By the time lunch comes around, I’m starving, but I also need to go get myself a new cell phone. I forgo sitting at the café for lunch, and head straight to the convenience store four blocks down to get a pre-paid phone.
I grab a coat I’ve borrowed from Shayne, and start toward the store. It’s cold outside, and I make a mental note I need to go buy a coat. Liam took me to Target on Saturday and I bought some clothes, but Shayne insisted she had a spare coat and not to buy one because the prices are so high, and to wait for end of the season when they’re on sale.
As I walk past the small café near work, I look in and see Max sitting at the counter drinking from a mug. I stop myself from going to get a phone, and instead find myself walking into the café.
I go and sit two seats over from him, and wait, like a cheetah, until he looks at me. I’m smiling to myself, because he’s picked up his mug and sipped from it twice, and he’s still not looked over to me. The young waitress who served Shayne and me last time comes over to me. “How can I help you?” she asks.
“What’s your soup of the day?” I ask as I keep looking straight at her. But out of the corner of my eye, I see Max turn his head to look at me, and his face breaks into a large smile.
“Today we have two. We have tomato and chicken noodle¸” she says and smiles.
“Hmmm,” I grumble as I consider which one to have. “I’ll have a hot chocolate, with extra marshmallows and I’ll think about which soup to have.”
“I’ll be back in a moment.”
I’m smiling, because I can see Max looking over to me and he’s trying to hold in his smile. “I h-hear the t-t-tomato soup is the b-best,” he says as he slightly leans in toward me.
“Really?” I turn to look at him and feign surprise he’s sitting beside me. “Max,” I say and smile.
“Y-you saw me f-from the w-window.”
“What? I did not,” I tease.
“I-I know y-you d-did, because I s-saw you s-stop walking.” He winks at me, and turns back in his seat, all cocky he caught me.
“That’s not fair. You weren’t supposed to know.”
“I-I can p-pretend. Look.” He faces forward, looks to the opposite side then slowly turns his head to face me. His eyes light up and he smiles at me. “Lily, s-so n-nice to see you,” he teases, pretending to have seen me for the first time.
“Cheeky,” I add. The waitress brings over my hot chocolate and puts it in front of me. “I’ll have the tomato soup please, I hear it’s excellent.”
“It’s our most popular. One tomato soup, coming right up,” she says and goes to enter my order into their computer system.
“You’re not working today?” I ask Max as I wait for my food. I stand and take off my coat, gloves and scarf.
“N-not until l-later. Are y-you on y-your l-lunch break?” he asks as he takes in my uniform.
“I am. I was actually going to forgo lunch and go get a new cell phone, but I saw you and thought I’d come in.”
“A n-new c-cell phone? Wh-what h-happened to your old one?”
I look away, avoiding his intense green specked, brown eyes. “Um,” I mumble, not really wanting to say anything to him.
“Wh-what is it?” he asks in a concerned and deep voice.
I look around the café, making sure no one can hear me, and then I whisper, “I left Trent. I walked out and left everything behind.”
Max’s eyes light up and he kind of moves away, as he mouths, “Wow.” The waitress comes over and places a bowl of tomato soup in front Max. “Th-thank you,” he says to her. But he doesn’t pick up his spoon and start eating, instead he sits quietly and stares at it. “Y-you l-left him?” he asks as he continues to look at his bowl.
I just nod and don’t say anything. It seems like hours pass, but of course it’s only a few moments before Max goes to say something, but the waitress places a bowl of tomato soup in front of me. “Here you go, enjoy,” she chirps happily and leaves.
Max picks his spoon up and stirs the soup before turning to face me. “You re-really left?” He eats some soup waiting for my response.
“I did.” I hold my breath and wait for his reply. But he continues to eat, obviously considering what I said to him. “Are you mad?” I ask when the silence becomes unbearable.
