by Vance Huxley
As soon as Emmy took Gulab to find ababysitter, Ru started talking. “It was one of the Murphies, he said he was on guard and couldn’t get to the brothel. I’m not a gang woman. I said no so he threatened to hurt Gulab.” Ru looked decidedly apprehensive at the next bit. “I told him yes but in the kitchen where Gulab wouldn’t see. Then while he was dropping his pants...” Ru stopped and looked at the kitchen knife.
“You stuck that knife in the bastard. Fair enough. It won’t happen here because we don’t allow abuse or even foul language. In fact, if anyone threatens you, run and call for help or stick a knife in him yourself. I’d prefer him alive so we can kill the scroat publicly, it’s a better deterrent for the other visitors.” Harold stifled a smile at his next thought. “If Patty gets there first she’ll stick a crossbow bolt in him, but not to kill him immediately.”
The young woman stared, trying to see if Harold meant that. “Are you a real gangster? Someone said there weren’t any here.” Ru eyed up Harold’s weapons. She’d also seen the gate guards, heavily armed young men and women.
“Not a real one, but the others call me Soldier Boy.”
Ru’s eyes widened. “The Murphies talked about you! They didn’t want to upset you because you can shoot… Um. A gnat?”
“Possibly.” Harold smiled,making a quick decision. The Murphies were busy fighting Caddi, too busy to chase this woman. In any case, Harold had no treaty with them. “You can stay if you keep your trap shut about the knifing. I’m not supposed to take anyone running from a crime, even if we don’t think what you did is wrong. Nobody from the Murphies will look for you in Orchard Close, in case someone shoots their gnats.”
That raised a small smile. “I promise. I don’t think anybody saw what happened. I set fire to the house when I left, sothey might not even realise we aren’t all dead.”
Harold knew no gangster had seen her or Ru would be dead. She’d stabbed a gangster, stripped his weapons and coupons, packed her belongings and then set fire to the house? Harold wondered how long it would be before Ru joined Patty’s squad.The aluminium baseball bat she brought went into the armoury, but Ru kept the sheath knife as a Murphy deterrent.Noonecame asking about refugees; the Murphies were too busy trying to survive.
*
To help keep the new refugees safe, Harold took Patty away from training her squad to see Liz.On the way to the forge, Harold introduced the idea of a slimmer machete. Harold stressed the long sharp point for better stabbing, but Patty didn’t seem convinced. Twice during the short walk Harold had to swear this wasn’t an April Fool’s setup. There’d been an outbreak of pranks this morning, and not from the kids.
Once Liz let them in, she handed over the new machete. Patty hefted it a couple of times, unimpressed, so Harold took it off her and ran through a set of exercises meant for a sword. Patty took it back and ran through a set of machete exercises, added a couple of stabbing thrusts, and a huge grin spread over her face. “Oh no, not a new style machete. This is a super deluxe scroat-sticker. And from what I just saw, you know how to use it properly.” She practiced a couple more slashes and a thrust. “It feels odd, the balance is off or maybe just different.”
“But I can do something about the balance, unless you think learning how to handle the difference is the best way?” Liz watched intently whileHarold sat on the workbench, smiling at Patty acting like a kid with a new toy. The rifle or the squad seemed to have lit a fire in her, given her a surge of confidence.
“If you don’t mind altering it?” Patty swished and stabbed. “Could you make it a bit lighter, so I can wiggle it around like Harold just did? Maybe that’s the answer, it will feel right if I use it like Harold.I’ll still want enough weight for a slash or chop?” She frowned, inspecting the blade. “How does this work? If you cut too much off it can’t go back on.”
“If you want me to show you the moves, let me know. Otherwise I’ll leave you two together, because Liz assures me that her test version is designed to be redesigned.” Harold bowed to Liz.
Liz nodded, preening a little. “Because I’m the best. That one isn’t tempered, Patty, so I can do what you want with it. Despite the boring lack of artwork, Imade it just for you to ridicule.”
Patty swished the machete again. “I can do that. This will be just the thing to make the scroats remember their manners around my girls. My own personal version of April Fool’s, at any time of year.” Harold left the two of them taking turns at whacking and stabbing a piece of wood.
