by Jane Harper
‘Yeah, you can really tell in this one of you as a child.’
‘I know.’ She was right. The man in the photo could be Falk himself.
‘Even if you didn’t always get on, you must miss him.’
‘Of course. I miss him a lot. He was my dad.’
‘It’s just that you haven’t put the pictures up.’
‘No. Well, I don’t really go for home decorating much.’ He tried to make a joke of it but she didn’t laugh. She watched him over her glass.
‘It’s okay to regret it, you know.’
‘What?’
‘Not being closer when you had the chance.’
He said nothing.
‘You wouldn’t be the first kid to feel that way after losing a parent.’
‘I know.’
‘Especially if you feel perhaps you could have made more of an effort.’
‘Carmen. Thank you. I know.’ Falk put his wooden spoon down and looked at her.
‘Good. I was just saying. In case you didn’t.’
He couldn’t help a small smile. ‘Remind me, are you professionally trained in psychology, or . . .?’
‘Gifted amateur.’ Her smile faded a little. ‘It’s a real shame you grew apart, though. It looks like you were happy together when you were younger.’
‘Yeah. But he was always a bit of a difficult bloke. He kept himself to himself too much.’
Carmen looked at him. ‘A bit like you, you mean?’
‘No. Far worse than me. He kept people at arm’s length. Even people he knew well. And he wasn’t a big talker so it was hard to know what he was thinking a lot of the time.’
‘Is that right?’
‘Yeah. It meant he ended up quite detached –’
‘Right.’
‘– so he never really connected that closely with anyone.’
‘My God, seriously, Aaron, are you honestly not hearing this?’
He had to smile. ‘Look, I know how it sounds, but it wasn’t like that. If we were that similar, we would have got along better. Especially after we moved to the city. We needed each other. It was difficult to settle here in those first years. I was missing our farm, our old life, but he never seemed to understand that.’
Carmen cocked her head. ‘Or maybe he did understand how hard it was, because he was finding it difficult himself, and that’s why he invited you to go hiking on the weekends.’
Falk stopped stirring the pan and stared at her.
‘Don’t look at me like that,’ she said. ‘You would know. I never even met him. I’m just saying that I think most parents do genuinely try to do right by their kids.’ She shrugged. ‘I mean, look at the Baileys and their dickhead kid. He can do no wrong even when it’s caught on camera. And it sounds like even a lunatic like Martin Kovac spent his last couple of years upset that his son had gone AWOL.’
Falk started stirring again and tried to think what to say. Over the past few days, the brittle image he had of his father had been slowly warping into something a little different.
‘I suppose so,’ he said finally. ‘And look, I do wish we’d done a better job of sorting things out. Of course I do. And I know I should have tried harder. I just felt like Dad never wanted to meet halfway.’
‘Again, you would know. But you’re the one with the last picture of your dying father sandwiched between two paperbacks. That doesn’t scream halfway mark to me.’ She got up and slid the photos back between the books. ‘Don’t scowl, I’ll mind my own business from now on, promise.’
‘Yeah. All right. Dinner’s ready anyway.’
‘Good. That should shut me up for a bit at least.’ She smiled until he smiled back.
Falk loaded up two plates with pasta and the rich sauce and carried them to the small table in the corner.
‘This is exactly what I needed,’ Carmen said through her first mouthful. ‘Thank you.’ She cleared a quarter of her plate before leaning back and wiping her mouth with a napkin. ‘So, do you want to talk about Alice Russell?’
‘Not really,’ he said. ‘Do you?’
Carmen shook her head. ‘Let’s talk about something else.’ She took another sip of wine. ‘Like when did your girlfriend move out?’
Falk looked up in surprise, his fork halfway to his mouth. ‘How did you know?’
Carmen gave a small laugh. ‘How do I know? Aaron, I’ve got eyes.’ She pointed to a large gap next to the couch that had once housed an armchair. ‘Either this is the most aggressively minimalist flat I’ve ever been in, or you haven’t replaced her furniture.’
