by Cathy Cole
Her eyes drifted further up the panelling. Scratched into a small space just beneath the wall lamp that lit their booth, she read the message MH & RW 4ever. Her heart twisted. Max Holmes had a funny sense of for ever. They had been so happy just a few weeks ago. It was all Eve’s fault that she and Max had gone wrong. Eve had dazzled him with her confidence and money, and he’d forgotten what he and Rhi had had together. How could she get Eve to leave Max alone? She wanted him back so desperately, she was afraid the whole café could read it in her eyes.
Someone was tapping the mic to get the room’s attention.
Ryan Jameson’s long brown hair flopped into his eyes as usual as he leaned in to the microphone on the stage. For as long as Rhi been coming to the Heartbeat Café, Ryan’s hair had been too long. Rhi guessed his parents were probably too busy running this place to remind him to get his hair cut.
“Right, so hi, everyone,” Ryan began. “Welcome to Open Mic Night.”
There were a few whoops at this.
“I want to introduce an exciting new talent to the stage tonight. Please give a warm Heartbeat welcome to… Brody Baxter!”
A tall blond guy came on to the stage holding a battered guitar. The guitar appeared to be covered in fruit stickers – the kind Rhi recognized from bananas and apples. It looked pretty cool. Rhi wondered if she could do something like that with Ruth’s guitar, then decided she couldn’t. In her heart, she still felt like she had her sister’s guitar on loan.
“Um, hey,” said Brody down the microphone. “How are you all?”
There was a loud cheer. Rhi noticed that girls all round the room had stopped what they were doing and were focusing all their attention on the stage. There was no doubt about it: Brody was hot. From their table near the stage, Rhi could see that his eyes were clear crystal blue, fringed with thick dark lashes. He tossed his long, sun-bleached locks out of his eyes and leaned over the neck of his guitar, tweaking the tuning pegs until the strings sang pure and mellow beneath his fingers.
“He’s cute,” said Lila.
“Hey,” Ollie objected.
“And I bet he doesn’t stand girls up on beaches,” Lila added.
Ollie looked sour. “How do you know?”
Brody leaned into the mic again. His voice was deep and a little hoarse.
“I’d like to sing something I wrote a while back. It’s called ‘Be With Me’.”
Rhi sat up, intrigued. She’d assumed this guy would sing cover songs like most of the acts who performed at the Heartbeat. You had to be a brave person to sing your own stuff in front of this crowd. Rhi thought about her own songbook, scrawled and scribbled until the pages had worn thin, tucked safely under her mattress. It was full of all the deeply private, personal things she had felt since Ruth died, and found herself only able to express in songs. She couldn’t imagine ever being brave enough to sing them in public.
“Be with me,” Brody sang. He closed his eyes so his lashes lay like dark feathers on his cheeks. “I know you’re hurt, dragged in the dirt, let me lift you in my arms and carry you from here, from all the hate and all the fear, be with me, be with me…”
Rhi felt like she was being transported into Brody’s soul.
“I feel your pain, I feel it too, kiss me again, know I’m with you, we’ll see it through… Be with me, be with me.”
He sang the words softly but certainly, holding the silent room in the palm of his hand. Tears pricked Rhi’s eyelids as he changed key with deft fingers, taking the song to an even deeper and more emotional plane.
“Be with me, lie with me, die with me, for ever… Be with me, lie with me, die with me, for ever…”
The closing chorus was taken up by half the crowd, who began to sing along. Rhi couldn’t have joined in if she had wanted to. Her throat was too choked.
“Be… with me,” Brody Baxter finished.
A perfect moment of silence hung over the room before the room rocked with applause. Rhi clapped until her hands hurt.
