by Joachim Jean
“Don’t start a fight you can’t finish,” Cara said, a smile stealing over her face. “Come with me. Time to pick up Sarah.”
“You go. I’m kinda tired.” Grace retreated to her room and closed the door. Lying on her bed, she thought about her life. Jake’s changed. He’s not that drunken, grabby guy he was. What happened? Maybe I didn’t know him. I don’t want to like him, but I do. What will I do if he finds out who I really am…what I’ve done?
She shuddered as a feeling of sadness pushed out her warm ones from their date. Once he finds out, it’ll be all over. Depression at the thought of losing his affection weighed her down. She closed her eyes to shut out the sense of loss she was dreading and fell asleep.
* * * *
A week later, Grace returned from her dance lesson with Jake. They had worked on the Viennese Waltz. Gliding across the floor in Jake’s arms had been heaven. She had given up building a wall around her heart and began to let him in little by little. Then Cara dropped a bomb.
“You don’t need to stay after the show tonight.”
“Why not?”
“Gunther Quill is in town for a couple of days. He’s stopping by to talk about a new movie he’s producing.”
Grace dropped a dish that she was carrying into the kitchen. It shattered on the floor. “Gunther Quill?”
“Gracie! Are you hurt?” The two women stooped down to clean up the broken china.
“I’m fine.” But the fluttering in her stomach belied her statement. He’s going to be at the theater? Queasiness filled her and she ran to throw up.
“Are you sick?” Cara asked, standing in the doorway of Grace’s room.
She shook her head.
“You’re not pregnant, are you?” Grace shot a hostile look at her sister. “Whew! Good. Maybe you ate something bad.”
“I’ll be okay, Cara. Give me a minute.” Grace closed the door and willed away her tears. Her legs wobbled like Jell-O, forcing her to sink down on the bed. I can do this. I will do this. I won’t fall apart. What happened, happened, it’s over. Done. Moving on. No one knows, and I have to keep it that way.
Within an hour, the women were in the car, and Bobby was winding the vehicle through a snarl of rush hour traffic, transporting them to the theater. Gracie forced her hand to stop shaking so she could help Cara apply her makeup.
As she was walking to the refrigerator to get juice, Jake grabbed her arm and pulled her into his dressing room. “You look good.”
“In a T-shirt and jeans?”
“Yeah.” The glow in his eyes lit a small fire inside her. “We need to practice our waltz.”
“I know. Dorrie has open time early in the morning.”
“Early? Hard to rise early when I don’t get home until eleven. How early?”
“Maybe seven?”
“Ouch!”
“Try it. Maybe on Monday?”
“My day off?”
“You want to be good, don’t you?”
“I want to be great. I want us to win.” He eased her closer, resting his hands on her waist. “Wish me luck tonight?”
“I wish you luck every night.” She stood on tiptoe and kissed him. He pulled her up against him for a passionate kiss then angled his head to deepen it. Gracie couldn’t breathe, her heart rate jumped, and heat traveled through her.
When she regained her senses, she pushed away gently. “Hey, save it for the audience.” But her breath was ragged, and her face was flushed.
“You’re beautiful when you’ve been well-kissed,” he whispered. Grace reached up and touched his cheek with a finger then her palm. Would you be so sweet if you knew who I really am and what I’ve done?
“Grab pizza with me tonight?”
She nodded then glanced at her watch. “Break a leg. Almost curtain time.”
Jake took a deep breath and shot her an easy grin before he strode out the door and into the wings. Grace took her usual chair and focused on the play, trying to forget that her nemesis, Gunther Quill, would be backstage after the show.
Two curtain calls. Not bad for a Thursday. Gracie stood ready with a bottle of water for Cara. Jake disappeared on the other side.
“What time is it?”
Grace glanced at her watch. “Ten fifteen.”
“Oh, God, Gunther is probably already here!” Cara rushed down the corridor to her dressing room. Grace heard the familiar voice as soon as Cara opened the door.
“Give me a minute to change…” Cara said, leaving Gunther in the hall.
