by Clare Revell
“Apparently not. I love this time of year.”
He shook his head. “Then celebrate it all you like. Just don’t expect me to join in.”
Caitlyn leapt for joy. “Really? I can have a tree down here?”
“One small tree. In the library.” He didn’t have to go into the library at all, he reasoned.
She threw her arms around him. “Thank you, so, so much.” She kissed his cheek.
Hayden turned his face and caught her lips gently with his. Then he pulled back.
She reached up, brushing a rain drop from his face. “Who are you really, Hayden? Who is the man behind the mask?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Because you’re my husband.”
“You may find that you don’t like me. And what kind of a marriage would we have then?”
“No worse than a loveless one.” She blinked, her eyes losing their lustre.
Lightning flashed overhead. Hayden pulled her close. “We should get inside before we drown.”
“It’s still all right if I go out?” she asked.
“Of course. You’re my wife, not my prisoner.”
Caitlyn opened the car door as Jones stopped outside the ranger station. “There’s no need to wait. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”
“Very good, ma’am.”
Caitlyn shut the door, not sure she’d ever get used to having servants bow and scrape to her. She dashed up the path, gathering her skirts to avoid falling over them.
The door opened as she got there. Meredith and her husband Jeremiah stood there. Meredith smiled. “You made it.”
“Of course. I’m his wife, not his prisoner, to quote him directly.”
That was worth it for the expression on Meredith’s face. “You’re what?”
“Married.” Caitlyn laughed, holding out her left hand. “See.”
“When? Who to? Surely not…” Meredith’s mouth dropped as she glanced at Jeremiah, then back at Caitlyn. “To him?”
Jeremiah raised an eyebrow. “To Mr. Shade?”
Caitlyn nodded. “It’s a long story.”
“Then come into the kitchen, I’ll make some tea and you can tell us both all about it.” Meredith tugged Caitlyn’s arm.
“At least let her take her coat off first, love,” Jeremiah chuckled.
Caitlyn was given ten seconds to comply before Meredith started in with the questions again. Caitlyn held up a hand. “David and I never were an item. Besides, I don’t think anything he ever told me was the truth. And like I said, Ty and I would never have made it work. Hayden and I got married yesterday, in the chapel at the house, with Pastor Nolan and the servants for witnesses. I tried to tell you after the meeting yesterday, but you had to rush off.”
“Is this what you want?”
“Honestly?” Caitlyn grabbed the cup Jeremiah offered. Her gaze encompassed the both of them as he sat down. “It’s an arranged marriage. Dad stole a lot of money from Hayden—several million actually—and he took me in lieu of payment. I’m officially the world’s most expensive bride.”
“Surely that can’t be legal?” Jeremiah asked.
“We have papers to say it is. Besides, we can’t all marry for love as you two did. And he’s not as bad as the rumours make out. He isn’t a vampire, and he definitely doesn’t have horns. We’re having a blessing service of sorts on Christmas Eve for family and friends. I’d like you both to come.”
Meredith and Jeremiah exchanged a long, silent glance.
Caitlyn gazed heavenward, before turning to Meredith. “What?”
“I can’t believe your father sold you.”
“Well, he did. He won’t even come on Christmas Eve. At least Hayden said he won’t.”
“Ring him and ask him yourself.”
Caitlyn pulled out her phone. She had nothing to lose. She dialled the number she knew so well. “Father, it’s Cait—” She glared at the handset. “He hung up.”
“Weird. Let me try.” Jeremiah pulled out his phone. “Mr. Hosier? Hi, it’s Jeremiah Mantle from the ranger’s station. I’m well, thank you. How are you? I’m here with Caitlyn and…Oh, I see. Sorry to have bothered you.”
Caitlyn studied him. “Well?”
“I’m sorry. He asked me to tell you he won’t see you again. That you made your choice.”
Tears burned her eyes. It wasn’t fair. She did this for him and for that he’d cast her off? “I’m sorry. I should go. I’m not going to be very good company.”
