by Love Belvin
“I’m…scared to…” He made a gesture with his hands. “take it there with you because it’s been working for…us.” Rut closed his eyes, dropped his head, and pinched the bridge of his nose. This seemed so hard for him. To speak about us. “Me keeping my dick out of you is giving me a view of a woman—women, including Coach Brooks—I’ve never seen. It puts you on the safe side of the cold…negative and manipulative ways of females in my eyes.
“This damn therapist challenged me to some shit I ain’t take seriously at first. I just wanted to prove I wasn’t thirsty for ass. I could be selective and disciplined. I just didn’t expect to get to know a beautiful side of you and a trusting side to Coach Brooks. You, her, and this fuckin’ head doctor don’t ask for shit outside of honesty from me. No money, no hookups, no sex.”
I winced, closing my eyes in shame. “I think I just did.”
“Yeah, but I don’t feel you’re trying to do it to manipulate me. I just feel—” He heaved in a quick breath. “I feel like the ineligible receiver you said Wright was. I just want to be the right kind, but I know I’m gonna fuck this up.”
“Why do you say that? How do you know?”
“Because I ain’t have a girl since high school and I damn sure don’t know what to do with a woman.”
“What were you supposed to do with Emily?” My eyes fell.
Those words felt shameful.
“Just chill with her. C’mon, Parker. You know that’s industry shit. It’s for gain.”
“Can I take a few seconds to be liberal with jealousy?” I bit my lip.
“Whatever the hell that means. Yeah.”
“It’s what you felt when you saw those flowers and learned they were from Terrance.”
Rut shook his head. “Let’s get back to your jealous. I can stomach that better.”
I rolled my eyes.
“It looked like more than business in those pictures.”
“What pictures?”
“All of them. The ones with her brother at the restaurant. The ones of you dancing with her at her mother’s shindig. They all looked…” I rocked my head, girdling my true feelings. “More intimate than what I feel we have as friends. The laughing, the—”
“The laughing at the restaurant was probably me clowning her brother’s corny ass for ordering up the whole damn menu. The smiling while dancing with Emily was right after I learned she’s fucking her moms’ ex. Now I got leverage for when I’m photographed taking you out of the fuckin’ country, something I don’t know when or how will happen.”
My mouth dropped.
“Wait a minute. Emily sleeping with her mother’s ex delights you?”
“That and the twenty-seven million-dollar deal I’m about to sign with Ase Garb this afternoon. I’m happy out my ass, Miss.”
My regard was fastened to his lips when a routine knock on the front door sounded and I heard my name being called.
“That’s the nurse. Eat your breakfast. I’m going to say good morning.” I took off.
“Gray…” I turned in the doorway to face him. “I know my situation’s fucked up, but work with the kid. Be my friend until I get through these next few months of political bullshit.”
My brows met in confusion. “What does that mean?”
His eyes rolled over to the bouquet on the table. “No more of that. It can get ugly. Real quick.”
I caught the threat in his undertone.
“But you get to keep your friends?”
“I get to keep my peace of mind. You.”
I didn’t like that. I may not have been a feminist lion like my mother, inga, but I believed in the simplicity of intimate relationships. I turned to leave again.
“Aye,” he called out. I turned to find him switching weight on his hips, once again appearing incredibly uncomfortable. “I do want your ass.” My eyes fell to the floor, embarrassed. “I’m gonna talk to the head doctor.”
I nodded without my eyes and left for Jimmy’s room.
~Sixteen
“Well,” she let out a deep breath. “That’s your hour, Amare.”
Already?
It sure as hell didn’t feel like it. As I lay on my back on the chaise, I pulled my phone and saw it was five minutes before my hour was done.
I sat up. “That was painless.”
The head doctor smiled. “It usual is when you open up.”
