He had a feeling that her dreamer’s heart would one day take her away from Alaska. Deep down, he knew her ambitions were too big for this town. It was the one reason he felt pressure to find a new lifemate. Who would he spend his time with, once Silver was grown and gone? Right now, the only close friend he had nearby was Sawyer. Even Chance, his good friend whom he had once spent the majority of his time with, had moved away to California.
Anderson needed a lifemate, and he knew it. But no one had sparked deep feelings of love in his heart until Lexi. And Lexi had turned him down, running away the moment she found out he had a grizzly hiding below his skin. Anderson was left with nothing but regrets for taking a chance at trying to break free from the chains holding his heart captive. He grunted, and let out a frustrated roar, the sound echoing through the otherwise silent forest.
It was looking like this winter was going to be even longer and colder than he had thought.
Chapter Fourteen
Lexi shivered as she made her way through the dense forest brush. She didn’t know exactly where she was, but she had a compass with her so she wasn’t worried. She’d been heading straight west for the entire time she’d been walking, so as long as she headed straight east on the way back, she should have no trouble returning to Frost Peak.
She had waited a few hours after she woke up this morning to see if Anderson would try to contact her. She’d thought that maybe he would give her a call on her cell phone, or show up at her cabin door and try to see if she was okay. She’d thought he might even offer to take her back home to Kodiak, although, to be honest, she wasn’t sure what she would have said if he’d offered.
The truth was that she wasn’t sure that she wanted to go back to Kodiak right now. She hated being alone there. Winter break would be even lonelier than usual, since even her dance students wouldn’t be around to talk to. But what choice did she really have? She had pretty much slammed the door in Anderson’s face. And why? Because he was a little different than a normal human? Okay, maybe a lot different, but still. If Lexi was honest with herself, she had to admit that being able to turn into a bear and back again wasn’t that bad of a trait. In fact, it was actually pretty freaking cool. She’d just been so overwhelmed and shocked by the revelation that bear shifters actually existed, that she’d had no idea how to react other than running.
She’d spent a lot of time thinking over the last twelve hours or so. And all her thinking kept bringing her back to one conclusion: she loved Anderson Rowe, regardless of whether he was part grizzly. Maybe even especially since he was part grizzly. After all, what was the harm in having a bear side? As long as he could control it, which he had assured her he could, then he wasn’t hurting anyone. And his bear only added to his strength, power, and mystique. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that dating a bear of a man was actually pretty badass.
But now, she didn’t know if she still had a chance with him. She’d reacted horribly to his revelation. He had shared a deep, secret part of himself with her, and instead of taking a moment to be understanding, she had run off like he had just told her he had a deadly contagious disease or something. And the fact that he hadn’t attempted to contact her at all this morning worried her. Maybe he was just giving her space, but it seemed more likely that he was pissed off at her. And why shouldn’t he be? She hadn’t treated him well.
Lexi sighed, and continued trudging along through the deep snow. She wasn’t sure what her next move should be. Logic told her that she should move back to New York, where she could make serious money by opening a dance studio. The dance studio here was fun, and business had been good overall. But there were only so many students available in Kodiak. The population was far less than even one percent of the population of New York City. Not that Lexi needed the money. But what was she doing with her time, hiding out here in Alaska and being lonely? She had thought she would find a renewed sense of purpose by being here, but most of what she’d found so far was loneliness and heartache.
Maybe she was just one of those people who was meant to be alone. After all, things with Greg had come crashing down around her quite spectacularly. Things with Anderson seemed to be coming to an end, too, before they had even really begun. Maybe she was just not the kind of person who was any good at relationships.
Lexi bit her bottom lip in frustration, telling herself to get a hold of her thoughts and to stop being so negative. She was a beautiful, talented woman. Surely, there must be someone out there for her. But she knew even as she gave herself this pep talk that the problem was that she didn’t want just anyone. She wanted Anderson. She hadn’t even realized how much she wanted him until she’d completely blown her chances with him.