“Am I m-mad?” He looks at me and places his left elbow on the counter and has two fingers tapping his chin. “Am I mad?” he asks again, this time I know it’s rhetorical. “I’m the f-furthest th-thing from m-mad.” He watches for my reaction. I’m not sure what to think or even say, so I just eat my soup in silence. “I’m a-actually r-really p-p-proud of you. It t-takes a lot of st-strength to leave.”
“Thank you,” I quietly respond. “But I don’t feel strong today. I may have a few days ago, but today I’m feeling vulnerable and somewhat stupid for trying to make it on my own.”
“There’s n-no reason to feel like that.” His stutter fades to almost nothing. “F-finding the st-strength to leave is the most c-courageous thing an abuse survivor can ever do.” He eats the last of his soup. “My m-mom tried leaving, but sh-she kept coming back to him. It w-was hard for her b-because she h-had me. Sh-she thought it was better to st-stay with him, then f-force us to be ho-ho-homeless. Th-the last time she tried leaving, was the l-last breath she t-took.”
“Oh my gosh,” I say as I sip on the last of my soup. How does someone deal with such intensity, and survive it?
“It took me y-years b-before I was able to t-talk about it. I had a therapist wh-who helped me once I went to live with my d-dad. I used to wet the bed, too,” he says.
“You told me about what your stepfather did when I was sleeping. I heard every word you said, Max.”
He breathes in deeply, avoiding me and I can tell he’s trying to gather his thoughts. “You heard it?”
“Every word. But when I woke, Trent convinced me otherwise by saying he didn’t say what he did. I figured out he was lying and its then I realized you had been there for me more than my own husband.”
“I w-was.”
“It’s okay, Max. I know why. It’s because you see your mom in me, and you didn’t want me to suffer the same way she did.”
Max turns his head to look at me. “Yeah, that’s it.” He stands to his feet, and puts his coat on. “Are you d-done?” he asks. Why do I feel like suddenly the conversation is going in whatever way he wants it to? As if he’s purposely changing it.
“I am.”
Max takes my borrowed coat from the empty seat between us, and holds it out for me to put on. The waitress comes over and gives us our checks, Max scoops mine up and hands the waitress a twenty. “Is th-that enough?” he asks her without looking at the bills.
“Sure is, wait up for your change.”
“K-keep it,” he answers, as he leads us out the door.
“Thank you,” she calls toward Max.
We get outside and the cold air smacks right into me, winding me from the warmth inside the café. “You didn’t have to buy my lunch. Thank you though, I do appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’m sorry, Max, I have to go. I was trying to go get a phone, and I just don’t have time now. I need to get back to work.”
“Y-you have to get a ph-phone. Especially considering y-your circumstances.”
I hop from foot to foot, trying to warm myself in this blazing cold air. “I’ll go tomorrow. I promise.”
“Okay. Y-you best get back to work,” he says to me.
“Okay. Well…thank you for lunch. I suppose I’ll see you around.”
“T-take care, Lily.” Max turns and leaves, and I hurry back to work. As I go upstairs, I find Candace at her desk and she gives me another task to do. She shows me a report which needs to be printed, and I write it in my notepad so I know what I need to do next Monday when Candace is no longer around.
The day flies by, Dale comes up and stands in front of the desk I’m sharing with Candace. “Can I borrow Lily for about
ten minutes?” he asks Candace.
It’s toward the end of my work day, and Candace wants to duck out to get a coffee. “That’s fine, I’ll be back in about ten minutes,” she says, as she takes her purse out of the bottom drawer and goes downstairs.
“How are you doing, Lily?” Dale asks, as he comes to sit where Candace was.
“I’m good. Working through it all, one day at a time.”
“Have you had any problems with Trent?”
I shake my head. “No, I’ve heard not a peep out of him. Nothing at all. Maybe he’s moved on.” I shrug my shoulders and add, “I don’t know.”
“Look, I think it’s a good idea if you take my number, and Peter’s, and if he does contact you, let us know. We need to protect our staff, and him lurking around here won’t be allowed.”
