‘Oh my God,’ Emma cries, pulling out her camera and taking a picture of it. She makes me stand in front of it for another picture and then we walk inside.
‘Rose,’ Heather greets me, appearing from nowhere and kissing me on both cheeks. ‘You look beautiful. It’s really early but there are already lots of people here and they all love your work,’ she hisses at breakneck speed into my ear. She greets Emma and John with efficient handshakes, recognising them from their painting and yanking them over to it so people can see them and the likeness I captured.
‘Your paintings are wonderful,’ Gloria says, taking Heather’s place and giving me a hug. I look over to the group she came from – the Talting contingent was early as expected and are all standing together in front of my painting that pays homage to our hometown. They turn to wave and smile at me. I might actually cry. Oh God, my eyeliner.
‘I think you’re wanted,’ she says, nodding at Heather, who is beckoning me over. I thank Gloria for coming and she waves me off.
I walk through the gallery looking at the walls, which now display my paintings. Hung up they look different, bigger and bolder somehow, the white walls making them stand out. A small card next to each reads ‘sold’. A table at the side is filled with drinks and snacks, and more people start coming through as I stand there trying not to pinch myself because I can’t actually take it all in. I watch as someone takes a photo of Emma and John beneath their painting, beaming proudly, and then I have to discreetly wipe a tear from my cheek.
‘Rose, let me introduce you to Peter Wells,’ Heather says, bringing over a man in his fifties wearing a dark suit. He looks vaguely familiar.
‘It’s a pleasure to meet you,’ he says, shaking my hand briskly. ‘I am a big fan, Miss Walker.’
‘Thank you so much.’
‘Peter runs a gallery in London,’ Heather says smoothly.
‘Oh, really?’
Peter smiles. ‘That’s right, and I have already told Heather I’d like to display one of these in the British painter collection I’m showing next year, if one of the buyers will lend it to me.’ He gives Heather a significant look.
‘I’ll think about it, Peter. Come and meet your buyers,’ Heather says to me. We say goodbye to Peter and she introduces me to the two people who have bought the other pieces, both of them art collectors who describe me as ‘up and coming’, which I quite like. It’s hard to believe this is all for me. I keep hearing praise and enthusiasm and find myself waiting for someone to shout, ‘Get out of here, you’re a fraud.’
But thankfully no one does.
‘Hello, trouble,’ a voice in my ear wakes me from my disbelieving haze.
‘Dan,’ I squeal, hugging him happily. ‘You actually came.’
‘Of course I did. I had to take credit for it, didn’t I? The whole gang is here too.’
I go over and give everyone who was with me on the retreat a hug, pretty overwhelmed that they came from all over the country to support me. Heather comes over then and Dan kisses her on both cheeks and she rolls her eyes at him. I watch him look at her greeting the rest of our group and he catches me.
‘What?’
‘Do I need to warn Heather about you?’
He sighs. ‘She already knows, she’s been dodging me for years. I must be losing my charm.’ I see a hint of real sadness in his eyes despite his jokey response.
‘She’s been hurt before,’ I say in a low voice. ‘You have to show her she can trust you.’ I wink. ‘And you better listen to me, I have an exhibition all about the heart, you know.’
He smiles and kisses me on the cheek. ‘I’m proud of you, kid.’
Halfway through the evening, Heather drags me to the middle of the room and clinks her glass for silence. All eyes turn to us to listen. I’ve never been so on show before and it’s totally alien but actually not unpleasant. Everyone is smiling at me and I feel much more relaxed now I know my work has gone down so well. I never thought I’d enjoy being the centre of attention but I’m having a great time.
‘First of all, thank you all for coming. This is probably the best attended exhibition I’ve had at the gallery, which is down to the talent of this young lady next to me but also the part she plays in her community.’ She nods to the Talting gang who all murmur in agreement. ‘I haven’t been this excited about an artist for a long time. She has grown so much in the short time I’ve known her, so I can only imagine what work she will produce in years to come. I’m sure her future will be extremely bright and I’m so grateful and proud that she is having her first exhibition here. So, ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses to the talented and lovely Rose Walker,’ Heather says, raising her own champagne glass and then clinking it against mine.
There’s a crashing sound behind us and everyone spins around to see Robert scrabbling about, trying to save two trays of canapés he’s just knocked out of a waiter’s hands. He stands up, face red, and his eyes meet mine. I bite my lip to keep from laughing. Just like that, the four months since I’ve seen him fade away and our eyes connect like it’s just the two of us here. He grins sheepishly at me then hurries to help the waiter pick things up, apologising profusely.
‘Rose,’ Heather says then, clearing her throat to bring back our attention. ‘Did you want to say anything?’ she asks quietly.
I nod and step forward and take a steadying breath.
