“Yeah, they are,” he said, knowing there was no getting out of it.
His mom huffed. “What do I have to do to find out more about your man?”
Hamilton wasn’t exactly going to enjoy spilling the beans on his love life, but it would make his mom happy to know about it. He sighed. “His name’s Dallas. I went to visit Morin in Wyoming the other week, and I met Dallas there.”
His mom’s eyes widened. “You met him only last week?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Yet you’re already saying it’s serious.”
Hamilton straightened because the hardest part of the conversation was about to start. He might as well spill everything now, since he’d be leaving the following day anyway. Oh, and he still needed to tell his mom that.
The voices in the room lowered, and Hamilton rolled his eyes. His entire family was listening to him—his father, who was in his armchair, rolling his eyes at his wife, his brother Hank and his wife, Helen, and her husband. At least the kids were busy doing something else, and Hamilton kind of wished they’d make a mess or something so that someone had to go to them.
“Yeah,” he finally said. “Even though it’s only been a week, it’s serious. You, uh, you know about the people who become animals, right?”
Helen tensed next to Hamilton, and his mom’s eyes went even wider. That answered his questions.
“Well, Dallas is one of them. He’s a maned wolf shifter, and I don’t know if you know this, but shifters have mates, like soul mates. I’m Dallas’. That how I know it’s serious. It’s forever.”
“He’s forcing you to be with him?” Hamilton’s father asked from the other side of the room. He looked ready to go find Dallas and pummel him.
“Of course he’s not,” Hamilton said in a hurry. The last thing he needed was his father on the warpath. “Dallas would never force anyone to do anything. He’s a doctor. He saves lives. He’s not—I don’t know how much you know about shifters, but they’re not bad people.”
Hamilton had spent a lot of time surfing the web and watching TV in the past week. It wasn’t something he often did, since he was normally so busy. The news about shifters was all over the place, not that Hamilton had expected anything different. At least the authorities were trying to keep everyone calm. They insisted shifters weren’t dangerous and that they were to be left alone, but not everyone listened to them. Things were pretty bad, and Hamilton was glad Dallas was safe with the pack.
“Tell us more?” his mom asked, and he relaxed a bit. At least she was willing to listen to him.
“Like I said, he’s a doctor. He’s a nice guy who does what he can to help his people. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just living their lives, really, just like you and me.”
“But they can become wolves,” Hamilton’s dad said.
“So? It’s not something they can do anything about. They were born like this, just like I was born gay.”
“They’re animals, Hamilton. It’s not the same thing.”
“They’re part animal, yeah, but they’re also part human. They’re like us. Some of them are good people, some are bad, and believe me, the good ones have done their best to save our human asses for years.”
“And what about this mate thing?” his mother asked.
“Shifters have a soul mate somewhere out there. It’s like our idea of soul mates, really. Two people perfect for each other.”
“And you’re the perfect man for this Dallas?”
“Yeah, and he’s the perfect man for me.”
Hamilton was glad only his dad and his mom were asking questions. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to answer a united front of his entire family.
“I... ” his mom started. “It’s going to take a bit to get used to it.”
Hamilton leaned forward and put his mug down next to his mom’s hip. He took one of her hands and stroked the knuckles. “I know, and I’m not asking you to accept it right away. It’s a lot to take in. It was for me, too. But I spent the week with Dallas, and he’s incredible, Mom. He looks prickly when you first meet him, but there’s so much more than that in him. Humans have done terrible things to him, and to a lot of other shifters, yet they’ve never pursued revenge. They want peace.”
“As long as you’re happy, I have nothing to say. It’s your life, and as much as I want to keep you and your siblings close and to make sure you’re all fine, you have your own lives to live. Yours... well, it’s not what I expected when you were born, but you can make your own decisions.”
Hamilton felt the tension leave his body. His mom accepted his relationship with Dallas. She wasn’t exactly opening her doors to Dallas, not yet, but she’d cave in once she met him and saw with her own eyes that he wasn’t dangerous, that he wouldn’t hurt Hamilton.
He looked around the room, wondering what the rest of his family thought about it. His dad still looked thunderous, but Hamilton’s mom would work her magic on him, and things would be fine. Hank looked worried, and Helen, well. Hamilton wasn’t sure what she felt. She was whispering to her husband, and she was smiling a bit, but Hamilton wasn’t sure why.
No one was screaming, though, and no one was trying to argue with him that he should stay away. So of course, he had to go ruin things by saying, “Oh, and I’m leaving tomorrow.”
Chapter Six
Dallas still felt heavy with food, even after a night’s sleep. The last thing he wanted was to get up and leave his bed, and why should he? Everyone was fine. No one needed him, and Hamilton was at home with his parents. Dallas could indulge for once.
He could, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to. It just wasn’t in his nature to sit back and relax, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty about doing just that. It didn’t matter there really was nothing he could do—he just felt the need to do something productive.
He rolled to his side and checked his cell phone. It was still fairly early to be waking up the day after Christmas. Dallas was surprised he’d slept so long, though. He was used to getting up at six A.M. at the latest. Eight was extraordinary for him.
