by Zoe Ashton
“And along came Oscar?” he asked, and a smile formed on his face.
“Along came Oscar … he offered my mom a job in his vineyard business. As his secretary. He had never been married before and very quickly fell in love with mom,” I explained and unwrapped the sandwiches on the table between us.
Damien was smiling; he was imagining the love story between Oscar and my mom in his head. I could see that he genuinely liked my parents.
“So yeah, they got married soon, and since then, Oscar’s been my dad. I don’t really remember my actual dad very well. Although everyone says he was a lot like me,” I told him, keeping my eyes on my lap. I didn’t know why I was telling him all this.
“You mean, he was moody and fiercely attractive?” Damien said, and I jerked my head up to look at him. He was smiling, and I couldn’t help but smile as well.
“Well, yeah, he was moody and had a short temper,” I admitted, and he laughed.
“I knew it. You had to get it from somewhere. I can’t picture Shelly losing her temper,” he told me, and I shook my head indulgently.
“Is that why you feel different, though?” he asked suddenly, and his voice dropped. I gulped and looked away from him, towards the vineyards.
“Maybe … yeah, different from my family. My dad was an artist; he was temperamental, and I feel like the only person in the world who was like me … I didn’t get to know,” I said, and I realized I had a catch in my throat. Damien remained silent for a few moments, and then he reached for my hand on the table.
“I understand,” he said, and I looked at him with my brows crossed.
“I lost my father at a very young age too. When I was six. I don’t remember him very well. And sometimes, I see this faraway look in my mother’s eyes because I remind her of him so much. She can’t deal with it,” he said, and I stared back at him.
“Are you close with her?” I asked him, and Damien shook his head.
“We never connected. Maybe it was my fault. I pushed her away as a child. And now she just … we only speak to each other on birthdays and Christmas maybe,” he replied and let go of my hand and sat back in his chair.
“I’m sorry, Damien,” I said to him, and he shook his head. His blue eyes had darkened, and he ran a dejected hand through his hair.
“Not your fault. My fault if anybody’s. I like to believe that she’s happy and I try not to think about it,” he said, and I saw that he was hurting. I was sorry now that I’d brought it up.
“My advice to you is that you shouldn’t push your family away. It’s not worth it, especially not when you have a family like this,” he said, looking back at me. He had a weak smile lingering on his face.
I nodded my head. I knew he was right.
“Sometimes I just feel like they don’t understand me. I revolted when I was a teenager. Dated all the wrong guys just to piss my mom off. She kept forgiving me, no matter what I did, and I got madder,” I said, and Damien continued staring at me.
“But you know better now,” he said in a quiet voice, and I gulped.
“I’m still lying to her. I didn’t need to make up this imaginary boyfriend. I could have just let it be,” I said, and he remained silent.
“I don’t know when I’ll get over it. This need to constantly try and provoke her, provoke them. I love Oscar; he’s an amazing father to all of us,” I tried to explain. The words were coming, tumbling out; he was actually listening to me. I didn’t know if it was the hangover or the sun, but suddenly I felt like I could tell him anything.
“I understand; this isn’t about Oscar. It’s about your anger for your father dying before you got to know him,” Damien said, and I nodded.
“You don’t need to pretend anymore, Mabel. The sooner you realize that, the better. You don’t need to pretend to be someone else. You can be truthful to your family, and they’ll still love you,” he said, and I stood up from my chair.
I walked around the table to him and stood over him. Damien turned his face up to look at me; his blue eyes were glittering in the sun. Without breaking eye contact, he reached for my hand. His fingers intertwined with mine and he tugged. When I felt the pressure of his hand pulling me, I sank to the ground, on my knees in front of him.
No words were exchanged. Damien simply leaned forward and cupped my face with his hands. Our eyes were boring into each other as he brought his face closer to me. I could feel his breath on my face; he was studying my eyes. My heart had started racing.
He kissed me, and our lips met with a sizzle. When I felt his lips on mine, I gasped. My arms wrapped instinctively around his neck as he lifted himself off the chair. We both tumbled onto the ground together, but our lips never pulled apart. We continued kissing, our breaths tangled up together, our bodies pressing up together.
My hands traveled up; my fingers weaved through his soft sandy hair while his hands lingered down, away from my face now. Damien pulled away from me suddenly, and my breathing was still ragged. I closed my eyes while his fingers delicately traced the length of my neck. He was over me; his wide chest covered my torso while his hips pinned my waist down.
He still had his eyes on me; I could sense him focused on my face, while his fingers found the soft skin between my collarbones. Damien gently lowered his face to lick it, and I arched my back; my belly met his, and I moaned. It was maddening how much I wanted him.
