My eyes flew open. He was looking at me with carnal desire now. What the hell was going on? I thought this was against the rules? He stopped and got off, and I watched as he retreated back into his closet. I was panting now. I knew I was wet—my entire being wanted him. He came back out carrying a black tie.
“I told you to keep your eyes closed,” he murmured as he tied the fabric over my eyes. I’d never been blindfolded before. As he secured it over my wet hair, he continued his massage in the same order as before. Neck, shoulders, stomach, thighs… and then he stopped. I waited. What was he doing?
“Spread your legs,” he purred softly, and I submitted.
I suddenly felt very vulnerable. I was lying on Alec’s bed with no pants, spreading my legs. On my terms, Charlotte. Alec’s words came into my mind. What did that mean?
Without warning, I felt his thumb start to massage my clitoris. Oh. Oh, my.
“What are you doing?” My tone was accusatory, but I hadn’t meant for it to come out that way. He stopped, and I whimpered in protest.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” I panted, hoping my longing would be apparent. “Please keep going.”
Without saying anything, he continued, thumbing me slowly, in circles. I arched my back, my whole body clenching in unfulfilled yearning. Holy. Shit. He was massaging me at the perfect tempo and pressure. How did he know? It wouldn’t be long now… I moved my hips into his hand, silently asking for more. Alec read my mind and slipped two fingers into me, curving them perfectly, hitting just the right spot. I arched my back again and cried out loudly. I felt Alec’s hand clamp down on my mouth: a silent gesture to shut me up. He continued thumbing me in circles, digging his fingers in and out of my sex rhythmically. I bit his hand. I was close. He went faster now, his breathing loud and labored.
“Harder?” he asked, and hearing him speak it sent erotic thrills down my spine. I nodded enthusiastically, and he upped the tempo and pressure. Oh. My. God.
I felt myself climbing, higher and higher, crying out against Alec’s warm hand. My whole body tensed, anticipating, and then, I was falling into a sweet, sweet heavenly release. My body bucked and I heard him moan. Yes! Yes! Yes!
He slowed, and then he removed his hand from my mouth and my sex. He slipped the tie over my head. I threw my arm over my eyes and started giggling uncontrollably.
“Alec, you’re crazy,” I whispered, watching his eyes shine with amusement.
“I believe I promised you as many orgasms as possible. Three a day, if I wasn’t mistaken.”
I grinned, remembering that morning.
“Thank you,” I whispered, stroking his thigh. He was still straddling me. “Are you…?” I trailed off. I didn’t know how to ask the question I wanted to ask.
“I’m fine,” he sighed. “This was about you, OK?”
“Are you sure?”
“As much as I want to fuck you, Charlotte, I’m not going to. I’m going to make you wait.”
“You’re quite the hypocrite, you know,” I said, ruefully. “That was against the rules.”
“I call the shots. I say that the rules can be overlooked this one time.”
“OK. Fine. So we’re still playing the stupid game?”
He looked wounded.
“Yes,” he whispered, getting off of me. “Now, get dressed.”
Before I had a chance to get off of the bed, I heard a loud knock on Alec’s door.
“Alec? Honey? Dinner’s ready! Can I come in?”
Shit. It was Ennis!
Alec locked eyes with me, clearly entertained while I looked at him in horror, mouthing expletives. I knew we were adults, but I was very clearly “just fucked”—my almost-naked body and flushed face were proof.
“One sec, mum,” Alec yelled.
He threw me a pair of sweatpants and I pulled them on quickly before taking a seat at his desk, even though they were five sizes too big. I hoped to disguise that fact by sitting.
Alec swung the door open and Ennis stood there with oven mittens still on.
“Have you seen Charlotte? I was just at her room and—” her eyes found me sitting quietly at Alec’s desk chair, while Alec now sat on the edge of his bed. “Sorry, am I interrupting?”
“No, Ennis, we were just talking,” I said sweetly. Please ignore my “just fucked” hair and the fact that I’m wearing your son’s clothes.
