by Rob Kaufman
“Take care of what? What’s going on? What happened?”
The waiter and two servers suddenly appeared at their table. A short, thin Cuban boy no more than nineteen years old set Philip’s plate on the table in front of him. Another Cuban, almost a doppelganger of the first, delivered Jonathan’s meal. Anxious for them to leave, Jonathan beat the waiter to the punch.
“Great. Thanks, Stefan — we don’t need anything else right now.”
Stefan forced a smile, his perfect white teeth a sharp contrast to his dark stubble, and gave them a quick bow before leaving the table in silence. He was either very perceptive or mortally offended. Either way, Jonathan knew he’d be paying for his guilt by over tipping.
“So what did G say? You look as though someone just slapped you.”
Philip picked up the knife and began to slice his steak.
“That’s probably because someone just did slap me. Angela slapped me.” Philip put a small piece of filet in his mouth and chewed slowly. “And she slapped you, too.”
The temperature by the bay was a balmy seventy degrees, but Jonathan felt a chill through his body. He pushed his dish to the far side of the table and clasped both hands in front of him. He could barely speak, let alone eat. “Go on.”
“We have to call G later, but the gist of it is Angela’s looking for more money — double what she’s getting now. Plus there’s some bullshit about a college fund, other household expenses and… I don’t know… I didn’t get the details. G said she just received papers from a Fiona somebody — some big time fertility lawyer who’s now representing Angela.” He shook his head and threw his fork down onto his plate. “Representing Angela!” Philip shouted. “I still can’t believe it! What the hell did I get us into?”
Guests from nearby tables turned their heads and glared at him. He didn’t notice, his eyes focused on his plate as though the answer to his problem lay somewhere between his steak and the organic mashed potatoes.
Jonathan took Philip’s hand and gently squeezed it. “We’ll make this work, Philip. Don’t go crazy over it. And I don’t want you feeling guilty about it either. We made this decision together and now it’s something we have to deal with.”
“Yeah, but I knew who she was… who she used to be.” Philip blinked his eyes trying to suppress tears. “I should’ve known people can’t change. At least not to the degree Angela changed. She’s a screwed up mess and now we’re a part of that mess.”
Jonathan tossed his napkin onto his plate. “Let’s get out of here. We’ll take a walk along the water before we call G. Okay?”
Philip just nodded. Jonathan had seen Philip in this state only once before, the day his sister Jen succumbed to the non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma she’d endured for more than three years. Philip had consistently said he was prepared for her death, but when the time came, he was inconsolable; silent for days with nothing more to eat than the toast and coffee Jonathan practically hand fed him.
Philip was an eternal optimist, believing Jen could find something within herself to defeat the disease. But she never did find it, which made Philip feel more disappointment than grief. And tonight, Jonathan saw the glass wall of optimism Philip spent so many years rebuilding shattered by a woman who deceived them in ways Jonathan had only imagined during fits of paranoia.
The sudden realization that his son was inside of a deceitful, hateful woman made his stomach churn. He quickly stood to stop from vomiting. He waved to Stefan, gestured for the check, and walked around the table to Philip.
“It’s going to be okay, babe, I promise.” Jonathan lightly combed his fingers through Philip’s hair, then bit down hard on his bottom lip, remembering he’d said those exact words to Philip the day they found out his sister had cancer.
*
They walked side by side along the shoreline, pants rolled halfway up their calves, shoes dangling from their fingers. Light from the restaurants and bars fell onto the sand, creating shadows that resembled a two-dimensional cityscape. Philip and Jonathan stayed within the shade of night, hearing the noise of laughter and clanking plates to their left and the tranquility of the ebbing tide to their right.
They strolled in silence, neither uttering a word since leaving the restaurant. Ready to jump out of his skin, Jonathan tapped Philip’s shoulder and waited for a response. Nothing. He did it again.
“What, Jonny?” He sounded annoyed.
“Are we going to talk about this or walk all the way to Boca?”