He peered at Grace like a mountain lion that has spotted an unsuspecting rabbit. She could see his eyes glow, even as she started to back up. “No problem, Cara. Take your time. I have all night.”
The gleam of his white teeth visible in his mirthless smile gave her the chills. She retreated until she found herself on the empty stage. Crew members had scattered to return to their homes. It was deserted and quiet.
Gunther advanced toward her. “Well, well. Ms. Grace Brewster. You’re looking very tempting tonight. I see a bare table…” With the grace of a panther, he moved nearer quickly. Grace froze, like a deer in the headlights. “If you could bend over it, we could renew our acquaintance.”
Her mouth was as dry as cotton, her heart beat out of her chest. Gracie shook her head.
“Why not? I can relieve your tension…in no time at all. A few thrusts and you’ll be screaming my name.”
Grace stepped back, but there was no place to go and no one around. As he inched closer to her, she found her tongue. “Go away, Gunther.” She held up one hand.
“Don’t be like that. You’re a tasty morsel, my dear. I’m just coming back for seconds.” He continued to move toward her, his strides becoming longer as he closed the gap between them.
“Get away from me.” She tried to add conviction to her shaking voice.
“I don’t like to take ‘no’ for an answer.” As soon as he was within five feet, he lunged at her, grabbing her upper arms in a vise-like grip. She struggled, trying to pull away, but he held fast. She squirmed, turning her face to escape his mouth, until she heard a familiar voice.
“Grace! Grace! Gracie, where are you?” Jake walked onto the stage and stopped cold. His face clouded over. “What are you doing, Gunther?”
“Trying to make love to this little bit, but she’s playing hard to get.”
“Get offa me!” Gracie said, twisting in his grip.
“Let her go!” Jake hollered, crossing to them in three long strides. As he approached, Gunther dropped his hands. Grace rubbed the place where his grip had been cutting off her circulation.
“Fine, fine. She wants to play little miss virgin…but she didn’t before. No, this tasty girl came willingly into my arms in LA. Didn’t you, Grace, dear? Maybe now you’re playing with Jake, instead, eh?”
Gracie shrunk back, horrified. Jake looked at her, his eyes hard. “Is that true?”
She stood silently, her feet riveted to the floor, unwilling to lie to Jake, but unable to admit the truth. Jake put his hands on her shoulders and gave her a little shake. “Gracie?” She nodded once. The look of surprise and disappointment on Jake’s face squeezed her heart like a fist. He turned away from her toward Gunther, who stepped closer to Grace.
“Leave her alone. ‘No’ means ‘no’.” Jake insinuated himself between Grace and Gunther, facing the man.
Another voice joined them. “Gunther! I’m ready now. Come, let’s powwow.” It was Cara, who wandered into the tense scene.
Suddenly, Gunther’s hard, challenging look melted away, replaced by a placid, accommodating expression. “Ah, Cara. I’m coming.”
Cara’s frown increased when she spied Grace cowering behind Jake. “What’s going on? Gunther, did you do something to Gracie?”
“Just a little misunderstanding. That’s all. No worries, Cara, darling. Let’s go.” Gunther placed his hand under Cara’s elbow and steered her toward her dressing room.
“Gracie?” Cara called over her shoulder.
/> “I’m fine. Go.” Grace waved her sister on. When they were gone, Jake turned to face her. “Is what he said true?” His voice was low, calm, and very serious.
I’m losing him! But I can’t lie. She nodded, blinking rapidly. He turned to leave, but she grabbed his arm. “Wait! There’s more to it than that.”
“There usually is. Unless you’re just a slut…” She stepped back as his words stung her like a thousand bees. “But then if you were a slut, you’d have slept with me on that first date. Slept with that sleazebag, but not me.” Jake shook his head slowly. “And he’s engaged. Grace, who are you?”
“I made a mistake. He promised—” Emotion choked her.
“Oh, he promised? You slept with him as a payback? Whoa, lady. Slut it is!” He backed up.
“No, wait. It’s not like that…I…I…” Tears, no longer contained, cascaded down her cheeks. Don’t leave me. She could see him soften a little. “Please don’t leave. Please. Let me explain. I was stupid. He, he…please.” Sobbing into her hands, Grace thought her heart would break until a pair of strong arms enveloped her. Peeking up, she saw concern and questions in Jake’s eyes.
