Miguel waved to us. He was sitting toward the front on the left side of the aisle, with Mr. Gerrity on one side and another man who I recognized from my volunteer time at Dr. Mays’s clinic. I was guessing that was the “kill the anaconda” section. I was wondering where the “we’re just here to listen and vote for peace” section was when Cordelia Ramer marched in her troops complete with their “save the anaconda” signs held high. I noticed that Miss Augusta and Blondie Quinlin held to the rear and weren’t carrying signs. I wished the entire group was as sensible. The signs caused quite a stir on Miguel’s side of the room. Pastor John marched purposefully down the center aisle, picking up a couple of younger men along the way.
He stopped directly in front of the Guy Bradleys. “Cordelia, I already told you that you and your organization members are welcome but those signs are not. If you insist on bringing them to our meeting, then I must insist you leave.”
I’d never heard him speak so forcefully. I found myself daydreaming about what would happen if he spoke that firmly to Jocelyn. I shook it off as a fantasy for another time.
The room filled with silent expectation. Then Cordelia meekly turned over her sign to one of the young men who flanked Pastor John, and signaled her cronies to do the same. After abandoning their signs, they walked down the center aisle, heads held high, and settled in on the right side of the room.
The men put the signs in a side room and came back. By the time they took their seats, Pastor John was back behind the table and calling the meeting to order. Bridgy and I took two aisle seats in the back row and waited for the fireworks to begin. I was surprised to see Mark Clamenta come in a side door and sit at the head table.
Pastor John gave him a nod of welcome and explained to all of us that we had come together to find a solution to the problem of the green anaconda snake that had been spotted numerous times in Estero Bay.
Someone from the front left yelled, “Kill him and be done with it.” That caused a great deal of rumbling.
Pastor John pounded his hand on the table. “I will have order. Now, we have two guests here tonight who may help us find a solution that will satisfy everyone.”
This time we heard murmurs from both sides of the room but no shout-outs.
“You all know Dr. Cynthia Mays. Listen carefully to what she has to say.”
Pastor sat down and Cynthia Mays got up. She walked around the table and stood closer to the audience, which was restless at first, waiting for her to speak. She held up a hand to indicate patience or silence, I wasn’t sure which, but it was enough to get everyone’s undivided attention.
“We, as a community, have come together to solve a problem. We have a fundamental disagreement about the solution, but we do not disagree that having the green anaconda swim in our waters and coming ashore on our island is a problem that could result in tragedy.”
She stopped speaking, and swung her gaze slowly from one side of the room to the other and back to the center.
“I know that pet owners are concerned that if the anaconda is caught and set free in the Everglades, it might once again find its way north. I agree that is a possibility.”
I expected that sentence to lead to mumbling in the audience, but it didn’t.
Dr. Mays continued. “Throughout the United States there are dozens of serpentariums, or snake zoos. In fact, there are three right here in Florida.”
She waited a minute to let what she had said sink in everyone’s brain. “So I propose that we find a serpentarium willing to take this anaconda away from our community.”
I was pleased to see heads nodding in agreement all over the room. Mr. Gerrity raised his hand. “I’d be happier if we could send the snake out of state. That way if he escapes, he won’t find his way to Fort Myers Beach again.”
Cynthia Mays concurred. “Excellent suggestion. We will focus on trying to find a location out of state.”
A man two rows in front of us raised his hand. “I don’t see Fish and Wildlife here. Who’s gonna catch the sucker?”
The doctor smiled. “I’ll let my colleague, Mark Clamenta, answer that.”
Bridgy leaned in and whispered, “What does Mark know about snakes?”
Chapter Thirty ||||||||||
Mark Clamenta joined Cynthia right at the edge of the audience. “Hi, all. My name is Mark Clamenta and I’ve lived on this island for decades. I used to run a fishing boat off San Carlos Island. Now I’m retired and enjoying life, but nearly fifty years ago I spent some time in the jungles of Vietnam. Anyone else?”
A voice from somewhere up near Miguel called out, “Da Nang, 1970.”
