by Noelle Adams
He wanted to comfort her as much as he wanted to tease her—and promise that he’d always be there to take care of her. His hand began to inch up to caress her cheek when…
“For crying out loud, Jace! Bend down and kill the damn spider!” Mrs. Parker—his old seventh grade teacher—called out. “Then we can all admire how nice your butt looks in those jeans!”
All around them the ladies of the salon began to chime in on how cute his ass was, and all Jace wanted to do was crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment.
He chanced a look at Isabella, who was doing her best to not laugh along with the ladies, but a giggle came out and then she stepped out of his embrace and laughed uninhibitedly. Of course, she still had the good sense to point to the spider. So without giving the lecherous hair brigade a show, he walked over and stomped on the spider and then grabbed a broom and took care of the carnage.
The collective sound of disappointment was rather good for his ego.
By the time they’d left and gone to grab something to eat, it was obvious that they had to deal with the elephant in the room.
“So you have a date Friday night,” he said after they’d ordered their food.
Isabella nodded and took a long drink of her water.
“Is he anyone we know? Local?”
“Uh, no. He lives near Richmond but comes to Preston a lot on business.”
“What does he do?”
She looked around and wouldn’t quite meet his eyes. “He’s a, uh, he’s a doctor. He works with several clinics, volunteering his time. That sort of thing.” She shrugged.
All he could do was nod. How the hell was he supposed to compete with a doctor? Wasn’t that every girl’s dream?
They sat in awkward silence for several minutes when Isabella finally let out a loud sigh and looked at him. “I didn’t go out looking for this date, you know. But everyone is still trying to set me up, and since we’re keeping us a secret, they wouldn’t let me say no. I wasn’t sure what else to do.”
“It’s fine.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s not. I knew this would happen. I knew things were going to get awkward. I can tell that you’re not okay with me going out on this date.”
Hell no, he wasn’t. “Are you okay with going out on this date?” he countered, mainly to buy himself some time.
“What am I supposed to be?” she asked, her eyes wide. “We said we’d play this thing between us by ear, which is totally fine, but I can’t just stop my life in the meantime. Tori’s wedding will be here before we know it, and I’m no closer to finding… finding…” She trailed off, her eyes dropping and her shoulders slumping.
Finding the man of her dreams.
That was who she was looking for.
And, no matter what had happened between them, evidently she hadn’t found him yet.
“You want a man you can fall in love with,” he said softly.
She nodded, looking back up to meet his eyes. “I do, Jace. I really do. I mean, the sex is… is amazing, but love is more important to me than sex.”
He let out a sigh, feeling like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. “Of course it is. So you want to… to go back to the way we were before?”
Her face twisted. “I don’t know. Jace, I just don’t know.”
He suddenly saw that she was about to say something appalling, something about how maybe even their friendship had been changed because of the sex and they could never go back.
And he couldn’t stand that—he couldn’t let that happen.
“Well, we don’t have to figure it out right now,” he said quickly, speaking with a feigned casualness so she wouldn’t see how urgent he was. “We said we’d just play things by ear, so that’s we’ll do. You go out on your date, and we’ll figure out everything else between us later on. Don’t worry about it.”
She nodded, looking relieved, but he could still see the w in her worry in her eyes.
“Look, I want you to have everything you dream of, no matter what it is. If you think this guy has potential, then you should go out with him.” It might have been the hardest sentence he’d ever spoken. “Although from the last few dates you’ve had, you might want an out.”
“An out?”
“Yeah, you know, someone there to meet him with you and sort of give the thumbs up or thumbs down if things don’t seem right.”
“Oh. I hadn’t thought of that.” She paused and took another sip of her drink. “Would you do it? He’s picking me up at my place and—”
“At your place? I thought you’d been meeting these guys at the restaurant so they wouldn’t know where you lived in case things went south.”
“I know. I was, but Cliff’s a good guy and everyone in town knows him so I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
“Cliff? His name is Cliff? As in Clifford?”
Isabella made a face at him. “What’s wrong with that?”
“You mean other than his name is the same as the big red dog?”
She rolled her eyes. “Stop it.” But then she started to giggle. “Great, now that’s all I’m going to be able to think of when I see him!”
Jace started laughing too, and for a few minutes they were relaxed. Happy. Just themselves.
“So you’ll come to the house and meet him before the date?”
And they were back to awkward.
“Yeah. Sure. I’ll be there.”
Their meals arrived, and Jace was just about to take his first bite when Isabella’s words stopped him.
“You really let the girls at the salon down by not bending over to kill the spider you know.”
He looked at her and saw her lips twitching. “Is that right?”
She nodded. “Definitely. You have quite a fan following in town.”
This was news to him. “And you know this how?”
“Well, with all the talk of finding me a future husband, your name always comes up when sexy and good-looking guys are mentioned.” They smiled at each other with a wry kind of amusement. “All I’m saying is that you should keep that in mind next time you’re in the salon.”
