“That was funny.” He lets go of me, and pushes me off his leg. I fall back on my bottom and look to see the angry, red welt on my arm. “Should’ve seen your face, one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. You were wriggling around, and crying. Honestly, babe, I haven’t seen anything funnier.” He stands and goes toward the bedroom.
I keep looking at the wound, and I know it’ll need medical attention. “Trent, I’m hurting.”
“You’ll be fine, babe. It’s just a scratch. Put it under cold water,” he loudly says from the bedroom. “Then if you really can’t cope with that small scratch, put some ointment on it.”
I stand from where I was pushed to the ground, and run the wound under water. Then I go to the medicine cabinet and take out a small tube of ointment, rubbing it onto my wound.
“Trent, I don’t think I should come today. I’ve still got that paper of yours to finish.” I’m trying to stay here so I don’t have to go anywhere near John. “I really want it perfect for you.” I nurse my wound, and where he had pushed the spoon onto my arm, there’s an ugly, red mark. The skin around it is irritated and flaming hot. Just as hot as the blood is below my sensitive skin.
“No, babe, you gotta come. What kind of wife doesn’t want to come to her husband’s family Thanksgiving? There’s a long drive ahead of us, and you know how long drives make me. Hurry up so we can get on the road.”
My shoulders slump in resignation, and I get my handbag, not like there’s anything of importance in it. Just a small packet of tissues, and my purse which never holds more than my bus money, but I decide to leave it behind because there’s nothing I need.
By the time we leave, it’s near five am. The entire time we’re driving, Trent is silent with me. My burn is stinging, but I try and keep the pain inside so he doesn’t tell me I’m a baby for complaining.
When we’re about half hour from John’s place, a call comes through on the car’s Bluetooth. Trent looks at the number displayed and smiles. He then gets his phone and answers it, taking the call off the speaker.
“I can’t talk now, I’m driving,” he says. He listens for a few seconds and smiles. “Yeah, but I can’t now.” He keeps listening and nods his head. “Tonight, when I drop her off.” He emphasizes ‘her’ and I know he’s talking about me. “Okay,” he whispers in a soft voice and steals a quick side-ways glance at me.
I tune out from this point, I close my eyes and hope the next half hour is spent in as much silence as the first few hours.
“Mommy, can I have an ice cream?” Wade asks Mommy as we can both hear the ice cream truck’s bells come toward our home.
“No. It’ll spoil dinner.”
“I want an ice cream!” he shouts and stamps his foot. “I want an ice cream!” he yells again.
“I said no, Wade.”
“Hey, Lily, wake up,” Trent says and hits my leg.
Opening my eyes I see we’re at John’s house, and I look over to Trent, who’s getting out of the car. I get out and walk to the front door, behind Trent. “I should’ve made a pumpkin pie,” I whisper to Trent.
He knocks on the door, and John opens it. He’s holding a drink in his hand and his beady eyes go directly to me. He looks me over as if I’m a piece of meat he’s been wanting to try. He brings the drink up to his lips and steps aside to let us in.
“Look at you two. I haven’t seen you in a long time.” Trent walks ahead of me, and when I enter John grabs my bottom and squeezes it.
I turn my head to look at him, frowning at him. “Don’t,” I say in a quiet voice.
He licks his lips and then flutters his tongue at me. It’s disgusting, he’s revolting and I just don’t want to be anywhere near him.
When we go into the back room, which is set up as an indoor entertainment area, Mr. and Mrs. Hackly are both already here.
“How are you, dear?” Lina says and gives me a hug. “You’re way too skinny. You need to put on weight.” She wraps her arms around me and squeezes me.
“Trent thinks I’m too fat.”
“Oh, well, then…” She pauses then whispers in her lowest voice, “please eat more.” She steps back, and kisses me on the cheeks. “You’re my only daughter-in-law and I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” I answer her with a smile. I get a good look at her and see the dark circles under her eyes and her face looks haggard and sunken. “Are you okay?” I ask, concerned there’s something going on with her.
She smiles and brings me in for another hug. “I’ll be fine, dear. I’ll be fine.” She carefully places her arm around my shoulders and she walks us further into the entertainment area.