Mark gave the man a full salute. “Then you know, brother. Nam vets are at home with snakes.”
The vet gave a high thumbs-up. “Damn straight.”
Mark smiled. “We have veterans with service time spanning from World War II through the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. They belong to associations that meet in this church. I’ve spoken to the leadership of each group and everyone is interested in helping. Even as we are here talking, there are vets hunting down the equipment we’ll need to find and capture the snake.”
“Then what?” A voice came from the Guy Bradley seats.
“Along with Dr. Mays, we will secure the snake until arrangements can be made to transport it off island and out of our lives.”
Cordelia Ramer stood, hands on hips and shouted, “And if none of your fancy snake zoos will take the anaconda, then what?”
Mark took a step toward her and I was actually looking forward to the confrontation, but Dr. Mays touched Mark’s arm and crossed in front of him to get closer to the Guy Bradley ladies. “There are dozens of snake zoos all over the world. We will find the anaconda a home.” She took a deep breath and swiveled her head to the other side of the room. “Any more questions?”
Several hands shot up.
In short order, Dr. Mays and Mark Clamenta established a committee to set up a round robin for telephone information to be sent out as quickly as possible. Bridgy volunteered to join that working group.
Not to be outdone, I volunteered to work on compiling a list of snake zoos. According to Dr. Mays we’d go for those most likely to be interested in the anaconda first and work from there.
After settling that the temporary shelter in Dr. Mays’s office would continue to be supported by volunteers, Blondie Quinlin and another Guy Bradley member raised their hands and signed on. I wondered if Miss Augusta was annoyed that her animal allergies kept her from helping.
Pastor John stood and gave one sharp clap. “Well, that settles it, folks. It looks like we’ve made great progress, and life on the island will get back to normal in a very short time. Thank you all for coming.”
Before he got the last syllable out of his mouth, people were shuffling their chairs, standing and heading for the door.
I turned toward a familiar voice. “Wait. I have an announcement.”
Everyone stopped, wondering what we hadn’t covered.
Miguel gave his name and address and pointed to Mr. Gerrity. “This is my neighbor, Liam Gerrity. We both own pets who like the outdoors and we live in the two houses at the end of Orange Gate Drive beside the bay. We are so grateful that everyone has come together to protect all the pets, we have decided to celebrate with a cornhole party as soon as the anaconda is caught and shipped. Every volunteer will be invited. We will make sure to give every committee chair the details to pass along.”
A big cheer went up in the room, followed by a round of clapping. Bridgy and I looked at each other. Cornhole? Miguel was surrounded by people, so we decided to head out, pick up my Heap-a-Jeep from Dr. Mays’s parking lot and call it a day.
* * *
When we arrived at the Read ’Em and Eat the next morning, Bridgy marched right into the kitchen to ask Miguel about cornhole. I followed along.
“You’re a ch
ef. It’s a food, right?”
He laughed as if he was sure she was teasing. “You never heard of cornhole?”
We both shook our heads.
“You come to the party and you will learn.” And he bent his head to the veggies he was chopping and ignored us until we took the hint, put on our aprons and got to work.
Later that morning, George called to thank me for arranging a day out for Regina and O’Mally. “It was so friendly of Bridgy’s aunt to take them along on her outing to that park, Ding Darling.”
I bit my tongue. This was probably not the best time to teach George the difference between a park and a refuge, so I segued. “What are your plans for the day?”
“Well, Owen Reston and another lawyer from his veterans’ legal defense group are going to go with me to meet with Goddard Swerling. I think they are in the best position to read him the riot act. I don’t have the strength.”
My heart broke to hear him so dejected. “How is Alan?”
“He’s getting good care and seems more lucid each day, so I think that his arrest will come shortly. Too bad. I was hoping to take him to the condo for a few days. Give him a little normalcy.”
I wished him luck, put my phone on vibrate and got to work.