“Nor am I,” Meredith announced. “In fact I think we should spend the next hour telling Jeremiah where to hang the ceiling decorations and making paper chains. We won’t mention parents again. Or husbands.”
Caitlyn blew her nose. “How will you do that?”
Meredith laughed. “For the next hour, he’ll be a random ranger bloke I’ve got in to do some decorating.”
Despite her inner turmoil, Caitlyn had to chuckle at the expression on Jeremiah’s face.
“Random ranger bloke?” he protested.
Meredith winked. “Yes. And when you do want to go home, Jeremiah the random ranger taxi driver will take you.”
“I can walk. There aren’t any wolves now. It’s just a little rain.”
“You’ll get soaked. Hayden will never forgive us. You’ll have a ride home, end of debate.”
Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “And I thought I left the rule book at home.”
“Rule book?”
“Long story. Will you come over tomorrow morning? I can show you my new wardrobe. I have so many lovely dresses now. Get there for coffee around ten-thirty. But don’t wear jeans.” She smoothed down her skirt. “He has a thing for dresses, but honestly, that’s one rule I don’t mind.”
Meredith tipped a pile of paper chains in front of her. “Get assembling. We have a whole house to decorate before you leave.”
Hayden stood at the doorway as Caitlyn ran up the steps.
She turned and waved to the man in the car, and then spun around to face him.
“Am I late?”
He shook his head. “Not at all. I saw the car from the study window and was curious as to who it was.”
“That was Jeremiah, forest ranger and Meredith’s husband. You’ll meet them tomorrow as they are coming for coffee around ten-thirty. Meredith is my BFF.”
Hayden frowned as he shut the front door. “BFF?” he queried. “Butterflies fly faster?”
Caitlyn snorted as she hung her coat. “Boats can fly and float.”
“Biscuits are fat free.”
She toed off her boots. “Better find food. Boiled fish fingers.”
“Best fried fish.” He eyed her straight faced.
“Nah, had fish yesterday. Or was it the day before. How about best female friend?”
“Are you not allowed male friends?” Hayden kept his face deadpan. “Or are they called something different?”
“Honestly, I have no idea.” She tilted her head. “Not sure why we need to add the female bit—sign of the times I guess. Actually, it’s best friend forever…” She frowned, her voice trailing off as she gazed at him. “Something about you is different. Have you changed your mask?”
“No.” Hayden adjusted his grip on the cane. His leg was more painful than usual. “How was your morning?”
“We decorated the ranger station. It was fun.” She paused, sliding her arm into his. “I rang Father. He won’t even talk to me. I did this for him and now…he’s cut me off it’s like it’s my fault and I did something wrong.”
“Never think that.” Hayden led her into the dining room. “I know I said we wouldn’t have lunch together, but I missed you.”
“At least someone did.”
“This won’t be as elegant as usual, I’m afraid. My culinary skills are somewhat lacking.”
“You cooked?” Caitlyn’s brows peaked, and she sounded surprised. “Are you trying to kill me?”
H
e chuckled. “Not a very intelligent way of doing it as I’m planning on eating the same meal. I don’t think Mrs. Salmon approved of my food preparation if the grunts and mutters are anything to go by. She was anxious for me to leave as she offered to clear up my mess.” He removed the lid from the dish between the two place settings.
She grinned. “I love spaghetti. This and toad in the hole are right up there as my favourite meals.”
“I must confess, I have never had toad in the hole. And I’m not entirely sure as to what it is.”
“Sausages in Yorkshire pudding. I’ll have to make it for you.”
He grasped her hands. “I’ll look forward to it. Let me say grace and you can start.”
Caitlyn spent the afternoon in the library, cataloguing a fraction of the vast array of books. This truly was a librarian’s dream. So many treasures lay undiscovered, she was convinced of it. Darkness fell and she turned on the lamps. Still she continued to work.
“You missed dinner.”
The quiet Scottish voice tore her away from the pages she’d been reading. “I hadn’t realized the time. I’m sorry.”