“Hello, Mr. Hackly,” I say as I walk past him.
“Lily,” he barely stops talking with Terri to acknowledge me.
Quietly, I sit beside Lina and say hello to anyone who looks my way. Martin is always the happy brother, and he’s not here yet. I welcome having him around because then I don’t feel under so much scrutiny from John’s lecherous, watchful eyes.
His gaze is always so sleazy and makes me feel very uncomfortable. He glares at me, as if he wants to consume me and rip me apart. “How are you, sweet Lily?” John asks when he comes into the room.
“Fine, thank you,” I answer coldly. I feel my shoulders stiffen and my body breaks out in goosebumps, and not the good kind.
“Tell me something, Trent?” John says, interrupting the conversation Trent and his dad are having.
“What would you like to know?” Trent asks.
“Whiskey, it’s good for you,” John says as he hands Trent a glass a quarter filled. “My question to you is, does Lily taste as sweet as I think she would?” he chuckles, then looks at me. Trent laughs it off, and goes back to talking to his dad. I suddenly feel like I’m going to vomit. What a horrible and poor excuse for a man. “Just joking, darlin’,” he says to me as I try to shrink into the chair.
I can’t stand this man. He’s so disgusting, with his inappropriate sexual remarks and the way his beady eyes always follow me around.
“Tell me, dear. Are you going to give me a grandbaby one day soon?” Lina asks in an almost hushed tone.
I look away from her begging, brown eyes. I don’t want to tell her about all the miscarriages, or the cause of them either. She looks frail and only marginally like the woman I met all those years ago. If I tell her, it will make her cry and I don’t want that. Instead, I lie. “We’re not ready yet.”
“You can’t wait too long, I’d like a happy home filled with love and grandbabies before my time on this earth is over.” Lina looks away and sighs. It seems as if the statement she’s just made has more meaning than she’s willing to share.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I rub my hand up and down her back. The moment my hand moves toward the bottom of her back, she winces and propels forward on her seat. “Tell me, Lina. Please tell me,” I beg her as I move my hand away at lightning speed in case I’m causing her pain.
“There’s nothing to tell.” She gives me a weak smile, and flicks her eyes over to where Mr. Hackly is sitting. “Nothing at all. Everything’s perfect. Well, it would be, if we had a baby in the family.” The joy in her words is contradicted by the sadness and heaviness in her eyes.
“Lily, can you come help me in the kitchen?”
I visibly shudder because the words are spoken from the one person who makes me ill. An electric bolt of fear tears through me and I can’t help but shake at the thought of being alone with John.
“I’m not feeling well, John. Lily’s just sitting with me, to make sure I’m okay,” Lina says as she squeezes my thigh.
“Thank you,” I whisper so low I’m sure Lina didn’t hear me. But she does, because she gives me the smallest of nods, telling me she understands.
“As we were saying, tell me about how the baby-making plans are going.”
“Lily, I really need some help,” John yells out and comes to the entertainment area door.
“I’m so
rry, I tried,” Lina says in a soft and hushed voice.
“She’s lazy like this at home, too. I told her to make a pumpkin pie but she couldn’t be bothered. She said she didn’t have time. Like the little job I let her have takes up so much of her time,” Trent always mocks me and my work. I hate when he speaks so badly about me, but I also know if I say anything, he will get even more vicious and nasty. Sometimes, it’s best to just shut up and not fight back. “Get up, Lily. Go help in the kitchen.”
Standing, the fear of going into that kitchen has hit my knees and they’re almost buckling as I slowly start moving. Terri’s sitting beside Trent and Mr. Hackly, and other than looking me up and down when I walked in, she hasn’t even acknowledged me. But now, she’s got a smug look plastered on her face. It’s as if she knows I’m about to be mauled by a ravenous lion who’s been starved and prodded with nails on a stick, just before being let loose to chase down its prey.
With my stomach in complete knots, I walk into the kitchen, where John is leaning against the counter with his arms crossed in front of his chest. “You need help?” I weakly ask. I’m terrified of this entire situation. Everyone is less than a few feet away and I know he’s going to try something, I can feel the cold snap of the stale air as I still when I reach the door way.