‘I’ve never been very good at making speeches. I suppose I’m better at putting how I feel down on paper rather than saying it all out loud, but I just wanted to say thank you so much for coming tonight. I used to think my painting was really just for fun and I was never confident about what I created, but being here tonight, I finally realise that this is what I always wanted – people to see my work and enjoy it.’ I cast my eyes over the room. ‘There are three people that made tonight possible. Robert, who forced Heather to look at my work and let me believe I could do this; Dan for inspiring me to be the artist I always wanted to be, and Heather for being the best cheerleader of my work that I could have asked for.’ I glance at Robert, whose head is bent so I can’t see his eyes. A few of the Talting gang glance at Robert too, unsure if they should be speaking to him or not. Whatever he’s done, though, I would never have met Heather without him and I had to thank him for that. I see Dan raise his glass of champagne to me then I turn to Heather. ‘I might wake up and discover tonight is still just a dream, but in case it isn’t, thank you for making my dream come true.’
Heather gives me a big hug as the room starts clapping, then Emma rushes forward to hug me next. The next few minutes are a blur of hugging and kissing and congratulations and liberal toppings up of my champagne glass.
Finally, I manage to extract myself and search the room for Robert, who I haven’t seen since the toast. Whatever our personal relationship is at the moment, I’m glad he accepted my invitation tonight. If the only role he’s meant to play in my life is helping me grow as an artist then it’s a bloody brilliant one.
I glance outside and see him leaning against the wall outside the gallery.
‘Is that Robert?’ Dan asks, coming to stand beside me. I nod. He takes my champagne glass off me. ‘Go and talk to him, kid. Don’t regret anything, right?’
‘Thanks, Dan,’ I say, giving him a smile. I grab my coat and nod towards the side of the room. ‘No regrets, right?’ He follows my gaze to where Heather is and gives me a wink.
I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, but I can’t let Robert go without speaking to him.
Chapter Thirty-Five
‘Hey,’ I say, stepping down on to the pavement outside. I walk over and perch next to him on the wall, putting my hands in my pockets to keep the cold night air out.
‘Hey,’ he replies, glancing across at me. He’s wearing dark trousers, a grey shirt and skinny black tie and has that line of two-day stubbl
e outlining his chin that suits him so well. ‘Thanks for mentioning me in the speech,’ he adds lightly.
‘I was pretty annoyed when you first went to Heather, wasn’t I?’ I remember with a wry smile. ‘I meant it when I thanked you in there; you really gave me the push I didn’t know I needed.’
‘You would have got here eventually, you’re too talented not to be successful.’
His praise feels good and that confuses me.
‘Maybe. Maybe not.’ I swing my legs gently. I look down at the ground; it kind of hurts to look at him. ‘So, how have you been?’
Robert clears his throat nervously. ‘Actually, I quit my job.’
My head lifts sharply in his direction. ‘You did?’
‘I did. I told my dad I needed to do something else with my life. I don’t want to be my father’s pawn anymore.’
I try to absorb his words but my head suddenly feels all foggy. ‘That was brave,’ I tell him. My heart has inexplicably lifted at the thought of him leaving his old life. I wish it hadn’t. It’s too confusing. ‘How did he take it?’
Robert grimaces. ‘Not well. There was a huge row and he told me I’m not welcome at home anymore and he’s planning to disown me, but I stood my ground. I actually think in a weird way he respects me for it, not that he’ll ever admit it – he’s far too angry with me right now – but that doesn’t matter, I have to do this. I put my flat up for sale too. I never liked that place, it never felt like home to me.’
I let this news sink in. I’m amazed and impressed by what he’s done. ‘What will you do now, though?’
He shrugs. ‘I really don’t know but I feel relieved. I wasn’t happy.’ He turns to me. ‘You knew that before I did. I hadn’t wanted to face up to it, but I knew you were right.’
Hearing that my opinion had an effect on him gives my heart another lift. He played such a large part in making my dreams come true, and I wanted to do the same for him too. Knowing he’s broken free of his old world, one that destroyed so much, gives me some hope for us.
‘I suppose you made me see that every second in this life counts. Thank you.’ He reaches out and touches my hand and I’m shocked by the heat he can still send through my body. ‘I want to start making mine count.’
I let myself touch his hand back and his skin feels like an extension of mine. I wonder what it is about touch that can evoke so much. I remember his lips on mine, his arms around me, and his smile when he was above me. I swallow hard and look away from his eyes before I sink right into them and never come up for air again.
‘I might not get another chance to say this,’ he says then, his voice low and urgent. My breath catches. ‘I miss you, Rose. I think about you every day. I know that you need time, but I wanted to ask you something.’ He takes a deep breath and lets go of my hand like it hurts to keep touching it. My hand instantly feels the loss of his. ‘I want to get away and think about what I want to do, and to be honest Talting is the only place I’ve come close to being happy in for too many years. Would you mind if I booked into the Inn for Christmas? I can’t be with my family, I just can’t.’ He ends in a volume barely above a whisper. ‘I won’t, though, if it will make you unhappy. That’s the last thing that I want.’
I think about seeing him in town again over Christmas. I would like to see him there again. I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive him but I don’t want him to be alone over Christmas. ‘If you come, would you consider something?’
‘Anything.’
‘Would you consider meeting with Gloria and Graham, Lucas’s parents? I feel as if they deserve to hear everything from you.’
‘You’re right. Rose, I want to make things right between us. I am so sorry that I wasn’t honest with you about who I really was. And if I can help them in any way, then I want to try.’
‘Thank you.’
