“Well she does seem like a nice person, I like her, she’s a good girl, I can tell.”
I didn’t say anything else, I just sat there thinking about what my grandma had said, and after I finished my food, I went into the shower to wash up. I am not going to lie; I did feel a kind of way the way I left out on Willemena yesterday. I was just confused; I really didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with me. I mean I had a chick that was fucking me on the regular, holding me down and shit and here I am worried about this young chick. Life was fucking crazy; I definitely needed a blunt to smoke this one out. I got out, dressed in all white everything, brushed my waves, hopped in the whip and copped myself a bag of weed and I went to the park to smoke. I don’t know how long I sat there, hours maybe. I didn’t put anything in perspective; I was just high as fuck. As I pulled away from the park and started driving, I found myself parking in first of Kennedy High school, just about the same time that Willemena was coming out. I beeped my horn to get her attention as soon as I saw her come out of the door, and she looked up at me uninterested and kept on walking, at least she wasn’t walking with no nigga, I was happy about that, I thought to myself, as I slowly continued to follow her down the block, dam, she had a phatty too, I never noticed that before when she used to wear them sweats.. I rolled down the window, “Ayyo, Willemena, I am sorry about the shit I said to you the other day, can you please come over here and talk to me?”
She rolled her eyes, folded her arms, stopped and looked at me.
“Where did you get this car from Paper, Did you steal it?”
“No, I didn’t fucking steal it. Anyway, do you accept my apology?”
“I guess, Anyway I am just going to walk to the building and clear my head, I will see you when you get back.”
“Nah, hop in”, I said getting out and, walking over to the passenger’s side and opening the door for her. She just stood there.
“Do you trust me?” I asked her.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Then get in”, I said grabbing her book bag and throwing it in the back seat. We drove to the city parked and I purchased some tickets for the movie unfriended. I could tell that she was ok with what was going down, because she didn’t have any objections when we were standing at the concession stand buying popcorn and other junk food.
“I thought you were about the buy out the whole stand”, I joked with Willenmena, as we walked with our arms filled of snacks. I could feel my phone vibrating as we were walking in to the theatre so when we sat down, I check it and it was Tiffany. I sent her straight to voice mail. Like no more than ten minutes into the movie Tiffany kept calling me and calling me so I just turned off my fucking phone, after that I was able to concentrate and Willemena. Dam she smelled good too, and it wasn’t on no perfume shit, just her skin and hair. I wanted to put my arms around her and bring her closer but I didn’t want to come on too strong, so we just sat there and watched the movie. After the movie was over and we was walking to the car, the really wasn’t that ready to go back home,
“Aye yo Willemena, what do you feel like eating?”
“I don’t know it’s whatever,” she said putting on her seat belt.
I turned on my phone, “No I want you to make up your mind, and let me know, tonight is your night?”
She looked at me and half smirked, and my voice started going crazy with voice mail after voice mail and text after text from Tiffany. When my joint started ringing, I picked up.
“Aye yo Tiffany chill, I was about to call you.”
“Paper why haven’t you been answering your phone, I been calling you all day.”
“I had to do something for my grandmother, calm down.”
“Yo where the fuck are you? Bring back my car; I hope you ain’t got no bitches in my shit.”
“I thought you said I was good for a couple of days.”
“Nah, I need my shit back by tonight, I don’t like how you are acting, nit answering your phone and shit.”
“Whatever, bye,” I said hanging up, shorty was acting will wild right now, and I wasn’t having it.
“Who was that?” Willemena asked me, “Is that your girl?”
“No just some shorty.”
“Word? Just a shorty? Well she sounded mad to me.”
“Listen, I ain’t worried about her and you shouldn’t be either. Have you figured out what you wanted to eat?”
“We could really just get some McDonald’s. I am tired as fuck anyway.”
“McDonald’s it is then,” I said busting a uturn, we drove through the spot, got the food and started eating the shit in the car while we were parked.