“Right, well, dinner is ready.” She looked at me, and then quickly winked at Alec before leaving, shutting the door behind her. I exhaled a loud breath of air and jumped up, intending to follow her out of Alec’s room.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Alec strutted over to me and placed both of his hands on my arms.
“Alec, you heard your mother, dinner is ready,” I explained, exasperated.
“Are you OK?” He was looking down at me now, and one of his hands had found its way to my cheek. His eyes bore into mine, burning with sincerity.
“Never better,” I whispered, standing on my tippy toes to kiss him. He accepted my kiss, cupping my face in his hands as he placed his lips gently on mine. The room became a blur as I leaned into him, clutching his shirt as I pulled myself closer. He pulled away, but I wasn’t finished. I looked at him crossly. He smiled and walked me to the door.
“I’ll see you downstairs, Charlotte,” he said, before he turned and walked back to his closet. I harrumphed and crossed my arms before stalking back to my room, unclaimed desire invading my brain. All of this teasing was making me crazy.
***
I’d awoken suddenly to a warm body cradling me. I slowly opened my eyes and glanced at the bedside alarm clock. It was only midnight. My legs already ached from gripping the motorcycle for so long today. I felt Alec wrap one arm around me, and I twisted around so that I was facing him.
“Hi,” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.
“Hi,” he said, brusquely.
“Did you really come to L.A. for closure? Were you really coming to say goodbye to me?”
“Yes.” He looked at me sadly now. “You have no idea how torturous those three months were for me. I told you—I thought you’d gone back to Harry. Why do you sound so surprised?”
“It’s just... Mary said something to me the other night, in Wales.”
“What did she say?” he whispered.
Was I really going to ask if he had been planning on proposing? No. I couldn’t ask. He told me. He’d come to say goodbye. Forget the lilies. It was probably just a parting gesture.
“It’s not important.”
“Charlotte—”
“No. It’s nothing. She was wrong.”
He eyed me now, inches from my face. He knew I was lying. But I couldn’t face the embarrassment of telling him the truth if she was wrong.
“I’m sorry that we didn’t finish our book today,” he whispered in my ear.
“It’s OK. Tomorrow?”
“Yes, love. Tomorrow.”
I curled up inside his arms, and Alec switched the T.V. off before falling asleep beside me.
***
“Charlotte, wake up. It’s snowing.”
I slowly opened my eyes, shielding my eyes as Alec pulled the curtains open.
Bright. So bright.
I threw the covers off, grabbed a robe, and went over to where Alec was standing. I watched the steady stream of snow falling, covering the grounds and the house. My rental car was a shapeless form in the snow. I giggled.
“Snow!”
“Let’s go eat, and then we can take a drive. There’s somewhere that I want to take you.”
“OK.”
He left, shutting the door behind him. I curled up in the armchair and watched the snow fall for a few more minutes before showering and dressing. I quickly dried my hair, swiped on some mascara and blush, and pulled on a pair of skinny jeans, a grey sweater, and tan combat boots. I grabbed my wool beanie and parka and headed downstairs. I saw Ennis cooking in the kitchen, and Alec sat at his regular
spot at the breakfast bar.
“Good morning, Charlotte! Coffee?”
“I’ll get it,” moving quickly so that I could serve myself. “You’ve done enough, Ennis.”
She smiled. I poured myself a large cup of coffee and took a seat next to Alec.
“What would you like in your omelet?”
“Whatever Alec’s having is fine,” I said shyly, glancing at him.
He was in a brooding mood today. He smiled weakly and looked down, playing with his hands. Was he nervous?
“Good. It’ll be ready in a minute.”
“Thank you, Ennis,” I said, giving her a large smile. I leaned in closer to Alec. “You OK?”
“Yeah. Got a lot on my mind.”
“Oh.” Like what? “Will I need more layers for our unknown adventure today?” I asked lightheartedly, gesturing to my outfit.
He answered without looking.
“No. We’re taking a car today.”
I nodded, surveying him. Something was bothering him.
