
Anderson winced inwardly. He didn’t bother mentioning to Silver that he’d already met Lexi. Silver would want to know all the details, and want to know why he hadn’t told her. Explaining would be harder than just giving in and going to the reception. Anderson grunted in resignation, and Silver squealed in delight, knowing that his lack of protest meant she was getting her way. She wriggled out of his arms and started running toward the entrance.
“Come on, Daddy! It’s this way!” she called out over her shoulder. She was out the door before Anderson even had a chance to respond. With another wince, Anderson followed her. As he walked across the lawn in front of the dance studio and toward the house next door, he put a gruff expression on his face.
He would go to the reception, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to act like he was enjoying it. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to spend any more time than necessary talking to Lexi Shaffer. It didn’t take a genius to see that any conversation with her was just playing with fire.
And Anderson wasn’t in the mood to get burned.
Chapter Five
Lexi couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so nervous. After performing in front of huge audiences for years, talking to a bunch of parents should have been easy. But as she made her rounds at the reception, Lexi couldn’t get her racing pulse to slow down. Her palms were hopelessly sweaty, and she kept wiping them on her dress, trying to dry them off before shaking yet another parent’s hand.
Most of the parents seemed pleased. One dad made a few comments about how he had hoped for more progress in his daughter’s dancing abilities, since Lexi was a famous Broadway star and all. Lexi had smiled politely and assured him that she was trying the best she could, although to be honest the man’s daughter didn’t have much of a future as a professional dancer. The girl was sweet, but didn’t have a sense of rhythm. Not that it mattered to Lexi. Lexi believed every person should dance just for the joy of it, regardless of what that person’s objective level of talent was. She had a feeling though that a man who was hoping to get his daughter to the level of a Broadway dancer wouldn’t appreciate this sentiment. So, she kept it to herself and wished him and his daughter the best, relieved to see them leaving the reception after only a few minutes.
After spending another few minutes fielding questions from one of the moms about what it had been like to date Greg Welch—not a topic Lexi felt like discussing—Lexi decided it was time to take a small break from greeting parents. Only a few couples remained, anyway, and they were busy talking with Lexi’s assistant teachers. Lexi escaped into the kitchen, which was out of view from the formal living room where the reception was being held. She rounded the corner quickly, and stretched to reach the cupboard above the refrigerator where she kept a small stash of alcohol. She hadn’t wanted to keep alcohol in the house when she was in charge of twenty young girls. Who knew what they would get into, after all? But she had a few bottles of whiskey that were valued at several hundred dollars—leftover gifts from her days as a darling of Broadway. Lexi didn’t even bother to look at which bottle she grabbed. She just pulled down the first one her hand found, and she quickly unscrewed the top.
With her eyes darting around quickly to make sure she was alone, she tilted her head back and took a big swig of the whiskey. The liquid burned her throat as it went down, and Lexi momentarily had the thought that whoever had given her this bottle would probably be appalled that she was chugging a shot straight from the bottle. But desperate times called for desperate measures, and Lexi was desperate to relax a bit right now. She closed her eyes and took one more swig, then quickly wiped her mouth with the back of her arm and started screwing the cap back on the bottle. That ought to help her calm down a bit.
But Lexi’s momentary feeling of relief quickly disappeared when she looked up to put the bottle back in the cupboard. Standing in the doorway, his eyebrows raised in her direction, was Silver’s father. Lexi felt like the floor was being pulled out from under her. Of all the people to catch her sneaking a sip of whiskey, it had to be the dad of the student who Lexi most wanted to continue teaching. Never mind that he was also incredibly handsome and would have made Lexi’s heart beat faster even if she hadn’t been feeling guilty at being caught chugging booze.
“Seems like I have a habit of startling you,” he said, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe. Lexi couldn’t tell whether his expression was one of annoyance or amusement. At least the first time he’d startled her, she’d only been dancing. This time she’d been caught drinking at a work event that involved children. Not that she was responsible for watching the children anymore, since they’d all been officially turned over to their parents. And not like a few swigs of whiskey would make her inebriated. But still. It didn’t look too great.
“Uh, yeah. You did startle me,” Lexi said, shrugging sheepishly and then quickly stepping over to the space in front of the refrigerator to put the bottle back in the cupboard. This required her getting so close to Silver’s dad that she could smell his aftershave. He smelled woodsy, like a mixture of fresh air and pine needles. Lexi felt a thrill of desire run through her, and she let out a small sigh of frustration. Add thinking romantic thoughts about a customer to her list of business blunders for the day. Lexi quickly shut the
cupboard and stepped backward, forcing herself to meet his eyes. They were piercing and a deep, dark brown. The same shade as Silver’s. Lexi racked her brain trying to remember his name, but she couldn’t come up with it. She remembered that it was something unique, but she couldn’t manage to pull it from the back of her mind. Every time she thought of him over the last few weeks, she had forced herself to only think of him as “Silver’s dad.” Somehow, not calling him by name made it easier to not stir up any feelings for him.
“So is it true then?” he asked, a slight tone of challenge in his voice.
“Is what true?” Lexi asked. She had no idea what he was talking about.
“The drinking,” he said, gesturing toward the cupboard where Lexi had just put away the whiskey bottle. “I read on a celebrity gossip site that you spent all your time in New York drinking and clubbing. I almost didn’t let my daughter come to your dance program because of it.”
Lexi felt her face turning red as a burning anger filled her. “None of that was true,” she said, her voice taking on a defensive tone. “All of those stories were lies made up by my ex to spite me. And what a joke of a story he made up. As if I actually had time or energy to go out clubbing. I was always busy rehearsing and performing. And when I wasn’t rehearsing or performing, I was too exhausted to do anything else besides sit on my couch and eat takeout.”
Silver’s dad raised an eyebrow again, and Lexi could tell that he wasn’t entirely convinced by her explanation. Lexi couldn’t believe this. She knew she couldn’t exactly blame him for being suspicious, given that he had just caught her with a bottle of liquor in her hand. But it was so unfair that after all of this time, Greg’s stupid, petty stories were still coming back to haunt her. Lexi’s thoughts quickly shifted from how gorgeous Silver’s dad was to how she could do some damage control. The last thing her fledgling dance studio needed was for a rumor to spread that she was some kind of drunken partier. She decided to try to smooth over the situation by acting like a confident, mature adult.
Grizzly Flying Free (Air Bear Shifters Book 2) Page 3