“Ain’t nobody do all that.” I scoffed. “I guess I’m getting used to your questions.” Standing to my feet, I stretched with my arms toward the ceiling. I was tired as fuck. “Oh, and thanks for the good report. My DPS, Nate, told me he got a copy of a satisfactory update on these sessions.”
“We did make a deal.”
“That’s what’s up. Thanks for the early dismissal.”
“You’ve had an eventful week with the press and all.” She typed into her iPad. “No need to belabor you.”
“It damn sure has been,” I breathed.
And it wasn’t over. For a week and a half, a camera crew from a sports network, WAWG, would be following my prep for the season as a rookie to the league. This was another opportunity Love In Action was able to make happen for me to get my name and face out there. It was bullshit considering they did it at the end of June instead of July when I’d actually be prepping for the season. The upside of it was being interviewed by fine ass Wil Cunningham—now—Bishop. She married a fellow King, Ramsey Bishop, recently. It was cool talking to an athlete and not just a journalist or spectator about sports. Coach Brooks was teaching me to appreciate that.
But the past two weeks had been long and brutal. I stayed more nights at my place than I preferred because they shot footage from there. I even had my moms come up for a few days for a feature. That was too much damn energy for me. And on top of the circus following me with cameras, today was Parker’s birthday.
It fucked with me how I couldn’t take her away or out for the day to celebrate. That meant I had to find other ways to celebrate her. Along with the shit I started planning when in L.A. a couple of weeks ago, I bought her a few things all week and had them shipped to her place. It was the least I could do with the camera crew around.
Now it was time to get to her. I’d be staying the night there and getting much needed sleep on her tit.
“A’ight, doc,” I yawned on my way to the door. “I’m out.”
“Rut…”
My head flew back to peep what she was on. Her tone was different. Concerned. And she’d never called me “Rut.”
“I read somewhere earlier about your father’s release in August.”
I tossed my chin, telling her to go on. It was crazy she brought it up at the end, but that was probably because it was one of the many things I wasn’t open to discussing.
For a while, she didn’t speak. Her eyes fell to my sneakers somewhere and she leaned over her crossed knees in her chair.
“Fifteen years is a long time for a nine-year-old boy to be separated from his father.”
Okay…
I snickered. “Yeah. Kinda.”
She took a deep breath. “My point is, you’re an adult male. There were some points of growth—quite a few—your father missed and was unable to assist you with. Those opportunities are loss.”
“No shit.”
Where the fuck is she going with this?
“But still, there are social-emotional developments he’ll be helpless on.”
I stepped back into the office. “What do you mean?”
“In several ways, you’re still developing emotionally. It’s a topic I’d love to explore with you but understand your limited desire of therapy. However, there may be conflict between your life views and your father’s. His world perspective has been blocked off by towers and barbwire. Your world view has been a tad broader than the average black man your age. If you’re looking for him to fully understand your viewpoints and decisions, he may not.”
“Why you say that?”
“Because he cannot. Long
term prisonization as in his case creates norms of how one receives, responds, and process. His emotional development has been stunted by institutionalization. He’s been programmed to regulation. The bounds of his world shrank fifteen years ago. Yours broadened several years after. That exceptional endorsement deal you signed last week is a remarkable example of it.”
“I get what’re saying, but I don’t get where you’re going with it.”
“I’m saying you’re a good man. No matter what your flaws are, we all have our vices and crosses to bear. You’ve made a commitment to success and have been sticking to it; these sessions are proof. Keep going. Maintain your self-esteem and don’t allow a narrowed-perspective mind advise your boundless universe.”
I could feel my face holding tight, my damn tongue, too. Like I said, I understood what she said, just not the reason. Too damn tired, I decided to not go any further. I nodded and walked out.