Brody played one called “Fast Lane Freak” next. It wasn’t about girls or parties or money. Instead it was the story of a guy living by the side of the road, eking out an existence from the things people threw from their car windows. “Trash and cash is all the same, everyone ride that gravy train, breathe the fumes and breathe the fame, I’m a fast lane freak, I ain’t ashamed, I ain’t ashamed…”
Rhi found herself laughing along with the rest of the room at the sly pokes about life in the modern world that Brody Baxter had put in his song. He was exactly the kind of singer/songwriter she wanted to be.
After two more songs, he gave a little bow. “More laters,” he said into the mic.
Applause crashed like thunder around the room.
“Wow,” Rhi said breathlessly as he headed off stage with a brief wave. She felt like she had been breathing stardust. “Don’t you think he was awesome?”
“He was OK,” said Max with a shrug.
Rhi felt a flash of annoyance on Brody’s behalf. Max said the dumbest things sometimes. How could she still feel so much for him?
“You should duet with him, Rhi,” said Lila suddenly. “I’m sure Ryan could fix you two up. Rhi sang this amazing set at a wedding we waitressed for last night,” she told the others before Rhi could stop her. “You should have heard her!”
Rhi could feel herself flushing. “It was just a one-off thing.”
Eve arched her eyebrows. “Since when do waitresses sing at weddings?” She couldn’t have sounded more patronizing if she tried.
“Since this weekend,” said Polly defiantly. “She even had a talent scout come up to her at the end and give her his card!”
Rhi had tucked Dave Dubois’s card into her jeans for good luck that morning. She’d taken it out several times today to look at it, in case it had magically turned blank in the night. She still didn’t know if she had the guts to ring him.
Eve rolled her eyes. “You are so naive. He was probably a sleaze with no connections at all. Or he gave Rhi his card just to be nice. No one gets spotted at weddings.”
Rhi was feeling more embarrassed by the moment.
“I’m going to get a drink,” she mumbled, standing up from the table and heading for the bar. She could feel her cheeks burning with humiliation. Eve was such a cow.
Ryan was behind the bar, fiddling with the espresso machine. Although he was in most of her classes, Rhi didn’t know him all that well. He tended to hang around the edges of their group, looking for a way in to their conversations. She wasn’t even sure who his real friends were.
“Hey,” he said, glancing up at her through his overlong fringe. “What can I get you?”
“A frappé please,” said Rhi. She glanced back at the table. Her friends were clearly still arguing about her. She caught Max’s eye and looked away quickly.
“Does Lila want anything?” Ryan asked. He rubbed his ear. “You know, like my heart on a plate?”
Ryan had clearly had a crush on Lila for weeks. Rhi had seen the way he looked over at their table in lunch break and hung around the lockers at the end of the day on the off-chance he’d bump into her.
“I don’t think so,” she said, smiling as kindly as she could.
“Love sucks,” Ryan sighed.
Rhi glanced back at Max. His arm was round Eve and he was whispering something in her ear. “Tell me about it,” she said drily.
The smell of freshly brewed espresso filled the air. “Unrequited for you too, huh?” Ryan asked with interest.
It’s more complicated than that, thought Rhi unhappily.
Watching Ryan blitz the ice for her frappé, she suddenly had an idea. If Max saw her buddying up to Ryan, he might get jealous and realize what he was missing. She wasn’t proud of the thought, but couldn’t ignore the opportunity.
She lowered her voice and leaned over the bar. �
��Do me a favour, will you?”
Ryan pushed her frappé towards her. “Name it.”
Rhi squirmed a little. She had to do it. Now.
“Act like I just said something really funny,” she said in slight desperation.
Ryan looked surprised. “Uh, why?”
Rhi risked a glance under her arm. Max was looking in their direction with a faint frown on his face. It was now or never.
“Just do it, would you?” she pleaded.
Ryan laughed loudly. Rhi tossed her hair, feeling a bit clumsy. She didn’t dare look back at Max again.
“You’re really pretty, you know,” said Ryan. He reached out a hand and tugged on one of Rhi’s dark curls. “You should make imaginary jokes more often.”