“I doubt he’ll do anything to jeopardize his career as a doctor.” I shake my head. Trent really wouldn’t go that far, would he?
“It’s better to have people on board rather than not.” He stands and walks around the front of the desk, toward the door. “We don’t tolerate violence regardless who it’s against. We’re anti-bullying, and definitely anti-violence.” He turns back, gets a piece of paper and a pen and scribbles his number down. “Don’t be afraid to use it, no matter what time of the day or night. I’ve written my cell number, and my home number.” He hands me the paper and smiles.
“Thank you, Dale.” Dale leaves, and moments later Candace comes in holding a cup in one hand and a wrapped present in the other.
“Vivian said this was dropped off for you,” she says and gives me the box.
My heart leaps into my throat, and I quickly unwrap it, afraid of what sick thing Trent’s giving me. There’s nothing he can do that will surprise me. I rip the paper off the box and inside is a pre-paid cell phone. There’s an envelope under the paper and I open it.
A phone is important, and you need one. I’ve also given you my number. If you ever want to call me, you can. ~ Max
I smile at the gift, and make a mental note to call Max and tell him I’ll reimburse him for the phone.
“You got a gift?” Candace asks, as she takes a sip from her Styrofoam cup.
“He was just kind enough to get me a phone because I didn’t have time,” I say as I tuck the small box into my hand bag along with Dale’s number.
“Well, kiddo, you did really well today. Tuesdays are busier, and I also have to go over end-of-month things with you, too. So, try to come in early.”
“I will. Thank you for teaching me and being so patient.”
Candace stands, and heads toward Peter’s office. “I’ve just got a few things to talk to Peter about, but you can go, and just make sure you’re here at eight.”
“Thanks again.” I slip on Shayne’s coat, sling my bag over my shoulder and get ready to go downstairs.
When I leave work I start to head over to the bus stop, but Shayne pulls up. “Get in, good lookin’,” she calls once she puts her window down.
“Hey, I was just going to catch the bus home.” I get in and put my seat belt on.
“No need. I just went in and grabbed some things for dinner. I’m making pasta.”
“Yum, I’m starving.”
“Good, you can cook it then.” She chuckles, and I can’t help but laugh at her sarcastic sense of humor. “Actually, guess what I have for you?”
“What?”
“You know that girl who works for us? I have a USB drive with her manuscript on it. She said can you get it back to her by the end of next week?”
Wow, that was quick. “I can try.”
“Great. Remind me when we get home to give it to you.”
“Speaking of home, I’d like to pay you board until I can find my own place.”
“Not gonna happen. Liam and I already discussed this, and we both decided you’re not gonna pay us a single dollar.”
I sigh deeply, because it feels as if I’m taking advantage of their generosity. “I have to pay you something.”
“No can do, sister.”
“Look,” I start saying. I may as well be open and honest with her.
But Shayne interrupts what I want to say, “Would you take money off me if the roles were reversed?”
Damn it, she’s using the ‘role reversal’ trick to prove her point to me. “Before I answer your question, I’m just going to say this. I don’t want to come into your home and feel like I’m using you, and although you don’t see it like that, I will feel like I’m not pulling my weight. So please, let me pay you something or at the very least pay for the food. Something, anything for me to hold on to the small amount of self-worth I have.”
Shayne does a funny squirmy thing with her mouth, and I know she understands why I want to contribute. “I’ll talk to Liam.”
“And to answer your question, no I’d be exactly like you and not take your money. But once you’d explained how important it is to you to pay your way, then yes, I would.”
“You, Lily Anderson, can damn well manipulate me so easily.” I smile and look out the window. “I take it back, you can’t cook tonight. If you’re gonna make us take money, I’m punishing you with my cooking.”
I chuckle, and so does Shayne. Her cooking is amazing. Every meal I’ve eaten with them has been some of the best food I’ve ever had.
“Deal,” I agree. “Guess what happened today?”
“What?”
“You remember that Max guy? I was telling you about him the other day.”