*
Her new scroat-sticker didn’t distract Patty from preparing the new home for her Demons. She chivvied any spare pair of hands into clearing rubble or collecting bricks for Casper, even including brick-carting as a strengthening exercise for her trainees. Over the next eight days,the pair of walls crept out from Orchard Close towards the six big houses.More and more residents, even if they’d already done their stint, found themselves press-ganged as more refugees turned up. At least half the current crop were Asian, which brought an entirely unexpected change.
When Harold walked into the canteen he didn’t expect to be met with,”What’s in this curry?” The GOFS wasn’t complaining, more like smiling and smacking his lips.
Harold went through to the kitchen and leant over to sniff at the pot.”Is there something different in this curry, Elizabeth?”
“That’ll be the spices from our new refugees. We’ve been testing them on visitors before we risk giving the residents Delhi belly. Today’s came from Ru,along with some tips on how to use them.” Elizabeth proffered a spoonful.
From the smell, Harold wasn’t risking that. He mixed it with a bit of rice but still gasped. “That’s a real tonsil toaster, different from the usual.Can we get any more?”
“I’ll keep an eye open. I’m still looking for rat poison to spice up any Hot Rod curry, but I promise to keep them separate.” From the look on her face Harold wasn’t sure if Elizabeth meant that, but he laughed as if she’d cracked a joke. She still hadn’t forgiven the Hot Rods for her lad dying, but wasn’t usually homicidal.
Harold asked about Ru, to find out where to get more spices. He’d have won one private bet because she’d already joined Patty’s squad. “That didn’t take long.”
The small woman turned, carefully keeping the crossbow aimed at the ground. “Oh. Is it all right? They said it was?”
“Don’t worry, I just sort of expected to find you here. As long as you’ll actually stick an arrow in some scroat if necessary, I’m a believer in everyone having a crossbow.” Going by the number of trainees practicing, Harold needed more crossbows.
“Really? Oh good. I don’t want the next banchodto get close enough for a knife.” The other Asian-looking trainees all nodded at that. Harold didn’t ask, especially since he was pretty sure he’d never repeat whatever it was accurately. Instead he asked about spices, and those were from West Bengal, because her parents came from there. Unfortunately, Ru had only brought what she snatched up in a hurry.
When he arrived home,Haroldwondered if he should have asked for a translation. “UncleHarold, Wills and Rory have a new word that I’m not allowed to say or I have to wash my mouth out with soap. Not spam, real soap.” Daisy waited, poised, but Harold wasn’t asking so she reverted to drawing. This time her ship had crashed at night and needed Uncle Harold to draw the Red Cross Bat. She did consider the Red Cross Orca or Squid for the cat-pirates in the water, so the school must be teaching about sea life again.
The new words, only a few, came from little Gulab.The teachers taught her English, or rather they improved what she had, but the youngster occasionally reverted to the mixture spoken in her street. June, the ex-trophy-wife-turned-teacher, hadn’t known what the foreign words meant, but the context of some led to her asking. An embarrassed Ru explained, whereupon several went onto the soapy mouth list.
*
The numbers of crossbow trainees he spotted in the next few days sent Harold looking for Patty. “Patty, can you spare a moment fro
m beating your squad into shape?”
“We’re in shape.Look!” Fergie posed with her wooden machete and stick, but Harold didn’t comment on her shorts. Several of the young women were wearing shorts or shorter skirts now and then since Mercedes visited. “She’s just beating on us for no reason. Help, help.”
“As you can see, they can manage without me for a while.” Patty passed her wooden machete to a trainee.”You can beat on each other while I’m gone.”She started down the road with Harold, her smile growing as they moved out of earshot. “More rifle practice?”
“Sorry, no. How many have you recruited now?”
Patty frowned, thinking about it. “Thirty-six, but there’s more want to have a go. Some are men but most are women. I haven’t put them all in the squad yet.They have to reach a certain standard first, with crossbows and machete sparring.”
“I want to split them, to give Doll a squad, then we can move yours into the new housing once it’s habitable.” Harold explained about how primitive the conditions still were, but Patty wasn’t bothered. “Liz thinks Doll is ready, what do you reckon?”