He shrugged. ‘It’d be about four years ago that she left.’
‘Four years!’ Carmen put down her glass. ‘I honestly thought you were going to say four months. God knows, I’m not overly houseproud myself, but really. Four years. What are you waiting for? Do you need a lift to Ikea?’
He had to laugh. ‘No. I just never got around to replacing her stuff. I can only sit on one couch at a time.’
‘Yes, I know. But the idea is that you invite people over to your home and they sit on your other bits of furniture. I mean, it’s so weird. You haven’t got an armchair, but you’ve got –’ she pointed at a polished wooden contraption gathering dust in a corner, ‘– that. What is that, even?’
‘It’s a magazine rack.’
‘There are no magazines on it.’
‘No. I don’t really read magazines.’
‘So she took the armchair, but left her magazine rack.’
‘Pretty much.’
‘Unbelievable.’ Carmen shook her head in mock disbelief. ‘Well, if you ever needed a sign that you’re better off without her, it’s sitting right there in your corner, magazine-less. What was her name?’
‘Rachel.’
‘And what went wrong?’
Falk looked at his plate. It wasn’t something he let himself think about too often. When he thought about her at all, the thing he remembered most was the way she used to smile. Right at the start, when things were still new. He refilled their glasses. ‘The usual. We just grew apart. She moved out. It was my fault.’
‘Yeah, I can believe that. Cheers.’ She raised her glass.
‘Excuse me?’ He almost laughed. ‘I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to say that.’
Carmen looked at him. ‘Sorry. But you’re a grown-up, you can take it. I just mean that you’re a decent bloke, Aaron. You listen, you seem to care, and you try to do the right thing by people. If you drove her to the point where she had to move out, it was on purpose.’
He was about to protest, then stopped. Could that be true?
‘She didn’t do anything wrong,’ he said finally. ‘She wanted things I felt I couldn’t really deliver.’
‘Like what?’
‘She wanted me to work a bit less, talk a bit more. Take some time off. Get married perhaps, I don’t know. She wanted me to try to work things out with my dad.’
‘Do you miss her?’
He shook his head. ‘Not anymore,’ he said truthfully. ‘But I sometimes think I should have listened to her.’
‘Maybe it’s not too late.’
‘It’s too late with her. She’s married now.’
‘It sounds like she might have done you some good if you’d stayed together,’ Carmen said. She reached a hand out and lightly touched his across the table. Looked him in the eyes. ‘But I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much. She wasn’t right for you.’
‘No?’
‘No. Aaron Falk, you are not the kind of man whose soul mate owns a magazine rack.’
‘To be fair, she did leave it behind.’
Carmen laughed. ‘And there’s been no-one since?’
Falk didn’t answer straight away. Six months ago, back in his hometown. A girl, woman now, from long ago. ‘I had a
near miss recently.’
‘It didn’t work out?’
‘She was –’ He hesitated. Gretchen. What could he say about her? Her blue eyes and her blonde hair. Her secrets. ‘Very complicated.’
His head was so far in the past he nearly missed the sound of his mobile buzzing from the bench top. He was slow to reach for it and by the time he picked it up, it had fallen silent.
Immediately, Carmen’s mobile started ringing from her bag, shrill and urgent. She rummaged around, pulling it out as Falk checked his own phone for the name of the missed caller. Their eyes met as they both looked up from their screens.
‘Sergeant King?’ he said.
She nodded as she pressed a button and lifted the phone to her ear. The ringtone fell silent, but Falk could almost still hear it resonating, like a remote but insistent warning bell.
Carmen listened and her eyes flicked up to meet his. She mouthed silently, ‘They’ve found the cabin’.
Falk felt adrenaline rush through his chest. ‘And Alice?’
She listened. A single sharp movement of her head.
No.
