Titanium

by Linda Palmer

  At that moment, Riley came out of the bathroom. I quickly minimized the screen and jumped up to catch her. I saw a rosy- cheeked girl in a fluffy white robe with her hair wrapped in a pink towel.

  I completely forgot what I meant to say.

  Chapter Seven

  Riley

  "Um...hey." Zander's face flushed for some reason. "I can't, um, seem to log you, um, out of email."

  "Oh. Sorry." I walked to my desk and located the log-off box on the screen, admittedly in a weird spot and kind of small.

  He sighed. "Duh."

  Without comment, I went to my bedroom and took out my earrings, something I should've already done. A glance at the clock revealed it was way too early for bed. So I simply ran a pick through my damp curls and headed to the living room. Hadn't been there but a second when Zander yelled, asking for our street address. I shouted it back.

  In a bit, he joined me in front of the TV, choosing the recliner instead of the couch on which I sat. "You have curls."

  "Yeah."

  "They're nice."

  "If you say so."

  "Should we leave my flat screen in here since it's bigger? I don't mind moving this one to my bedroom."

  "Good idea."

  And that was it for conversation. Zander made the switch and got everything hooked up, something I was lousy at. Soon bored with watching his TV, which was quite a bit bigger but still showed the same ol' same ol', I decided to go to bed. I left my door open a crack instead of shutting it because I hated to be cut off from the rest of the house. The TV was still going when I fell asleep.

  I was immediately alone in that dark parking lot again. Jason started walking towards me. I tried to run, but never got anywhere. I screamed, but without a sound. Jason grabbed and shook me.

  "Riley! Wake up!"

  The parking lot vanished. I saw a shadow leaning over my bed and gasped.

  "It's just me. Zander."

  Who? Oh yeah. The housemate. I grabbed the spare pillow and covered my head with it, groaning. The bed dipped slightly. He tugged the pillow away. "Are you okay?"

  "Dreaming."

  "I'll say."

  I glanced at the clock. Eleven. Still early. I had a long night of nightmares to go.

  Loud banging on the front door made both of us jump. We exchanged an uneasy glance before Zander led the way into the living room and peered through the peep hole that was too high for me. He turned on the porch light and opened the door a little. "Yes?"

  "Where's Riley?"

  Recognizing the voice of Charlie Hathaway, the guy who owned the duplex and lived in the other half of it, I nudged Zander aside and opened the door. "I'm right here."

  His gaze swept me. His eyes narrowed. "Are you okay?"

  "Yeah, sure. Why?"

  "You screamed," said Zander.

  I slapped my hand over my mouth. "I did? Wow. Sorry about that. I'm perfectly fine. Just had a bad dream."

  Charlie's expression was nothing but suspicious as he glanced from one to the other of us.

  "We changed the locks, by the way. Let me get you a key." I went to the kitchen to get it.

  "Why'd you change them?" he asked Zander.

  "We found out there was a spare in that turtle thingy out front."

  "Damn. Wish I'd known. I paid to have one made when the last renters left. They never turned theirs in."

  "So ex-renters have had a key to this apartment the whole time I've lived in it?" I asked.

  "Yeah, I guess so." He stood in silence, clearly deep in thought. Finally coming to some kind of conclusion, he shook his head and left without another word.

  Baffled, I shut the door and met Zander's gaze. "What a jerk."

  "You know what he's thinking, don't you?"

  "That he should've changed the locks when the last renters didn't return their keys?"

  "No, about you screaming." Zander made a suggestive gesture with his hands.

  I felt my face flush with embarrassment. "Oh God. That's all I need."

  Seeing his mischievous grin, I decided the nightmare had been worth any mistaken assumptions Cheap Charlie, as I secretly called him, might have about us.

  "Are you okay now?" Zander asked.

  "Good as gold. Are you?"

  He didn't pretend to misunderstand. "Roger that. Sorry about before."

  "No sweat."

