Three Times a Lady [Hell's Delight 4] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Karen Mercury

  It paid off. Twice clung to the handles of the training machine, and as Noel and Ewan slowly stepped closer, the panicked twist of his face could be seen. Was Twice panicking because he couldn’t see? “You bet your damned ass I’m pissed about that! The fucking U.S. Army just sends us in there to get blown up! We’re pawns, I tell you, pawns in their global manipulation of power and structure!”

  Ewan lifted his chin to indicate they should split up. That was easy for Ewan to say with a pistol in his hand. But Noel routinely stood in front of hundreds of thousands of gaping, belligerent, hopped-up people with nothing more than a microphone for a shield. The racquetball racquet gave him enough confidence to steal slowly to the left while Ewan went to the right. It was as though Twice was caught on the elliptical, or he was using it as some sort of symbolic cross upon which to crucify himself. He wasn’t even trying to escape.

  However, when Noel next spoke from the end of the row of training machines, Twice leaped a foot in the air. “Ralph, I totally feel for you. I had a friend get killed in Iraq.” Of course he did. Noel had approximately two hundred thousand “friends,” mostly friends of friends in the many social circles he moved in. Now he strove to recall what the guy, a fan, had told him about his brother in Iraq. He was pretty sure the guy had died in a friendly fire incident, but he stumbled on regardless, something he was accustomed to doing. “An IED blew up his Land Rover near Basra. He was instantly pulverized into a million pieces. He was innocent, too. He was just a pawn!”

  This motivated Twice to shriek, “Our people will never be safe in the Middle East! We must remove our government before more innocent young men become paralyzed.”

  “Exactly!” yelled Noel, stepping closer. “I couldn’t fucking agree more, Twice. What are we doing over there, anyway?” He had no idea what he’d do if he got close enough to hit Twice with the racquet. They still didn’t know if he was armed with anything.

  This question was answered in the next second when the door to the locker room opened a sliver, displaying the silhouette of a heavily bulletproofed cop, with a few more behind him. Twice freaked, whipping a pistol from his waistband, but he was pointing it at the reflection of the cop in a wall of mirrors. The mirrors were intended to inspire or shame the athletes using the row of ellipticals, and in his blind state, Twice had probably only seen the reflection from the corner of his eye.

  Twice shrieked like a woman, maybe knowing his demise was near, as he brandished the pistol at the reflection. The cop had frozen still, but Twice wailed, “You think you can just teach men to kill other men and they can go back home and nothing’s changed! You better think twice! I want this story splashed across the front page of the paper, or I’m going to use that asshole Alex Coldiron for body parts next! He hasn’t even printed any of my letters!”

  Everything seemed at an impasse when the bulletproof cop took a step into the workout room. Twice ran headlong at the cop’s reflection, yelling like a banshee, waving his pistol in the air. Noel watched in dumbfounded horror as Twice hit the mirrored wall headfirst—literally head butting the wall like an enraged water buffalo. In the cavernous, quiet room, the impact made quite a bang. Noel didn’t take the time to reason anything out, just rushed on ahead toward Twice, as Ewan was doing.

  Ewan luckily hadn’t had to use his piece. Twice had been running so quickly, and had crashed so hard, he’d knocked himself out. Ewan kicked Twice’s pistol off to one side with the pointy toe of his cowboy boot. Noel tossed aside his racquet, kneeled, and saw that Twice was bleeding profusely from the forehead, where the bone looked fairly caved in. Some of the injuries could have been there after Ewan’s pounding. Twice’s mouth was twisted and mangled, but his eyes stared straight ahead, unseeing.

  “Why the fuck did he run into the wall?” asked Ewan, his eyes flashing.

  “I hate to say, I don’t think he could see after we knocked his glasses off.”

  “No big loss,” spat Ewan. “I hope that poor I.P. Freeley guy is safe.”

  The partners were then overwhelmed by three or four heavily padded cops and hustled away from the body. They weren’t feds, and Noel recognized one as Officer Dmitri Marick. Officer Marick, a fan of The Friday Experience, had chatted with Noel on several occasions, offering his services and suchlike. Noel now took advantage of this acquaintance.