“I sent yours back to the kitchen. I wasn’t sure whether you’d want it or not, so I asked it be put in the warming oven for now.”
Caitlyn slid the second edition Jane Austen back onto the shelf, noting the slight irritation in his voice. “Thank you. I’ll go and get it in a few minutes. You should put some photos of your family on the tables and shelves around the place. They had some really nice frames in town. I could pick some up for you, if you like.”
Hayden stiffened, his cane hitting the table leg with a thud. “Why? They abandoned me long ago. I have no wish for a permanent reminder of them around the house.”
“They left you?” Compassion filled her. “Was this because of the accident you mentioned? The reason you don’t celebrate Christmas?”
His eyes darkened. His lips twisted. Colour played over his face. “You just can’t leave things alone, can you? Very well. They blamed me for what happened. It wasn’t my fault. If Rafe hadn’t…” He turned away, trembling, fingers whitening on his cane.
“Don’t do that.” She moved in front of him, determined to get answers this time. “Who’s Rafe? You have his birth certificate in your study.”
“Rafe was my brother. He was exactly a year older than me, twins in everything bar birth year. He died. I lived. I got the blame and was never forgiven.” He blinked hard, averting his face from her. “My parents threw a Christmas party in the barn adjacent to the house. Rafe was climbing the ladder by the tree. I followed him. Somehow the beam the ladder was attached to gave way. We fell. The roof caved in.”
Her heart ached for him and she struggled to keep her voice steady. “Y—you should contact your parents. Send them a card at least. Perhaps after all this time—”
Grief turned to anger in an instant. “They abandoned me,” he roared, eyes blazing. “Never once did they visit me in hospital, except to tell me it was all my fault. They sent me away to a specialist school. I came home that first Christmas holiday to find they’d moved. Then I went into the care system, but no one wanted a damaged kid like me. So, no, even if I did know where they were, I wouldn’t contact them. And that is why I hate Christmas.”
Caitlyn backed away, her stomach pitting. Fear flickered. “I—I might go find my dinner…”
“Good idea.” Hayden whipped away, hands clenching into fists. “Sometimes the past is best left alone for a reason, Caitlyn. Accept the mask for what it is. A curse.”
Caitlyn lay in bed as the clock chimed midnight. The familiar cries and groans from next door grated. Getting up, she slid into her robe, determined to get to the bottom of this. She knocked on the connecting door. “Hayden?”
There was no reply. She tried the door, and this time it opened. He’d obviously listened to her comment earlier. A lamp illuminated the room, and she crossed to the bed.
Hayden lay with his back to her.
She laid a hand on his shoulder. “Hayden?” There was no answer, so she shook a little harder. “Hayden, wake up.” She pulled him toward her.
Light shone on his maskless face.
Bile rose in her stomach and she clamped a hand over her mouth, backing away from the bed in horror.
Hayden woke. “Caitlyn?” His hand rose to his face, as he reached out for the mask to conceal himself.
Caitlyn turned and ran. She shut the connecting door, shoving a chair in front of it.
The door shook. “Caitlyn? Open the door.”
She sat on the bed, shaking, trying not to be sick. Unable to erase the images from her mind.
“Caitlyn, please. Let me in.”
She didn’t reply, pulling her knees tight against her. Finally the banging on the door ceased. Tears seeped from her eyes. She’d wanted to know what was behind the mask and now she knew. And how she wished she didn’t.
Behind the mask was nothing but torn, mismatched skin, bone and something that would not appear out of place in a horror movie.
Hayden returned to his bed, catching sight of his reflection in the mirror. He pulled off his mask. Tears tracked his cheeks. Half man, half monster. The accident which took Rafe had also taken his face. Now she knew the truth, she’d never love him, no matter what he did. His mother was right.
“Unless a woman tells you she loves you and means it, you’ll die before you’re thirty. Alone, unloved, and guilty as sin.
9
Hayden went down for breakfast, to find the table had been laid for one. He glared across at the butler. “Where is my wife’s place?”