“Oh yeah, he paid for our lunch at the small restaurant just down from where you work.”
“Yeah, him. I had lunch with him today.”
“Lily,” Shayne says with an exasperated sigh. “Do you think it’s a smart idea to go from Trent to someone else so quickly?”
“What? No, it’s nothing like that. We just had lunch, nothing else.”
“Did he ask you for your number? Or out on a date?” she asks in a ‘told you so’ tone.
“No.”
“No? Are you just saying that?”
“No, not at all. Actually, I was on my way to buy a phone, and I saw him in that café so I went in. We just sat and talked while we had our lunch. I told him I had to get back to work and ran out of time to buy a cell phone. A couple of hours later, there was a package waiting for me and he had bought me a pre-paid phone.”
“Man, Lily, he’s probably done something to it to track you, or some crazy weird ass stalker thing like that.”
“It’s still in the plastic.”
“Hmmm,” she huffs as she looks out the window driving toward home. “Really?” she snarls disbelievingly.
“Yeah, I’ll show you when we get home.” I tap my bag, indicating the phone is inside.
“That’s pretty cool then.”
“He wrote a note too, giving me his number and saying I can call him if I need anything.”
“Girl, don’t go jumping into anything.”
Jesus, the last thing I want is a relationship. “I won’t.” I look outside the passenger window. “I have so many things to work through, Shayne. The biggest thing is to figure out who I am.”
When we get home, Shayne hands me the USB drive of her friend’s book, and yells out to Liam to set up the laptop in my room. I’m going to have to buy a computer if I’ll be proofreading. I won’t be able to always use Shayne’s and Liam’s, and proofreading at work is out of the question.
I plug the USB drive in and open the manuscript. The title of the book is Love Is Perfection. I begin to read the prologue and before I know it, the story has sucked me right in.
“Hey, you coming for dinner?” Shayne pops her head into my room and asks.
“Yeah, I’m reading Michaela’s book. I’ll just finish this chapter and come out. Start without me, I’m not sure how long this chapter is.”
“Okay, don’t be too long, or it’ll get cold.” She knits her eyebrows at me, and scrunches her nose up. “Did you hear what I said?”
&nbs
p; “I was looking right at you. Of course I heard,” I say jokingly.
“Good. See you in a few.” Shayne closes the door and I go back to the book.
The book is completely intriguing, about a girl who was left by her biological parents at a young age to her aunt. The aunt turned out to be a madam in a high-priced sex club. The girl grew to become a woman who was taught sex is power, and with the power of sex you have a bargaining tool. I just can’t seem to stop reading it, but I know my dinner will be getting cold so I have to stop and go eat.
I quickly get up and go out to the kitchen, but all the lights are turned off and there’s a note on the kitchen counter. It reads, ‘Knew you’d have your nose stuck in the book all night. Your dinner is in the fridge, just pop it in the microwave. Love you. X.’
I smile as I read the note, and go to the fridge to get my dinner. I can’t believe it’s almost eleven at night, and all I want to do is inhale my dinner and go back to the story. But I need to be in at work by no later than eight and there’s no way I can function well on so little sleep.
I quickly eat my dinner, put the bowl in the dishwasher, and go back to read just one more chapter. When I start reading again, I’m sucked back into the world of the characters Michaela’s written. I get to the end of that chapter, and I can’t help but want to read one more. But my eyes are tired, and I’m yawning. Go to sleep.
Finally, at one in the morning, I close the laptop with thirty-five pages left to read, and I slide down into bed. My eyes shut and I dream. I dream of a time when a little blond-haired boy and I play in a field of wildflowers. Our mom and dad sit cuddled together, watching over their most precious creations. Me and my brother.
When the alarm went off this morning, it was the first time I can remember that I didn’t want to get out of bed or go to work. All I wanted to do was stay in my warm bed and read Michaela’s book. But, of course, I got up and got dressed and was ready in time for Shayne and Liam to drop me off. I even had time to activate my new phone.
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