It was still too early since he had nothing to do.
He groaned and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face into his pillow and hoping he’d be able to sleep some more. Maybe if he just relaxed...
Dallas blinked his eyes open, wondering what was going on. The last thing he remembered was wondering if he’d be able to fall back asleep. He obviously had, because the room was filled with light coming through the window.
The mattress dipped on Dallas’ left side and he looked up. “Hamilton? What are you doing here?”
Hamilton didn’t answer right away. Instead, he leaned down and the sound of boots hitting the floor hit Dallas’ ears. Hamilton got up again and pushed his jeans down his legs, then slipped into bed wearing only boxer briefs and a T-shirt.
Dallas yelped at the feeling of cold toes against his legs and tried to pull away, but Hamilton wasn’t having any of that. He wrapped himself around Dallas, digging his toes between Dallas’ legs and groaning.
“You’re freezing,” Dallas lamented.
“That’s probably because I was outside until a few minutes ago.”
Hamilton obviously wasn’t about to move, so Dallas decided to make the most of what he had. He buried his nose into the side of Hamilton’s neck, smelling him. His scent was there, of course, but there was more to it than when he’d left. Dallas could smell the snow and the forest, the smell of people he didn’t know. There was something flowery clinging to Hamilton’s shoulder as if someone had hugged him. Probably his mom, or his sister. Dallas didn’t mind the extra smells, but he wanted to smell Hamilton, not his family.
“What are you doing here?” he asked again, wondering if he’d get an answer this time. “Weren’t you supposed to be with your family?”
Hamilton kissed the side of Dallas’ face. “I decided to come back early. I spent Christmas with them, did my duty. Now I can dedicate
myself to you.”
Dallas snorted and looked up. “Dedicate yourself to me? Seriously?”
The smile Hamilton gave him was blinding. “Yeah. I told them about you, you know?”
Dallas’ mouth opened in surprise. “You did?”
He’d thought Hamilton might, but they hadn’t talked about it, and Dallas had no idea what Hamilton’s parents would think about shifters and mates, never mind about Hamilton being a shifter’s mate and having to move to Wyoming.
“Of course I did. What did you think, that I was going to keep you a secret? I didn’t even think about doing that. Besides, they’d have asked questions about me moving here, so I told them why I was doing it.”
Dallas relaxed. “I didn’t think that. I just wasn’t sure. We’ve been together only a week after all, and with me being a shifter... ”
“I can’t say my family was overly happy to learn about that, but it’s because they don’t know much about you guys. I explained what I could, and they had a lot of questions. I hope I didn’t say anything I shouldn’t have, but I thought it would make them more comfortable, you know? I want them to accept you.”
Dallas slowly nodded. “You think they will?”
“Yeah. It’ll probably take them some time to digest everything, but Mom was already planning to see you this summer, or maybe earlier. I told her you’re a doctor and that you have a lot of work, so you can decide when and if you want to meet them, okay? I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
Dallas’ heart felt like it was swelling in his chest. He’d known Hamilton cared for him. It had been obvious since the beginning. Sometimes Hamilton behaved as if Dallas was fragile and something to handle with care, as if he was the center of Hamilton’s universe. Dallas still had problems accepting that it was true, and he’d tried to keep some distance so he wouldn’t get hurt when something inevitably happened, but sometimes he just couldn’t. He and Hamilton were mates, and once they bonded, they’d really be together.
Of course, Hamilton could choose to walk away any time he wanted. He’d miss Dallas for a bit, but he’d get used to the empty feeling. Dallas wouldn’t. He couldn’t think like that, though, not when Hamilton was in his bed, in their bed. He couldn’t keep on thinking about what bad things could happen and avoid thinking about the good ones.
“Dallas?” Hamilton said hesitantly. “You don’t have to meet them if you don’t want to.”
Dallas shook himself and kissed Hamilton. Hamilton stiffened in surprise, probably because Dallas didn’t often take the initiative when it came to physical contact. He still doubted that Hamilton found him appealing, but it was getting better.
He could see Hamilton wanted him every time they had sex—every time they made love. Dallas had never seen disgust in Hamilton’s eyes or anything that would make him think Hamilton didn’t really want him. It was weird, but it was also empowering, and it made Dallas feel better about himself. He wanted to feel that way forever.
He kissed Hamilton harder, tried to get closer, but Hamilton put his hands on Dallas’ hips and gently pushed him away. Dallas blushed and tried to move away because Hamilton obviously wanted some space, but Hamilton didn’t release him.
“Hey, hey. Where are you going?” Hamilton asked.
“I have to go to work.”
“On the day after Christmas?”
“People get hurt every day.”
“Dallas.”
Dallas stopped struggling and sighed. “Yes?”
“I’m not pushing you away.”
Dallas shrugged. “All right.” Why was it that he felt perfectly in control most of the time, but a handful of minutes with Hamilton and he was back to being an awkward teenager? He had no idea what to do or what to say, and he hated himself for that.
“I’m not. You just seemed... overwhelmed.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Okay.”