Philip slowed his pace and faced the ocean before he finally stopped walking.
“Are we that gullible, Jonny or is Angela the best actress in the world? I’ve been trying to figure it out, thinking back for any indication she’d do something like this to us. I can’t find one and that makes me feel like an idiot.”
Jonathan planted his feet in the wet sand beside Philip and gazed at the miniscule lights blinking on the ocean’s dark surface.
“I’ll take your second option. I think she’s the best actress in the world. You know me, Philip. I admit I’m one of the most paranoid people around — especially when it comes to people like Angela who are so full of goodwill … always so nice and accommodating. I don’t think we’re idiots. I think we’re just too trusting.”
Philip flicked sand off his toes and dropped his head back to take in a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, he turned to Jonathan.
“I know you’ll think I’m crazy, but I still have to believe somewhere inside that this is her hormones reacting. That she was upset with us for going away and didn’t know how to handle her emotions, so she called this lawyer to get even with us. That’s why I need to talk with her about it. I need her to understand that she needs to grow up and stop acting like a child.”
Jonathan shook his head and looked at the side of Philip’s face illuminated by the lights.
“Are you kidding me? You’re still giving her the benefit of the doubt? Jesus, Philip, this is going to take more than a slap on the wrist or a lecture on how an adult should act. Are you sure she hadn’t planned this all along? Do you think she’s asking for five thousand dollars a month simply because we went on vacation for a few days?” He turned toward the ocean, his head pounding with each thump of waves. “My paranoia is back in full force and I don’t want that bitch getting away with anything. I say we have G take care of the whole thing. She and her team are top notch and I think we should stay out of it.”
“Jonny,” Philip said, gently rubbing his arm. “She’s carrying your baby. How can you say we should stay out of it? Can you imagine living the rest of our lives through lawyers, courts, restricted visitations, and all the crap that goes along with parents who don’t get along? It’s not a way for any child to grow up.” He grabbed Jonathan’s hand. “Why can’t we try to nip it in the bud now, in a civil way? And if it doesn’t work we’ll let G take over.”
For a few seconds Jonathan felt dizzy, seasick, as if he wasn’t standing on shore but instead was drifting upon the waves crashing only a few feet beside him. His anger about the entire situation was affecting him physically and he knew he’d better get it under control before his feelings started impacting his relationship with Philip. The last thing he wanted was for Angela to cause a rift between them. He suspected nothing would please her more than to have Philip all to herself.
He steadied himself by letting the cool breeze blow through his hair and down the collar of his shirt.
“G is not going to like this,” Jonathan said, turning around and heading back toward the hotel. “I can hear her voice in my head and she’s not sounding happy.”
Philip laughed and ran to catch up with him.
“You wanna play good cop, bad cop with her, or would you rather me take care of it myself?”
“We’ll start with good cop, bad cop and take it from there. I just hope she lets us get a word in edgewise.”
“Don’t you worry your sweet little head about it. You know I can pretty much use my charm to make things work my
way.”
Jonathan picked up his pace.
“You’re going to need more than charm for G. When she makes up her mind, it’s pretty much locked up.”
*
It was locked tighter than either of them expected.
“I’ll say it again, I emphatically oppose that strategy,” G’s tone was sharp and angry. “I can’t let you speak with that woman without counsel present. That would just be asking for trouble — especially with an attorney like Fiona Wilder. Who, by the way, has a last name that fits her to a tee.”
Philip and Jonathan sat on the balcony of their Ritz-Carlton hotel room, leaning toward the cell phone on the table beside them. The breeze from the ocean was cool and a bit strong, but not as forceful as the voice emanating from the phone.
“I have to do it, G.” Philip said. “I know her, or at least I used to know her. I know where she comes from and what buttons I need to press to knock some sense into her. Sitting down and talking with her is the only way.”
Silence from the other end of the phone. Jonathan looked at Philip who shrugged his shoulders.
“G… are you still there?” Philip asked hesitantly.