Resting her head on his chest, she continued to cry softly. It’s going to come out now. Maybe not all of it…but some. I can’t stop. Can’t leave him with lies.
“He was forcing himself on you. I saw that.” He pulled a handkerchief out of his back pocket and handed it to her. She wiped her nose and eyes before clutching the white material in a desperate grip.
“Can I tell you? Can we find somewhere quiet to go?”
“Yeah. The pizza place two blocks up has a backroom. It’s almost always empty.”
They headed toward the door until Gracie skidded to a halt. “Wait! My coat is in Cara’s dressing room. Gunther is in there. I don’t want to see him.”
“I’ll get it. What color?”
“Dark rose.”
“Rose?” He smiled. “Uh…what’s rose, red?”
“Sorry. Dark pink.”
When they reached Cara’s door, Jake knocked. Cara opened it and shot a questioning look at Grace. “Are you all right, Pookie?”
Grace avoided her gaze and stared at the ground. “I’m okay.”
“Came to get her coat. We’re going for pizza.” Jake pushed into the small room, his eyes searching for the jacket. He retrieved it and shot an angry look at Gunther, who shrugged. Jake held it out for Gracie. “We won’t be late, Cara,” Jake said, taking Grace’s hand and pulling her toward the exit.
“Later, Pookie,” Cara called.
* * * *
Grace folded her fingers around Jake’s as they walked, but he slipped his hand away from her and put it in his jacket pocket. His action was like a small, sharp knife jabbing her. If he doesn’t believe me, then why is he coming to listen to my side?
Two slices of pizza with a beer for Jake. Only a glass of wine for Gracie. When she was upset, her appetite disappeared. While he ate, she sucked in air and blew it out, organizing her thoughts.
“I feel you hanging back, removed…suspicious. Why are we here?”
“Truth? You gave me a second chance after I behaved like a jerk on our first date. Thought I ought to hear you out before we split.”
Her breath caught in her throat, and her heart stopped beating. Before we split? The sting behind Gracie’s eyes alerted her that tears threatened, but she blinked rapidly to force them away. I will not manipulate him with tears. She clasped her hands together to keep them from shaking. He’s going to dump you, so what? If you’re not in love with him, why does it hurt so damn much?
After taking a gulp of wine for courage, Grace began her story, starting with the suggestion from Skip that she send her manuscript to Gunther.
“And you didn’t know he was engaged?” Jake trained a cool eye on her.
“I always check for a wedding band, first. Then look on a man’s desk for a portrait of his family. Gunther didn’t have one picture of his fiancée, of any human being at all.” She played with a napkin.
“He seduced you? Really? You want me to believe that kinda thing still happens?” Jake tilted back in his chair.
“I was naïve…okay, maybe just plain stupid. He said he’d read my script, and I’ve worked so hard…and waited so long to have my shot. So I believed him. Cara’s a huge success, but I can’t seem to even get started,” she said, blinking rapidly again to stave off the invasion of another gush of tears, her voice growing smaller.
“All I wanted was a shot, a reading. No promise to make a movie out of it. Just a chance. The script is good. It’d have sold itself, Skip said so. I expected Gunther to say he’d read it, at least the treatment, maybe then the script. But he didn’t…had no intention…instead I got…duped, betrayed, lied to…and yeah, seduced.”
Grace stared at her hands, afraid to see a cold expression on his face. She heard him put down his beer but still didn’t look up. He reached over and lifted her chin with a finger. She couldn’t avoid his stare and looked back with as much confidence and defiance as she could muster, which wasn’t much.
“You traded your body for a shot.”
“Yeah. I’m not proud of it. It was a mistake, but…yeah. Haven’t you ever slept with anyone, then regretted it?” Her gaze searched his.
“Yeah, but I never traded sex for…a favor or anything. Just a bad choice of partner.”
“You’re a guy. It’s different.”
He kept his eyes trained on her, his face solemn. Grace slipped her arms into her coat and finished the last of the wine in her glass.