  Glad that Zander hadn't challenged me when I'd lied about how I was, I went back to bed. I couldn't fall asleep for hours after that and finally got up at five on Monday, exhausted from the off- and-on dozing I'd managed. Zander's door was shut. I dug my newspaper from under the bushes outside and scanned the headlines as I ate.

  Since Zander still wasn't up, I wrote him a note. He walked into the kitchen, fully dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved Go Army tee, just as I finished it. I tucked a corner of the paper under one of the magnets on the fridge. "This is a copy of my class schedule. I'll be at UT until one. I have to be at the mall by two. T&M closes at ten, but sometimes I don't get out of there until eleven. If I'm not home by midnight, please call Sergeant Brian."

  "Roger that."

  "I guess you'll be unpacking?"

  "Actually I'll be at Brook until after lunch. When I come back I'll try to clear this stuff out. We should probably exchange cell numbers."

  "Oh yeah. Good idea."

  "And Riley? Park safe at the mall."

  "I will."

  * * * *

  My hours at UT proved to be very stressful. In every hallway, I found myself looking over my shoulder. In every class, I couldn't help but stare down each guy, looking for an earring or tattoo. I thought of calling Leslie during the trip from school to the mall, but honestly didn't know what to say to her. While I didn't want to be disloyal to the aunt and uncle who'd graciously taken me in, I couldn't let their resentment and decisions drive my life, either.

  Time had blurred my memories of my father. Leslie's negative attitude toward him had probably tainted the ones I retained. I couldn't recollect a single thing nice she'd ever said about him. Instead, I recalled conversations about his drinking, his obsession with his work, and his supposed affairs. His fling with his publicist still weighed on my mind, especially because he'd had it while my mother was undergoing chemotherapy.

  Was that despicable enough to write him out of my life forever? Dad wasn't the only one who lost out in that scenario. I did, too. But did I really want to reconnect with a man I couldn't respect? And what about the half-sister I didn't know? Baby Ginny. Should I allow hard feelings to keep me from meeting her even though those feelings were justified?

  The mall proved no better than school. I parked around front instead of in the back, of course, but was still anxious as I worked and dreading the walk out. Every tall guy in a hoodie who bought a taco came under suspicion. I couldn't stop thinking about the upcoming walk to my car, even though the lot was way brighter and there would be people making the same trek.

  Shannon asked over and over if I were okay. Analena cut me no slack. I couldn't count the times she yelled at me and got so frustrated at one point that I almost walked out. Luckily she left around six when her teenage son Julio showed up. Though he wasn't as old as most of us, he was still the "boss" in her absence. But where Analena yelled, he joked around and shamelessly flirted with the female crew, which also had an adverse effect on efficiency. And clean up after closing was accomplished way faster than usual because he always had someplace to be.

  At around ten-thirty, I walked out of the mall with straggling customers and my coworkers, my stomach in knots even though I was perfectly safe. Just as I started across the lot to my car, Zander's truck wheeled in. He stopped beside me and shoved the passenger door open. "I thought you got off at eleven."

  "We were early tonight." Thrilled he was there, I hopped aboard and leaned across the console to give him a sideways hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

  "Hey, I've got your six."

  Although I didn't know what that meant e
xactly, I could guess. As he drove me to my car, I looked back and found that we were the object of many a curious stare, Shannon's among them. I didn't mind. Zander's having my back meant everything.

  He followed me home. On entering the apartment, I realized he'd had a very busy day unpacking the boxes and moving the desk and computer to a corner of the living room. I liked seeing some of his personal items sitting around amongst mine--a photo of a young family, possibly his sister's; some auto magazines, and what appeared to be a hand-carved chess set. I promised myself I'd check everything out the first time I could do it alone.

  Zander had also added DVR capabilities to the cable TV package, something I couldn't afford before. He apologized for recording the Monday night football game, but I didn't mind. Watching Zander yell at the TV reminded me of Clint and my cousins Dustin and Micah. Ages eight and six, they'd both played on boys' teams someone's dad coached, games that were hilarious to watch since most of those little dudes could barely hold up their helmets.