Day 3: Saturday Night
When the rain came, it set in quickly, blocking out the stars and reducing the fire to a smoking heap of ash. They retreated into the cabin, finding their bags and belongings, each marking out their own small territory. The hammering on the roof made the space feel tight and it seemed to Jill like any camaraderie around the campfire had evaporated with the smoke.
She shivered. She wasn’t sure which was worse: the dark or the cold. Something snapped loudly outside and she jumped. The dark was worse, she decided immediately. She apparently wasn’t alone in the thought as someone moved and a torch clicked on. It lay on the cabin floor, illuminating the disturbed dust. It flickered.
‘We should save the batteries,’ Alice said.
No-one moved. With a noise of frustration, Alice reached forward.
‘We need to save the batteries.’
A click. Darkness.
‘Is there anything at all on the phone?’ Jill said.
The sound of rummaging, and a small square of light. Jill held her breath.
‘No.’
‘What’s that battery on?’
‘Fifteen per cent.’
‘Turn it off.’
The light disappeared. ‘Maybe there’ll be something when the rain stops.’
Jill had no idea what impact the weather would have on the signal, but she clung to the idea. Maybe when the rain stopped. Yes, she would choose to believe that.
Across the cabin, another light went on. It was stronger this time, and Jill recognised Beth’s industrial torch.
‘Are you deaf?’ Alice said. ‘We need to save the torches.’
‘Why?’ Beth’s voice floated from her shadowy corner. ‘They’ll be searching for us tomorrow. This is our last night.’
A laugh from Alice. ‘You are kidding yourself if you think there is any chance they’re going to find us tomorrow. We are so far off track they won’t even begin to look here. The only way we’re being found tomorrow is if we walk out and present ourselves to them.’
After a moment, the torchlight disappeared. They were in blackness once more. Beth whispered something under her breath.
‘Something to say?’ Alice snapped.
No answer.
Jill could feel a headache starting as she tried to think through their options. She didn’t like the cabin – at all – but at least it was a base. She didn’t want to go back out there, where the trees jostled for space and sharp branches scratched her, and she had to strain her eyes for a path that kept disappearing under her feet. But out of the corner of her eye, she could also see the mattress with its strange black smear. She felt sick at the thought of leaving; scared at the thought of staying. She realised she was shaking, with hunger or cold, she wasn’t sure, and she made herself take a deep breath.
‘Let’s check the bags again.’ Her voice sounded different to her own ears.
‘For what?’ She wasn’t sure who had spoken.
‘Food. We’re all hungry and that’s not helping anything. Everyone check your bags, pockets, whatever. Really carefully. We must have a muesli bar or packet of peanuts or something between us.’
‘We already did that.’
‘Do it again.’
Jill realised she was holding her breath. She heard the rustle of fabric and zips being undone.
‘Can we use the torches for this at least, Alice?’ Beth switched hers on before waiting for an answer. For once, Alice didn’t argue and Jill sent up a silent prayer of thanks. Please let them find something, she thought as she dug around in her own bag. One single victory to lift spirits until morning. She felt someone step closer to her.
‘We should check Beth’s bag.’ Alice’s voice was in her ear.
‘Hey!’ The torch beam bounced off the walls. ‘I can hear you, Alice. I haven’t got anything in my bag.’
‘That’s what you said yesterday.’
Beth swung the beam across the room and shone it in Alice’s face.
‘What’s the problem?’ Alice flinched but didn’t waver. ‘That’s what happened, wasn’t it? You lied and said you didn’t have food last night. When actually you did.’
The sound of breathing. ‘Well, I don’t tonight.’
‘So you won’t mind if we check.’ Alice took a fast step forward and pulled Beth’s bag from her hand.
‘Hey!’
‘Alice!’ Bree cut in. ‘Leave her. She doesn’t have anything.’
Alice ignored them both, opening the bag and thrusting her hand in. Beth grabbed it from her, pulling so hard Alice’s arm was wrenched back.