Rhi peeked back at their table. Max looked jealous, there was no doubt about it. He always got a little crease between his eyebrows when he was annoyed about something.
“Hey,” said Eve, tweaking Max’s nose for his attention.
Max broke eye contact with Rhi and smiled into Eve’s eyes. Eve’s eyes flickered towards Rhi as she planted a loud kiss on Max’s lips, making him laugh and pull her closer to him.
It looked as if Eve had won this particular battle.
With a sigh, Rhi pushed some change over the counter towards Ryan, picked up her frappé and headed back to the table. As she approached, Eve wriggled out from beneath Max’s arm and hopped on to the stage.
“Hey everyone,” she said sweetly down the microphone. “We have a real treat for you tonight. My best friend, Rhiannon Wills, is going to sing a duet with Brody Baxter. Everyone give it up!”
FOUR
Rhi stood paralysed as the whole room started clapping and cheering and standing on tiptoes to get a look at her. Brody had been pushed on to the stage with his guitar, and was shading his eyes to hunt out his surprise duet partner down on the café floor.
It was like the zombie wedding all over again, only worse. That had been singing to a room full of strangers. This would be singing to a room full of friends. It was too terrifying to think about.
“Don’t be shy now.” Tucking her long red hair back behind her ears, Eve leaned a little closer to the microphone. “She’s over there, folks. Let’s give her a hand up here.”
Rhi wanted to die as Eve smirked at her from the stage.
You’ve made your point, she wanted to shout as hands reached for her, pushing her towards the steps. I get it. Max is yours. Don’t make me do this…
But then she was up the steps, blinking in the bright lights, and Eve was back at the table among Rhi’s cheering friends, and Brody was smiling quizzically at her.
“You sing?” he said.
What was she supposed to say? Yes, in my bedroom? Once in a room full of zombies?
“I guess,” she whispered.
Brody strummed his fingers lightly across the guitar strings as the audience shouted “Duet!” at them both.
“I’m really sorry,” Rhi mumbled. This was the most humiliating thing that had ever happened to her. “It wasn’t my idea to crash your set. Eve can be… kind of forceful.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Brody replied. He considered her with an appreciative smile. “I’d love to sing a duet with the most beautiful girl in Heartside.”
Rhi felt as if she was blushing all over. He was even better-looking up close. His skin was tanned, and his eyes were like perfect sunlit pools of warm blue water. She couldn’t quite believe she was standing next to him on the stage. She felt as shy as if he were some rock star she’d had a crush on for years.
“So what’s it going to be?” Brody asked, raising his eyebrows.
Rhi swallowed. “Um, do you know ‘The One That Got Away’?”
Brody’s eyes flashed with interest. “Ready when you are.”
He plucked the opening notes on his guitar. Rhi looked at Max and Eve, sitting with their heads close together. Max got away, that’s for sure, she thought numbly.
She began to sing.
Brody kept pace with her on his guitar, plucking the strings as Rhi’s voice built towards the chorus. Then he lifted his head and joined in with the harmony.
Rhi felt a shock of wonder. The combination of sound was electric. As if somehow her voice had broken into two parts, pure and high at the top and soft and husky at the bottom. Emotion matched emotion, each note was perfectly balanced against the other.
There was a natural give and take as they sang. Somehow Rhi knew what Brody was going to do before he did it. She’d never experienced anything like it. The Heartbeat Café faded to nothing. It was just her, Brody and the song.
As she reached the last note, Rhi opened her eyes in a kind of daze. She had been drawing closer and closer to Brody over the one microphone they had been sharing until their faces were millimetres apart. She could feel the heat of him. She could almost touch his cheek with her lips.
Rhi turned her head towards Brody at the same moment he turned his towards hers. They stared at each other for a single long electric second. And all Rhi could think was:
I want to kiss him.