We sat there in silence both in our own thoughts, eating our food. I could still feel my phone vibrating but I ain’t answer. After a while, Willemena turned and looked at me, “What made you come back and check on me, when I was out in the hallway?”
I stuffed a couple of French fries into my mouth for thought, “Because I was concerned about you,” I told her.
“Ok, but why?”
“I don’t know, maybe because you are beautiful.”
She blushed and looked away. “Where is your mother?” she asked.
“My mother died many years ago.” I really hoped she didn’t ask how because I wasn’t prepared to tell her, but she didn’t ask.
“Do you miss her?”
“Yeah I do, very much.”
“My father died”, she told me with a glazed looked in her eyes as she stared straight ahead. I stared at her and I couldn’t deny that she was the most beautiful chick that I ever saw, I moved a piece of hair out of her face and she let me, and then I held her hand and we just sat like that for a minute. I know I call myself a thug and shit, and holding hands with a chick ain’t really no thug type shit, but I guess shorty just bought out certain things in me. She made me feel calm and shit, I can’t explain. As we were driving home, I really felt good about how today went. Shit was real cool, I haven’t been out with a chick on no date shit in a minute, So a nigga not gonna lie, I enjoyed myself, But after we came back to the apartment and I gave my grandma a kiss and checked my phone, Tiffany had left all kinds of messages for me to bring her car back or she was going to report it stolen. I walked into the room where Willemena was and I sat back on the chair, “Yo I am gonna have to be out for a minute, this shorty wilding and I need to bring her whip back, But you good though right?”
“Yeah, I am good.”
“You know I had a good time with you today right?” I asked her looking into her eyes.
“I had fun too, Paper.”
“Aight, don’t stay up to late, though, I will be back.”
I got to Tiffany’s house in no time, the way I was speeding, and she was right outside on the porch waiting for me too. I pulled up, parked, and got out. I really didn’t have much words for her, but she had a lot for me though but not what I expected.
“Oh ok, I am glad you got my shit back to me nice and safely,” she said taking the keys from me. “So are you coming in, I ordered you some food?”
“Huh? What’s up with all of the threats you were texting my phone earlier though?” I questioned her.
“Paper, you wasn’t answering any of my calls and shit, and I don’t know, I just started spazzing. Look I am sorry.”
“Yo, I don’t know if you take me for one these lame ass long island niggas, but don’t you ever think that you can text my phone with some bullshit and expect shit to be cool. You got your shit back, so now I am out”, I said backing away from her.
“Paper come inside so we could talk about this please, I said I am sorry.”
I walked off, put on my beats headphones on and walked back to the train station. That bitch Tiffany was definitely getting the deuces because I wasn’t ever trying to fuck with her again.
When I got back home Willemena, was up waiting for me. “You really did come back this time,” She said,
I am not gonna lie shorty was really starting to get to me. She had her hair
in two braids, a tight wife beater, and panties on, curled up on my bed and my dick was starting to get hard, so I just decided to go back out into the living room and call it a night.
“Yo, I am about to lay it down, a nigga tired as fuck, I am going to see you in the morning. Don’t stay up too late”, I told her, and with that, I went outside in the living room, took off my jacket, sweater, jeans and shit and just laid on the couch in my boxer and t shirt. Just knowing that shorty was in the other room looking like that, had me feeling crazy, but I managed to doze off as I watched the shadows that the light from the T.V made from the other room, dance on the walls.
About a couple hours later, I was awaken by a kiss, Willemena had come into the living room, and was laying on top of me, the feel of her tongue, and the way that she was sucking on my bottom lip was crazy it almost felt like a dream and I couldn’t believe that she was actually right there in front of me. I took my hand and slide it up her thigh and I grabbed her ass, and it was soft and wobbly. Shit, shorty was laying her fat pussy right up on my dick; I could feel it was fat from the way it was poking out through the material. It was warm and moist, and she was moving around against me as she kissed me.