Dallas sighed, because while it might have seemed like Hamilton had given up, Dallas knew him well enough to know he wasn’t. “I wasn’t. I’m just happy to see you, all right?”
“I’m happy to see you too.”
“And I thought it would be nice to... you know.”
“Have sex?”
“Yes. That.”
“Okay.”
Hamilton pushed Dallas on his back and climbed on top of him, and Dallas let himself relax. Hamilton didn’t look like he was rejecting him—Dallas should have known better. Hamilton had barely left his side in the week they’d spent together, and if he hadn’t wanted Dallas, he wouldn’t have come back early. He could have stayed home with his family, or gone back to New York, yet he was here.
“Are you going to tell me what you’re really thinking, or am I going to have to guess?” Hamilton asked.
“Guess what?”
“You think I’m stupid. I know there’s something you’re not telling me, and I know you’re going to obsess over it until you talk it out. You’re going to try to hide it, of course, but I’m good, and I’ll find out eventually. It would be easier to just tell me now.”
He wasn’t going to give up, so Dallas surrendered. “I was just thinking that I missed you and that I feel better when you’re with me. That I like how I feel when I’m with you.”
Hamilton slowly smiled. “And how do you feel when you’re with me?”
Dallas huffed. “Are you really going to make me say it?”
“Of course I am.”
“I just feel like I’m not good enough. Physically, I mean. I know I’m smart, but I also know I’m not the hottest guy out there.”
Hamilton frowned. “I like your body plenty.”
“I know that now. I’m getting used to that idea, but sometimes, well. It still niggles at me.”
“Is that why you were trying to get in my pants? Because you thought what? That you can keep me close with sex?”
“Not really. I just wanted to feel, well, wanted.”
Hamilton smiled softly. “I always want you. Honestly, it’s ridiculous how much I want you. I’d fuck you all day, every day if I could. I’m not sure how to make you see that, though.”
Dallas blinked. He wasn’t sure how to answer that, and he didn’t have any more answers than Hamilton did.
Then Hamilton’s breath hitched, and Dallas knew what he was going to ask even before he asked it.
* * * *
Hamilton wasn’t sure what made him say it, but he couldn’t take it back. He didn’t want to take it back. “We could mate?”
There was a moment of silence, then Dallas opened his mouth, and Hamilton needed to stop him before he could protest so much he’d make Hamilton change his mind.
“No, listen to me. I know we don’t know each other well, but we’re mates. We both know what it means, and I want that. I want to be with you forever, and I’m not going to change my mind. I know you think I will, and I can’t, like, swear I won’t, because it’s life and you can’t swear anything because things change, but I can promise you I’ll cherish you and that I’ll talk to you if something’s wrong and we’ll try to work through it. I’ll never just leave you, and I’ll always try my hardest to make things work. I know I come across as impulsive and childish, but I’m not, not really. Well, I am, but not when it comes to the important things, and you’re important, Dallas. You’re the most important thing in my life right now, and this feels right. I know it sounds stupid, but—”
Dallas pressed a hand on Hamilton’s mouth, shutting him up. Hamilton blinked at him, wondering what was happening. Dallas looked... happy. He looked happy, and it looked good on him. He was smiling, more widely than Hamilton had ever seen him smile, and his eyes were bright.
“You can stop trying to convince me,” he said. “I’m already convinced.”
Hamilton opened his mouth, but Dallas still had his hand pressed against it. He let it fall down to his chest, and Hamilton was free to talk. “You want to mate with me?�
�� he asked, knowing his voice trembled but not doing anything to stop it. He couldn’t have done anything even if he’d wanted to anyway.
“I’ve wanted to since we met.”
“Huh. I thought you were going to put up more of a fight.”
“Why? I’m a shifter. The one thing most of us want above all else is to find our mate and bond with them.”
Hamilton let himself press harder against Dallas. Dallas swallowed heavily, but he didn’t add anything. “So we could have mated a week ago?”
“If you’d asked.”
Hamilton wasn’t sure what to think of that, but it didn’t really matter. Dallas wasn’t impulsive, so for him to say he’d have bound himself for eternity to Hamilton or whatever was huge. It made Hamilton feel like this was the right thing to do, and since they both agreed on that, there was no need to talk anymore. And no need to wear clothes.
He pushed up and quickly got rid of his T-shirt and boxer briefs. Dallas, of course, was wearing pajamas, complete with underwear and socks, so it took Hamilton a bit more time to strip him to the skin, but once he had, the reward was incredible.
They’d slept together before, although they hadn’t had penetrative sex yet. Every time they’d done the nasty, it had been at night and with the lights off. Now Hamilton understood why, and he hated it. He could finally show Dallas what he thought of his body, though, and he wasn’t going to let that opportunity pass.
He looked at Dallas spread on the bed. He’d pushed the covers away when he’d gotten up to strip, and they were still bundled on the foot of the bed. Dallas was naked, and he looked good. He was lean and long. His legs seemed almost too long for his body, but he made it work, and Hamilton couldn’t not think about them wrapped around him.
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