“Real smooth, Lexi,” she said aloud to herself, kicking the skinny trunk of a nearby pine sapling in frustration. In response, it showered several clumps of snow down onto her head. Lexi coughed as she accidentally inhaled some of the white powder, then brushed the remainder of the snow off her coat, shivering again from the cold. Maybe she should turn back. She wasn’t sure how long it would take to get back to her cabin, and daylight here this time of year didn’t last more than a few hours.
Just as Lexi turned around, though, she froze. The sound of a loud, angry roar filled the forest, and turned her blood cold. The shivers that ran down her spine in the next moment weren’t from the subzero temperatures—they were from fear. It hadn’t even occurred to her that she might run across a dangerous wild animal out here. She had been so caught up in her thoughts of loneliness and lost chances at love that she hadn’t bothered to consider borrowing a gun from someone for her trek.
The roar echoed through the forest again, and Lexi began running back in the direction of Frost Peak. She knew better than to run. If the animal was close by, all she was doing was alerting it to her presence. But panic and adrenaline had taken over, and she was pretty sure that the sound she had just heard came from a bear. All of a sudden, dating a grizzly shifter definitely didn’t seem like such a bad idea.
Lexi stumbled and tripped several times as she attempted to hightail it back toward town. The snow was too deep for her to move quickly, and she did her best to fight the awful feeling of dread that continued to rise from her very core. She had visions of the headlines that would grace the covers of the celebrity magazines after her body was found. “Lexi Shaffer, former dancing queen, found eaten by Alaskan bear.” She wondered whether there would be any sarcastic comments about how she should have stuck with Greg. After all, there weren’t too many bears living in Hollywood.
A few moments later, Lexi caught a blur of brown fur out of the corner of her eye, and realized with horror that not only had the roar she’d heard definitely come from a bear, but that bear was running straight toward her. She heard the logical side of her brain screaming at her to lie down and play dead, but she found it impossible to listen to logic right now. Panic had taken over completely, and she screamed as she started running as fast as she could in the opposite direction of the bear.
Her heart was pounding in her ears, and tears ran down her cheeks as she realized that this was likely going to be how her story ended. Alone, in a remote Alaskan forest, with an angry bear and a feeling of terror filling her final moments. She screamed again, and continued running, even though trying to outrun the large beast was useless. She didn’t dare to look back, but she was sure that the bear was closing in on her.
All of a sudden, though, she heard someone calling her name. Someone who sounded a lot like Anderson. Confused, she paused running just long enough to glance around wildly. Was he here? Did he have a gun? Could he maybe do that shifting trick and turn into a bear himself and save her?
As she turned to look behind her, she realized that the bear was gone. Instead of a giant brown beast running toward her, all she saw was Anderson, naked as the day he was born and sprinting toward her on his two very powerful but very human legs. Pieces of the puzzle started to click into place and Lexi realized that the b
ear that had been chasing her had been Anderson. She didn’t know whether to laugh with relief or to yell at him in anger for nearly killing her with a heart attack.
“Lexi!” he yelled again as he closed the distance between them. “It’s just me! Don’t be scared.”
“I thought I was about to get eaten by a bear!” Lexi said as Anderson covered the last few yards between them.
“I know. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to scare you. I forget sometimes that humans can’t tell the difference between a bear shifter and a full bear.”
“Yeah. We definitely can’t,” Lexi snapped. She immediately regretted the harsh tone in her voice, but it was hard to think clearly right now, since her heart was still beating quite a bit faster than normal.
“I’m sorry,” Anderson said again. “I just got excited when I saw you out here. I was hoping that maybe you would give me another chance to talk to you.”
Lexi took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. Then the absurdity of the situation hit her and she started laughing. Deep belly laughs that she couldn’t stop. A few days ago, if you’d told her that she was going to meet a man who could turn himself into a bear and then confuse him for an actual bear in a terrifying forest chase, she would have thought it all sounded pretty crazy. And it did sound crazy. Yet, here she was, standing next to a bear shifter who had just given her the fright of her life.