Jonathan looked out over the balcony wall, catching sight of cruise ship lights floating like ghosts upon an ocean of black ink. He wondered if there was someone standing on the ship’s balcony watching the light from their hotel room and questioning, like he was, if there were other people whose lives had just been turned upside down.
“Yes, I’m here. But it’s obvious I’m speaking with two brick walls.” G sighed. “I’d rather start this in mediation, during which minutes are taken, witnesses are present, and everything is out in the open — well, most everything. I’m sure Fiona will have a few tricks up her sleeve that she won’t be sharing, but we’ll have some of our own, too. And just so you know, they’re requesting a lot more than they know they’ll get. It’s just another piece of their strategy.”
After a few seconds of silence, Philip stood and leaned against the balcony railing. He shook his head at Jonathan, then shrugged.
“Okay G, you know best,” he said, sweeping his bare foot along the balcony floor. “We’re cutting this vacation short and will be on a 9:50 am flight into LaGuardia. We should land by one-ish. When’s the soonest you can meet with us?”
“I’m in court for most of tomorrow, but after that I’m all yours. Call Missy and let her know what day and time work for you and we’ll make it happen. I’ll have Jason in on the meeting, too. I think he drew up the initial contracts for Angela, right?”
“Yes, he did,” Jonathan said. “And I hope the both of you can convince Philip that everything will be okay.” He poked Philip’s foot with his big toe. “What do you think, G, can you do that?”
G didn’t answer immediately and Jonathan moved closer to the phone, thinking he’d missed something. They heard papers shuffling, and then G spoke. “Guys, I’m telling you right now I can’t promise anything. As I discussed with you before the decision was made, there are a lot of gray areas in the realms of assisted reproduction and sperm donation. I can tell you this firm will do everything humanly and legally possible to insure you’re protected and your assets are secure.”
She paused and sighed. “Of course, there’s a lot more fallout from this than financial. There’s the emotional and personal side, visitation rights, etcetera. So many things that might be gray areas now, but we’ll be forced to make them black and white for this particular case. It’s going to be a game of give and take. Right now I’m suggesting you take the rest of the night to enjoy the Florida air and get some sleep so you can be fresh for your trip tomorrow. Okay?”
“Well, that doesn’t sound too reassuring,” Jonathan said, forcing a laugh he knew came off as nerves. “But we trust you and know you’ll do whatever you can.” He looked up at Philip. “Anything else before we hang up?”
Philip shook his head. “Thanks, G. We’ll see you on Thursday.” His voice was almost a whisper. “Goodnight.”
Jonathan hung up the phone and walked to Philip, who was now leaning on the railing staring into the distance.
“I’m going to see her,” Philip said. “I have to meet with her at least once, just to make sure she wants to take it this far.”
“Philip, you heard G.”
“I know what G said, Jonny, but she’s a lawyer. You know the way it is. Lawyers think law suits, courts, drama all that crap. We’re talking about people… you, me, Angela. And like I said before, we don’t want lawyers in the middle of our lives forever.” The breeze had picked up a bit and Philip brushed the hair from in front of Jonathan’s eyes. He touched Jonathan’s cheek with the back of his hand. “I’m going to make this right, Jonny. I got us into this and I’m going to get us out of it.”
Jonathan grabbed Philip’s hand and held it against his face. “Please stop saying that, Philip. You did not get us into this. We got us into this and it’s up to us to get us out of it. So if you’re going to see her, then I need to be there too.”
“No way, Jonny. That won’t work. She’ll feel like we’re ganging up on her and that’ll kill it right from the start. I need her to be calm, to feel like she’s talking to her old college friend, someone who understands and sympathizes with her. I think I can do that, but I have to do it alone. You understand, right?”
“I understand,” Jonathan said. “But I don’t like it.” The whole situation made him feel uneasy. Having Philip confront Angela by himself while he, the father of their child, sat waiting at some Starbucks up the block, sent chills down his spine.