“What? Bending over and giving everyone a show? I’m not going to have to do a sexy dance or anything, am I?”
She giggled and gave him a mischievous grin. “Do you know how to do a sexy dance?”
“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”
They’d enjoyed the rest of their dinner, and he thought to himself, “This is it. The sex part of the relationship is over. She’s not going to feel comfortable being with me that way again.”
But when they’d walked out to their cars, Isabella hugged him… and bit his neck.
Then licked it.
Something inside him howled.
When she did it again, he hauled her close and growled her name. “Bella, don’t…”
Then he shut up because, seriously, why was he fighting this? It was exactly what he wanted. He leaned in and did his own biting and licking until he felt her knees practically give out.
“My place,” she’d panted as she rubbed up against him. “It’s closer.”
Who was he to argue?
***
On Friday night, he was back at her apartment, sitting on the sofa waiting for Cliff.
Clifford.
The doctor.
Not the dog.
The doorbell rang, and Isabella was still in her bedroom getting dressed. “Can you get that, Jace?”
“No problem,” he called back. In his mind, he came up with a dozen scenarios where he could tell good ol’ Dr. Cliff that he could take a hike, that Isabella wasn’t interested.
But he didn’t.
Partly because he was a decent guy.
And partly because the guy was built like a linebacker.
Not a good sign.
“Hey, I’m Cliff. I’m here for Isabella,” the man said. He was easily over six feet tall, with jet black hair and gray eyes.
“I’m Jace. A… friend o
f Bella’s. Come on in. She’s still getting ready.” They shook hands, and Jace led him into the living room. “Can I get you something to drink?” That seemed like the polite thing to do, didn’t it?
Cliff looked at him hesitantly even as he looked around the room—as if searching for Isabella. “Uh, sure. Thanks.”
“Beer?” Jace offered, hoping that if he said yes, it would be a strike against him for considering drinking and then driving.
“No, thanks. Water would be just fine.”
Damn. “No problem. Make yourself comfortable.” A minute later he was back with a bottle of water and sat himself in the oversized chair facing Cliff. “So, Bella tells me you’re a doctor.”
Cliff nodded. “I am.”
“Any specialties?”
“GP all the way. I travel to different hospitals and clinics and lend a hand wherever I’m needed.”
“Don’t like to stay in one place?” Jace asked, hoping to find that the guy would eventually take off and leave Isabella.
“I would love to, but I know how shorthanded so many of these places are, and I just want to be useful where I can.”
Can’t fault the guy for that either. Dammit. “But you just stay here in Virginia, right?”
“I did a couple of stints with Doctors without Borders, but I missed my family too much. I’d go back if there was a real crisis situation, but my mom had a hip replacement, and my dad is struggling with complications from diabetes so I’d rather be stateside if they need me.”
Freaking Cliff was almost a saint.
Jace had to refrain from cursing.
“I’m sure they’re happy to have you back home,” he said miserably.
“And you’re a friend of Isabella’s?” Cliff asked, but it was sort of a rhetorical question. “I think it’s nice that you’re watching out for her. There are a lot of creeps out there. You’re a good friend to be here to make sure she’s okay.”
Great. Now he was complimenting him too. Hell, at this rate, Jace might want to date him!
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Isabella said as she breezed into the room.
Jace was instantly assaulted by her sweet, florally scent and had to fight the urge to haul her over to him and demand that Cliff leave. She was dressed in a conservative-looking black dress but still… damn. There was no way for her not to look sexy.
Cliff stood and greeted her, and Isabella looked cautiously between the two of them. Jace could only imagine how they looked—like day and night. They were so opposite. Part of him rationalized that there was no way she could possibly be attracted to a guy like Cliff when clearly she was attracted to him. But as he stood back and watched her smile at her date and how easily they fell into conversation with one another, he began to doubt himself.
And the relationship he thought was developing between him and Isabella.
Shit.
“Well, I guess we should get going,” Isabella said, smiling. She grabbed a sweater that she’d had draped over the sofa and slipped it on. Turning to Jace she said, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, right?”
This would totally be the wrong time to say what was on his mind—to tell her that she had to choose right now between the two of them—but that didn’t stop him from imagining how it would go. Unfortunately, he had a feeling Dr. Wonderful Humanitarian would win out in a big way and then he’d be stuck standing here as a loser.
“Jace?” she prompted.
“Oh, yeah. Sure. Definitely.”
“Where are you going tonight?” she asked as the three of them walked toward the door.
Home. He was going home to be alone. Well, not totally alone. There was Beau and all.
Maybe they’d take a bath together and complete his descent into being completely pathetic.
“I’m meeting some of the guys from work for poker,” he lied.
“Oh, I love poker night!” she said with a bit of a pout and then seemed to catch herself. “I mean…”
Once in a while, she had joined him when he did get together with the guys to play. That wasn’t why he’d mentioned it, though. It was just the first thing to come to mind. “I’ll tell everyone you said hello.”