Anderson looked uncertainly over at Lexi. He didn’t seem to know how to react to her laughs, and he was starting to shiver uncontrollably. “Look,” he said. “I know you’re probably really overcome with emotion right now, and I don’t want to just run off on you. But I’m going to start getting frostbite in a matter of minutes if I stay in human form with no clothes on. Is it going to totally freak you out if I shift back into a bear?”
Lexi stopped laughing and wiped at her eyes, which were now filled with a mixture of tears from crying and tears from tears from laughter. “Go ahead,” she said. She really wanted to have a chance to talk to him, and she was pretty sure he couldn’t have a conversation with her while in bear form. But what was she supposed to do? Ask the poor guy to literally freeze so she didn’t have to wait to have a conversation that cleared the air?
“Ok, I’ll shift back and we can head back toward town,” Anderson said, his teeth already chattering. “My clothes and truck are at the trailhead. I won’t be able to talk while I’m in bear form, but I promise we can discuss everything as much as you want once we get back to the truck.”
Lexi nodded, unsurprised by his confirmation that their conversation would have to wait. In the next moment, Anderson let out a low growl that sounded completely primal and animal. It was strange to hear a noise like that coming from a human. Then, right before her eyes, Lexi saw a huge flash of light and was hit by a large wave of energy. She was knocked backwards by the surprising force of the power surge, but she managed to catch herself on a tree so that she didn’t fall over. She watched in fascination as Anderson quickly shifted forms again, going from a tall man to a giant grizzly. She stood, unmoving, for several moments after the transformation was complete. She rubbed her eyes, knowing that she wasn’t imagining things but still unable to completely accept the fact that she had just witnessed a bear change into a man and then back again. She felt like she was in the middle of some sort of prank, and that at any moment a camera crew was going to jump out and yell, “Surprise! We got you!” It almost seemed like the sort of joke that Greg would have loved to play.
But there was no camera crew. In fact, there was no one else in the forest at all, as far as Lexi could tell. The light was growing dimmer, and the only sound was the soft, huffing breathing of the grizzly now standing next to her. Anderson’s bear gently nuzzled Lexi’s hand, and then swung his head to his right, indicating that he wanted her to follow him. Lexi fell into step behind him, unable to believe how large his bear was. She had never seen a grizzly in person before, not even at a zoo, and she hadn’t realized that they were so massive. Just one of Anderson’s paws was bigger than her head.
They walked a few moments until they reached what seemed to be some sort of path. It was covered in snow, but the dense brush was cleared away, making walking easier. Lexi could hardly believe that she had been fighting her way through the thick trees when this path was only a few dozen yards away from where she’d been walking. It paid to be familiar with the area like Anderson was, she thought with a sigh.
For nearly an hour, they walked along in silence. Lexi knew that Anderson could have made it back to the edge of the forest much quicker if he hadn’t been waiting for her, but he didn’t seem to mind going slowly. He never rushed her by walking at a pace faster than what she was comfortable with. Truth be told, Lexi was glad to have a bear walking alongside her. She didn’t want to think about what would have happened if she had met a bear out here who didn’t happen to be half human. She also tried not to think about how amazing Anderson had looked naked. When he’d shifted, and she’d seen his perfect, muscular body and ample dick, she’d been unable to avert her eyes. She’d felt like she was obviously gawking, but she’d been unable to stop herself. He looked so delicious, and she hadn’t wanted to tear her eyes away. If he’d noticed her staring, though, he had done a good job of hiding it. In fact, he hadn’t seemed embarrassed by his nakedness, or interested in hiding it. He had acted like being completely naked in the middle of the forest was the most natural thing in the world.
