"Holy shit!" Luke gasped. "I'm doing English Lit and business."
"What about Matt? Has he decided what he's doing?"
"Yeah, languages."
Ben paused. "Really? I didn't know he could speak any."
"Yeah, he did French and German at school. He just picks it up. I've always been jealous about how quickly he could learn it, when I was still trying to say 'hello.'"
"I know Tom's going back as well."
"Yeah, he never finished, did he? He never got that chance. At least we'll all be going the same place, so we'll know each other."
"I'm looking forward to it." Ben couldn't wait to go back.
"Me too, but I'm a little scared, you know. It's been a while and what do I say to people when they ask me what I've been doing? I can hardly say selling sex." Ben heard Luke sigh. He had a point.
"We'll think of something before we start." What would they say? "Anyway, I've got to go. I'm cooking tonight."
"Want us to bring anything?"
"Nah, I've got it covered, but thanks for offering. See you guys later."
"Bye."
Ben put the phone down and stood staring at it. He hadn't even thought about the people he would meet. Luke was right. What would he talk about? What could he say about his past? He chewed his thumbnail when he thought about it. Shit! Was he doing the right thing by going to college? He ran his hand through his hair, his stomach twisted in nerves, and his hands were suddenly clammy. He put his hand on his chest; his heart was racing, and he wasn't even at college yet.
Could he do it? He knew he wanted to continue his education now he had the chance, but he didn't want everyone to know what he'd done to survive. He didn't want them to look at him that way, like he was dirty or scum. He wasn't ashamed exactly; he'd done what he'd had to do to survive. He would probably be dead if he hadn't.
What family he did have had treated him like shit and the only person who had cared for him had died. So he'd been on his own with no food, money, and nowhere to live, and he'd made friends, people who'd done the same things he had done to survive. They understood. Maybe he should talk to them later.
Looking at the clock, he realised he needed to start getting the food ready for dinner. There would be six in total tonight, and he wanted to make sure he had plenty in. Checking the fridge again and the cupboards, he made a list of ingredients he needed and went to the supermarket. An hour later, he was back and started to prep. He was going with Italian as he knew Geoff loved it. Italian garlic chicken with ham, basil and beans.
Once everything was prepped and the chicken was in the oven, Ben showered and changed into clean clothes. He went about cleaning the place up and making sure they had plenty of beer and wine. He checked the chicken to see how far along it was, and when he closed the oven, was surprised to see Geoff stood watching him, causing him to jump in surprise.
He put his hand on his chest, "God, you made me jump. I wasn't expecting you until later."
"Sorry. The case finished, so I decided to come home early."
"Did it go your way?"
Geoff nodded as he walked over to the oven and peeked inside. "I'm glad it's over. James, our client, is ecstatic that it's all finished. It's been draining for him having this hanging over his head." Geoff inhaled. "Smells wonderful. What is it?"
"Italian garlic chicken. Are you in for the night now?"
"Yes. I've got a couple of bits to finish in the study, and that's me for the weekend. Did you get the suit for tomorrow?"
Damn, he was hoping Geoff had forgotten that he'd asked him. He had some work function at a posh hotel and had invited Ben, which Ben didn't want to go to, but he felt like he couldn't turn down the invite. He knew it was important to Geoff and considering what was happening between them- something he still couldn't quite put a name to- he'd agreed to go. He wouldn't know anyone there and was probably going to be the youngest person, so he was bound to stick out. Also, what would he talk about? He knew nothing about Geoff's job or what type of cases he dealt with. Maybe he should ask him about it. Learn a bit so he wouldn't look like a complete idiot and end up embarrassing Geoff.
Geoff must have seen some of the unease of Ben's face. "Are you alright going tomorrow?"
Ben shrugged as he answered, "I'm nervous. I'm not gonna know anyone, and I don't know what you do, not really. I just don't want to make you look silly. Who am I? What will you tell people about me?"
