“Sounds like fun, but I need to do some work tonight on some of the projects your mom and I have been talking about.”
“They’ll wait until tomorrow.”
She turned her back to finish scooping the cookies off the sheet. Damn, he was persistent, and she was running out of excuses.
“Maybe next time.”
“What’s going on, Brooke? One minute, you and Ryan are lovey-dovey, and the next you’re keeping him at arm’s length.”
“I’m just trying to do my job.”
“Bull. You’re jerking him around, and he doesn’t deserve that. He’s been through enough.”
“Simon, stop.” Merline had come out of her office, and Brooke felt like running out the back door and not stopping until she got to California.
“It’s true, Mom. This is the first time he’s really acted normal since he got back, and she’s ruining it.”
“I said that’s enough.” This time Merline’s voice was stronger, more like a mother disciplining a child. “Go to work.”
Brooke sensed his hesitation, but he finally complied. But his accusations rang in her ears like a big, clanging cowbell. And they were all true. Unable to hold everything in any longer, fat tears leaked out and streamed down her cheeks. She dropped the spatula and swiped at the tears.
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
“He’s right, I’m ruining everything. I left to try to make things better, but it just keeps chasing me.”
Merline stepped closer and took Brooke’s hands in hers. “What’s chasing you?”
Brooke met Merline’s gaze through her wet lashes. “My past.” She broke contact and paced across the kitchen, putting distance between herself and Merline. “Someone in my past.”
Merline remained silent, giving Brooke the time she needed to tell her story. Part of Brooke was whispering that she should have shared this with Ryan if she truly cared about him, but the thought made her ill. She hated the idea of how he might look at her, like the victim she’d allowed herself to be.
“I dated someone, and for a while he seemed…perfect. Chris was good-looking, a successful lobbyist in Washington, interested in me. At least that’s how he made it seem. Everything changed so gradually that I didn’t realize it at first. And when I did, it was too late.”
“Did he hit you?” Merline asked. Her question sounded like that of a protective mama bear, and it made fresh tears well in Brooke’s eyes.
Brooke shook her head. “No. But the unspoken threat was there if I didn’t do what he wanted.” She sighed, wishing she could erase that part of her life that had ever been touched by Chris. “This is so embarrassing. It makes me feel like an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot.” Merline said it with such conviction that it gave Brooke the strength to go on.
“Looking back, I guess the first signs were when he’d be upset when I had to work late or when I went out with friends. I chalked it up to him just wanting to spend time with me. But then he started calling me more and more, like he was checking to see that I was where I was supposed to be. And he’d be at my place when I got home from work. It got to where I never had any time alone. The smothering was one thing, but…” She choked on the memory of what came next. “When I told him that I wanted to break up, that’s when he got really scary. He said that he wouldn’t let me go, that I didn’t really want that either. He started spending the night every night, and I was afraid to say no.”
She blinked against her tears.
“How did you get away?”
“It went on for a year, and I became the perfect actress. And then I did the thing he feared most. I ran away. I went to work like I normally did because I knew he made sure that’s where I went before he went to work, and then I returned home. I packed only what I could in my car and left everything else behind, with no forwarding address. I went somewhere I had no connections and sold my car, went somewhere else to buy the one I have now. I paid cash I got from closing my checking account so he couldn’t trace it.”
“And that’s why you came here? To hide?”
Brooke swiped at a tear that escaped as she nodded. If she’d ever thought it might be easier to tell Merline than it would have been Ryan, she’d been wrong. In some ways, it was worse because this was the woman she’d convinced to hire her under false pretenses. The one she now thought of as a mother figure.
Brooke’s voice broke as she met Merline’s too kind, too understanding eyes. She didn’t deserve that kindness or understanding. “I lied to you. I didn’t even tell you who I really am. My name isn’t Brooke Vincent. It’s Brooke Alder.”
Movement out of the corner of her eye caught Brooke’s attention. When she turned, her heart faltered. Sometime during her pacing confession, Ryan had come into the house. How much had he heard? She braced for a tirade of anger, but it didn’t come. Instead, his face reflected pain. He turned and retraced his steps out the front door.
Feeling as though her life was crumbling around her, she hurried after him, catching him on the front porch.
“Ryan, wait.” She didn’t even try to mask the desperation in her voice. “I’m sorry.”
“For which part? Lying to us? Or pretending to care about us?” He said “us” but she knew he meant him.
“I didn’t plan this, caring about you.”
“Good to know.”
She couldn’t stand how he looked at her, as if he’d made a mistake in caring about her. He couldn’t be that cruel, could he?
“How much did you hear?”
“Enough.”
“How much, Ryan?”
“That you came here under a false name and that you’re running away from something.” He shook his head. “Did you break the law?”
She swallowed, hurt that he could think that. But she had no right to be hurt. She was the one at fault. Though she was still raw from confessing all to Merline, she repeated everything. She didn’t let herself hope for forgiveness, not even when she saw how his expression and stiff stance changed to reflect some sympathy as she revealed more and more.
