“Yeah, we need a meet with a senior Royal.”
Chapter 40: Jimmy’s bones
Well, this is pretty cool. Numbers 1 and 2 in the royal pecking order were a bit on the busy side, what with official duties and all. But we get to meet with a young no.3. He’s balding a bit, like his father, but he’s still pretty distinguished looking, maybe a bit hot, well, totally hot. His cousin, who we’d met before, is with him.
By prior arrangement we arrived at the Sandringham estate. Some of the royal coven’s protection runes were lifted from one area near a private garden so that we could arrive unobserved. This was to be a very clandestine meet. We’d brought Susan and Gil along with us. We’d tried to bring Teddy too, but he said he couldn’t, it was too close to interfering. Ficketty fecking angels.
There were all sorts of security around when we arrived. Lots and lots of suits hiding here and there. I’m pretty sure they weren’t there to protect us. Gil’s Raven was the official meet and greeter when we came out of the tool shed that the magikal path led us to. There was an awkward moment when we first arrived when Gil went up to the Raven. What’s his name? Jonathon, that’s it. He didn’t react at first, being all business like and stuff, but good sense got the better of him and he gave Gil a quick peck on the cheek.
I could tell he was a bit embarrassed by it, but Gil was over the moon. It was just the sort of public admission that girls love. “Hey, hun. If you could all follow me, please.”
He led us into Sandringham house, away from the public areas and to what I imagine might have been a small state reception room. The ceiling was incredibly high, and there were garish paintings lining the burgundy silk that covered the walls. The Royals were waiting for us there behind an ornate wooden desk that could almost have doubled for a board room meeting table, and there were a half dozen Ravens subtly lining the walls of the room as well. Pulania and I both eyed them off. Fine, they didn’t trust us, but we didn’t necessarily trust them either. Both Pulania and I had our knives holstered to our legs, we hadn’t agreed to coming unarmed, our argument being that this wasn’t neutral territory.
“Welcome to Sandringham.” Jonathon closed the doors behind us as his Royal Highness rose to greet us. We all did our best impression of a curtsy (Gil had tried to teach us). They weren’t perfect but the effort seemed to be appreciated.
“Please take a seat. We have much to discuss, we only have Fae guards here, so you may speak freely,” he continued. “My cousin has told us about her meeting with you on New Bond Street. I see it is true that one of you has wings.”
Damn, I’m trying to learn how to keep that a bit more subtle, when we go to Imbolc I don’t want anyone from our coven noticing the wings. “I’m Amura,” I reply. “This is Gil, my familiar.”
“Yes, we’ve met Gil.” They smile toward her. Well, of course they have, silly me, she set this thing up so of course he’d already have met her.
“This is Susan, and my mother, Pulania.”
“Ahh, the Daughter of Dust. Is it true that you’re the original Pulania, the one mentioned in the covenant?”
“Yes, I am.”
“But how is that possible?” he asks.
“I’m a daughter of Gaea,” Pulania answers, she’s not holding back, we decided before coming that only the truth was going to work here. “Do you know what that is?”
He’s nodding his head, “I know the lore. A daughter of Gaea is a test for the world brought about by a white coven.”
“Yes,” Pulania explains. “I was born during the turmoil of the Dark Ages, my coven believed that the fall of the old empire and the barbarity that followed was a molestation of the Earth, so I was called into being.”
“And, you have a daughter, so the test was successful. The world will not be destroyed with your death.” He’s smiling, he thinks the risk has been averted.
“No, the world won’t be destroyed because of me.” Pulania’s shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “But Susan here is my sister, she has only recently been brought into the world.”
The two Royals are exchanging looks. I wonder if they can think to each other.
“That’s a bit worrying,” he finally manages.
“Yes, it’s why we’re here, we need your help.”
He’s being very sombre, and isn’t really reacting.
Pulania sits back and waits, and so do I.