‘Jesus! Watch it!’ Alice rubbed her shoulder.
Beth’s eyes were wide and black in the torchlight. ‘You watch it. I’ve had it up to here with your shit.’
‘You’re in luck then, because I’m sick of this. All of it. I’m walking out at first light tomorrow morning. Whoever wants to come, can come. The rest of you can stay here and take your chances.’
Jill’s head was pounding now. She cleared her throat. It sounded unnatural and strange.
‘I’ve already said, we’re not splitting up.’
‘And as I’ve already said, Jill,’ Alice said, turning to her, ‘at this point, I don’t care what you think. I’m going.’
Jill tried to take a deep breath, but her chest was tight. It felt like there was nothing in her lungs. She shook her head. She’d really hoped it wouldn’t come to this.
‘Not with the phone, you’re not.’
Chapter 19
Falk was back behind the wheel before first light. He pulled up outside Carmen’s apartment block. It had been dark when she’d left his place seven hours earlier, and it was still dark now. She was waiting on the pavement, ready to go, and she didn’t say much as she climbed in. They’d said it all the night before after the call from Sergeant King.
‘How did they find the cabin?’ Falk had asked, when Carmen had hung up.
‘A tip-off, apparently. He didn’t go into detail. Says he’ll know more by the time we get up there.’
When Falk had called the office, there had been a silence on the other end of the line.
Do they still think they’ll find her alive? Falk didn’t know. If they find her alive, she might start talking about all kinds of things. Yes, she might. You’d better go up. Don’t forget we still need the contracts. No, Falk wasn’t likely to forget.
He and Carmen again took turns driving. Like before, the roads were largely deserted as they passed now-familiar paddocks but this time, Falk thought, the journey seemed a lot longer.
As they at last neared the entrance to the park, Falk saw the green glow of the service station sign and pulled in. He thought about what the guy at the till h
ad said last time. Once you find the belongings or shelter, body’s always next. He blinked now as he went through the service station doors. There was a woman serving behind the counter.
‘Where’s the other guy?’ Falk said as he handed over his card.
‘Steve? Called in sick.’
‘When?’
‘This morning.’
‘What’s wrong with him?’
The woman looked at him strangely. ‘How would I know?’ She passed back his card and turned away. Just another dickhead from the city.
Falk took his card. He could feel her eyes on him the whole way back to the car. Above the forecourt, the cyclops eye of the camera stared down with its impassive gaze.
If the lodge had been busy before, it was in overdrive now. High-vis vests and media vans were everywhere. There was nowhere to park.
Falk dropped Carmen off at the lodge entrance and she ran in while he looked for a space. Sergeant King had said he’d leave instructions at reception. Falk crept along at slow speed and at the end of the row, was forced to double-park behind a ranger’s van.
He got out while he waited. It was even colder than he remembered and he zipped up his jacket. Across the carpark, away from the hive of activity, the Mirror Falls trailhead stood still and empty.
‘Hey.’
Falk heard a voice and turned around. For a second he didn’t recognise the woman. She looked different out of context.
‘Bree. You’re out of hospital.’
‘Yeah, last night. Thank God. I needed to get some air.’ Her dark hair was piled up under a hat and the brisk chill had made her cheeks a little flushed. She looked, Falk thought, quite beautiful.
‘How’s your arm?’
‘It’s okay, thank you. Still a bit painful.’ She looked at the bandage peering out from under the sleeve of her jacket. ‘I’m more worried about everything else. Beth and I are supposed to be leaving later today. I’ve got an appointment with a specialist in Melbourne tomorrow morning, but . . .’ Bree looked over at a search party climbing into a van. She brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. Her chipped nails had been neatly filed down, Falk noticed.
‘That cabin wasn’t really used by Martin Kovac, was it?’ She didn’t bother trying to hide the fear in her voice.