“Here are your omelets,” Ennis said, placing plates in front of us.
“Thanks, mum,” Alec said glumly. He began to pick at his food.
“Thank you again, Ennis,” I said as she turned to walk out of the room, leaving us alone. Did she ever eat?
I didn’t say anything else as I devoured my meal, sipping my rich coffee between bites and munching on the fruit salad Ennis had placed in a bowl between us. Alec laid down his fork and I noticed he’d barely eaten, which was very unlike him. He cleaned up the breakfast dishes and placed them in the dishwasher without talking. I stood up and threw my jacket on.
“Do you have the book?”
“We’re not reading today, Charlotte.”
Fuck. Why did he sound so morose? I just nodded.
He grabbed his jacket and led me outside. The snow had stopped falling, but it was still frigid. He guided me to a nondescript black Mercedes SUV, opening the passenger door and helping me in before going around to the driver’s side.
He started to drive and switched on the music—I suspected it was coming from an iPod or something equally hi-tech. It was foreign music, not English. It was beautiful.
“What is this?”
“Sigur Rós. They’re Icelandic.”
“It’s wonderful.”
I looked over at him and he was gripping the wheel tightly, concentrating intently on driving. His brow was furrowed. I closed my eyes as we wove down narrow roads and then he stopped, parking in front of a large, iron gate.
“Where are we?”
Alec stayed silent as he punched a number into the keypad. The gate wrenched itself open slowly, creaking loudly. As Alec began to pull forward, I realized exactly where we were, and I placed my hand on Alec’s thigh as he parked along the edge of a curb.
“Oh Alec, why didn’t you say?”
Headstones lined the hilly grass in neat, patterned grids. Clouds had formed in the sky, which created an eerie, gloomy vibe. The cemetery was enormous. Closer to us were newer headstones. You could tell. They hadn’t yet oxidized with time, and the etching was still legible. Further away, the really old stones stood, daunting and towering. A few old maple trees stood over those lucky enough to rest under their constant shade.
Alec turned the ignition off and looked forward, determined.
“I haven’t ever been here,” he explained, looking nervous.
“Thank you for taking me,” I whispered, reaching for his hand. Luckily, he let me hold it. I knew how hard this was for him.
“I wish you could’ve met him,” he said, softly this time.
“Me too.”
He looked over at me and his handsome face was muddled with sorrow. I squeezed his hand twice. He squeezed it twice in return, giving me a small, forced smile. He ran his other hand through his dark hair, sighing heavily.
“Let’s go,” he said, straightening up and getting out of the car. He opened my door. It had started to snow again. I gripped his hand tightly as we walked up to the directory, looking for Aedan Baxter’s plot. When we found it, I was happy to see that his plot was located underneath one of the maple trees. We walked slowly, both in trepidation and also because the cobblestone path was iced over.
I kept looking up at Alec. His expression remained indifferent. He was hiding his emotions well. I gripped his hand harder. I knew that him taking me here was significant in some way that wasn’t apparent to me yet, and I was eternally grateful to him for allowing me to accompany him. As we walked to the section where Aedan’s grave supposedly lay, I spotted a large headstone with the name “Baxter” engraved on it—this was it. We were here. I tugged on Alec’s hand and pointed to the edifice. He stopped suddenly, looking at the large stone as if he’d seen a ghost.
We slowly walked to Aedan’s grave hand in hand, and suddenly Alec held back, tugging me into him, pulling me into a tight hug. He was breathing laboriously now and I realized with a start that Alec was crying. He was clutching me tightly so I couldn’t see his face, but I was pretty sure he was crying. That thought slayed me. I started to cry also, rocking back and forth gently as Alec gripped me tighter and tighter.
So this was what he’d been thinking about earlier when he was quiet. He’d wanted to come see his father’s grave, and he’d taken me with him. He trusted me enough to bring me here. He was letting me in completely. I silently thanked whatever god or being was out there for bringing me this man—this beautiful man—and making him love me so completely. Because that was obviously what this was: pure, unadulterated love. I was so lucky that this unequivocally good man loved me.