The café was at its busiest. We had no tangible lull between breakfast and lunch. Not one table stayed vacant for more than a minute or two. Lunch was at full throttle when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I ignored it but when it vibrated for the third time in five minutes, I pulled it out and took a look. Ophie.
I waved the phone at Bridgy and then slipped out the front door. “What is it? How are Regina and O’Mally managing?”
“Everything is hunky-dory, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that O’Mally doesn’t skin Cordelia Ramer alive. Why, Cordelia actually nagged at us to stop lollygagging and tend to our petitions. Who put her in charge?”
I, for one, was sure the Guy Bradley ladies did, but I didn’t reply. I looked to heaven. Would Ophie ever get to the point?
Finally she did, sort of. “It is hot as blazes out here. Not a breeze to be had. So of course, every time I was able to drag Regina and O’Mally away from Cruella de Vil and her petition drive, I’d take them for a walk on a shady path and show off our flora and fauna. Did you know there are more than two hundred thirty species of birds in the refuge?”
“Ophie, we’re busy here.”
“Sorry, honey chile. Guess who I saw trying to be all smoochy smoochy–like with a man who wasn’t having it?”
I wasn’t up for an episode of Entertainment Tonight. If Ophie thought interrupting my day to report some vacationing celebrities seeking privacy was a priority . . . well I had no answer.
“Okay, don’t guess. It was that part-time waitress you hired. The college girl. But he was no college boy, I can tell you that.”
Why would I care about Elaine Tibor’s love life? “Ophie, listen . . .”
“No. Y’all listen. At first, I thought they were cozy looking but Augusta said the girl was a might too possessive, clingy, you know. I think Blondie got it right when she said the fellow looked a tad uncomfortable. Like he’d rather be anywhere else but here.”
I could hear the pride in her voice, like she’d dropped the bombshell of the century right in my lap.
“Ophie. I have to get back to work. Elaine is a single young woman. She can do as she likes.”
“Don’t y’all want to know who she was doing ‘as she likes’ with?”
I heaved a long and wistful sigh. Anything to end this call. “Okay. Who was she with?”
“Well, I didn’t recognize him at first. But O’Mally knew right on. She grabbed Regina’s arm and said, ‘That’s the man whose wife was murdered. What is he doing with that girl?’ And then I took a closer look and I recognized him from the evening news. It was Tanya Lipscome’s husband. Definitely. Y’all better tell Ryan and that handsome lieutenant.”
“Ophie, we’re really busy. Can’t you tell them? You’re the witness, after all.”
“Much as I like the title, we’re here on a mission. Y’all get a break sooner or later. Call Ryan then. Gotta go.” And she clicked off.
Give her an assignment. The one sure way to get Ophie off the phone. I rushed back inside the café and pitched in to help Bridgy, who was practically roller skating around the room, serving and bussing at warp speed to pick up my slack.
A couple of hours flew by before I noticed an empty table. Then two. The rush was subsiding gradually at first, and then all at once we were down to two tables with folks who were lingering more than eating. Bridgy came out of the kitchen and signaled me to meet her at the counter. She set down a fresh pitcher of lemonade and then pulled some papers out of her pocket. “I know you don’t want to talk about the ice machine, but Royal has a really good one on sale right now. And ours is at the end of its rainbow.” She slid a piece of paper across the glossy countertop. “I did a lot of checking. Miguel even introduced me to the manager of the country club.”
“You’re kidding, right? I would think the club was a place you’d avoid.”
She tossed me a dismissive wave. “We went a while ago. Long before our little adventure with Barry Baby.”
My head snapped up, Bridgy’s ice machine purchase forgotten. “OMG.”
Bridgy waggled her fingers, signaling me to lower my voice, which I did. I lowered to an absolute whisper. “Ophie called.”
“Oh Lord. They didn’t get arrested, did they? I thought last night’s meeting had cooled things down. I swear I will slap that Cordelia Ramer . . .”
“No arrests, at least none that I know of. Ophie, Augusta and Blondie took the Mersky girls on a side tour of Ding Darling, you know, looking at birds, turtles, frogs and butterflies. And who do you think they saw off in the trees all alone and snuggly?”