“Mabel,” he said suddenly, snapping me out of my thoughts. “I don’t want you to regret this later,” he said, and my eyes flew open. When my gaze met his, his eyes were narrowed. I pushed against his chest lightly, and he moved away from me.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you; I just don’t want you to regret doing this. Before we go any further, we should talk about it first,” he said, straightening himself up. I hurried up to my feet and stepped away from him. I could feel my cheeks burning, the back of my neck heating up. We had been moments away from ripping our clothes off each other, and he’d put a stop to it. Did he think I was trying to seduce him?
“I …” I said, still not able to formulate my words entirely. I wanted to tell him to go. I was ashamed of myself. Ashamed that he had pushed me away. What was I thinking? Why did I think that a guy like him could want me? I’d learned it the hard way already in high school.
“You don’t have to say anything. We both got carried away. We can talk about this if you want to,” he said, clenching his jaw.
“There is nothing to talk about,” I snapped, and I walked over to the chair to pick up my bag and sunglasses.
“That was stupid. This isn’t why you’re here. I’m going back to the house,” I said curtly while he pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He remained silent, watching me fret about.
“Mabel … I think we should just talk about it,” he said as I fixed the sunglasses back on my face. I didn’t want him to look into my eyes anymore.
“Please feel free to spend the day as you choose. You can leave if you want as well. You can ask Oscar to arrange for a cab to take you to the airport. I’m sorry, Damien, I’m sorry I got you tangled up in this. I wasn’t thinking straight,” I said, and without waiting for a response, I whipped away from him and hurried out of the gazebo.
Thankfully, he wasn’t following me. What reason did he have to follow me? He was just being nice. He was being attentive and polite, and I had mistaken that for something else. When he kissed me the first time in front of my family, it was an act. He was trying to play a part, and now I’d tried to do it for my own sake.
I was running through the vineyard towards the house. All I wanted to do was lock myself in my bedroom and go to sleep. The headache was returning, and I was starting to feel sick again. I should have known … being alone with Damien was a bad idea, because I was beginning to fall in love with a guy who was just playing the role of my boyfriend.
Chapter 14
Damien
I spent some time at the gazebo by myself after Mabel fled the scene. I needed to think about
what had just happened. This was supposed to be an easy getaway to Napa Valley. My job was to pretend to be her boyfriend to appease her family temporarily. Instead, I had ended up kissing her twice and making her hate me.
I was sure Mabel despised me now. The kiss had been inappropriate. We were having a friendly conversation, and she was finally opening up to me. When she walked over to me, I thought she wanted more. But clearly, it was a mistake.
I hadn’t planned on kissing her again, even though I wanted to the previous night when I could hear her breathe. This was not a date, but I could feel myself beginning to sink into her. I knew I wanted more than just to be with her physically, and I couldn’t remember the last time I felt like there was an actual chance of a relationship with a woman. What did that even mean?
I pulled my phone out of the pocket of my pants and switched it on. I’d kept it switched off since we left New York because I thought I wanted a weekend away from my usual life. Now, after Mabel had pushed me away, I felt like I missed home. I wished I could be back in New York in my own apartment and without these confusing emotions that were coursing through my veins.
I dialed a number before I could stop myself, and after a few rings, I heard her voice.
“Damien?” Alice said. On other occasions, I would have been excited to hear her voice. Alice was a sexy twenty-two-year-old who had interned at my agency for a few months. After she had left the position, she’d asked me out on a date, and I couldn’t say no. She had the perfect hourglass figure and a quirky blond bob. Alice wasn’t the kind of girl who shied away from asking for what she wanted. We’d slept together a few times till she thought our relationship was going somewhere.
“Hi. How are you?” I said, welcoming the distraction of her voice. Even though I was talking to her, I was still thinking about Mabel and our kiss.
“Where have you been? I’ve tried to call you like a million times,” Alice said, and I clenched my jaw. On other days, this statement would have annoyed me and yet today, I was happy that she was keeping me from thinking about Mabel.
“Sorry, my phone’s been switched off. I’m in Napa Valley,” I told her.
“Napa Valley? With who?” she asked, and I detected a pang of jealousy in her voice. This was good. Her jealousy was doing wonders for my ego after Mabel’s rejection.
“With a new friend,” I said, and Alice sighed.
“Are you seeing other people?” she asked and my brows crossed. That old familiar feeling of claustrophobia was back.
“We’ve talked about this before, Alice. We’re not exclusive, I am not ready for commitment,” I said to her.
“Then why have you called me?” she was quick to ask, and I fell silent. I wasn’t going to confess to her that I’d called because I wanted her to keep me occupied.
“I just thought I’d check up on you,” I said, and Alice sighed again.