Geoff pulled Ben close, looking into his eyes. "You won't make me look silly. There will be plenty of people there who don't know everything about what their partners do. It's not like we can talk about the details of the cases we deal with, so don't worry about that. As for who you are? I'll introduce you as my partner because that's who you are, and you're going to college. I'm proud of who you are and who you're becoming. This-" he pointed between them- "isn't some casual fling. I don't do them. If you don't want serious relationship with me, you need to tell me now before this continues." Geoff paused, then asked, "Am I who you want?"
Ben stared at Geoff, thinking about the question he'd asked him. Was Geoff who he wanted? Was this what he wanted? Or was he doing this because he was grateful that someone had helped him get his shit together and was giving him the chance to live a normal life and get off the streets? He chewed his bottom lip thinking about the answers to those questions. He liked Geoff, really liked him. Ben had strong feelings for him. He probably loved him, but Ben wasn't ready to look into that just yet. Geoff made him laugh, made him feel important. He didn't hold him back. Geoff wanted him to pursue his dreams, whatever they were. And the best thing? Geoff never expected sex from Ben. Yeah, he wanted this.
"I want this with you. I was worried at one point that you wouldn't let me stay if I didn't have sex with you, but you've never made me feel like I had to."
Clenching his jaw, Geoff told him, "I would never, never expect you to sleep with me so that you could stay here."
"I know that now, but at first I wasn't so sure. You don't hold me back, you know. You want me to do things with my life, and you've never asked for anything in return. You've never forced yourself on me. You left that up to me to decide. Man, I got naked and knelt on the floor for you and you didn't ask for that!" Ben shrugged. Thinking about that day embarrassed him and he felt the heat on his throat and cheeks, but it had gotten the result he'd wanted.
"You were so hot, knelt on the floor, waiting for me."
Ben smiled shyly at Geoff, looking at him from under his hair. "Really?"
"Really, but I don't want to talk about that as we have friends coming in less than an hour and answering the door with a hard on? No." Geoff laughed.
Ben stepped towards Geoff, sighing against his chest. He lifted his head, kissing him before pulling away. "Go, get ready. I still have some things to finish up here."
"Alright. Did you look at the funeral details?"
Ben growled, pushing away and stomping over to the plans. He picked them up and waved them at Geoff before throwing that back on the side. "Yes, and I still don't know what to do. I've been tearing my hair out going over the details. Thank God the guys are coming over, so they can help me sort this out."
Geoff walked over to him kissing him again, then walked towards the stairs. "I'll get changed and come down to help. It'll get easier, I promise."
Ben continued getting everything set up for dinner. When Geoff came in, Ben stopped what he was doing and drooled. He was only wearing a white shirt and faded blue jeans, but damn, he looked hot!
Geoff sauntered over to Ben, lifting his face up. "You like?"
Ben nodded dumbly. Oh, he liked alright.
Geoff kissed him, and Ben whimpered when Geoff's tongue trace his lips. He opened his mouth, feeling Geoff suck on his tongue. He put his arms around Geoff's neck, entwining his fingers in his hair and felt his arse being grabbed and then he was lifted up, flush against Geoff's body, their erections rubbing together. The friction was amazing. He moaned, rubbing against Geoff,
attacking his mouth and wrapping his legs around him. It was such a turn on, knowing Geoff could pick him up with ease.
Geoff licked and nibbled down Ben's neck when the doorbell rang. Groaning in frustration, Ben dropped his head onto Geoff's shoulder, taking some deep breaths as Geoff lowered him to the floor.
Ben chuckled, looking at him. "Someone's early, cock blockers!"
Geoff laughed out loud, looking at Ben. "Damn right."
Ben watched Geoff attempt to rearrange his hard on before he walked out to answer the door. He walked back in less than a minute later with Seb and Tom behind him.
"Drink?" Geoff asked them as they went to the fridge.
"God yes. Beers please," Seb answered. "I've never been so happy for a case to be over. I felt for Mr Flynn. He's been through enough and then a court case on top. It should never have gotten that far."
The doorbell went again as Geoff passed a couple of bottles over to Seb. "That should be Matt and Luke."
As Geoff answered the door, Tom asked Ben, "How're ya doing?"
"Alright. Being here with Geoff has helped. I've decided on what courses I want to do, and I've completed all the forms so I should be starting in September. What about you? Looking forward to going back?"