By now they were all out on the driveway, and Jace wished them a good night as he walked to his car. As he was opening the door, he stopped and watched as Cliff held the door for her and then walked around to get into his hybrid Lexus.
Because, of course, Cliff would be good to the environment too.
Dammit.
And as they pulled out of the driveway and drove away, Jace felt like his fate had been sealed.
They might remain friends, but he’d still lost Isabella for good.
Eleven
A week later, Isabella woke up at about two in the morning, hit with a surge of panic so overwhelming she gasped and sat up straight in the bed.
Jace’s bed.
She’d fallen asleep with him earlier, after they’d had sex in slow, thorough silence.
Two weeks now, and they were still trying to maintain this precarious balance between sex and friendship. In daylight hours, she tried to talk herself into believing it was reasonable and understandable.
But deep inside she knew better.
Her skin was cold and clammy as she tried to catch her breath in the dark room. This was wrong. Something was deeply wrong with what they were doing.
They were endangering their friendship, and that was something she could never accept.
She’d been on the verge of breaking it off completely when Jace had reacted so stiffly to news of her date with Cliff, but then he’d convinced her it wasn’t a big deal after all.
But she knew inside that it was a big deal, no matter what Jace said.
She had to stop this. Now. Tonight would have to be the last night.
“Bella, baby? What’s the matter?” Jace’s voice was thick and sleepy—so incredibly sexy.
“Nothing.” She tried desperately not to sound as breathless and shaky as she felt.
She obviously failed.
Jace sat up too. “Hey, don’t lie to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
With another ragged breath, she turned her head in his direction. It was too dark in the room to see him clearly, and somehow that made this conversation safer.
Jace had never lied to her. Not once in all the years she’d known him. She wasn’t going to lie to him either.
“Are you sick?” he asked, reaching out until he could find and stroke her hair back from her face.
“No.” Swallowing hard, she admitted, “I just… I just got scared. About what we’re doing, I mean.”
“Oh.”
There was a strange timbre to his voice, and it made her stomach twist. Jace was incredible, but he was still a guy. And guys always got nervous and reluctant about conversations like this. What if he thought she’d decided she wanted more from him? What if he was already edging away from that possibility?
She would lose him. And she just couldn’t lose him.
“It seems… I don’t know. Something feels wrong about it. Like we’re not being reasonable to expect to just keep doing what we’re doing without ever really thinking it through.”
Jace was silent for so long it terrified her. Then he said slowly, “I can understand that.”
“I mean, I’m just feeling… unsettled about it.”
“Okay. So tell me what would make you feel more settled. What do you want?”
“I want…” She took a shaky breath and tried to clear her mind from the fog of fear and confusion. “I want to always be your friend.”
“I’ve already told you that’s never going to change. No matter what else happens, you’re my best friend for the rest of my life.”
Her eyes burned with a sudden swell of emotion at the hoarse sincerity in his tone. “Me too.”
“Good. So what else do you want?”
It was easier with him questioning her like this. And it was easier in the dark. As if she could say things she’d
be too self-conscious to admit in the light of day. “The sex is… is amazing. The best I’ve ever had.”
“Me too.”
“But I still want… I still want a man who will be the love of my life. A husband I can share life with, raise a family with. I’ve always wanted that, and I don’t think it’s going to change. No matter how good the sex is with you, it’s never going to be enough.”
There was a strange tension in his body. She could feel it, even though she couldn’t see him. “So you… so you want more?”
“Yes.” She frowned, not quite sure why he was asking such an obvious question. “Of course I want more. That’s why I don’t want to stop dating. But it feels wrong to have sex with you while I’m dating other guys. It feels… just wrong.”
“It’s not wrong.” Jace’s tone was different now, although she couldn’t see expression enough to know why. “I’m in this with both eyes open. If you’re worried about me, then don’t be.”
She wasn’t exactly worried about him in that way. She was worried about their friendship. But it didn’t feel like she could say anything more. She wasn’t even sure what she should say.
“I just… I just don’t really know,” she said at last.
She sat there staring in his direction for a long time, until he finally said, “It’s fine not to know. That’s why we’re just playing it by ear. There’s nothing to worry about, Bella. And I can think of other things for us to be doing in bed together like this.”
She recognized his shift in tone, and it was like a wave of relief washing over her. It was much more enjoyable to have sex with him than to try to figure out what was happening between them and what the consequences would be.
Maybe he was right.
Maybe they should just relax and take what was offered.
She lay back down with a long exhale and then giggled softly when he rolled over on top of her. “We were having a conversation,” she said, smiling at him in the dark.
He rubbed himself against, making it clear he was already getting hard. “Do you still want to talk?” he drawled. “Or do you want to do something else now.”
She pulled his head down so she could kiss him. “Definitely something else.”