“She’s chewing her nails down to her knuckles because she’s bored, Harold. That’s why she keeps taking a stint at the gate.” Patty glanced back towards where the mainly female trainees were still beating on each other. “We’ll get more blokes volunteering for guard duty.”
“You seem to have plenty of fans.”
“Not as many as a definitely younger, much livelier blonde.” That idea didn’t seem to bother Patty. “I’ll take the women who aren’t looking for a bloke, because they won’t mind sharing a house in the Annex. Possibly two houses if more volunteer.”
“Your own girl club? The Annex?”
“Those six big housesis a bit cumbersome for a name so yes, the Annex.” Patty looked over at the six houses. “I don’t mind moving out there because I’ll besurrounded by fields, so if a deer turns up, pow.”
“Luck with that.” They both laughed because there’d never been a second deer. “Since you’ve already decided how to split them, you can come with me while I make it official with Doll.” Harold stopped for a moment, frowning as he realised. “Now I’ll need even more crossbows. There’ll be another squad on guard, and they’ll need weapons, so there won’t be many left over for practice.”
“Let’s hope the Geeks need more knitting.” Patty smirked and rubbed thumb and forefinger together. “I charge them and the Hot Rods extra.”
Both Liz and Patty were right about Doll being fed up and ready for a challenge. As soon as Doll realised that Harold wasn’t joking, she lit up and more or less exploded in sheer excitement. Harold left her in a deep discussion with Patty about who to transfer, and how to share out the weapons yet leave some for practice. He wondered what Orchard Close had to sell that would buy crossbows. He had some coupons saved from gun repairs, but wanted to keep them for a true emergency.
*
Doll took over Patty’s section of the wall around Orchard Close, which allowed Patty’s squad to spend all their spare time furnishing and fortifying their new home. The eighteen single women split into three shifts to ensure the new housing wasn’t left unguarded, which also meant they could work on their new home while on duty.
The houses were definitely going to be needed, because as April progressed, the refugee numbers escalated. When the gate guard called him,Harold headed forthe Embassy, curious about why he’d been called to these refugees. These days, the guards and Coven usually processed newcomers. The new arrivals camealone or in pairs, so he hopedthis trio were an exception and not a new trend.Few houses in Orchard Close had any spare room left, not even a couch, and the new houses still weren’t fit to live in.
Harold,resplendent in his Soldier Boy weaponry, waited in the EmbassyuntilPatty brought in the young women. She pointed at Harold. “That’s him, Soldier Boy. Now remember what I said, just tell the truth.” She put two aluminium baseball bats, three sheath knives with the belts and a good quality machete on the floor next to Harold. “They came with these.”
Harold didn’t need to ask anything. “We’ve run away from the Murphies. Will you give us sanctuary?” The one who spoke seemed a little more confident than her two companions. “We brought those to buy our way into here,into Orchard Close.”
“You can have sanctuary without paying.Where did you get the weapons?” Harold wondered because even the confident womanlooked nervous and unsure, definitely not a fighter.
“Some of the Murphy men were laid in the street this morning with their ears missing, and these weapons were laid next to them.” She glanced at the other two women. “The ears thing means the Hot Rods are coming, so anyone who doesn’t fancy living under those lunatics should get out if possible.It’s all rumours but everyone says we should bring a buy-in, weapons if possible. There’s supposed to be women here who kill gangsters.”
Harold chuckled and pointed at Patty. “You can believe that part. This is Patty. Later you can meet her disciples, who all want tokill gangsters. Take them away for a beer please, Patty. Explain about scroats and caning, thenissue them with these knives.” He knew Patty would get any useful information out of them over a pint, more than they’d tell the gang boss. In any case, Harold needed a few minutes to think. Presumably Mercedes had killed those men because she collected ears,butaccording to the Hot Rods, Mercedes brought anydecent weapons back with her. Harold wondered if Caddi had sent other attackers in to cut off ears, just to spread alarm and despondency.
He’d barely put the weapons into the armoury when Patty came back up the street. “You need the three witches, Harold.” She meant a meeting with some of the Coven, and probably Casper and other squad leaders.