Instead of ringing the doorbell, I thought it was best for me to walk around back. That’s where her little “party” should have taken place. I could hear the theatrical sounds pouring from speakers the closer I got to the yard. The grass was sparse, naked dirt spots all around, but in the middle was a huge blanket of artificial grass with bean bag chairs across it. At the back fence was a big ass projection screen where “Happy Birthday, Parker” was in yellow. That wasn’t my genius. Ol’ girl from the agency threw that in there like she did so many other small but cute details as I glanced around yard. It looked completely different from the miniature forest I saw a couple of weeks ago.
“Look who’s here!” Mandee screamed. “Woooo-hoooo!”
“Yeah!” the nurse, who’s name I couldn’t remember shouted and pumped her fist in the air. “Go, Rutty Rut!”
“This was so cute!” somebody in their cipher cried.
There werea three other feminine bodies at the base of the short set of steps leading into the back of the house. They all waved and giggled. I waved back but didn’t join them. Yeah, I was a selfish motherfucker, wanting their birthday celebration to end so I could have her alone to make her a pillow for sleep. I wanted to talk to her about these crazy ass two weeks, share with her my pops’ thoughts on my endorsement deal, and apologize for giving my moms her number about this party I wish would never happen. So, yeah, I waved and waited for them to go into the house before I stepped onto the fake grass.
“I’ll be right back!” Parker yelled, wearing a big ass smile. That lifted my spirits more than it should have. “I’m going to check on Jimmy after I walk them out.”
I nodded and walked over to one of the tepee tents. They were small with black and white stripes. I didn’t get the purpose of them to watch a movie, but it was another one of ol’ girl’s ideas. I recognized Parker’s phone and crawled inside with the boxes I’d been carrying. I put them to the side then I stretched out on a big ass pillow and looked around. There was a clear view of the screen outside. Two red plastic cups were against the canvas. I sniffed inside and detected wine. Striped popcorn boxes were there, too. I stuffed a handful in my mouth as I pulled out my phone.
Out of the gazillion DMs waiting on me on IG, the one from Chestnut Cherries caught my attention.
dancing_cherries: Ur phone must be broke
I snickered to myself.
Me: I was gonna say the same about yours.
It was game. Game I was familiar with and could spit back. Chestnut Cherries had been blowing up my phone since Love In Action sent out the press release about the Ase Garb deal last week. I wasn’t stupid. I went into another safe DM. This one was from my cousin, asking for jerseys for her kids and their father. I told her to hit up my other cousin who had the plug for them through my agency. By that time, Chestnut Cherries hit me back.
dancing_cherries: mine wrk fine hit a bitch up you still owe me
I spit out a hard laugh. This chick still on that? Picture me owing her shit; I ain’t even know the girl. What’s crazy is I thought I would have by now. I hadn’t been back to Arch & Point in over a month. I O.D.’d on it the first couple weeks I was up here. Then I got caught up at Wright’s and hadn’t been back.
At first, I jumped when I felt a touch on my legs. She moved up my body like a snake. At first, all I saw was lashes, cleavage, and arms.
“What’s so funny?” She giggled in my face, biting her lip.
“Somebody reminded me of you.” I tucked my phone away.
She kissed my lips and my chest warmed. “How?”
“It’s more like what.”
Parker’s thighs parted and she straddled me. It was natural at first. This was the position we slept in at night, after all. She snuggled into my chest, her little arms cupping my sides.
“Nah. Where’s the movie? I wanna see what the ‘glamping’ hype’s all about.”
Parker giggled. “The remotes’re over there.” She pointed to the right of me.
I reached until I found two remotes. Parker’s mouth was at my neck, distracting me from figuring the system out.
“Baby…”
“Hmmmm?” Her soft lips were on my cheek.
“I don’t know how to work this.”
Parker sat up and took the remotes. She twisted around to communicate with the machines and a few seconds later, a movie was starting.
“What’s this?” I asked as she laid back down on me.
“A jazz documentary.”
I laughed hollowly from her weight on my stomach. “Who the fuck gonna watch a jazz documentary?”
“Us.” She kissed my lips again then looked into my eyes. “It’s my birthday,” she reminded me so innocently.