“Ahh,” Gil puts up her hand, “end of the world stuff, don’t want to die…” she pleads.
Okay, we’ll let her do that, but Pulania and I have this aloof thing going.
“What is it you need? I think this matter is grave enough that I can speak for the family and pledge our service to protecting the daughter of Gaea.”
Well, that’s good.
“The situation we’re facing is a little delicate,” Pulania begins. “There are members of our own coven who are trying to kill Susan.”
“Your coven is a dark coven, is it not?” he asks, looking to his cousin for confirmation of the story she would have told him.
“Yes,” Pulania replies. “But Susan is being protected under the covenant. We had tried to keep her origin secret from the other members, but at least one member of the coven has discovered who she is, and for reasons we don’t understand, is trying to kill her.”
“We’re looking to confront those of our coven who want Susan dead, but we don’t know how many there are,” I add. “The celebration of Imbolc is soon, all the coven will be there. It will be the place to find out who we’re up against.”
“Do you want us to be there at your Imbolc celebration?” He’s baulking at that, I hope Pulania has an answer.
“Not unless you wish to be. I was hoping we could make use of some of your Ravens though, or a few other guards not worried by Fae like happenings, a few guns with silver lined bullets would go a long way toward ensuring we have an edge.”
He’s nodding his head, that’s good. “We might be able to help along those lines.”
Then something occurs to me. “Umm, there is something you should know about our Imbolc celebration.”
Pulania looks sharply at me, and then her eyes go wide as she realises what I mean. “Ummm, yes, it’s actually quite embarrassing.”
“Oh, and what would that be?”
“Mmm, you know that ancestor of yours, James IV of Scotland?” I ask.
“Yessss.” He draws out his answer in some sort of dread anticipation.
“You know how his body disappeared after the Battle of Flodden? Well it could be that our coven recovered it to hide it from the English, he was a well thought of King, even amongst the covens. But when the witch burner, James VI died their bodies were switched.”
“What?”
“Umm, yeah. I think it was thought that James IV deserved a descent send off, but James VI didn’t. Now James VI bits and pieces get brought out every year at the Imbolc celebration for us to play with. There’s a ceremony and everything, it’s a bit of a tradition. I think they only used his head as a bowling ball for the first couple of years, after all the flesh had fallen off they made a cool looking skull chalice out of it.”
“It really imparts something to red wine,” Pulania adds “I think a bit of calcium leeches out when it’s used. Or maybe it’s the blood that it sometimes gets used for. Oh, and it might be that his other bones get tossed about a bit, used to stir some of the punch, for instance.”
“And knuckle bones is so much better when you have actual Royal knuckles to play with. I always loved playing with Jimmy’s knuckles at Imbolc when I was a kid.”
“Yeah, and his thigh bones make great mallets for the croquet match.” Pulania and I are getting right into reminiscing about past Imbolcs. “Oh, I wonder if Hatchesput really did keep that rib bone as a back scratcher last year, she said it was just the right shape and length…”
“Guys.” We turn to Gil, who nods toward the two Royals. Pulania and I had floated off into our own conversation, but looking over at the other s
ide of the desk there are two open jaws looking at us in utter shock. They were probably a bit surprised by the way we treated their ancestor Jimmy’s bones.
“Just thought you should let your men know so it wouldn’t be too much of a surprise on the night,” I shrug. “Dark coven, remember.”
Chapter 41: Holy shizz
The Imbolc celebration is always held at Edinburgh castle, that didn’t go down too well either when we mentioned that. It hadn’t been a Royal residence since the Union of the Crowns when James VI had deserted Scotland, but I guess the idea of a dark coven dancing with a King’s bones at an ancestral residence was a bit of a wakeup call as to how the other Fae view the Royals.
It wasn’t the smoothest of meetings, but they stood by their offer of help.
“Susan can’t go with you.”