When she finished, he lifted his hand as if he might touch her, then let it drop back to his side. “I’m not him. I wouldn’t have hurt you like that.”
She ignored how his last sentence was in past tense, as if she’d blown her one and only chance with him.
“I know that now.” She bit her lip to still the trembling there before going on. “I really do care about you, Ryan.”
It would be so much easier to leave if she hadn’t confessed that, but she couldn’t help it. The past few days had been horrible, knowing he was so close and trying to be with her while she deliberately stayed away.
“Just not enough to be honest with me.” He sounded more sad than angry, and she didn’t know which hurt her more.
“I…” God, how did she make this better? “I wanted it to just go away, to protect you.”
“I don’t need protecting. I wish people would stop thinking I do.”
She bit her trembling lip again as tears gathered in her eyes. “You don’t understand. Chris is powerful, a big-time lobbyist in Washington. He knows people in high places, and he could find me if I didn’t do something drastic.”
He met her eyes, holding her gaze. “Is my family in danger?”
“No.” But a yes echoed in her head.
“I need to be sure of that, Brooke.”
“I’ve taken every precaution I could think of, but I’ll leave if you want.” It ripped her apart inside to even consider it.
“I didn’t say that.” He looked away, toward the pasture. “I’m upset, but I want you to be safe.”
For a moment, she thought he might turn and pull her into his arms, might forgive her. Instead, he turned and des
cended the front steps.
She reached for him, but all she caught was air. “Ryan?”
“I need to be alone to think.” Without looking at her, he started walking toward his home.
She drew her hand back and hugged it to her chest. More tears flowed down the same tracks along her cheeks, but these were worse. They burned as they escaped, and her heart felt as if a demon was inside her chest ripping chunks out of it and discarding them like unnecessary trash.
The front door opened, and suddenly Merline’s arm was around her. Brooke didn’t deserve the comfort, but she accepted it nonetheless. The way she was shaking, she might collapse into a heap of despair on the porch if she didn’t.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”
“Shh,” Merline said as she rubbed Brooke’s arm and hugged her tighter to her side. “Don’t you worry. We won’t let anyone hurt you.”
Brooke pulled away. “No, I can’t let you all become involved in this. He’s already shown up at my sister’s office in West Virginia. I’ve got to find a way to make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone I care about just to get to me.”
Merline braced her hands on her hips. “Don’t you go getting any foolish ideas about falling on your sword or something. In case you hadn’t noticed, we take care of our own here.”
“But—”
“No buts. We’ve got enough big, tough Texans here that that city boy won’t know what hit him. I even have an in with the sheriff,” Merline said with a small smile.
“I’m not sure he’d agree with you.”
“Never mind Simon. He’s just watching out for his brother.” Brooke glanced down the driveway, but Ryan had already disappeared.
“And give Ryan time,” Merline said with a gentleness that made Brooke’s breaking heart ache even more. “I’ve seen how he looks at you. He’ll come around.”
Brooke didn’t know how Merline could think that.
But Merline hadn’t seen the look of betrayal in Ryan’s eyes just before he’d turned his back to Brooke. Before he’d walked away for what might be the last time.
RYAN WONDERED WHAT he should call his other half because since he’d walked away from Brooke the day before he’d felt a little like Jekyll and Hyde. Half of him wished he’d never met Brooke, wanted her to pack up and leave, taking her issues with her. But half of him realized that was hurt talking, and he wanted to go wrap her in his protective arms, to make sure this Chris guy never got anywhere near her again.
Unable to sleep in the bed where he’d made love to her, he’d spent the night in the shop working before collapsing on the couch for a few hours of less-than-restful sleep. Now fortified with some industrial-strength coffee, he was at it again. He’d knocked out two complete orders overnight, but now he felt as if he was trying to work with ten thumbs instead of his normal arrangement of fingers.
He cursed and paced a circle around the shop. Unable to stand its confines anymore, he grabbed his keys and headed for his truck. The edge of Blue Falls was visible out his windshield before he had any idea where he was heading. There was something he needed to know, and his brother was just the person to ask.
Ryan strode into the sheriff’s department and straight through to Simon’s office. He sank into a chair opposite Simon’s desk.
“Well, I’m guessing this isn’t a ‘Hi, big brother, I missed you’ visit.”
“I need you to find out some information about someone.”
“Brooke?”
“No, the guy she ran from.” He told Simon what Brooke had told him the day before. “His name is Chris something, and he’s some big-time lobbyist in D.C. I want to know how dangerous he might be.”
Simon stared at him without speaking for several moments. “You sure you want to go down this road?”
“No matter what she’s done or said—or not said—no woman deserves to be that afraid of a man.” Despite everything, he’d be hard-pressed not to rip the guy’s head off for putting the kind of fear in Brooke that made her feel as if she had to lie.