“I’ll be going…” she pushed back her chair but before she could stand, he clamped his hand down on her wrist.
“I’m not finished.”
“Oh?” She cocked an eyebrow at him. “Whatever you have to say, I’ve said to myself a thousand times. Thanks for the wine, but it’s late. I’ve got to get home. Nice knowing you.” But Jake’s iron grip held her fast. Please let me go with some shred of dignity.
“You’re not leaving.”
“Why draw this out? You pegged me. Slut. Please let me go.” Tears could no longer be denied and slipped past her defenses.
He reached out with a paper napkin and wiped her cheeks. His hand cupped her chin. “Not a slut. A victim.” He shook his head. “Gunther…that rat bastard, liar…lowlife! Fucking asshole.” He muttered so low, Grace almost couldn’t hear it. “I’m sorry this happened…and that you were afraid to tell me.”
He believes me?
He raised his gaze to hers as he took her hands and pulled her around the table to him. She crawled into his lap, and he closed his arms around her tight. She sobbed into his chest as he kissed her hair. In a minute she calmed down, snuggling her face into the hardness of his pecs and the softness of his flannel shirt. She inhaled deeply of his scent, mixed with a whiff of piney aftershave. The warmth of the fabric against her cheek soothed her. Can I stay like this forever?
He sighed. “What am I going to do with you?”
“I’m incorrigible. I know. Stay with me?” She tried, unsuccessfully, to keep the note of hope out of her voice.
“That goes without saying.” He stroked her hair.
“Does it?”
He looked down at her. “Of course. Look, you were naïve, I was a jerk, and Gunther was worse. Granted, different situations, but let’s forget both. Agreed?”
She reached up and pulled his head down until their lips met. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“Don’t thank me. I’m not doing you a favor,” he said into her mouth.
“Shut up.” She kissed him hard.
“Eh, buddy, get a room. This is a public place.” A man wearing a long dirty white apron and pushing a broom gestured to the door.
Jake chuckled, helped her up, and put on his coat. They left. Jake put Grace in a cab. “Until tomorrow at eleven.” She reached through the window to touch his face and smiled.
* * * *
“It’s times like this wh
en I wish I smoked,” Cara said to Grant as she paced in the living room.
“Why wouldn’t Grace tell you if something terrible happened to her?” He was sitting on the sofa cradling a small snifter of brandy. Cara took a sip from her glass then put it down. “I don’t know. She’s always come to me when she was in trouble.”
“But she has Jake now. Maybe you’d better get used to her leaning on him more than on you.”
Cara snapped her attention to him. “She’s not married to him. Hell, as far as I know, she doesn’t even like him much.”
“Really?” He raised his eyebrows. “She gives a damn good imitation of a woman in love, if you ask me.”
“Love?”
“Yep. I ought to know what a woman in love looks like,” he chuckled.
“Oh my God,” she sank down on the sofa next to him. “I think you’re right. Gracie has never disliked anyone as much as Jake. It must be love.”
“Whoa, what?”
“Of course. Makes sense. When she really dislikes a guy, she doesn’t talk about him. It’s like he doesn’t exist. But when she’s ranting about him, then I know he’s broken through her defenses and gotten under her skin.”
“She hasn’t stopped criticizing him and making fun of him when he’s not around.”
“Must be major love,” Cara said, a small grin tugging at her lips.
The door opened, and Grace tiptoed down the hall to her room. Cara pushed to her feet and called out in her best stage voice, “Ah, ah…no, no, I don’t think so. Get in here, Miss Pookie,”
Grace looked up, stunned. “Didn’t know you guys were still up.”
“You don’t think I can go to sleep after what happened…whatever it was…in the theater tonight, do you? Explanation. Now!”
Grace walked slowly into the living room and sat down. “What do you want to know?
Cara narrowed her eyes. “I want to know what’s going on, that’s what. The truth. All of it. Now!”
Chapter Six
The roar of the engine as the plane taxied down the runway had always thrilled Grace. This time, with Jake settled next to her in first class, her heart was thumping with excitement that had nothing to do with the take-off.