  “Officer Marick,” Noel said as he was rushed out the door and back into the gym’s lobby. It was near closing time, so they hadn’t had to evacuate many people before making their big run on the workout room. Noel could see the parking lot was taped off, and a dozen people already congregated there, gaping. “I just want to make sure you guys do know that’s Colorado’s Freestyle Killer in there.”

  Marick paused at the gym’s front doors, maybe not wishing to create an even bigger scene shoving Noel Butler into the parking lot. “Yeah, it was Autumn Chamberlain who called 911. She filled us in.”

  “Where is she?” Ewan asked, before Noel could.

  Officer Marick said, “She’s out there, in that patrol car for safety. Alex Coldiron is with her.”

  “Can we go see her?”

  “First I’ll need that pistol,” said Marick with severe gravity.

  Ewan hurriedly handed over his coyote and skunk pistol. “It’s registered to me. Hasn’t been fired in days. Which car is she in?”

  Ewan eagerly leaped inside one door of the cop car, leaving Noel to deal with Alex on the other side. “Where are the damned feds?” Noel demanded of the journalist. “Took a bunch of local cops to get a serial killer?”

  “Not here yet,” said Alex, grim-faced. “Andre’s still sitting in his grooming van.”

  “See? This is what I was afraid of.”

  “Well, you got him, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah. He’s either dead, or arrested, or both.”

  “His new truck’s around the corner on Godchaux Street. They found that Sacramento veteran Freeley in there, bound, gagged, and knocked out with some drugs. Tons of disgusting surgical implements, too.”

  “Freeley’s alive?”

  “Just barely. Look, I know you want to talk to Autumn. We’ll catch up later. Oh, and thanks for the help.”

  Noel and Alex cornily shook hands. Noel practically ripped his hand away in his enthusiasm to jump into the cop car and hold Autumn, which is what he did. He was so accustomed to lights, activity, and stress, he didn’t realize how badly he needed to hold her just to decompress.

  Problem was, Ewan was already hogging her. Ewan had his face buried in the crook of her neck, kissing her throat and jaw over and over, as though he’d never see her again.

  “Dibs,” called Noel, and soon he, too, had his face nuzzled against her soft, cinnamon-scented skin.

  “God,” Autumn cried, “I didn’t know you guys were going to chase him down! I thought you were going to wait for the cops.”

  “We’d still be waiting for the feds right now,” said Ewan sternly, “and Twice would’ve gotten away.”

  “Let us be heroes,” Noel suggested, “just for one day.”

  “But of course!” Autumn flung her arms around Noel and squeezed him tight. “You’re both my heroes.”

  “I had the gun,” Ewan pointed out, tugging on her shoulder to get her attention.

  Noel had to defend himself. “I had a tennis racquet.”

  It felt so good to feel Autumn laughing, her generous boobs jiggling against his chest. “Oh, God,” she said weakly. “I’m just glad you made it out of there. I know you have to tell your story to the cops but afterwards, let’s go back to your old house on Devin’s land. It’s bigger and—”

  “—and we already have a spanking bench installed in one of the bedrooms,” Ewan added devilishly.

  “—and there are less neighbors around.” Autumn squeezed both men now, kissing their foreheads, their eyes, over and over, taking turns bestowing her affection.

  “I want you to look at my house plans,” Noel murmured in between kisses, “because I want to k
now what kind of a kitchen you want.”

  “Oh, right,” said Ewan. “Make the woman cook.”

  “Hey,” said Noel. “You don’t want my cooking. Irishmen are worse than Englishmen.”

  “He’s right,” said Ewan. “Unless you want Guinness or whiskey added to everything, he’s not your man.”

  Autumn sighed deeply, relaxing back into the seat. “He’s my man,” she affirmed. “And so are you. And I’m keeping it that way.”

  Noel had never felt safer, more protected, than now in the arms of his lovers. He wanted it to be that way forever, too.

  Epilogue

  Hell’s Delight, August

  “Whoo!” JD Harmon, the former Giants pitcher, popped the cork on the bottle of champagne he’d just shaken. The cork could’ve done all kinds of damage in his Positive Vibrations sex toy store, but luckily it only took out a few fluorescent display dildos and some stacks of bondage rope.

  The other fifty people crammed into the tiny storefront hurrahed and cheered, too, especially when JD went down a line of empty plastic champagne glasses, sloshing the bubbly sloppily into each one. They had earlier celebrated in the Rough and Ready clubhouse, and now JD managed to mostly get the booze into the glasses instead of the floor.