“I don’t trust her, Philip.” Jonathan shook his head in disbelief. He walked through the French sliders and into the suite, falling onto the loveseat. “And to be honest, I don’t trust you. You’re too nice, too giving, too compassionate. I can see you calling me from her house tomorrow telling me to pack my stuff because we’re moving into her house and she’s moving into ours.”
Philip leaned over the back of the loveseat and kissed the top of Jonathan’s head. “That’s why I love you so much. You’ve got an imagination that pretty much orbits another planetary system. Can you come back down to earth for a minute or two?”
“I don’t think you want me down to earth right now.” Jonathan slouched in the corner of the sofa and threw his legs over its arm. “Because if I was, I’d be dwelling on the fact that our only real vacation in almost two years has been ruined by a crazy, lying, lazy bitch who wants to suck our finances dry while she refuses to work and eats her way into donut heaven. And if I came back down to earth, I’d also have to come to the realization that my biggest fear has come true: our son’s future will be in the hands of a woman we despise. We’ll have no say in how he’s brought up, she’ll take her frustrations with us out on him, she’ll make him as obese and unhealthy as she is and…”
“Okay, okay. I get it, Jonny, I get it. And that’s why I have to go talk with her tomorrow. I’m going to make sure none of that ever happens.”
Jonathan twisted himself around and set his feet on the floor. “And let’s also make sure this doesn’t screw up you and me. Bad enough she’s getting between us and our son; we can’t let it affect our relationship.” His throat tightened and he found it difficult to swallow. “We promised we’d be together forever, remember?”
Before Jonathan had the chance to stand, Philip crouched before him and leaned his arms on Jonathan’s thighs. With their faces only inches apart, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply as though trying to catch Jonathan’s breath with his own. Without saying a word Jonathan watched, waiting until Philip opened his eyes and smiled.
“Now you’re with me forever,” whispered Philip.
Jonathan kissed Philip gently on the mouth and smiled back, although at that moment all he really wanted to do was cry.
18
Philip was hoping for a sunny day, a good reason to pull open the curtains throughout Angela’s house and brighten the atmosphere before getting down to busines
s. But the cold front that had been slowly moving in stalled just north of New England, bringing clouds and drizzle, overcastting the entire tri-state area with a somber mist.
It was almost 3:00 in the afternoon. They’d made good time, the traffic from LaGuardia unusually light, allowing them to stop at the house and drop off their luggage. On their way to Angela’s, the SUV was silent except for the sound of the tires eating up the road before them. The occasional squeal of the windshield wipers occupied more of the car than the two men inside, each of them working through their own thoughts. Philip watched the droplets on the window beside him crawl along the glass, the car’s sixty seven mile per hour speed keeping the water propelled in a straight line. An odd sense of awe hit him; a realization that once the car slowed down, the droplets would trickle down its side, onto the pavement and then evaporate into thin air, as though they’d never existed. Just like people, he thought.
He shook his head, trying to get his mind in a better place.
Placing his hand on the armrest, Philip turned to Jonathan. “Hey, you know this is going to work, right?”
Jonathan nodded and laid his hand on top of Philip’s.
“And Jonny, please, when you drop me off, don’t sit in the car and wait down the block. Just go to the Starbucks on Blackrock and wait for my call. And don’t drink too much coffee or you’ll be more wired than you usually are… and we don’t want to have to deal with that on top of everything else!”
Jonathan squeezed Philip’s hand, hard. “Any more rules before I throw you to the wolves?”
“Ouch!” Philip yelled. “Not so hard!” He pulled his hand away, rubbed it and examined it for wounds. “Yes, there’s one more rule. You have to give me at least a half hour before you start freaking out and trying to call me. I mean, I’m hoping after about fifteen minutes I can call and invite you to partake in a reunion of the happy trio. But if not, don’t be concerned.”
He knew his words were going in one ear and out the other. Jonathan was a born worrier and no words would stifle his edginess. He’d hoped that giving Jonathan a timeframe would help ease his nerves, but from Jonathan’s expression it was evident that trying to keep his anxiety at bay would be fruitless.