“Mrs. Shade requested breakfast in her room an hour or so ago, sir,” Torrance explained. “I’ve already collected her dishes.”
Hayden sighed. “Then please pull the curtains. If it’s only me, I’ll eat in the dark as normal.” No longer hungry, he picked at the scrambled egg on toast. His heart ached. Without Caitlyn’s cheerful countenance, his life was empty and dark. He needed her, but after last night, she’d probably never want anything to do with him again.
He pushed away the partly eaten meal and rose. He grabbed his cane and stomped into the hall. Around him the servants busied themselves stringing fairy lights and holly along the bannisters and over pictures. An undecorated tree stood at the foot of the stairs. Hayden muttered under his breath. He’d had this conversation with them.
“What are you doing?” he demanded.
The footman froze. “Mrs. Shade found them in the attic and asked that we put them up.”
He scowled. “Did she? Well, just stop what you’re doing. It’s almost eight-thirty. The coach will be here at nine to collect you all.”
Torrance came out of the dining room, a tray of uneaten food in his hands. “Nine, sir? We weren’t expecting it until eleven-thirty.”
Hayden wished he had his hood to hide behind. “Surprise. Make sure everyone is ready, will you? See you in January.” He took three steps then paused. “Is Mrs. Shade still in her room?”
“She’s in the attic, sir, searching for Christmas decorations. She’s hoping to find the rest of the nativity scene that goes under the tree.”
Hayden jerked his head. That woman should change her name to Christmas. “Of course she is.” He headed to his study, not wanting to deal with his wife’s addiction to the season. His heart told him she was right. Jesus was the reason for the season, but his head was chock full of memories he didn’t want.
He eased into his chair, and pulled open the laptop. Focusing his mind on the task in hand, he dealt with the morning correspondence. Next he rang his new accountant to double-check that everything was settled with the tax office. He didn’t want a huge debt hanging over his head longer than need be. He clasped the phone, fingers whitening on the handset. His other hand tugged on the coiled cable connecting the receiver to the base. “Did you get that other information I asked for? The file
on your predecessor—Frank Hosier?”
“Yes, sir,” came the disembodied reply. “It’s in your email, with a hard copy being couriered to you today.”
“Thank you. I will email you a follow up with instructions.” Hayden dropped the receiver onto the base. He opened his email, checking for the one mentioned. Next he perused Caitlyn’s father’s finances. The man was in a worse state than he’d thought possible. Once he had worked out how much all the debts came to, which shocked even him, he emailed his new accountant back, instructing that the correct sum of money be paid to each of the creditors—enough to wipe out every single debt. It was the least he could do. The last thing Caitlyn needed was her father being turned out onto the streets by the bailiffs.
A coach drew up outside and chattering servants clambered aboard with boxes and cases. Finally, the front door shut, and the coach pulled away.
Silence descended on the house like a pall.
Only it wasn’t quiet. From somewhere above him, echoing through the heating ducts and vents, he could hear singing. Singing!
Caitlyn…
He needed to see her, touch her. He rose and grabbed the cane. Heading into the hallway, he paused. Presumably she was still in the attic; hunting through goodness only knew what.
Conflicting emotions warred. He settled into a rage that grew as he strode up the stairs. She needed to learn to leave things alone. But along with the anger grew a knowledge that he loved her. He would do anything for her. She belonged to him and he’d protect her to the end if need be. Even if she never loved him back.
The singing grew louder.
“Once upon a Christmas, many years ago, a baby born in Bethlehem, changed everything we know…”
Hayden flung open the door. The attic was in darkness. The singing stopped as the door hit the frame hard. “Caitlyn, are you in here?”
“Yes, I am.” The thin voice came from somewhere in the dark.
He couldn’t see her, or even make out where her voice was coming from. “Why are you hiding?”
“Not hiding. The house was dull. I was trying to find a way to decorate it without having to go out and buy new stuff. You did say last night we could put Christmas things up. I found a tree and a few bits already.”