I hugged him tighter, gripping the material at the back of his sweater. Snowflakes fell all around us. If it hadn’t been for the melancholy circumstances, this would’ve been romantic as hell. I felt like I was in some sort of medieval winter wonderland. We rocked back and forth for a few minutes. Alec’s grief radiated through me, making me feel what he was feeling, and making me feel awful for not being able to do something. His feelings swept through every muscle and fiber of my being, ricocheting off of Alec and swallowing me. I silently willed his grief to enter me completely—to leave him be—to take me instead.
Finally, he stood back and wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands. Clearing his throat, he walked over to the headstone and began to talk. I stayed back, unable to hear what he was saying. I knew he needed this time alone. I watched as he spoke animatedly—about what, I had no idea. Soon, he walked back towards me. I smiled weakly. He looked better already. Thank god. Unhappy Alec was the most awful thing I’d ever witnessed.
He put his arm around my shoulder and led me back to the car. He was still being really quiet. I didn’t want to intrude into his thoughts so I stayed silent, hoping he would be the one to talk first. He pulled my door open and helped me inside. When he got in, he just sat there, looking out at the snow. My feet were cold, and I rubbed my hands together.
“Let me get the heater on. Seat warmer?”
I smiled.
“Sure. Thank you.”
“Thank my mum. She insists on buying cars with seat warmers.”
“No, Alec. I meant thank you for this.” I gestured to the cemetery.
He stayed silent and looked down at the dashboard. Finally, he turned and looked at me.
“Life is fucking short, you know? That could’ve been my grave. Before I met you, I was convinced it should’ve been my grave. That’s why I’ve never gone to visit. It was still too raw. But you being here… it means a lot. I don’t know if I’d have ever been able to come here if it weren’t for you.”
“It means a lot to me, too. I just want you to know that you have changed my life, Alec Baxter. I’m so glad you’re still around. You gave me hope when I thought everything had been lost. Life is short. That’s why I’m here.”
He looked at me earnestly, in admiration. My heart swelled. I loved this man.
“Yeah… about that. You asked me why I came to Los Angeles. Why did you come to
Ireland?”
“Honestly?”
He cocked his head playfully, willing me to continue.
“Lainey convinced me.”
He stared at me blankly, and then suddenly his eyes were alight with recognition.
“Please tell me you did not consult a fucking psychic about our relationship, Charlotte,” he growled, crossing his arms in exasperation.
“No, I ran into her. I didn’t consult her. That night. The night you came to L.A. I was wandering the street looking for you like a crazy woman, and Amara came to my rescue. We got donuts at this shop down the street, and Lainey was there.”
“What did she say? How exactly did she convince you to come to Ireland?”
“She said that you were my soulmate,” I said meekly, looking away so that I couldn't see his expression. I didn't want to see his expression. I can’t believe I just admitted that. “And she said I would go after you. So I did.”
“I see.” He kept his face forward, and I couldn’t tell if he was pissed, irritated, amused, or sad. “So if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t be here?” He looked pained now.
“No. Not at all. It might’ve taken me a couple of days, but I would’ve ended up here. I’m sure of it now.”
“Well then, I guess I’ll have to thank this Lainey woman one day, won’t I?”
“It wasn’t her. I mean, technically, it was her that brought us together, but I think it was more than that.”
“So you agree with Lainey? Do you think we’re soulmates?” He looked amused.
“Do you?”
“Don’t deflect the question, Charlotte. I asked you.”
I hesitated. I knew he was my soulmate, but did he think the same thing? It would be humiliating if he didn’t agree.
“Well, I’m not 100% sold on the whole soulmates thing, but if I were, I think you’d be a good candidate,” I explained, twiddling my fingers. I kept my gaze downcast, and waited for his response. Instead, he started the car and began to do a U-turn, heading out of the cemetery. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“I need a drink.”
Oh.
The Redemption (Charlotte Bloom Book 2) Page 11