“Yo Willemena, I can’t right now, this shit ain’t right”, I whispered leaning up. I knew that was some dumb nigga shit, but my mind was just really gone now, and I didn’t really wanna just do shorty like that by just fucking her.
“Paper, what’s wrong with me? You don’t want me?”
“Yes, Shorty, I do, you are just too young, timing is off, I got a lot going on right now, it just ain’t working.”
“Yo if you don’t want me just say no, all those fucking excuses isn’t necessary.” She got up and I didn’t have to see her face in the dark to know that she was upset. She stormed off to my room, and closed the door, and I was just left in darkness. Shit did I just fuck up with shorty? But why couldn’t she just understand that I just wasn’t down to cross that boundary with her just yet. As I played the scene over and over in my head of what just happened, I couldn’t sleep and I was tossing and turning. Yo shorty got me tight, why wasn’t she just listen to me, I want her, but I just didn’t want to be a crab ass, snake ass nigga to her, I just respect her more than that. After about an hour, I got up and walked to the room, I turned the knob and it opened and I went it, and she was sleeping, she looked so beautiful but I needed to let her know how I felt about her, what a nigga was about to do, I ain’t never do to any other female in my life, but I guess this shorty just brought out something different inside of me. I stood at the bottom of the bed and I got under the covers and I kissed on her thighs, I moved the sheets and looked up at her, she woke up and looked down at me and I kissed her again, this time closer to her core, she moaned aloud.
“Shorty, I want you”, I said into her pussy and through her panties. I kissed her pussy again and I could feel her clit poking through the lace. She breathed out and grabbed my head, “I am sorry, and I need you”, I told her, “Do you need me?” I asked while moving her panties to the side and I dove in with my tongue to lap and nurse on that fat juicy wet clit. The way she was crying out, I had to grab my fat dick in my hand and stroke it while I was feasting on her sweet fat pussy. She shuddered and gave me nectar so sweet and warm, I now knew why my niggas always talked so much about eating pussy, she tasted so good that I pumped my dick feverishly and came so hard in my hand. I wanted so badly to stick my cock deep inside of her but I knew that the time wasn’t right. When I finished, I held her in my arms, and we feel asleep just like that, until morning time.
Choices
Willemena
“This picture right here is so funny,” I said pointing at a younger picture of Paper. He had to be about three years old and the cutest kid ever, his grandmother and I were sitting down looking at the family portraits, and I must admit, I couldn’t get enough of him. I stared closely at the woman that was holding him, it had to be his mother, she was beautiful and they had the same eyes. Looking at them made me miss my mother. I have been living with Paper and his grandmother for about three months now and I am not sure, but I think I am falling for him. Later on, when I was sitting in his room doing my homework, I was just thinking about everything that occurred between us. We were starting to get real close, did we fuck? No, but I want him to. I never had sex before but I just really feel like Paper’s the one because I feel like he cares about me. Will he fuck me? No, I guess he thinks that I am too young, but I will be eighteen in a couple of days, so I am hoping that things will change between us and he sees me differently. I know that I should really be focusing on school right now, but it’s really hard to deny how he is making me feel. My mother use to swear up and down that I have been with boys before, but Paper is the only one that really got me to that point where I am like ready to fuck with this nigga on some real serious shit. I put my pencil down when I heard the front door slam. It sound like Paper was home and I was happy and started putting my books away. When he got in the room, I could tell by his face that something wasn’t right.
“Yo why is the room always fucked up every time I come home? Why can’t you be more fucking cleaner?” He yelled at me.
He threw his coat on the chair, and I held the covers tighter around me. What the fuck was wrong with this nigga? I asked myself.
“I gotta clean up after you like you are some type of child or shit,” He said picking up items of clothing and throwing them in the closet.
Why the fuck was he talking to me this way? I thought to myself, I wanted to yell back at him, but I knew this wasn’t really him; something else had to be wrong.
“That’s probably why your mother threw ya dirty ass out in the first place.”