Tom looked uncertain. "Yes and no. I left almost five years ago now, so it might take some getting used to, but I want a decent job, so I need an education."
"Any ideas what you want to do?"
"Yeah. I guess working with Seb has let me see what goes on there, and I like it. I know I'm only doing the filing, but Geoff's showed me some stuff as well. I enjoy it." Tom shrugged.
"Wow, a solicitor." Ben thought about it. He could see Tom doing it. "It suits you."
"Really?" Tom glanced at him, biting his lip and peeling the label from his bottle of beer.
Ben reached over and stopped Tom as he smiled at him. "Yeah. No matter what happened, you kept things going for us. I don't think we'd be here if it weren't for you."
Tom frowned. "Adam isn't."
"I know. I spoke to Clara about it, and I think looking back on it, Adam wanted to go. He was using, which he hid from us, and he was taking more risks. I don't think we'll ever know for sure, will we. I still feel guilty about it. Not like I used to, but it's still there. He was my friend, and I miss him."
"Me too. Sometimes I see something, and I think 'oh, Adam would like that,' and it reminds me that he isn't here."
"Yeah, I know that feeling. Speak to Clara, Tom. It's helping me, and I never thought I'd say that."
"So it really is helping you, Ben?" Seb asked him.
Ben nodded, looking at Seb. "Yeah, it really is. It's hard at first to talk about what we went through, but it's helping me move on."
Ben watched Seb nudge Tom and give him a pointed look. Tom gave a dramatic sigh. "Okay, I get it. I'm not sure I can yet."
"Do a journal," Ben suggested. It helped him; maybe it would do the same for Tom.
"A journal? Oh, yeah, I forgot that Geoff had mentioned it," Seb told him.
"Write a journal. I found it helped me to write the things that I'd been through down in a journal. I wasn't ready to talk about what had happened to me, and I knew no one else would see it unless I wanted them to. It helped me face things."
"Why don't you try that, Tom?"
Tom looked between the two of them, the indecision evident on his face. He finally nodded. "Okay, okay. I'll try it."
"Sorry to butt in, but me and Luke have been talking, and we've decided to see someone too. We've seen how much it's helped Ben, so we thought we'd give it a try," Matt added.
"So, it's just me then, not going," Tom grumbled.
"You were on the streets longer than us, Tom," Matt spoke. "You've seen more and experienced more than us. It might be harder for you."
Seb put his arms around Tom's waist, pulling him back against his chest. Ben smiled at them as he went to get the chicken and heard Seb say to Tom, "Do what you feel is best for you. You know how I feel about this, but I'll support any decision you make."
"You will?"
"You know I will."
Geoff held up some bottles of beer. "Beers?"
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Dinner was a success and, between them, they'd managed to arrange a funeral plan for Adam. Geoff sat with Seb talking quietly as he watched Ben with Tom, Matt and Luke as they decided on the details. It still surprised him how much Ben was changing. Gone was the angry, near silent boy and now he could see the beginnings of what he knew would be a confident man.
"I still can't believe how much it costs for a coffin. It's a piece of wood, for fuck's sake!" Tom threw his pen on the counter. "The person is dead and these companies are trying to get every last fuckin' penny they can."
"I know! I never knew it could cost this much," Luke agreed with him, rubbing his head with his hand.
"It doesn't matter. We've discussed this. Get him what you think he'd have liked and we'll sort out the cost at a later date," Geoff interrupted.
Ben had told him how Tom felt about it and in a way he could understand. It was expensive, but Adam was their friend, and he knew that they wanted the best for him. Adam hadn't had a great life, so now he was dead, they were going to give him a great send off.
"You're gonna let us help, right?" Matt asked him, glancing up from the brochure in front of him.
"Yes, you know I will. We'll work that out later." Geoff gave them a small smile. "Any closer to what you want?"
"Yeah." Ben stood up and yawned as he stretched. "We have the list here. You've sorted out everything with the police, right?"
"Don't worry about it. I've dealt with it. Now, let's have that list and tomorrow I can book everything."
"We need to head home as well. Thanks for inviting us, Geoff." Seb stood and walked over to Tom, pulling him up. "You two want a lift home?"