  I loved the feel in the room at that moment. Companionable. Relaxed. Safe. We could've been brother and sister except for one thing. I just couldn't think of him that way. Sitting there in his sweats and tee, totally focused on the game, Zander was just my type physically speaking. A guy I could easily love. In fact, there wasn't one thing I didn't find appealing, from his messy brown hair to his size twelve--at least--Nikes. Every thoughtful thing he did only added to the attraction. I just wished I knew how he felt about me.

  Around nine, Zander got a call. Since he didn't leave the room, I shamelessly listened in.

  "So you got my new address." Pause. "No, it's a duplex, and I have a housemate." Pause. "Definitely better." Pause. "It's fine. I'm fine. I can't talk about that stuff now." A quick glance at me and a long pause. "I've forgiven them, okay? I'm struggling to forget, I guess." Pause.

  I kept my eyes on the TV.

  "Yeah, well, words are cheap. Did Mom put you up to asking? Tell her I have no idea when I'll be home. At this point, never might be too soon." Pause. "Miss you, too, Ang. Bye."

  Setting his phone on the armrest, he caught my eye. "My big sister."

  I didn't comment or ask any questions, though my curiosity raged.

  When I went to bed later, rain slashed the window. It was a sound I loved. Nothing was cozier than being buried under a quilt, warm and snug, while a storm raged outside. I even liked the lightning and thunder...until I saw a silhouette outside my window. I sat up with a start and waited for the next flash. When it came, I saw nothing.

  Had I been dreaming?

  Zander

  Sitting alone in Riley's tiny living room, night-owl me admitted that Riley's liking football could be added to the growing list of her charms. Not that it wasn't long enough already. I could only hope she had a dark side that would scare me away.

  Chuckling softly at that ridiculous notion, I deliberately moved on to something else, namely Angela aka Sissy. She desperately wanted me to go home and make peace with the 'rents, probably so we could spend Christmas together as one big happy family.

  What a joke. At the moment, I didn't have the stomach for living that myth anymore. I'd tried to see things from their point of view. I really had. And I perfectly understood that their big plans for me had been crushed when I got hurt. But that was just it. Their big plans had never been mine.

  All the same, I battled with the guilt of "disappointing" my folks even as I fumed because they actually believed that I had. If every vet struggled with this garbage, it was no wonder the suicide rate of the military continued to climb. Damn. Weren't our readjustment issues bad enough without our loved ones piling on their shit?

  Grabbing my phone, I tried to call Kyle. It went straight to voice mail. I left a short call-me message. As I lay my phone on the cushion, I heard Riley's headboard bump the wall between us as if she tossed and turned. Was she dreaming again? I knew all about haunted sleep and wished for a split second I could crawl into her bed and chase her bad memories away. But seeing my battle scars would be the real nightmare.

  Impulsively, I called Domingo Perez, a buddy of mine. If any vet had his act together, it was him. I credited his wife Ella with that. Her and his two kids. He'd never had a chance to mope around once he made it home, even though he'd suffered severe internal injuries that compromised quality of life.

  "Yo, Xman." That's how he always answered. "What's happening?"

  "Nothing much. Just wanted to tell you I've moved out of the trailer park."

  "You left the tin ghetto?" He sounded surprised. "Why?"

  "This girl I met Saturday needed someone to share rent. I wanted to give you the address." Complete silence followed once I'd done that. I could imagine what he was thinking. "Don't read anything into this, okay? It's strictly platonic."

  "Sure it is. Describe her."

  "Um...smart, friendly--"

  Dom's snort cut me off. "I meant how does she look?"

  "Nice."

  "Can you be more specific?"

  "Five-three, one-ten."

  "Long brown hair?"

  "Roger that."

  "Brown eyes?"

  "Roger that, too."

  "Nice tits?"

  "Her tits are none of your damn business," I said. Dom busted out laughing, which told me I'd been had. "Shut the eff up, will ya?"

  "When Xman has just admitted he followed his favorite type girl home? A girl he met Saturday and now won't talk about? No way in hell, dude. I've got questions."