Whoa, did this dumb ass nigga just put my mother in it? “Yo Paper what the fuck is wrong with you and that isn’t the reason why she threw me out.”
“What eva, your young ass don’t know shit anyway.”
“And your unemployed ass don’t know shit either. Do you even have a diploma? Robbing ass nigga.” I don’t even know what made me keep going but I wasn’t going to sit here and let dude, just scream on me for no reason.
“Yeah, this uneducated mutherfucka should of left your little young dirty ass on those steps where you was at.”
I am not going to front that last blow hit real low, and I wiped a few stubborn tears that ran from my eyes, as I watched him walk out and into the living room. He didn’t even bother to take his clothes off; he just laid back on the couch and put his hat over his eyes. I watched him quietly from the room on the bed and wondered what was eating him. After a few minutes his phone rung and he answered it; I ear hustled.
“Listen yo, just give me some space until I could figure shit out. I don’t feel like talking about this shit right now. A nigga tired as fuck, Imma hit you up later.” He hung the phone up, and took his hat off and rubbed his head and temples. I decided to go out there and ask him what was wrong, fuck it.
“Paper are you good? What’s wrong?”
He was quiet and still as though he was contemplating whether to tell me or not, and then he exhaled.
“Some chick that I was fucking with named Tiffany is saying that she is pregnant.”
I was quiet as I let that sink in. So this nigga was fucking with someone all of this time, that’s was probably the real reason why he wasn’t trying to fuck with me. I fucking hated him at that moment, just when I started to like someone and I thought that everything was going good, his dumb ass goes and get someone pregnant.
“You’s a dumb ass nigga, you are jobless and now you go and have a baby on the way? Sounds like some fucked up shit to me.”
“Shut up and go to bed, nobody asked you nothing, you don’t even know anything with your preschool ass, and make sure you keep my fucking room clean or your ass will be getting kicked out for the second time.”
That night I went to bed crying, the words that he said really stung me. I don’t know why God hates me so much, my mother doesn’t
want me, and now the one person that I had that was there for me, will be gone as soon as his bitch has this baby. I know that he doesn’t even like me and he thinks I am too young for him. Maybe I am just cursed and no one will ever love and want me, I went to bed with a soaked pillow.
The next morning, I got up and got dressed early for school, I didn’t even make breakfast because I didn’t want to have to look at Paper’s disrespectful ass. I did make sure that I made the bed and made sure that his room was spotless before I left out. As I walked to the bus stop, the air was warm and you could tell that the season was changing, I opened my sweater when the bus finally came, and when I got a seat, I leaned my head against the window and watched the scenery go by in a blur, I was depressed and it felt like nothing really matter at this exact moment.
When I got to school, I immediately got sweep up in the crowd, as a sea of faces went in this direction and that, everywhere were posters about the upcoming spring fling dance, and that’s basically what everyone was talking about. Even Shawna and her wack ass crew couldn’t keep their mouths shut about it, I thought to myself as I passed them in the hallway, and heard bits and pieces of their convo. The bitch was so enthralled in what the next bitch was saying, that she didn’t even notice me. I am glad about that, because by the way I was feeling, if we got into a fight today, I probably would have ripped that bitch’s head from her shoulders. She’s one lucky bitch I thought to myself, as I cracked my knuckles. The day breezed by and before I knew it, the day was over and everyone was rushing for the front door to escape and get home, and take advantage of whatever sunlight that we had left. When I got through the doors, my instinct had me looking hopefully around for Paper but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. My heart felt like it dropped in the pit of my stomach and then I felt someone grab me from behind and I almost had a heart attack I was so startled, it was Jason. This nigga was looking extra good today too, I smiled.
“Give me your books, I am going to walk you home,” He said removing my backpack from my back, I let him and as we were walking, I lead him in the opposite direction,, “I live with my grandma now”, I lied.
Ain't no hitta like the one I got: part one Page 4