She jerked her head back, breaking the spell. She had let herself get carried away by the song. She hadn’t really been thinking of kissing Brody, had she? She could feel his eyes still on her.
A roar of applause swept across the room, breaking through her confused emotions. Lila had put two fingers in her mouth and was whistling. Ollie and Polly were both clapping hard, their hands held high above their heads. Eve looked put out that her stunt had backfired on her so spectacularly. And Max…
Her ex-boyfriend was staring at her with wide eyes like he’d never seen her before.
Rhi turned back to Brody. “Thanks,” she said wonderingly. “I enjoyed that.”
He smiled into her eyes. Rhi found herself wanting to dive into their clear blue depths. “I should thank you,” he said. “You can sing with me any time.” And he kissed her cheek.
The crowd was still applauding, drumming the floor with their feet and the tables with their hands. Laughing, Rhi raised her hands in appreciation. Her face felt like it would split in half from smiling too much. She hadn’t felt this alive in years.
She always felt that a part of her had died with Ruth after the car accident. Now for the first time she could feel that part of her blossoming back to life. Maybe it was time to put the past behind her. Maybe it was time to live again. To live properly this time. Not the way her parents wanted her to. The way she wanted.
Dave Dubois’s card crinkled in her pocket. With a rush of sudden resolve, Rhi decided to phone him. I’ll do it tonight, she thought. When I’ve worked up enough nerve I’ll call him and arrange to meet him. Could she really have a singing career? Based on the crowd’s reaction tonight, and the wedding’s reaction the previous day, maybe… just maybe she could. She had never dared let herself think that it was possible.
But now, for the first time, she saw a glimmer of hope.
FIVE
Rhi started to call Dave Dubois six times on Sunday. But each time she pulled out his card, her heart started racing, her palms started sweating and she could hardly see the keys on her phone, let alone press them in the right order. She could hardly remember anything about him now she came to think about it, other than his dusty top hat and crazy make-up. Eve was probably right. She was mad to think he might help her make a career in music. You’ll never be a singing star, she told herself. Reality didn’t allow for dreams like that to come true. She had more than enough to deal with as it was, with thoughts of her sister Ruth. And Max was breaking her heart every time she saw him with Eve. And her dad’s ongoing misery, and her mum… Rhi didn’t want to think about her mum. Every time they saw each other these days – which wasn’t often, as her mum seemed to work more hours than ever – they seemed to fight: about school, about Max, about sch
ool again. School was her mother’s favourite subject.
“No pain, no gain,” her mum was fond of saying. And, “Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.” Each time she heard those phrases, Rhi wanted to scream.
By the time the cold light filtered through her curtains on Monday morning, Rhi had almost convinced herself the whole weekend had been a dream. It was back to reality now. School, and homework, and long serious consideration of a realist career.
After a shower, Rhi pulled on her uniform, tightened her tie, straightened her skirt and tried to make her unruly hair lie flat and neat beneath her hairclips. She put a dab of mascara on because it was the only bit of make-up her mum wouldn’t notice. Ruth had got away with loads of make-up at school in London, she remembered. Lipgloss, mascara, blusher. Things were different now.
She was about to go downstairs for breakfast when she paused. Ruth’s guitar was looking at her, begging to be played. She sat down on the edge of her bed and carefully picked it up, strumming a few chords, trying to keep her hand loose so the strings would sing the way they had for Brody on Saturday night.
She put the guitar down abruptly. It felt as if Ruth was looking at her.
Crossing her room, Rhi picked up the photo from her dressing table. It showed her and Ruth with their mum and dad, laughing into the camera as they posed by the fountains in Trafalgar Square. They had asked a passing police officer to take it, Rhi remembered. A pigeon had landed on her dad’s head shortly before the police officer had snapped the picture – that was why they were all in fits of giggles. She could remember it as if it were yesterday. The smell of popcorn, the sound of the fountains and the passing London traffic, the great black lions at the foot of Nelson’s Column watching over them.