  JD had every right to celebrate. The Hell’s Delight One Tree Hills had just won the Buckeye County playoffs. Ewan celebrated along with the rest of them, feeling Noel’s jubilance at having joined a winning team. Next spring, they’d play against teams in Placer County. Community pride raced through Hell’s Delight. They had Noel Butler and JD Harmon on their team. The star player for the Rough and Ready Rowdies, Damon Blanchard, was a guy whose only claim to fame was guesting on a reality show about rodeos.

  JD popped another champagne bottle. This one obliterated a condom display, but JD didn’t care. He raised the black bottle high and yelled, “My friends are the best friends, loyal, willing, and able. Now let’s get to drinking all the glasses off the table.”

  A bunch more fist pumping and cheers and pretty much everyone had a plastic glass in their hand. Women were piling in now, women who hadn’t been allowed in the Rowdies’ clubhouse. Lacey Jonas brought her newborn son in and stayed behind the counter. Ewan had a feeling this new baby was making Autumn feel like less than a whole woman or some such feminine thing. They hadn’t used protection the past several months, yet nothing had happened. Ewan had a feeling Noel was planning to pull something later today that might put the baby thing in the background.

  The only person missing was Rick Chamberlain. He had become increasingly unable to leave the locked-down wing of Leafy Pines. Now it had been two months since they’d attempted to take him anywhere. It was sad watching one part of Autumn’s life fade, but it seemed to give her energy to instill in other aspects of her life, determined to live life to its fullest.

  Ewan stuck close to Noel. It had been thrilling to watch him bat those runners in, and Ewan couldn’t wait to fuck the stuffing out of him. Now Noel, always having to be the center of attention, stood on a display pedestal and raised his glass to the room. An abrupt hush fell over the room as the star-struck revelers took note of who was about to speak. Ewan couldn’t help feeling a rush of pride whenever he appeared in public with Noel. He had to admit, it was kind of cool to be known as the hot cowboy who was banging Noel Butler. Photos of the three of them in and around Hell’s Delight had appeared on Gawker and other gossip sites, but Noel had always refused to address rumors. He said, “I don’t want to dignify that with a response. Denying it is insulting to the gay community.”

  Noel orated in his best Irish lilt. “Every man has to eventually stop warming the bench and watching the game from the sidelines and come up to bat. Today is that day for the One Tree Hills! I’m done with spring training and I’m at bat with my loved ones cheering for me. Life is a fickle lover, people!” Of course, a big cheer was raised at that. Everyone could commiserate. “Just when you think you’ve got a handle on it, life throws you a curve ball. It’s nice to know that now we have teammates for life—the One Tree Hills and every last ever-loving citizen of Hell’s Delight! Let’s raise our glasses in a toast to—”

  The last was drowned out, even though Ewan stood next to Noel, the cheers were so loud. People were even coming in off the street to see what the commotion was about, but it was already like a sardine can in there. Ewan reached up, gripped Noel by the hips, and lifted him off the dildo pedestal. When Noel’s baseball shoes touched the floor, Noel was still in Ewan’s arms, so Ewan risked a quick kiss. He was surprised when Noel flung his arms around his neck and kissed him back for much longer than one second. Ewan, already aroused by the tight fit of Noel’s baseball pants, dared to part his lips and nip at Noel’s lower lip while the crowd went apeshit with corny toasts of their own.

  “To a quick and easy death!”

  “May all your ups and downs be between the sheets!”

  “Here’s to Hell! May my stay there be as much fun as my way there!”

  In other words, it was the perfect time to make an exit.

  Grabbing Noel by the hand, Ewan made for the back door that led to the sex toy warehouse. Ewan had scoped it out earlier when he’d gone back there to find the plastic champagne glasses, instead finding JD with his cock sunk down Katrina’s throat. It was the perfect spot for a little harmless frotting, Ewan’s new favorite pastime.