“If you’re not ready for a commitment, Damien, you shouldn’t be calling me to check up on my wellbeing. That’s not how it works,” she snapped, and I bit down on my lip. Maybe giving it a shot with Alice wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Would it? When was the last time I’d really committed to a girl? Promised her that I wouldn’t be with anyone else while I was with her? The last time I could think of that happening was in high school. Since then, I’d made it very clear to every girl I dated that I wasn’t looking for anything serious. But Alice had a point. Why was I calling her if I didn’t need any emotional support from her?
“I don’t know what I want, Alice,” I blurted out, and her voice softened. She had detected my moral dilemma.
“Maybe we should talk about it, Damien. We’ve known each other for nearly six months now, and we’re good together,” she said, and I took in a deep breath.
“Maybe … yeah, maybe we should talk about it,” I said.
“When will you be back?” she asked me.
“Sunday night. We could meet for a drink the next day?” I suggested.
“Of course. Yeah, that sounds great. Monday night,” she agreed enthusiastically. Once I’d committed to a serious date where I was aware serious questions would be raised … I started to feel the walls closing in on me again.
“I should go now. Have a good weekend, Alice,” I said to her.
“You too, Damien. I miss you, you know, and I’m looking forward to Monday,” she said in a meek voice, and I cut the call. I couldn’t bear to hear her say another word.
I slid my phone back into my pocket and rubbed a hand over my face. I was anxious and felt closeted, even though I was out in the open in the middle of a beautiful vineyard. I knew I’d called Alice only because Mabel had so abruptly ended our kiss and run away from me. But I didn’t really know Mabel. She didn’t want me, and Alice did.
I was slowly starting to think that this decision to give Alice a chance might not be such a bad idea after all.
I decided to spend some more time at the vineyard before going back to the house, but I wasn’t going to take Mabel’s recommendation and leave Napa Valley just yet.
Chapter 15
Mabel
I stayed in bed in my room with the curtains drawn for several hours. I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss or what Damien was doing. He hadn’t returned to the room, and I couldn’t hear his voice in the house either. The only possibility that I could think of was that he had left already. Why would he not? I had driven him away. He was trying to be a good listener, and I had thrown myself at him. Only to push him away and ask him to leave.
Damien owed me nothing. He was basically a stranger. A random guy I’d found at my local gym and asked to accompany me in my deception of my family. I loathed myself for putting my family through this. I still couldn’t believe that he had even agreed to it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had already told my family the truth before leaving.
I couldn’t face them; I couldn’t face going out into the house and looking my mom or Oliver in the eye. My sisters would be disappointed and angry, and I would have upset everyone. For what? Just because I was too embarrassed to admit to my own family that I hadn’t found a loving, committed man yet?
And what about Damien? What was I thinking when I walked over to him? There was no doubt that he had to be one of the most handsome guys I knew personally. He was scorchingly hot and charming, but just because he was in my house didn’t give me a license to seduce him. I was embarrassed to think what he thought of me now.
There was a knock on my door, and my heart was racing. I hoped against hope that it wasn’t him.
“Come in,” I said meekly, and to my surprise, it was Oscar.
“Did I wake you?” he asked in his usual kindly voice, and I shook my head and wriggled out from under the covers.
He walked into the room and shut the door behind him.
“Are you unwell, Mabel?” he asked as he came closer to me. I had sat up in bed, and I shook my head.
“Just hungover, I guess,” I said to him, and Oscar sat down by my side on the bed.
“And there’s something else going on too, isn’t there?” he asked, and in the dim light in my room, I could see his eyes looking worried.
“Why do you think that?” I asked him, afraid now that everyone knew already. Damien had let the cat out of the bag.
“Just a feeling. I can see Damien walking around in the vineyards by himself, and you’re here pretending to sleep in the dark. I wanted to find out for myself so that your mother doesn’t worry,” he replied, and I remained silent.
I wished I could just confess and get the whole thing off my chest. I had never felt this guilty before, and Oscar had always been a good father to all of us. But I couldn’t; I didn’t want to see the look of disappointment in his eyes.
“Mabel?” he urged me when I hadn’t said anything for some time.
“Yeah, I suppose Damien, and I’ve hit a rough patch,” I admitted while tucking in stray strands of hair behind my ears. Oscar was looking at me with the same worried expression on his face. I coul
d see how fond he was of Damien, how he couldn’t bear to entertain the thought that something could go wrong between us.
“May I ask what’s wrong or is it too personal?” he said, and I stared at him.
Here was my chance to be honest with him. He would understand, and he’d know how to handle mom.
“It’s personal, Oscar. But, thank you for your concern,” I said to him, and he nodded his head. Oscar reached for my hand and patted it affectionately.
“You know, Mabel, whatever happens, and whatever you decide, your family will always be on your side,” he said, and I gulped. I suddenly felt like my lips were parched. The level of guilt in me was quickly rising.