“Yes, Master, whatever you say, Master.” I slash at his side with the practise knife I’m using. He bleeds for a second before he heals up flipping away from me. I would have used my obsidian blade, but he says it’s too uncomfortable being stabbed by it.
“Look, I’m serious.”
“Yes, I know you are, but we’ve already got that sorted. She’ll stay here with Ardan, oh, and I guess with you.” And I eye Teddy up with a disparaging look. “They’ll be safe enough here, the house is protected by Gaea’s spells. We’re going to cast a compulsion on Gil, she’ll look just like Susan,” I continue.
But he’s grimacing. “I don’t think you should do that either. She’s just a familiar; she doesn’t have a lot of protection. She’ll be a target.”
“We’re going to teach her some knife skills, she’ll be armed.” And I come at Teddy again, though this time he easily dodges to the side, flipping away with his wings.
We’re actually out in the backyard, I’m still annoyed with Teddy, but I guess I’m letting him help me with my battle technique. I’m trying to get used to using these wings for fighting, I’m sure I’m going to need them, maybe at Imbolc. There’s a few tricks to them, they’re not really in this world most of the time, but with the right emotion or the right turn of my body they can momentarily be ‘real’. He’s also taught me how to hide them from others when I don’t want them to be seen.
“Hmm, you’ve had years to work with knives, a few quick lessons isn’t going to help Gil that much.”
“It’s better than nothing.”
He’s nodding at that. “There might be another way.”
“Oh?” I’m looking at him expectantly, but he’s not saying anything. “Oh, it’s another one of those… I can’t tell you because I’m an angel things. Isn’t it?”
He puts on this goofy look and just shrugs. I do a shoulder flip about twenty feet into the air and tear through a couple of invisible assailants with my knife.
“Oh joy, how am I going to figure this one out?” I ask him, landing back where I’d been having killed two never were enemies. I stare at him for a bit, I’ve never been good at puzzles. “A little bit of help wouldn’t hurt.”
“Well, she should fight to her strengths. I can tell you this, she already has a fighting skill.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, and she’s pretty good at it.”
Oh, now that’s got me curious. “I wonder if I can call her out here.”
As it turns out, I can, but maybe I’m too good at that, as everyone but Ardan (probably playing video games) comes out to the back.
“You called, oh mistress of darkness.” Good one, Gil.
“Hey Gil, we have to play twenty questions. Apparently you have some awesome fighting skill that we don’t know about, and Teddy angel can’t say what it is.”
“I’ve probably overstepped what I should have said already,” Master adds.
“Humph.” He’s never any help. “Have you got awesome knife skills?”
Gil shakes her head.
“Can you use a staff or a sword?”
“Nope.”
“Do you know what Master’s talking about at all?”
“Not a clue.”
Think Amura, think. “Ah, you’re American, you must know how to shoot.”
Gil splutters with laughter. “Why would you think that?”
“All Americans have guns.”
“We don’t have any guns at home.”
“Really?” I ask.
“Only water pistols. I’m a dab hand when it comes to a water pistol fight.”
Master just straightened up in a way that’s definitely meant to draw attention.
“Really? Water pistol fights with her little brothers qualifies as a great fighting skill?” He’s not serious, is he?
“I always win,” Gil shrugs.
“Holy shizz, how is water pistol fighting…” what, he’s just straightened again. This is like playing charades or something. “What did I just say that got your interest, Mr. Master?”
“Water pistol fighting.” No reaction.
“Holy shizz.” He stiffens again.
“Shizz?” No reaction.
“Holy?” He stiffens again, and there’s a twinge of a smile. Oh the bastard is enjoying this.
“Are angels always this infuriating?” I ask Pulania.
“Always, by the way, don’t forget, we have an appointment to see your father later today.” There was a noteworthy cringe from Master when Pulania said that. I’m wondering what words my father has had with him.
“Holy water,” Susan says, and we all turn to look at her. Oh. Is that what he’s been trying to tell us? It seems she’s not so silly after all.