“The turkey needs basting.” He eyes the oven and then looks back to me. He’s standing directly in front of the oven, which means when I bend to get it out, he’s going to be looking at my bottom.
“Perhaps I can chop some vegetables while you do that,” I offer, hoping he’ll accept my alternative. But I know why he’s summoned me here, and it’s not to help him in the kitchen.
“Get the turkey, Lily.” He uncrosses his arms, and leans them against the counter.
I look around the kitchen for towels or gloves to slide the hot tray out of the oven. He starts chuckling, but the sound is forced and pretentious. I look over to him, and he has two tea-towels, one in each hand.
“May I have them, please?”
He lifts an eyebrow and smirks at me. “Sure, come and get them,” he says in a suggestive, yet disgusting manner. I slowly walk over, and when I get close to him, I hold my hand out to him. “Closer,” his voice has turned husky as his leer has become more revolting. I take another step, and he quickly darts an arm out around my waist and smashes me to his body.
“Please, don’t,” I beg as panic has now overtaken all my senses.
“I love it when sluts like you beg for me.” He licks the side of my face. I whimper and try to break free of his hold, but he’s stronger than me, and is keeping me firmly pinned against his body and his despicable erection. “I can’t wait until I get to taste that sweet spot of yours. I’m going to make you hurt, then I’m going to make you bleed.”
Bile rises to my mouth, and his words scare the life out of me. I’m hit with ‘fight or flight’ and I automatically scream and bring my knee up to connect with his groin. He lets me go as he doubles over in pain, but just as quickly as he buckles, he straightens and lunges toward me.
Grabbing me by the throat, he rears his arm above his opposite shoulder and back-hands me. I scream in pain as his strong hand makes contact with the side of my face, and he strikes again on the opposite side. “Bitch,” he screams at me.
In this one moment, all the air in my lungs painfully expels. My chest is heaving fire, and I can’t drag any oxygen into my lungs.
“What the hell is going on here?” I hear Trent yell.
John lets go of me, and I scuttle over behind Trent. He puts a protective arm out, a barrier between John and me. “He…he…” I desperately try to gasp for air. I bend at the waist and grab onto my knees, attempting to steady myself so I don’t lose consciousness and faint.
“Little bitch attacked me,” John says calmly as he grasps his groin. “She kneed me in the cock for no reason.”
“That’s not true,” I yell. “He grabbed me and told me he was going to make me hurt and bleed.” Wheezing, I’m still trying to calm my frightened body down. “He grabbed me.” I try to stay hidden from the beast.
“Lying, bitch. I invite you into my home, and this is how you repay me?”
“You’re sadistic and cruel. I didn’t touch you until you grabbed me and wouldn’t let me go.”
“Why are you lying, Lily? Why? You’ve been flirting with me from the day you met me.”
“You do flirt with him,” Trent says as he turns to look at me.
“No I don’t. I don’t even like him. He disgusts me,” I scream.
“You’ll be respectful to John, Lily. You’re in his house, and you’re a damn guest. Do not embarrass me,” Trent warns.
I can’t believe this, now I’m expected to thank him for almost assaulting me. “No.” I stand tall. “I will not respect him. Nor will I let this go. He grabbed me!”
It’s then Trent does what he always does. He hits me, reigniting the pain from where John slapped me. “You ungrateful, bitch.” Trent wraps his hand around my upper arm and starts dragging me out to the entertainment area, where everyone is standing, gawking at us.
Terri has a look of mischief on her face, mixed with contempt, as if she’s smugly enjoying the way Trent’s handling me.
“Wait, before you go,” Lina protests, and runs up to me. She hugs me tightly, and whispers, “I’m sorry you were ever introduced to these monsters.” She grips me tight, not wanting to let me go.
Trent pulls me away from her, and she’s standing, looking like a shell. A broken woman, saddened by the loss of something which once was her most precious gift.