By the time they reached the spot where Anderson had left his clothes, the sky was nearing complete blackness. Lexi shivered, and realized that she probably should have turned back long before she did. For someone who prided herself on not being a clueless city girl, she had acted pretty foolishly. Trekking alone into the forest, without a weapon and without a solid plan to get back before nightfall, didn’t seem too wise. Lexi’s cheeks reddened a bit with embarrassment, and she tried to think up a quick excuse to give to Anderson if he asked her about her foolishness.
But, as he shifted back, he didn’t comment on her ill-advised decisions. Instead, he quickly dressed, and then motioned toward the spot where his truck was parked.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get back into town and we can talk then, if you want. I know we left things at somewhat of an awkward spot last night, so we should probably discuss whether you want to get back to Kodiak before Christmas. Do you want to come over to my cabin for dinner? No pressure, and don’t think I’m trying to be obnoxious and make another move on you. It just makes the most logistical sense.”
“Sure,” Lexi said. “Dinner sounds nice.” She didn’t add that she definitely didn’t want to go back to Kodiak right now, and that she was sorry she had acted like such an idiot. She figured she’d at least wait until she had a glass of wine in her hand before trying to explain her less than stellar reaction from the night before.
Anderson drove back to his cabin without speaking, only breaking the silence to ask whether Lexi wanted to stop by her cabin and change before dinner.
She didn’t. She just wanted to get to his place and get this tough conversation out of the way. She had a feeling that tonight was going to be either the worst or best night of her life, and she couldn’t wait much longer to find out which one it would be.
Lexi had never been a very spiritual person, but as Anderson’s truck pulled up in front of his cabin, Lexi found herself praying to God, the universe, and whoever else might want to listen. She was desperately hoping for the best.
Chapter Fifteen
Anderson held the front door of his cabin open for Lexi, then followed her inside, relishing the warmth that greeted him from the well-heated living room. He quickly stepped into the kitchen and opened a bottle of wine, not bothering to even ask Lexi whether she was interested before he grabbed the corkscrew. Regardless of whether she wanted a glass, he needed something to calm his nerves. He couldn’t believe she was still here, but he had a feeling that the fact that she was meant that he still had a chance to win h
er over. All was not completely lost.
He just somehow had to manage not to screw this up.
“Would you like a glass?” he asked, looking in Lexi’s direction and gesturing toward the bottle. She nodded, and he poured two generous glasses, setting one down in front of her and taking a giant swig from the other.
“I’m just going to get changed real quick,” he said, and she nodded again. The air between them was full of nervous tension, and he wanted a moment to gather his thoughts before launching into what was sure to be one of the most defining conversations of his life. Somewhere deep down, he felt like Lexi was his one chance to find true love again. He had spent the last six years of his life thinking no one would ever reach his heart again. But somehow, she had. She might be the only one left who could. He’d thought he’d lost her for good last night, but somehow she was still here—still in Frost Peak, and still standing in his cabin despite the fact that she had now seen him fully shift between bear and human more than once.
He slipped into his bedroom, and changed into a comfortable pair of jeans and a simple long-sleeved t-shirt. He pulled fresh woolen socks over his feet, and paused in front of his bedroom door for a few moments to take a few deep breaths. There was a lot on the line here, but he needed to remember who he was. A bear shifter, a strong and courageous grizzly. He needed to show Lexi that he wanted to help her understand who he was, but that he would not apologize for it. He had to have faith that if she was the right woman for him, that she would understand this. When he’d seen her in the forest, his heart had leapt in his chest. He took it as some sort of sign from destiny. There were thousands of acres of forest near Frost Peak, and somehow he and Lexi had ended up in the same spot several miles away from town. Surely, there was a reason they had crossed paths again like that. He knew he had scared her, and he regretted not shifting back to human form before starting to run after her. But she seemed to have taken it in stride once she realized who he was. She hadn’t run off again, at least. She was still here, and still seemed willing to talk to him.
Grizzly Flying Free (Air Bear Shifters Book 2) Page 10