  "Tough shit. All you need to know is that we're just friends. I'm not ruining anyone else's life."

  Dom groaned. "This is insane. You blame yourself for disappointing your parents, for not finishing college, for not saving the world, for not dying. Come on, Zander. You deserve happiness just as much as the next guy. And if you think this girl can give you that, you've got to go for it. Now when can I meet her?"

  "Not happening," I told him, abruptly ending the call.

  I sat without moving for several minutes afterward, thinking about what Dom had said.

  Bottom line? A search for happiness had nothing to do with my move into the duplex. I simply wanted to protect Riley.

  But was it really smart to make her safety my daily goal, especially after I'd failed others so miserably in the past?

  Chapter Eight

  Riley

  Tuesday at UT was a repeat of Monday, right down to glancing over my shoulder every two seconds to see if anyone was following. That left me in a blue funk by the time I got to T&M, a mood not helped by Shannon's pouncing the minute I reported for duty.

  "Was that guy in the truck the same guy staring at you Friday night?"

  "Yes."

  "You've hooked up with him?"

  I turned to locate Analena before I answered. "Of course not. It's a long story that I can't tell you now."

  "What time's your dinner break?"

  "Eight, I think."

  "Crap! Mine's at seven. Maybe we could go someplace after work?"

  "Attention, everyone. Gather around me, please." Our boss motioned for us to join her.

  Great. Another pep talk. We lived for them...not.

  Analena got right to the point. "I've noticed that several of you are not parking where you're supposed to. The front lot is for mall customers only. Every time your car takes up a space, we lose a sale."

  Several of us exchanged dubious glances. Weren't we customers, too? And how could the mall stay open without people working there? That should count for something.

  "Mall managers have asked that all employees please cooperate as we gear up for holiday shopping. I expect my workers to do what they've been asked to do."

  I raised my hand like a first grader. Analena sighed dramatically. "What is it now, Riley?" She crossed her arms over her chest, clearly ready to shoot down whatever suggestion I had.

  But today I didn't have one. "Friday night I parked in the back lot. On my way to my car after work, three guys accosted me." I heard gas
ps all around. "If it hadn't been for a total stranger coming to my rescue, I don't know what would have happened."

  "Was the guy in the truck the one who saved you?"

  I ignored Shannon's whispered question. "The back lot doesn't have enough poles, and what lights there are, don't half work."

  "Did you report this incident to mall security?"

  "No. I called the city cops."

  Analena gaped at me. "Without asking anyone if you should?"

  Behind me, I heard whispers.

  "Is she for real?"

  "What a bitch."

  "She's got to be kidding!"

  I pretended not to hear. "I need permission to call 9-1- 1?"

  Clearly furious, Analena opened her mouth, but snapped it shut again. "All we need is for customers to panic because they think the mall has security issues. Now I've told you what is expected. How many of you have parked in the wrong area today?" Yep. She'd blown me off, as usual.

  Five of us raised our hands, all females, even though I knew dang well the guys weren't parking in back, either.

  "Shannon, go move your car. Riley, you go when she gets back. Heather, Marie, and Rachel you go after that. Now everyone get to work. We have hungry customers."

  Grumbling, we all resumed the life and death business--in our boss's eyes, anyway--of selling tacos. Did I move my car from the front lot to the back when Shannon returned? Absolutely not. Just the thought of later exiting the building into that dark area made me sick to my stomach. Although Zander had shown up last night, I didn't expect him tonight. So I told Heather to go ahead. Did Analena notice that I didn't do as commanded? Of course.

  I made sure of it.

  And it was with great glee that she fired me the moment the lunch crowd thinned out. On my way home, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. T&M had never been a good fit, but I still felt like a failure. I mean, how many people got fired from a job that consisted of stuffing tacos in a sack? And there couldn't have been a worse time to be unemployed, what with Christmas right around the corner. But I couldn't let Analena dictate my safety. I was responsible for that. Me. I'd find another job.