‘I should have left my father a hell of a long time ago. Maybe things could have been different now . . . but all I can do is make things different from now on.’
‘I’m proud of you.’
‘I’m proud of you.’ He nods towards the gallery. ‘Your paintings are so beautiful.’
‘I’ve painted out everything that was in my heart. I think it’s helped me to know how I feel and what I want to feel. And also who I want to be. Does that make any sense?’
He nods. ‘It does. I’m trying to find out who I want to be, and to become that man. I wish I could change everything that happened, go back and start again with it all.’ He looks out into the darkness, sadness in his eyes.
‘You can’t go back, none of us can, all we can do is keep moving forward. I’m glad you came tonight.’
He looks at me. ‘I’m glad you invited me.’
‘The painting of the heart with winter and summer, you inspired some of it,’ I tell him, wanting everything to be honest between us now.
Robert shakes his head. ‘I don’t think I deserve to have inspired that; it took my breath away.’ He touches my hand. ‘But I’m glad that I was in your heart, Rose. You haven’t left mine since I met you.’ He touches my hand again and then frowns, looking at it. I follow his gaze and realise he’s noticing my hand is empty of my rings. I lift up my necklace to show him where they now hang.
‘He’ll always be in your heart,’ he says softly, like he understands.
I nod. ‘Yes,’ I whisper, my throat constricting suddenly.
‘You are a beautiful person,’ he says. He lets go and steps off the wall. ‘I should let you get back inside, this is your night.’
‘You’re leaving?’ I realise I don’t want him to go. I think back to when our eyes met during my speech. I knew in that moment that I still had feelings for him.
‘Will you let me know when Gloria and Graham can see me? Will you be there too?’ I nod my answer. ‘Thank you for giving me this chance, Rose.’ He leans down and brushes my cheek with his lips. ‘Enjoy tonight, you really deserve it.’ He turns away and walks into the darkness. I stay there for a few minutes alone and look up at the clear dark sky shining with stars and I wonder how and why the universe chose to pull the two of us together. I don’t know what will happen at Christmas but I feel as if things aren’t finished between us. So much remains uncertain but I want to figure it out with him. That scares me but it also feels right. I can’t say goodbye to him. He hasn’t left my heart since we met.
I rise off the wall and slip back into the gallery. Emma is waiting for me by the door and passes me a glass of champagne.
‘Everything okay?’ She obviously saw us out there.
‘Yes. He wants to come to Talting for Christmas. He’s left his job, his flat, his family . . . He wants to make things right, I suppose. I don’t know. I told him he needs to speak to Gloria and Graham. I can’t lose them, Emma. If he’s going to stay, the town needs to accept him too, you know?’
‘I know. If you two are meant to be, it will work out. He came into your life for a reason.’ She smiles at me. ‘You seem happy and I’ve waited for a long time to see that in your eyes again.’
‘You too,’ I tell her. I look at my heart painting hanging above us. Robert helped to bring me back to life after losing Lucas. If I had a choice I would have chosen someone not connected to why I lost Lucas, but that’s the whole point of love, isn’t it? You don’t choose it. It chooses you.
Gloria and Graham come over then to say goodnight and all thoughts of Robert fade as the room empties and I say goodbyes to everyone who came to support me and watch the new owners of my paintings organise their deliveries with Heather. My heart swells with pride and as I walk out of the empty gallery with Emma and John, I feel on top of the world.
The excitement doesn’t fade when I climb into my bed in the early hours. Taylor curls up beside me and his purring is the only sound in the silence. I stroke him as I lie awake processing all that’
s happened. I almost feel like a different person now. I think about what I want for the future and I know it’s changed. It’s different to the future I had mapped out before, but I was forced to change it, and I’m going to embrace it because I can’t do anything else. Maybe life doesn’t always work out how you’ve planned, but you can turn it into something beautiful regardless.
I want someone who opens my heart. I want someone to push me to be the best that I can be. I want someone to bring out my passion. I want someone to inspire me.
But the same man would also be capable of ripping my heart in two. Before I was happy with a safe love. I knew that Lucas would never break my heart intentionally. And he never did. But my heart got broken regardless. Playing it safe just didn’t work. Life isn’t safe. Love isn’t safe, but that’s okay.
I know now that I can make it through pain to feel happiness again.
So even though I’m terrified about Robert coming back and how it might make me feel, and I’m worried about my heart breaking in the future and it being worse than the first time, I know that I want to have love in my life. I don’t know yet if it will be Robert, but I know that I want to follow my heart from now on, wherever it may lead me.
Chapter Thirty-Six
By the time Robert returns to town, winter has coated Talting with its silvery touch.
I let him in to the cottage and lead him through to the living room where Gloria and Graham are already seated, untouched cups of tea in front of them. I know we all need to do this if Robert will be staying here for Christmas, but it doesn’t make it any easier. It feels both awkward and tense as we sit opposite them. Even Taylor seems to feel it and heads upstairs to sleep away from us.
‘Thank you for meeting with me today,’ Robert begins, clearing his throat and running a hand through his hair. He leans forward on his knees then leans back again as if he doesn’t know quite where to put himself.
The Second Love of My Life Page 22