"Yeah, thanks." Luke said as he too stood up.
"Yes, I do. Come on. See you Monday, Geoff. Oh, and have a good time tomorrow." Facing Ben, Seb said, "Thanks for that, Ben."
"For what?" Ben asked frowning slightly.
"It might have been me going, so I owe you one."
"Great, just great," Ben mumbled.
"I heard that," Geoff whispered in Ben's ear.
"You were meant to."
Geoff walked them out and waved as they drove away. He locked up and found Ben sat in the kitchen staring at the counter. He stood behind him, pulling him to his chest, resting his chin on the top of Ben's head.
"You alright?" he asked him.
"Thinking about Adam and the funeral." He told him, giving him a small smile.
Geoff held him tightly for a minute. "Let's go to bed and relax. We've a long day tomorrow."
Ben stood, and Geoff held his hand leading him to his bedroom. Ben paused at the threshold, and Geoff looked at him searchingly before pulling him gently into the room.
"I wasn't sure..." Ben mumbled as he looked at the floor.
"You know I want you in my bed."
Ben shrugged and looked away. "We've had sex."
"I'm not like them, Ben. I thought you knew this."
"It's just sometimes it's hard to believe you'd want to be with me given everything I've done." Ben's shoulder slumped as he spoke.
"Have I ever made you feel that way?" Facing Ben, Geoff placed his hands on Ben's shoulders, rubbing gently.
"No, you haven't. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologise. Remember what Clara said? She said you would have days like this."
"Yeah."
"From now on, you sleep in here with me. I want you to."
He watched Ben blow out a breath. "I think discussing the funeral and talking about Adam raked everything up for me. All those insecurities." Ben stared into his eyes. "I want this with you. I wish I wasn't so fucked up."
"You've been through a lot. And it's going to take time." Geoff opened the walk-in wardrobe. "See, I've cleared a space for you. Move your things in tomorrow."
"How do you want me, Sir?"
Geoff shivered. He loved it when Ben called him Sir. "Strip. On your knees on the bed and hold the bed frame." He watched Ben follow his orders, as Geoff stripped. When he was naked, and Ben was in position, he made his way over to him. "Good boy."
He ran his hand down Ben's back, feeling the smooth and scarred skin against his palm. Geoff grabbed the lube from the drawer with his other hand and knelt behind him.
Geoff placed open mouth kisses along Ben's neck and shoulders, gently biting as he moved down Ben's back, listening to the moans Ben made every time he bit him. He looked up and grinned when he saw the marks he'd left on Ben's back. He hadn't broken the skin but anyone who saw them would know what they were. He stroked down Ben's ribs trailing his tongue across the base of his spine.
When he reached Ben's arse, he bit harder and heard Ben gasp above him, watching him grip the headboard in his hands. He grabbed Ben's cheeks and held them open as he blew on his hole. He lubed his fingers then rubbed one around the muscle waiting for it to relax a little before slowly pushing his finger in.
Geoff felt the slight resistance and gently moved it in and out until the muscle relaxed. He added another one and searched until he found Ben's spot, rubbing it, eliciting sounds of pleasure from Ben, feeling Ben's body tremble beneath his hands.
The most arousing part of this was knowing how much pleasure Ben received. He knew that Ben's time on the street hadn't been anywhere near enjoyable. Sex had been a job, nothing more, nothing less. Geoff wanted him to get as much enjoyment as he could out of their time together. He wanted to blow his mind with pleasure.
When he had three fingers in and Ben was relaxed, he pulled them out, rolled a condom on, quickly lubed it up then slowly pushed the head in. Once the head was in, he waited for Ben to adjust to him, stroking his back and hips. At eight inches, Geoff knew he wasn't small, and he didn't want to hurt Ben by shoving his dick in.
When he saw Ben nod, he pushed in slowly, inch by inch, until he was fully encased in Ben's warm, smooth arse and waited again. He leaned over, wrapping his arm around Ben, then pulled him up and back, so Ben sat on Geoff knees, his back against Geoff's chest.
New Beginnings (Second Chances Book 2) Page 13