“She’s got it.” Master confirms.
But Pulania and I are cringing now. “We can’t do that, it wouldn’t be… right.”
“Yeah,” I agree, “if she accidentally got any of that stuff on us, well, it would burn right through us, it’s worse than acid for us.” Even the very thought of Holy water is making Pulania and I uncomfortable.
“I don’t think so,” Master disagrees. “I think the two of you have just enough light in you that it’s not going to harm you.”
Pulania and I are looking uneasily at Master. We’re very dubious.
“Want to test it?” he asks, and from a fold of his jacket he brings out a small vial of water.
Pulania and I take a step back.
“Just a drop, that’s all it’s going to take to see if it will harm you.” He raises his eyebrows in question toward us. “Which one of you is willing to take one for the team?”
I look at Pulania, and then grimace as I take a step forward holding out my hand. “Just a drop, and nowhere where it’s going to show.”
He takes the top from the vial and holds my hand, then before I can wrench my hand back, he tips most of the vial onto my arm. My skin is crawling like you wouldn’t believe, it’s uncomfortable as hell, but it’s not burning. Pulania had actually taken a step back, I could see the fear in her eyes. Looking at my arm there’s a definite redness about it.
“I’m washing this off.” Okay, he’s made his point, but I’m heading to the kitchen to find the tap.
“Your turn, Pulania.” I hear him say as I retreat to the house. The bastard is enjoying this far too much.
A minute or two later as I’m rinsing my arm under the tap, Pulania comes up to me. “Move over.” And she puts her arm under the water. We both have a reddish welt where Master had dunked our arms.
Master comes up behind us with Gil in tow. “You knew what would happen, didn’t you?” I accuse him.
“Yeah,” he smirks, “I did. But hey, arm Gil with Holy water pistols. It’ll work.”
“Humph, and where would we get enough Holy water for that?” I ask him.
“Well, I can organise that, I’ve gotta be good for something around here.”
“Not wrong there, buddy. But okay, Holy water pistols it is.”
Gil just high fived Master.
Chapter 42: White boards
“Do you see him yet?”
“No, not yet,” I answer for the third time
in two minutes.
Pulania checks the time on her cell phone again. Samael actually has about five more minutes before her deadline. We’ve set ourselves up in the ‘drawing room’ which we’ve euphemistically renamed the once torture chamber, once library. We have a white board with a marker ready for some drawing, hence the ‘drawing room’. The two of us are waiting on one of Pulania’s comfy sofas. I’m using the time to play angry birds. We’ve been here for a good ten minutes and Pulania is pretty nervous.
“I mean, we haven’t been together for more than a thousand years. I’ve had other men in the meantime, I hope he doesn’t mind. I’ve got needs, and he wasn’t around. Plus it’s not like we were actually married or anything.”
Yes mum, whatever you say mum. I’m more interested in angry birds than Pulania’s ramblings. Blah de blah, de blah, what’s she saying now?
“…I mean if we sacrifice Ardan, then he’ll have to appear. He’s the angel of death, it’s a sure call.”
“I don’t think we should do that. You know they’re sleeping together, right?”
“What? Ardan and Susan?”
“Yeah, they must have made up. I don’t think she’d appreciate you sacrificing her boyfriend just so you can have a chat with Samael.”
“Humph, it was a foolproof plan. Killjoy.”
“Hey, this is a test.” I put aside my mobile phone. “If he can turn up here without anyone dying, then we know Gaea has told him how to get here. If she trusts him, he’s good, her being all seeing and all. You said that she’d put protections on this house that no one could break through, not even an angel or a demon, so if he shows it’s sweet. If not, we know we’ve got another problem on our hands.”
“I still think you’re a killjoy.”
Like, whatever.
“Oh, got some bad news this morning by email.”
I look up at that, “why, what bad news?”
“Some of the tests came back for the clap kids. They’re all sterile so far.”
The Dark Witch Page 16