His anger shifted inside him, dissipating some, making way for more understanding. If he’d felt that trapped, what might he have done in her situation?
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
His brother, normally the consummate jokester, sounded dead serious. That’s when Ryan knew the truth of it, that he did in fact love Brooke Vin…Alder. Whatever her name was, he wanted to be with her. But he had to make sure his family wasn’t in any danger first. That Brooke was safe. Then the two of them could start over.
“Yeah, I am.”
Simon sighed. “You all are dropping like flies.”
A moment passed before Ryan laughed. Despite everything, he laughed hard.
“You should be happy. With Nathan and me out of the way, that clears the way for you with the ladies of Blue Falls.”
Simon nodded. “You make an excellent point. You always were the smartest one of us.”
He hoped his decision here was a smart one, because he wanted this Chris fella out of Brooke’s life for good. He didn’t want anything—or anyone—standing in his way when he found the right words to tell her exactly how he felt. That he could no longer imagine his life without her.
Chapter Fourteen
Brooke felt as if her heart had been coated in lead and left to hang heavy and painful in her chest. The lovely sight of the colorful painted bunting couldn’t even bring a smile to her face this morning. Maybe it was because she suspected this was the last time she’d walk this familiar path from the bunkhouse to the main house as the sun peeked over the horizon.
She was tired of crying herself to sleep as she had the past two nights, and if she stayed here she feared the tears would never end. Yet again, she was preparing to pack up and start over somewhere else. Only this time she didn’t want to leave. But if Ryan didn’t come to her today, saying he’d forgiven her and wanted to be with her, she would drive away from Vista Hills and try her best not to fall apart as it faded in the rearview mirror.
The resignation letter weighed down her pocket throughout the morning, and she jerked her gaze to the doorway every time it opened. But it was never Ryan stepping across the threshold, and each time another chunk of her heart broke to pieces.
By the time she’d cleaned up after dinner, she just wanted to get the hard part over with. So she went to Merline’s office before she lost her nerve.
“Hey, Brooke. I thought you’d left already.”
“No, I needed to give you this.” She concentrated on not letting the folded sheet of paper shake as she extended it to Merline.
“What’s this?” Merline asked as she took the paper.
“My resignation letter.”
Merline shot her a surprised look. “This isn’t necessary. I promise, Ryan will come around.”
Brooke’s lips curved into a sad smile. “I don’t think so. And I don’t blame him. I wasn’t honest with him about my past when he trusted me with his.”
Merline tossed the paper aside without reading it. “You did what you thought you had to.”
“Why are you so understanding? You didn’t even seem surprised when I told you.”
“Because I wasn’t. When I did your employee paperwork, I found out there was no Brooke Vincent.”
Brooke stared at the other woman in disbelief. “And you didn’t fire me?”
“You did your job well, and you didn’t seem like a criminal. I figured you had to have a good reason, and that when you felt comfortable enough you’d tell me.”
“You’re too trusting.”
Merline shrugged. “If that’s the worst I’m ever accused of being, I can live with that.”
Trying to grasp everything her boss was telling her, Brooke
took a couple of steps and gripped the back of one of the leather chairs facing Merline’s desk. “Regardless, I need to go.”
“Okay, but I’d like you to stay through the end of the week, give me time to find someone else.”
Brooke swallowed, hurt by the idea of someone else in this position she’d unexpectedly come to love. But now that she’d made the decision to leave, she just wanted to go. She suspected Merline was using her guilt to get her to stay, hoping the extra days at the ranch would give Brooke time to change her mind. Maybe time for Ryan to come around. Brooke wasn’t going to hold her breath, but she couldn’t refuse Merline’s request. Not after how kind and understanding the other woman had been.
“Okay, through the end of the week.” She paused, watching Merline. “This would be so much easier if you were mad at me for lying.”
Merline smiled. “Sorry, can’t help you there.”
Brooke met the other woman’s eyes. “My mom would have really liked you.”
“I’m sure I would have liked her as well. After all, she raised a wonderful daughter.”
“Thank you, for everything.” She turned and left the office before she started blubbering.
She was halfway back to the kitchen when Merline stepped out of her office. “Brooke?”
She turned back around. “Yes?”
“I want you to know that if you do leave, it doesn’t have to be forever. You’re always welcome here.”
Not trusting her voice to perform properly, she gave a little nod and headed out the back door. She might have agreed to stay a few more days, but she still had packing to do. She paused there a moment, leaning back against the side of the house, and pulled her emotions under control.
When she reached the bunkhouse, she set to work packing, knowing that if she stopped, even for a moment, she’d start crying again.
RYAN SAT ON his front porch, a beer in hand, doing something he’d made long practice of avoiding—sorting out his thoughts and feelings.
Simon’s investigation into Brooke’s past hadn’t turned up much that could help him. All he knew was where she’d worked—some swanky D.C. hotel—and that Chris Franklin was a high-powered lobbyist who had a squeaky-clean record. Too squeaky clean, Simon had said.
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