Bridgy was quick, I give her that. “Don’t tell me. Barry Baby?” She glanced behind me. “Hold that thought.” She hustled a check over to the couple sitting at Hemingway. Then she stood at the register, getting more impatient by the moment until they finally strolled over and paid.
Bridgy smiled and gave them a cheerful, “Enjoy the rest of your day,” and then made a beeline back to me. “So, who is she? Do we know? Did Ophie recognize her? Spill.”
“Oh, we definitely know her. Your Barry Baby was playing footsie on a side path at Ding Darling National Refuge with . . .” I tapped out a rather dramatic drumroll on the countertop. “Elaine Tibor.”
Bridgy gave such a startled yelp that we both looked over at the three people sitting at Agatha Christie, but they were deep in conversation and didn’t pay us any mind.
“I thought she was fooling around with Ellison.” Bridgy’s whisper had an edge of steel.
“Tutoring. She said tutoring.”
Bridgy tut-tutted. “I know what she said but I thought it was code, like booty call.”
“How do you get booty call out of tutoring? Honestly, Bridgy. Let’s focus here. Could having an affair with Elaine Tibor be a motive for Barry Baby to kill his wife?”
Bridgy shook her head. “I’m not sure. I think he’s a dog. Remember how he flirted with me the other day? I peg him as one of those ‘any port in a storm’ types. His son’s tutor is a young girl and she’s around a lot, so he thought he’d give it a whirl. Nothing serious.”
My turn to tut-tut. “Work with me here. I’m trying to find a reason for anyone other than Alan to be the murderer.”
Bridgy looked at the big round clock over the door and waved her arm to erase our conversation. “You have the Teen Book Club meeting today. Time to get ready. We can hunt for motives after the kids leave.”
I glanced at the clock and saw she was right. I pushed Tanya Trouble’s murder to the back of my mind. Well, not too far back.
Chapter Thirty-one ||||||||||
Holly Latimer and two of h
er high school classmates arrived early for the Teen Book Club. They sat down at Emily Dickenson, dropping book bags all around them.
I took out my order pad. “Hungry, ladies?”
“Grumbly-stomach hungry. Today is early lunch day because we have double-session Advanced Placement Math. We haven’t eaten in hours. I swear I could absolutely faint.” The girl with sun-bleached brown hair pulled back in a ponytail that reached her waist wrapped her arms across her stomach and doubled over.
I recalled that her name was Angela and she had a flair for the dramatic, so I humored her. “Sounds serious. Do you need menus?”
The girls telepathically tossed the question to one another and eye vibed the answer. “No, we’re in synch. Your menu items have such fabu names, we never forget the ones we like.” The curly-haired blonde whose name I didn’t know beamed a smile, and I noticed that the bands on her braces were a very patriotic red and blue, pulling back snowy white teeth. “I want a Swiss Family Robinson Cheeseburger. You know I love those cheeseburgers so much that I finally read the book. Obvi, it was mad awesome or I would have given up the burgers.”
After some delightful teenaged giggling, Angela gave me a nod. “I’ll have the same. Medium rare. Extra onions.”
“Eww. Onions. Who’ll want to kiss you with onion breath?”
Angela reached back and pulled her ponytail over her right shoulder. “You’d be surprised.”
The giggles moved up several levels to gales of laughter. As it subsided, I looked at Holly, who asked if it was too late in the day for eggs.
“Never too late. How would you like them cooked?”
“Green Eggs and Ham. Hashtag salsa verde yum.”
I took their drink order and came back with two waters and a sweet tea. When I thought of all the sugary drinks that I drank growing up, I was always surprised by the number of kids who came into the café and ordered water. Then again, so did their parents.
As I set the glasses down, the girls did that “talk to one another without saying a word” thing again. Then Holly muttered, “Angie” under her breath. Angela reached over and tapped Holly’s arm saying, “No. You.” The blonde stared out the window like she was sitting alone and waiting for someone.
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