  “Look, maybe we should wait for Autumn,” Noel said half-heartedly as Ewan shoved him back against a shipping and receiving counter. After the game, Autumn had rushed to their new home to find some nonprofit paperwork for Noel. She had gone into the lawyer business for herself, but as it turned out, a large percentage of her work had to do with Noel’s charities. At first she had scoffed at how Noel gave away so much money to charity. It went against everything lawyers stood for, throwing money away. But little by little she’d come around to it, to the point where she was devoting the majority of her time to Noel’s various causes. He’d even been able to fire one of his regular attorneys, she had been so helpful.

  She had also spent a lot of time putting to bed the entire Freestyle Killer case. As it turned out, Ralph Twice had been using anabolic steroids and human growth hormones daily in his frenzy to be strong enough to win his just cause for veterans. In addition to scoping out the pool where he could dump the poor I.P. Freeley who had been bound in his truck, Twice really had been using The House of Pain to work out. When he had confused the mirror for his enemy and rushed at it, he had simultaneously had a heart attack due to a cardiomyopathy caused by steroids, the coroner discovered later. He had died almost immediately, but the case was far from closed in Colorado and nationwide.

  Survivors and relatives of the murdered wanted answers, and the public fascination with the case meant that Autumn had spent a great percentage of her time getting to the bottom of who Ralph Twice was. Intriguingly, the criminal profilers had been mostly correct. In Twice’s unbalanced way, he was helping find a solution to the problem of gravely injured vets by sacrificing the ones who had been affected to his cause. She had even flown back to Golden to meet up with John Tremaine and some feds. It had been a fascinating case. Autumn and Alex Coldiron were founts of information for many articles on the subject.

  “Don’t worry,” breathed Ewan, nipping at Noel’s square chin. “I’m not going to do anything to compromise your virtue.”

  Noel frowned. He captured Ewan’s jaw in his palms and looked him in the eye suspiciously. “Why do you say that?”

  “Say what? That you’re virtuous? Because I’m drunk?”

  “Well, aye, but not the drunk part. You act like—”

  “Like you’re going to ask Autumn to marry you? Yes, I saw you take that cheap-ass ring that you put into the time capsule and place it in a fancy box.” Ewan wasn’t sure how he felt about all of the recent marriage hints. He shared the master bedroom at Noel’s new five-thousand-foot square house with Autumn and Noel, although he still had to spend quite a bit of time at
his smelly cow boss house. Of course Noel had told him a hundred times he didn’t “need” to be Hardscrabble’s cow boss anymore. But by this point, Ewan really wanted to. It balanced him out, the normal life of cowboying and being on the open range. His head didn’t get too swollen that way, knowing he was Noel Butler’s lover.

  Noel grinned mysteriously. “I know it’s a cheap-ass ring. We put it into the capsule fourteen years ago as a joke. Hedging our bets against our future fame, saying I’d replace it with a much better one later. Well, I did.”

  Ewan took a big slurping bite from the side of Noel’s neck. Noel smelled of fresh sweat, which was a turn-on, knowing he’d just helped win the championships. Ewan sucked like a vampire, knowing he’d leave a hickey like a teenager. It gave him time to compose what he’d say next. “I know you want to marry Autumn.” Ewan sucked some more, adding his tongue to the mix. He already had Noel squirming like a toad, and he slid his hands down the tight pants to grab two handfuls of shapely ass. “I just don’t know where I fit into your marriage.”

  Noel gasped and grabbed Ewan by the upper arms. Noel flipped him around like they were line dancing, slamming Ewan’s butt against the counter. Now the dominant one, Noel’s spirited eyes flashed with indignity. He grabbed Ewan’s bolo tie—he’d dressed up for the baseball celebrations—in his fist and rattled Ewan mercilessly. “Listen here, you fucking gaucho. You think I’m going to tell you to take your chaps and spurs and ride off into the sunset just because I’m marrying?” He punctuated the emotion behind this by grinding his erection against Ewan’s, pinning him to the counter. “Autumn and I both want you as a life partner, forever, no questions asked, no quarter given. You hear me, you fucking gobshite?”

  Relief and love flooded the pit of Ewan’s stomach, and he submissively offered up his throat to Noel. “I hear you…Master.” However, being obedient didn’t prevent Ewan from snaking a hand between them and nimbly fingering down the zipper on Noel’s fly. His fingers curled around the scalding hot tool as it instantly popped into his hand. “But I don’t believe you. You’ll want to be a regular married guy, a husband to Autumn. You don’t need me tracking cowshit across your eucalyptus floors.”