“Do we need Emmy?” Harold preferred not to drag Emmy away from Tammy and haranguing the gardeners, her gnomes, because both seemed to make her happy.
“No, I’ll tell her later.” Patty looked decidedly mischievous. “I’d say get Alfie but Hazel would kill me. She’s finally got him cornered. Ah, forget I said that.” Harold had thought Alfie was now chasing Veronica, but as usual he hadn’t a clue. Hazel still alternated between calling him Uncle Harold and berating him for frightening boys away.
“Why, I don’t say anything about who Hazel sees, not now she’s grown up and moved into the girl club.” Harold paused as Patty shook her head. “I don’t!”
“Maybe not, but you definitely get that Uncle Harold look if you see her larking about with one of the lads.” An embarrassed Harold promised he wouldn’t do it again, hoping he could figure out what look Patty meant. Patty didn’t seem completely convinced. “Hmm. If you start again I’ll tell Liz and your new wench.” Patty’s eyes lit up. “Both of your wenches.”
“Don’t. Tessa is a friend.” Now Harold wished they’d stuck to talking about Hazel. Even worrying about hordes of new refugees would be a relief.
“But all those new women have come in, and you picked her name as a possible wench.” Patty put on a bit more speed, almost trotting. “Come on, let’s round up some folk because we might have to build bigger and faster.” They rounded up Tessa, Liz, Casper and June, and descended on Sharyn.
“Sorry sis. Coven plus meeting, or so Patty tells me.” Harold bowed to give Patty the floor.
“The three latest arrivals found bodies on the street this morning.” Patty recapped for everyone but Harold. “A beer and being allowed to carry a knifeloosened their mouths.We might have a problem.” She nodded towards Harold. “His other wench is sending presents, but not choccies and flowers.She’s sending clubs and machetes.”
Sharyn looked from Patty to Harold, puzzled. “That does seem more her style, but how is Mercedes sending them?”
“Not tied up with a ribbon. She’s spreading rumours, and from today’s example might be getting careless about stripping bodies. The Murphy streets are alive with rumours about this place, Orchard Close. They stress that lover-boy here is mucho scary to Hot Rods and Murphies, but a pussy-cat to his own
people.” Patty looked Harold up and down and shook her head. “The Murphies reckon Soldier Boyis bad news,which seems to mean the rest has become gospel. If anyone, man, woman or child, gets out before the Hot Rods arrive, they can find safety here. There’s even directions. Go over the Barbie border and head into the sunrise to the bypass. Keep hidden in the ruins until they reach the fields then come straight across them,out in the open.”
“Which takes them through GOFS territory but avoids Caddi’s men. That’s bloody specific. They’re still risking the Barbies and GOFS butthat wouldn’t be too bad, going by what we heard when we sorted out the refugees from the General.” Harold switched to the other bit that puzzled him. “What about the buy-in part?”
“The rumours tell them to bring weapons or whatevertools they’ve saved, and that anyone with a skill can earn plenty of coupons.” Patty patted her machete. “Allegedly there’s women here who kill gangsters with guns and crossbows. A few rumours are a bit over the top, likethe one about every woman carrying a gun.”
“Rumours tend to grow. That one probably started because we all carry knives.” Real alarm showed on Liz’s face as she thought it through. “Cripes, Harold, start building. You’ll get snowed under if Caddi wins, and a lot of them will have trades or be women.” Her face cleared and she looked round with a big smile. “On the bright side, they’ll be armed women.”
“I thought there was nothing between you and this Mercedes.” Casper’s face also broke into a big smile. “There again, she is sending you other women. Maybe it’s so you’ll leave her alone?”
Harold smiled right back. “You shouldn’t be so happy.We need those walls built and windows properly bricked sharpish, and you’re our bricklayer.”
“Cripes, Harold, all I’ve done is build loose brick wall.” Casper shook his head, looking definitely worried. “About a thousand miles of it by now I suppose,all round Orchard Close, and if I’d had cement they’d be a real wall. If I’ll be doing a lot, I should have a proper trowel instead of a spatula.” The rest broke up laughing. Casper used a metal spatula for spreading mortar on bricks, on the rare occasions he used any,because there wasn’t a trowel in Orchard Close.