And even though I smelled the wine on her breath, I felt safe with Parker and her birthday behaving ass. I combed back pieces of her hair falling into her face. She was so pretty. Dark brown eyes, long lashes, and kissable lips.
“How was ya birthday?”
“It’s been glorious all week, beginning with the first gifts on Monday from this young wide receiver I’m trying to bag.” She smiled.
“You mean ‘tryna bag’?”
“I guess. I’m from Waterbury; I know the lingo, my G.”
“You’re a long way from Waterbury, queen. A long fuckin’ way.”
She smiled. Horns from the documentary sounded.
“You have a good time with ya girls?”
“When Mandee called me yesterday and told me to dress for my back yard, I didn’t know what think.”
Mandee was the plug for this. I put her in touch with my agency assistant and they got shit popping.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah. She told me earlier this week to invite my friends from school and back home but wouldn’t say what we’d be doing. I didn’t want people roaming with Jimmy…” She hesitated. “You know what I mean.” Parker shrugged. “So I didn’t invite anyone. Mandee and Nurse Jackie brought friends of theirs I’ve seen and heard of from them to fill the space.”
“How was the food?”
“Good. And the drinks, even better.” She dropped her head and kissed me, showing me how good the drinks were being to her.
Her tongue pushed inside my mouth and rolled around and around. Parker always tasted good. Pure. Even in the mornings, she was the best flavor. When she pulled my tongue into her mouth and started sucking, my dick bucked and I pulled it back.
“Whoa!” I laughed and wiped my mouth. “How much you have to drink, shawtie?”
“A girl never tells, Rutledge.” She giggled. “I ever tell you how much I love your name?”
“Nah.”
“It’s a mature one. Over the past month I’ve found that in you. I’ve found Rutledge and not just Rut. I’m glad Paula won that battle.”
Oh, wow…
It dawned on me I really told this girl too much.
“Thanks, Gray.” I smiled with gums.
She nodded and kissed me again. This time sucking on my lips. My whole damn body heated.
“Thank you for all of this.” She peck
ed my lips. “And for the materials for my lab.” Another kiss. “And for the lingerie.” Kiss. “And for the gift card for a new and bigger mattress.” A juicy kiss. “And for the white silk sheet bedding set for when I get it.” Kiss. “And for the set up out here.” Peck. “And for the chocolates two weeks ago when you were in L.A.” Another one.
I laughed. “Oh. You remember that?”
“I remember everything, Rutledge.” She pushed her tongue in my mouth again and rolled her hips over my lap. I moaned, holding her at her small back. If I went any lower, I’d be in the red zone. “And after all those wonderful gifts, I’d like to request another.”
My eyes were closed, I was so dazed. Horny.
I licked my lips. “What’s that?”
“I want you to cum in my mouth again.”
My eyes shot the hell open so fast they hurt.
“Park—”
“It’s my birthday!” she whined, pouting those lips that made me crazy.
My shit was rock hard. Still, I didn’t feel good about this. Having Parker rocking my mic was something I thought about before she did it a few weeks ago. Since then, it had been an obsession but…
“Out here?”
She nodded, biting that damn lip again.
“But ya neighbors can see us.” I tried to fight it off: Parker’s sexy ass and my cock’s need for her mouth right now. Her whole body. “Look how my legs’re hanging out of this lil ass tent.”
She sat up and widened her thighs. “You can scoot up.” She pushed me into action. “Just your feet’ll be out.”
“Park—”
“Please, Rut!” she sang. “Let’s at least try.”
“At least try? Like once you put your mouth on me I’m gonna say sto—”
She yanked down the top of her dress, her tits spilling out over the fabric. Then she pulled her arms from the straps. Parker shuffled closer until her hard nipples touched my lips. Fuck it… We had a little bit of privacy, music, and I could smell Parker’s pussy from underneath the little summery dress she rocked.