Trent drags me out to the car, he pushes me into the passenger side and then gets into the driver’s side. “I can’t believe the scene you’ve made back there. You’re a damn embarrassment.” He reverses out of the driveway and takes off like a madman possessed, driving well above the speed limit. “I swear to God, Lily. I’ve had just about enough of your bullshit. I’ve had it, you hear me?” He grabs my arm and squeezes it with as much force as he can.
Silently I cry and look out at the blurry scenery passing the window.
“Jesus, Lily. I thought I told you not to throw yourself at John. Why is it, every time you two are together, you’re always flirting with him?” Trent goes quiet, and I’m not sure he wants an answer. “For God’s sake, tell me why!” he yells at me and slaps my leg.
“I’ve never liked him,” I reply meekly. “I told you he scares me, and today he said he wanted to…”
“Stop lying. You sound like a hopeless slut. Someone who knows she’s been caught in a lie and is desperately trying to get out of it. He said you threw yourself at him.”
“I didn’t.” I look to Trent who’s so angry his face is red with fury.
“I’m supposed to believe some common whore who probably slept with, who knows how many before I came along. My dad and John were right about you, I should get you fixed, because a bitch in heat will always bring home strays. I’m going to be a doctor, Lily. I can’t be worried about what my wife is doing when I’m working hard at the hospital.”
“I’m not a slut! I’ve never been with anyone except you.”
His right hand tightens slowly into a fist. His nostrils are expanding and retracting as his eyes are wide with rage. “What the hell did you just say?” His voice is incredibly low and contained. And that terrifies me even more than his actions. “I said, what the hell did you say?” He repeats himself, even deadlier and more eerie.
My skin crawls from the savage and gruesome tone of his voice. I want to open the door and jump out of the car, regardless of the fact he’s travelling at speeds well above the limit. “I’m not a slut, Trent. You know this because I hadn’t been with anyone else before you. And I’ve certainly never been with anyone else while we’ve been married.”
“What’s that remark supposed to mean, Lily? Do you think I’m cheating on you?”
I shrug my shoulders and turn to look away from him. Somewhere, deep inside I suspect he is
, but I also know girls like me don’t deserve anything more than what he’s given me.
“You ungrateful, selfish, bitch,” he says. I keep my head turned away from him, because I know he’ll only get angrier with me if he sees the tears falling.
The drive is taking forever, and I’m starting to struggle with the tension filling the car.
Many times I catch Trent fisting his hand, then relaxing it moments later. I remain quiet, knowing any words from me will only ignite the dry kindling surrounding us and create an intolerable situation.
When we finally get back to the apartment, Trent pulls up out in front. I unbuckle my seat belt and get out. “Here,” he says as he hands me the key to the front door.
“What’s this?” I ask looking at his outstretched hand.
“I’m going out, I won’t be back until tomorrow.”
“What?” I ask, perplexed by the situation.
“I need time away from you, Lily. If I stay here tonight, I’m scared I may hurt you, or even worse, kill you. Don’t wait up for me.”
“But I don’t have any money to get to work in the morning.”
“You need to lose a few pounds. You’d better walk.” He takes off and leaves me standing, stunned at him.
Walking up the stairs to the apartment, I open the door and take a deep breath. It’s Thanksgiving and I’m alone, stuck in an apartment that brings me no happiness or joy. Once, there were days when I smiled. Now, those days are gone.
As I sit on the small sofa, I take my shoes off and notice my right shoe has a hole in the sole. These are the only shoes I have, so they serve all purposes including work. Trent says we can’t afford new things, and I can only have the basics, wearing them out before I can get them replaced.
Picking up my phone, I send Trent a message.
My shoe has a hole in the sole. Could you drop off some money so I can go buy another pair before I go to work tomorrow please?
I wait for Trent’s reply. I can see he’s read it, but he’s not responding. I turn the TV on and flick through the channels, but nothing catches my interest. I wish I still had my copy of The Crucible, it was always something I could get lost in, becoming totally immersed in the characters and living in their lives. But Trent threw it out one day, saying it was taking up too much of my time. Standing, I go into the tiny bathroom and draw a bath, deciding maybe it can relax me.
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